//------------------------------// // Chapter 6. Twist My Arm. // Story: My Large Villain: Alcohol is Magic // by Hotel_Chicken //------------------------------// Tirek felt uneasy as he hung the clock back up, its ticks hammering in his skull as he felt the seconds drag by. The night before had been an odd adventure for the centaur. He had never expected one of the princesses to casually trot into his bar, let alone share a drink with either alicorn as he told them of his conquest of Canterlot. The younger immortal listened with great interest, occasionally stopping him to ask a question or pausing to refill her glass. He talked throughout the night, starting with his team up with Discord, until the final battle where the terrible trio had used the chaos spirit's own power against him. As he spoke, he kept revealing more and more to the mare without much prompt, not bothering to hide a single detail as he did so. Tirek believed that the lunar princess would cart him off when he was done, so it didn't matter how much she would know. He was probably going to be encased in stone and locked up in Tartarus anyway, what difference did it make if he kept anything secret from her. But, to his surprise and seemingly her own, the princess left without any problems. She paid for her tab with several heavy bags of bits, left a generous tip for Tirek, and even left the medallion he had pawned off. He was given a second chance at life, and the princess had apparently approved of it by not locking him up again. But... that couldn't be the end of it. Tirek had told her everything. How he got out of Tartarus, how he met Cozy Glow, the letters, the plans, the battles. He left nothing out, and yet the princess did nothing. It felt far too good to be true, and Tirek felt like the princess would return at any moment. But what would he do? Run? The princesses had known about the Cat's Cradle for months without him even realizing it, he wouldn't be able to escape without some creature tailing him. Not to mention that he had nowhere to go if he did. Nermal had only hired him because he was too stupid to know what a minotaur actually looked like, no pony or creature would be willing to give him a job and boarding. The only choice he really had was to wait and hope that the princesses would be lenient. Maybe he could make a case for... Ugh, "reformation." He hated of being dragged through the same torture that Discord described in the past, but if he had to swallow his pride and take "friendship" lessons, then that's what he would do. He could make friends with one pony... probably... ... Maybe they grade on a curb, Tirek thought to himself before he heard the the door swing open. He turned his attention to the entrance, preparing to greet the patron with a warm smile, except nopony was there. Chalking it up to the wind, Tirek turned his attention back to the task at hand as he finished fixing the clock. Princess Luna's entrance had done a number on most of the bar. Every bulb needed to be replaced, the clocks needed to be corrected, and now he needed to call somepony about the loose windows. At least the princess' tab would cover the bar's rent for the next two years, so calling somepony to fix a few other issues wouldn't be much of a problem. As he returned to his usual spot behind the bar, he suddenly heard a faint rattle in the rafters. Tirek quickly found the source of the odd noise when he spotted a snake with a baby rattle looking down at him. The snake slithered behind the beams above, disappearing into thin air as Tirek heard a familiar voice. "My oh my Tirek, look at how much you've grown!" Discord laughed, as the billiards morphed into an actual pool. The chaotic spirit's shadow stretched across the room, turning the record player into a popcorn machine and giving the chairs sentient legs. "Discord! I have no time for your games! Show yourself!" Tirek demanded, as the chimera chuckled. "Oh Tirek, no need to shout. I'm right behind you," Discord replied. Quickly turning to face the spirit of chaos, only to find a spirit of vodka on the shelf that hadn't been there before. As Tirek took the bottle off of his shelf, he heard Discord's mocking voice behind him. "Oh, that's a wonderful choice. I think I'll take that one," the spirit ordered, sitting comfortably on a bar stool as he held up an empty glass. "Why are you here, Discord?" Tirek asked, placing the bottle back on the shelf as Discord served himself a glass of milk. "Well, I was in the neighborhood and thought I should drop in and say hello." "You expect me to believe that?" Tirek replied, placing his hands on the bar top as he glared at