Entry 10, by Elslowmo
Entry 11, by Zulu
The Adventures of Mega Pinkie Pie
Just as the first rays of sunshine broke through the horizon, the citizens of Ponyville awoke to a chilling sound: A low, repeated rumble shook the sleepy town’s buildings, jostling their inhabitants, breaking flower vases, and shattering the peace and quiet. Scared ponies darted out of their beds and homes and into the town square.
“W-what’s going on, Twilight?” Spike asked. The adolescent dragon, usually groggily begging for just a few more minutes of sleep at this hour, was now wide awake. He shuddered and shivered in fright. The herd of ponies quieted down and turned to their resident egghead and representative of the Princess Herself – surely Twilight Sparkle knew what was going on. Twilight instinctively stood behind the town square’s podium before addressing the crowd.
“I don’t know, Spike, bu-“
The town’s ponies screamed in terror and began shouting their own theories over the rumbling shocks.
“It’s a monster!”
“It’s an earthquake!”
“It’s the end of the world!”
“QUIET!” Twilight shouted. Surprisingly, the ponies calmed down and paid attention.
“It’s not an earthquake: Ponyville doesn’t lie near any major fault-lines. And it’s not the end of the world: I’m sure Celestia would have written.” She chuckled at her own small joke, but none of the other ponies seemed to think it was funny.
“But what about the m-monster?” Fluttershy squeaked out from under a bush.
“The only monster big enough to cause this amount of noise would be a dragon-“
This did little to calm the town’s fears. The townsponies went hysterical, madly running around, bumping into one another, trying to hide from the impending dragon attack. Twilight rapped madly at the podium, screaming for some kind of order.
“Hey, quiet down now, ya silly varmints!” Applejack shouted as she ran into the town square. The ponies stopped mid-conniption, and turned to the most-sensible pony in the town. Yes, if anyone knew how to handle a crisis, it was Applejack.
“I heard all this ruckus at the farm and came runnin’,” Applejack said, “Now, I didn’t come all this way just to watch y’all hoot and holler and cry. What’s goin’ on?”
Sensing that Applejack wouldn’t like to hear their pet theories concerning their approaching doom, the townsponies turned once again to Twilight Sparkle. Twilight, shocked that the ponies had stopped their freak-out for a moment, took a second to gather her thoughts.
“I was just saying that we don’t know what’s causing this, but it might be a dragon,” Twilight said as calmly as she could. She waited for the inevitable screams, but only a few “eeps” came from the crowd, which were easily overshadowed by the ominous rumble still shaking the town. “But, as I was going to say,” she eyed a few shameful faces in the crowd as she spoke, “even if it is a dragon, it’s probably a flightless one.”
“I’m right there with you, Twilight: If it can’t fly, it doesn’t stand a chance against us!” Rainbow Dash boasted as she performed a few demonstratory somersaults. The town began to laugh and cheer, their hopes for survival having substantially increased.
Twilight rolled her eyes and waived her hoof dismissively. “No, that’s not the point. Flightless dragons tend to be friendly, like Spike here. That’s why they send some of their children to live with us, after all. They’ve had a treaty of friendship with Equestria for over five-hundred years now, and no flightless dragons have attacked a pony settlement since well before that.”
A single white hoof rose up from the crowd.
“Yes, question,” Twilight said firmly.
“What about that time Spike kidnapped me and wrecked part of the town?” Rarity asked. A low murmur swept through the crowd.
“That doesn’t count because Spike is one of us. We all agreed on that.”
“Well, then it’s settled,” said the Mayor as she shoved Twilight to the side and off of the podium. “In the interests of Equestrian diplomacy, we need to welcome this friendly dragon to our humble town.” The townsponies cheered and returned to their still-jostling homes.
“Wait, so what are we going to do?” Spike asked Twilight.
