Dennis EwƎ ƨinnɘᗡ

by Fireflower


Maximum the Hormone

It was a bright and sunny day here in an otherwise sleepy town made up of straws, sticks, bricks, mortars, and even a pestle as is: considering the flora and fauna living in a perfect checks and balances of peace with harmony, it’d even be smelt and dealt too; however, the atmosphere was under pressure, pushing down on the landscape with its heavy weapons concentrated in its aura.

The source of it was coming from a circular building out in the middle of town, ligneous to a fault but otherwise filled by life: it was surrounded by equines, great and small with variations, known and unknown, present and accounted for with one another; of course, the commonality between them was the fierce grimaces shaken and stirred upon their own visages, nothing more.

“Alright, citizens, we are all extremely upset over what’s happened, but let’s try to speak one at a time…” one of them had announced instantaneously so to speak of, a lightly tanned mare with white hair and eyes of a raging tsunami mere moments away from massacring the approaching shoreline even though her peers weren’t the target of such impending doom and gloom no less.

A big crimson stallion, gingerly in appearance with solid jade containing the acid, had taken the time to rise up and speak freely, monotone as he was without a need for a spotlight besides the sun, “well, like the rest of y’all, Ah am shocked and appalled at what happened: Ah don’t know if the parents are t’ blame or if it’s the times we’re living in, but something has to change…!”

“Yeah…!” cried the audience around him as the heat was on and off, generating itself through the collective will and power of, for, and by the ponies for the most part; even though she was assaulted by their forte, her eyes showed restraint, far more compared to the rather thin glasses overlaying them both as they’d been turned away to a linear direction all the same, “I agree…!”

“This is the worst thing that’s happened in this town, the worst thing…!” cried another mare, this time a white unicorn and more colorful in the horsehair department alone, especially since both of them had big blue eyes; however, the former had shadows and length enhancing them as hell and highwater banded together in an uneasy alliance upon the land of the living as they all were.

Another ginger stallion, albeit smaller and yellow as a cake devoid of uranium, had chimed into the fray, his octaves higher than his burning hot counterpart but otherwise firm and stable herein, “yeah, I mean there wee foals listening in the concert and when that wretched teenager walked around and sanged that song, it was an outrage… a blooming onion’s worth of it nonetheless…!”

“Not only that, the concert was being filmed in front of a live studio audience so my nietos watching at home heard the lyrics…!” hissed yet another mare, now a pink pegasus with straight black tresses with sunglasses over her indignant gaze as a balance betwixt the old and young since they were both restless in their legs, “how am I supposed to explain that to them both?!”

“This is what happens when the moral fabric of society breaks down…!” an additional myopic meanderer announced had, gray as the rock without moss with both eyes were lighter in color compared to the primordial and the opalescent mare tied into a bun devoid of flavor and aroma, something which had sat the mare apart from the rest of the herd they were all currently inside.

Another unicorn, nearsighted as the many mares were, stood up close and personal with a short brown mane, eyes reddened as the giant from afore with a white coat over his beige integuments, “you see the damage you’ve caused, sick dastard; what were you thinking: that you were going to get some chicks singing that song like it was going out of business faster than Bravomax…?”

“I told you it was an earworm infection: I’d tried getting it out myself but the stupid thing kept finding its way back to me…!” another pony stood mere meters away from the tanned mare, a blond stallion with an orange range of cuts and bruises as is, “I even took the liberty of sewing my lips shut for the time being and wore a mask over it; shouldn’t it count for something…?”

“Uh, yeah… I agree: our friend’s autistic damaged mind couldn’t make out what the lyrics had meant; Dennis should be punished and transformed: I say we tar and feather this stupid prick…!” a young colt replied, yet another ginger except without freckles as his attire had consisted of an emerald splashed hat and pants combo with an orange coat over the taupe epidermis already.

An aged zebra with a short hairstyle of white trotted along as one of his eyes had a shrunken pupil devoid of details, carrying a bucket and a mop of black liquid and cleared oxygen said, “way ahead of you: it’s about high time these Neighps learn to keep their wordplay out of the youngins’ ears; he makes Li’l Gabby High sound like a joke and he worships the archdevil…!”

“Screw you, old jade…!” the battered bystander barked before being besieged by an abundance of the elder’s contents without any warning as is; soon enough, the former was now covered from head to tail as its solid texture clung unto the integumentary system already, “what the fuck did you do to me: why is it all so wet and sticky…?”

“Ponies these days need to have some respect for their elders, no matter how old they get; besides, your J–Rock is but a gateway drug that makes all the stanky booty guerilla noise here too coherent…!” the aged zebra replied before bursting with laughter, his sights already being treated to the condition of the blackened blond burping up tar from every orifice, known and unknown.