Discord. "Just get it over with. The princesses ordered you to capture me, didn't they?" "Oh, no. In fact, Luna actually asked me not to come here, but I never was good at following the rules." "Then... did Princess Celestia not say anything?" "Oh, Celly has no idea about you being here. Even I didn't know that you were working somewhere so... well, not to be rude or anything, but boring!" Discord revealed, giving the centaur a moment to think about what he said. "I mean, honestly Tirek, it's a ghost town in here. Even the ghosts have already abandoned it! Why don't I liven this place up a little? Maybe I can invite the ghosts of Hearthswarming past, present, and future? Those three are always fun treat to be around." "Princess Luna hasn't told her?" Tirek asked, bringing the chimera out of his wild ramblings. "Nope, not a word as far as I can tell. I think she wants this to be a little surprise for Celly." "A surprise?" Tirek asked incredulously. A cake was a surprise. A foal was a surprise. Having an enemy of the kingdom work as a bartender on some no-name street in Manehattan? That was a little bit more than a "surprise" in Tirek's opinion. "And... How much did Princess Luna tell you?" "Oh, not much. Just to keep my mismatched hands off of her secret paperwork. Then when I brought up a little report I read about you, she said to keep my muzzle out of it." "Then do you know--" "Up, up, up, I don't want any spoilers," Discord interrupted. "Yes, I read about your little tumble through time, Tirek, and I don't want to know anything more about it. If you tell me I did something then I'll just want to do the opposite of it. Just keep it a secret and maybe we can talk about it in a hundred years or so," he offered, pulling out a calendar book as he jotted down a note. "Oh, we can make a whole day out of it." "... Do you think I'll be around that long?" Tirek asked, letting a faint twinkle of hope tickle his heart. "I know you will. Now, whether or not you're in Tartarus when that happens is entirely up to you. But I'm really hoping that you won't be by then. Now, about that drink?" Discord asked, lifting his glass once more with a little shake. Tirek slowly reached back to uncork the new bottle, pouring the spirit a spirit as Discord grinned. "Thank you. Honestly, Tirek, your customer service could use a little bit of work as well." "I would if I thought you understood how bits worked," Tirek griped, putting the bottle back on the shelf when it suddenly grew a halo and wings. Rising up to the ceiling and clinking against it several times. "Oh please, Tirek. You should be paying me for my company... And for not threatening you," Discord said, as the bottle suddenly fell to the ground and shattered. "I noticed that there was a little chaos magic sticking to your fur. I'm guessing that's why you don't look like an old withered man." "I--" "If you have a little bit of my magic, then it can only be because you took it," Discord interrupted, grabbing Tirek by his collar as he pulled him closer. "Don't step out of line, Tirek. Otherwise, we are going to have some serious problems." With a snap of his talons, Discord undid his spells and stood up, taking out a small sack that he placed on the bar. "I'd love to stay and talk more, but I'm afraid I actually have something to do tonight, there's a fireworks show in Ponyville that needs a few more explosions. Take care, Tirek, I'll see you when I'm free," he promised, teleporting out of the bar with a snap off his talons Tirek braced himself against the bar top when the spirit left, his heavy breaths begging for air as he felt grabbed his shirt. He thanked whatever spirit or creature had sent Discord away, sending a silent prayer that the chimera wouldn't return for a long time. As Tirek began to collect himself and calm down, his eyes drifted back to the bag Discord had left to pay for his drink. Tirek eyed the bag wearily as he grabbed it, gently grabbing one of the loose strings before a thought struck him. Tirek held the bag with one hand as he trotted around the bar, tossing it in the bathroom trashcan and dusted his hands clean. He wasn't going to take a chance with anything that Discord had put in the bag. And if there were bits inside, then maybe somepony desperate enough would be willing to take the bag instead. Sadly, as he left the bathroom to go clean up the broken bottle, Tirek heard a loud pop from the bathroom. Small pieces of confetti fluttered under the bathroom door, hinting at the large mess that was left behind by the bag. "... Buck," Tirek cursed, grabbing a broom from behind the counter as he went to clean up the new mess.