“We’re going to give the dragon a gift. Offering large piles of gifts to visiting friendly-but-dangerous monsters is an Equestrian tradition, Spike. It ensures that friendly monsters stay friendly.” Twilight tossed Spike onto her back and trotted back into the library. Spike smiled. He was going to finally meet a dragon that was just like him.
---
In the space of about ten minutes, what was once a low rumble shaking the town had turned into a loud, intermittent crash every few seconds. Evidently, whatever was making the noise was getting much closer. But the town was quick in its preparations, and all the ponies gathered near the edge of the Everfree Forest . All present had brought a small gift for the dragon, though a few had something special. The Cakes had, naturally, brought a large assortment of baked goods, while Mr. Breezy brought an especially large fan. Twilight and the Mayor surveyed the pile of gifts.
“Well, I think that should do it. This should be more than enough to make the dragon feel welcome,” Twilight said.
Spike went down his checklist, counting off the ponies present. “Wait,” he said, “where’s Pinkie?” The Mayor, Twilight, and Spike scanned the crowd for the pink pony. Normally she’d be the first pony to welcome anyone or anything into the town, so how could they miss her?
“Maybe she’s just late. She’s not a very practical pony.” Twilight’s words vanished in an even louder crashing thunder coming from the forest – a booming rumble powerful enough to send the purple mare and sever other ponies tumbling to the ground. As the townsponies tried to get back up again, they spotted a hooded figure galloping out of the forest, stumbling as it tried to stay upright amidst the quake. It was Zecora, clearly frightened and winded from a long sprint through the forest.
“Ponies, beware!” Zecora yelled to the gathered town. She tried to gather her breath and shout over the rumbling after-tremors, but she could hardly be heard. The ponies began to panic as the ground beneath them rose and shook like a cheap motel vibrating mattress. Twilight tried to make her way to the zebra shaman, but stumbled again under yet another rumble. “It’s-” Zecora tried to shout her warning one more time. She met with little success. Another tremor sent her to the ground. Twilight heard a deafening roar and looked up at the sky.
It was Pinkie – eighty stories high, towering over the landscape, weighing as much as a small mountain, but it was Pinkie Pie nonetheless. Her legs were as big as the palace towers in Canterlot, and as she rose above the horizon, her enormous head blotted out the sun. It was a terrifying sight. Several ponies present began to contemplate the incongruence of their looming deaths coming at the hooves of a giant, friendly, pink mare.
“Raaaaaa,” Pinkie roared, shaking every bit of matter around her, before cracking up in a giggle. Her voice, normally high-pitched and excited, was a low, distorted howl, like a walrus being force-fed a bassoon. As Pinkie giggled in throaty reverie, she stamped her hooves, sending another series of quakes through the forest and countryside.
“Haaaaaa haaaaaaa haaaaaa heeeee heeeee heeeee,” she giggled.
“Zecora, what in the name of Celestia is going on?” Twilight asked, shouting over the roar. Spike trembled on her back and held on for his life as they bounced on the quaking earth.
“Pinkie must have wandered through, the patch of poison joke so blue,” Zecora answered, struggling to stay upright, “I came upon her as she grew in size, and now she’s so big! It terrifies.”
Pinkie’s lowered her head – a cranium that easily dwarfed the town hall in size – to the pile of gifts arrayed in front of the woods. She opened her maw and extended her mammoth tongue, searching the pile for sweets. Ponies scattered, running away as best they could from the moist, rubbery monolith. Unable to effectively search the pile with her colossal lingua, Pinkie scooped up the entire pile and swallowed – cakes, fans, books, limited-edition lithographed plates and all. She groaned out what seemed to be a satisfied sound before beginning to move towards the town.
“Coooooommmme oooonnnn yoouuuuu guuuyyyssss,” she roared, “Paaaaaarrrtyyyyy aaaaaaattttttt mmmmyyyyyyyy pllaaaaacce!”
“Oh, dear Celestia, no!” The Cakes yelped in unison.
