//------------------------------//
// Not Canon! 
// Story: If Solaris had a Text-to-Speech Device 
// by Jay David 
//------------------------------//

"SO...THAT WAS EQUESTRIA'S NEW RULER?"

"Father," Luna began. "I assure you, she's usually more professional than that."

Discord raised his index finger. "Except when it comes to those who can tell her more about Celestia. And goodness knows you certainly qualify on that front."

"And let's not forget that your existence probably helps fill in a lot of the blank spaces in Equestria's history books," Flash added. "Something a scholar such has the Princess would appreciate."

"BE THAT AS IT MAY, IT WAS SOMEWHAT JARRING TO SUDDENLY BE UNDER THE MICROSCOPE LIKE THAT. MY THANKS TO YOU, DAUGHTER, FOR CONVINCING HER TO LEAVE."

Luna shrugged. "It was a simple matter, Father. I merely reminded her that there were other duties of governance that she needed to attend. For all her obsessions, you can always count of Twilight to be devoted to a timetable."

"EFFICIENT. I LIKE THAT."

Looking down to Flash, Discord smirked. "In any case, I'm sure you were happy of the visit, eh?"

Flash frowned to him, then glanced away. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

The Draconequus scoffed. "Oh, I know you do. Always nice for the beau to come along."

"We are not going to discuss this," Flash responded firmly.

"OKAY, SPILL," Solaris demanded. "WHAT LITTLE IN-JOKE ARE YOU TWO ON ABOUT?"

Discord gleefully rubbed his hands together. "Why, we're simply discussing the steamy love affair of the Princess and our little knight here."

Flash facehoofed immediately upon hearing that, and Luna looked like she was tempted to do the same, but just resorted to shaking her head instead. As for Solaris, he remained silent for a time. When he eventually spoke, even through his mechanical monotone, it could be felt that he was in on the joke now. "GIVEN WHAT I KNOW OF DISCORD, I ASSUME THIS IS MERELY JEST ON HIS PART?"

"Yes, Sir." Flash eventually answered. "Very much so."

"...YET I FEEL SUCH A JOKE WOULD NOT HAVE AN IMPACT UNLESS THERE WAS SOME...BASIS FOR IT?"

Flash sighed deeply, glancing in Luna's direction. And while the latter was looking like she was taking some small measure of amusement over the matter, her expression also told Flash that he just needed to come out and explain things if he was going to get out of this. So, after rubbing his temples briefly, he did just that. "Well...it all began a few years back, when I was stationed in the Crystal Empire."

"YOU WERE IN THE EMPIRE? WHY?"

"When they first returned, a lot of the city was in disarray from their ordeal," Flash explained. "Prince Shining and a number of the Guard from here in Canterlot were sent there to help them organize. Once they had a Guard of their own, me and the rest of the Canterlot units returned here." He looked away. "Anyway, I met Princess Twilight there, but only briefly. She, on the other hoof, had something of an adventure there."

"One involving another reality, Father," Luna added.

"...AND A MIRROR, I ASSUME?"

All looked to him with surprise. "You know about that?" his daughter asked.

"ONE DOES NOT BECOME A MASTER OF MAGIC WITHOUT LEARNING SUCH THINGS, LUNA."

Flash looked from one alicorn to the other before resuming his story. "Well...while on the other side of it, she apparently encountered..." He sighed. "An alternate version of me. They hit it off, she came back here afterwards, we bumped into each other again, and that pretty much sums up our entire history together."

"SINCE YOU KNOW THIS STORY OF HER OTHERWORLDLY ADVENTURES, I CAN ONLY ASSUME THE TALE GOT OUT?"

Flash nodded. "Yes. The exploits of the Princess and her friends becomes commonplace gossip fairly quickly, especially in a realm that reveres them like the Crystal Empire. Word spread, and before long the assumption was that she and I had become...well...close."

"MUST HAVE BEEN NICE TO HAVE BEEN ABLE TO BRAG ABOUT THAT." After seeing that Flash wasn't looking quite comfortable with that, Solaris continued. "...OR NOT?"

"No, it wasn't. Putting aside the fact that it wasn't me she'd grown close to, just some alternate version of me, the bottom line is that I have no designs on the Princess. I had to clarify that to everypony who asked me about it. And trust me, there were many."

Luna gave him a knowing smile. "Including her brother, if I recall correctly?"

Flash winced. "Indeed. I remember well the day I was called to his office to explain myself. I'm sure Captain Shining took me at my word that nothing was going on between his sister and I, but truth be told I think he only truly relented once his wife had spoken to him about it afterwards."

Discord folded his arms. "I'm no expert on romance, but it sounds pretty hypocritical of the stallion to get all upset over your supposed wooing of Twilight when he married an alicorn."

"He's her brother," Flash reminded him. "It's only natural he'd be protective."

Discord rolled his eyes. "Must you be so sickeningly understanding?"

"SO THEN, SENTRY. DO YOU STILL GET TEASED ABOUT ALL THIS BY YOUR FELLOWS IN THE GUARD?"

Flash shook his head. "Thankfully, not these days. In fact, this conversation here is the first it's been brought up for quite some time."

"AND JUST TO CLARIFY...YOU DON'T HAVE AN INTEREST IN PRINCESS TWILIGHT?"

The stallion exhaled deeply. "No, I do not. Make no mistake, she's a remarkable mare. A hero to the nation. I've lost count of how many times we in Equestria have become indebted to her. But I seek no relationship with her. And even if I did, I'd be unable. My work in the Guard is too important to me to divert time to finding a partner."

Luna chuckled slightly. "A workaholic. You remined me of Father."

"ONLY SMALLER, LESS MAGICAL AND OVERALL LESS INTERESTING."

"...If you say so, Sir," Flash replied with a barely-hidden irritation over the remark.

"BUT EVEN SO, YOU SHOULD COUNT YOURSELF LUCKY. WE ALICORNS ARE A TRUE PRIZE FOR ANY ORDINARY PONY. FOR YOU TO BE CONSIDERED A POTENTIAL MATCH TO ONE IS A GREAT HONOUR."

Flash grimaced over his relationship status still being discussed like this, and before long he watched as Luna leaned in to him to whisper to him once more. "If you think this is bad, you should've seen the days when he tried playing matchmaker to my sister and I."

For the first time today, Flash smiled. "Now there's a story I'd like to hear."