“Forget about your store,” the Mayor said, “She’s going to crush the whole town! We’ve got to do something.”
“I’ve got an idea,” Twilight said. “Mayor Mare, get the town to safety. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy, take all the pegasi to the lake. Rarity and Applejack, get a few strong ponies and meet Zecora and me at her cabin. We’re going to mix up the largest potion ever.”
---
Pinkie’s shadow cast all of Ponyville in darkness as she approached the town, her eyes dead-set on Sugarcube Corner and its tasty contents. With every step Pinkie took towards her target, the ground quaked and shook. Earth Pony architecture was always renowned for its sturdiness, and so surprisingly few buildings had fallen down. Despite the very severe jostling, the town remained pretty much intact. That all changed as Pinkie reached the town itself, however. Her immense front-left hoof brushed the town hall’s spire, knocking it to the ground.
“Ooooooooppsssieeeessss,” Pinkie said, giggling a little as she spoke. She carefully placed her hoof down in the town square before returning her attention to Sugarcube Corner. She lowered her head to the building, carefully ripping off its roof with her hoof before sticking her giant tongue into the shop, once again searching for treats. In the shadow of her enormous belly, the members of the Ponyville Volunteer Fire Department huddled behind the Town Hall.
“Hold you positions, fireponies.” Big Mac’s voice was soft but stern. He and the other ponies of the PVFD were the only ponies left in the town, charged with protecting it from the rampage of the colossal pink party pony. As Twilight explained, Pinkie could easily accidentally spark a fire, and so they were needed to keep any blazes from engulfing whatever parts of the town survived Pinkie’s party. And, right then, the part of the town most in danger was the Cakes’ bakery. “We’ve got to protect Sugarcube Corner,” Big Mac said. His fellow fireponies nodded in agreement. The ponies of the PVFD moved out.
Peering through a set of binoculars, Twilight, Zecora, and the Mayor watched the scene from a nearby hill. The ponies had completed their preparations – while Pinkie was enormous, she was rather slow-moving; this gave the town ample time to finish their work. Applejack, Rarity, and their crew had gathered the necessary herbs in the forest and mixed them into the town’s reservoir, which Twilight had super-heated, allowing its contents to boil and cook. Now it was all up to the pegasi. Twilight nodded at Spike, who began waving a set of semaphore flags at the sky.
Rainbow Dash, flying in formation above the town, saw Spike’s flags. “That’s our signal, guys,” Rainbow Dash called out to her cohort of pegasi. Carrying buckets full of hot sauce in their jaws, Rainbow Dash’s mission was to drive Pinkie out of the town’s limits. Once outside, it would be safe for the other pegasi to hit Pinkie with a vortex of herbal bath potion, which would, they all hoped, shrink her back to a normal size.
“Follow me,” Rainbow Dash ordered. The flight of pegasi – Rainbow Dash, Thunderlane, Raindrops, and Cloud Kicker – swooped down and made their approach. Pinkie hardly noticed what were, to her, ponies the size of gnats buzzing around her rear, but as she began to feast on Sugarcube Corner’s contents, she also began to wag her tail in excitement.
“Watch out, Raindrops!”
Rainbow Dash’s warning was too late for the pony bringing up the rear. Raindrops’ eyes grew wide in horror as a huge, curly mass of hair bounced into view. She tried with all her might to pull up and avoid the tail, but it served too well as a trap for the young pegasus, and she collided with its nest of fibers, spilling the bucket of hot sauce all over her own body. She screamed in pain as the sauce reached her eyes, and she began to fall from the entangling web.
Raindrops tried to flap her wings, hoping to gain some traction once more and save herself from plummeting to her doom. But, blind and flailing in pain, she could only kick wildly against the air as she fell. Was this how she was going to meet her end – failing in a mission to stop that dumb pink pony from destroying the town? She pondered the question bitterly as she fell, almost accepting the inevitability of her demise when, suddenly, she felt something slam into her side and lift her up into the air.
“Gotcha! Another spectacular victory for Rainbow Dash.” The blue pegasus congratulated herself as she carried Raindrops away. Raindrops thanked her savior profusely as they flew away from the scene.
Over the town, Thunderlane and Cloud Kicker continued their flight, darting only a few feet over Pinkie’s back and neck as the approached her head, which was still intently searching Sugarcube Corner for sweet morsels of food.
“Get ready,” said Thunderlane. The two ponies prepared to release their buckets of hot sauce into each of Pinkie’s eyes.
Twilight, watching from the hill outside of town, worried slightly as she watched the two tiny black dots race across Pinkie’s figure. Would Pinkie forgive her for hurting her? She didn’t want to hurt her friend, but these were obviously extraordinary circumstances (circumstances, Twilight admitted, Pinkie didn’t seem to understand). Her anxiety disappeared as she saw the two dots fly right up to Pinkie’s eyes and then fly away again. Pinkie blinked a few times, and then reared up on her hind legs.
“Heeeeeyyyyyyy! Nooooootttt cooooooollllll, guuuuuuuyyysssssss!” she roared. She stamped her feet a few times and began to shake her head violently.
Big Mac and the rest of the PVFD scrambled to avoid Pinkie’s hooves. “Run!” Big Mac ordered, and the volunteers scattered in all directions. A hoof came crashing down not far from Big Mac’s position, sending everyone to the ground. Conscious that staying on the ground would only invite stomping, the fireponies quickly rose to their hooves and ran, abandoning their equipment.
Pinkie rose up on her back legs again and tried to rub her eyes with her front hooves. She stumbled backwards a few steps, taking out much of the south side of town, but she eventually cleared the town’s limits.
“Now, Spike,” Twilight commanded her assistant, and Spike once again set to work with his flags. The pegasi at the town reservoir, now being led by Rainbow Dash once more, immediately understood and began to fly in a large circle around the lake. Within moments, a small vortex began to suck the lake’s herbal bath contents out.
“Charge!” Rainbow Dash shouted, and the pegasi began guiding their vortex towards their giant pink target. The swirling cyclone of herbal potion arced across the Ponyville sky before landing on Pinkie’s face. The giant pony immediately began to shrink. A great cheer went up amongst the ponies of Ponyville – the pink menace was defeated.
---
Pinkie and Twilight sat in the Ponyville hospital, waiting for the doctor to finish his evaluation of Pinkie. All things considered, the clean-up effort was going better than expected. It wasn’t really any worse than the Parasprite incident, and everyone agreed that since Pinkie saved the town that one time, they probably owed her a do-over. That didn’t really settle the issue in Twilight’s mind, however.
“So why did you do it, Pinkie? What in Equestria got into you?”
“I dunno, Twilight. I went out for a nice little midnight stroll in the forest, and then all of a sudden I was huge. And you know what they say: ‘The bigger they are, the harder they party.’ So I thought everyone would want to celebrate me being the biggest party pony in Equestria.”
“Pinkie, you almost destroyed the town. And I’ve never heard anyone use that expression ever.”
Pinkie just smiled at Twilight. Well, at least no one got hurt (except for Raindrops, and no one really knew her, anyways), Twilight thought. It could have gone much, much worse.
The doctor entered the examination room and held up a black film. “Well, Miss Pie, I’ve found out why your stomach is upset.” He attached the x-ray photo to a viewer. Twilight gasped, but Pinkie began to giggle once again.
The image showed Pinkie’s stomach, and inside was a tiny stove, as well as several fans, books, and plates – consumed, apparently, when Pinkie scarfed down her “presents” and the contents of Sugarcube corner, and fortunately shrunk down when the herbal bath cured Pinkie of her affliction.
“At least it didn’t burst her stomach,” Twilight sighed. But Pinkie could only giggle. What a fun party she had!