All eyes were glued on the large veteran sitting in the booth beside Wanderer, a smile plastered on his face. Sir Ox Berry was obviously ecstatic to be able to tell his tale first. I couldn’t blame the poor fella. After all, he was obviously already a little tipsy, and before long I assumed he would be too drunk to form complete sentences.
The Minotaur raised his arm high and cheered, “Before I begin my story, allow me to wish you all the best of luck! You’re all going to need it!” In an instant, his smile faded and his muscles relaxed. His cheery demeanor was replaced by the familiar depressed attitude we had all come to know.
Wanderer took a sip from his salty dog, a frown growing on his face. Over the years, the two veterans had developed a bond that almost magically left them empathetic of the other. I could tell from the look on the stallion’s face that he had already heard whatever tale Sir Ox was about to tell. I readied myself for the saddest possible war story.
“As most of you are aware, I was once a great soldier back home. In fact, I was the greatest general in all of the Motherland. I was renown all over the land, and every young boar dreamed of being as great as me.” A smile flashed across his face as he remembered all of the admirers he once had.
…
Minotaurs and Griffons are proud people. If you don’t work within the higher-ups, the odds of you knowing any disheartening news are slim. That is until it bites you on the buttocks. I doubt any of you ponies would know about this, but a small war erupted between the Minotaur Motherland and the Griffon Empire. It only lasted a few years, but those years brought about the death of the Griffon royalty…and the loss of my ability to fight.
The war started over a land feud between the Griffon and Minotaur leaders. A small island in the sea between our homelands was home of several hundred tons of precious minerals. Both kingdoms wanted to own the island and the resources within, and that is how our lands came to war. What started as a battle for resources escalated quickly into a full blown war to destroy the opposing faction. Many battles were fought, but none were quite as important as the final fight of the war.
Our tsar had spent countless hours planning out a forward assault into the heart of the Griffon Empire, and formulated a perfect strategy to invade the capitol and tear the royal family apart. He assumed that if we took out the royalty, then morale would surely fall in the troops, and we would have an unconditional surrender. For the most part, he was correct.
I was the general in charge of the assault on the capitol, and we carried only our finest soldiers to the battlefield. During a previous battle at sea, we had confiscated a Griffon ship. We docked on the southern edge of the Griffon lands, and trekked our ways right into the heart of the capitol. Of course we received resistance, but a few town guards were nothing against our joined might.
It wasn’t until we stormed the castle that we faced true resistance. The royals had left their greatest warriors to protect them from an inevitable attack. The fun began once my comrades and I destroyed the front gates to the castle. Without a moment to spare, we were charged by a swarm of Griffon soldiers. I hardly considered such weak birds worth my time, and so I swatted them aside like flies. My mission was to execute the king and capture the princess, and I was determined to fulfill my mission.
As we entered the grand hall to the castle, we found another hundred warriors of varying ranks waiting for us on the upper balconies, as well as hidden behind the pillars and statues. We powered through each of the birds one by one, until only a few remained. The grand hall was filled with the corpses and injured bodies of Griffons and Minotaurs, but our mission still stood. Despite how outnumbered we were and our casualties, we resolved to see our objective out until the end.
I assumed that, by this time, the royalty would have been evacuated from the throne room and taken to another wing of the castle, so I split my force into equal groups. My group would be in charge of finding and binding the princess, whereas the other groups were to scour the halls and find evidence of evacuation. Without complaint, my comrades set out on their mission.
I guided my team through the halls of the castle, fighting a Griffon strike team every once in a while, but mostly unopposed. We continued through the halls without fear, and eventually stumbled upon what was assumed to be the princess’s chambers. As we approached the door, panels on the ceiling of the hall snapped to pieces as soldiers dressed in silver armor crashed down around us. I was unsure at the time whether it was an ambush or a coincidence, but my comrades wasted no time in retaliating.
The dozen Minotaurs who followed me initiated the battle. My comrades were unsuspecting of the might of these birds. Their armor kept any fatal blows from landing, and their speed far surpassed our bulky physiques. For several minutes we fought, useless, against the ambushing soldiers. However, that silver armor weighed heavy upon their shoulders, and fatigue swallowed them much faster than it did us. An opening appeared in their ranks, and I seized the opportunity to charge at the princess’s chambers.
While my comrades covered my back and held off the soldiers, I tackled through the large oak doors and found myself in the middle of a finely decorated room. Alas, I was not alone. Although my soldiers were still holding off the attacking force from the previous hall, another brigade of soldiers stood stock-still in a half-circle in front of me, their weapons drawn and aimed directly at me. Soldiers with swords, spears, and arrows all found themselves poised to advance.
The doors slammed hard behind me as a particularly large Griffon entered the room. With a smug smile on his face, he circled around me, knowing he clearly had the advantage. He stopped in front of the rest of his soldiers before chuckling, “You are an ignorant boar.”
The soldiers behind him let out a collective laugh. I groaned, “Ignorant, perhaps. But at least I am no coward, like you.”
I took the second of silence to see who this larger Griffon was. His feathers were red, and he was suited in a thick golden armor unlike his comrades. His eyes had an unnerving brown glow in them as he continued to circle the room.
He roared, “You have some nerve calling me a coward! Sure, we planned an ambush. And yes, we evacuated our dear princess. But our king is, at this very moment, slaughtering your little piggies in the throne room!” The soldiers burst into laughter at the thought of their king’s victory.
I simply grinned and sighed, “You truly believe that, don’t you? It doesn’t matter how powerful your king is as long I survive. No soldier has ever bested me in a duel.” I lifted my axe high in the air as if to show my superiority.
The Griffon General laughed, “Oh really? Then allow me to be the first.” He waved a claw at his soldiers, who immediately leapt back and dropped their weapons on the ground. He stepped forward with his beak curved into a grin. He slowly reached a claw to his side, and with one swift movement he advanced.
He drew a sword in his dominant claw as he darted toward me. With barely a second to think, I rolled out of the way and swung my axe at the bird. His attack landed on the floor where I had previously been standing, and the blade of my axe crashed down onto his golden armor immediately after. I crawled to my hooves and lifted the weapon high above my head, readying for another swing.
The blow stunned the Griffon General, leaving him open for a fatal blow. Just as I was about to send the axe down with all my might, the doors to the room burst open, with several of my comrades collapsing on the ground just within the doorway. Their hands and hooves were bound by thick cuts of rope, and their snouts were stuffed into metallic muzzles. Before me lay the embarrassed figures of my kingdom’s elite soldiers. I hesitated to swing my axe as a few other Griffons poured into the room behind my comrades.
My hesitation allowed the general to recover from the first blow, and he once again lunged at me. In my ignorant stupor I never noticed the bird get off of the ground. By the time I realized he was attacking, it was already too late. With a powerful leap, the Griffon launched himself into the air and began a small nose-dive right at me. His sword extended, the general made direct contact to me. The instant his blade sliced my flesh, an intense burning filled the entire right side of my body.
I noticed blood spurt off to the side. I immediately put the pieces together, and a raging flame ignited in my heart. I swung my only remaining arm with all the might I could muster up. Spinning in nearly a complete circle with my axe, I made direct contact to the bird’s chest, sending him flying into a nearby dresser. Under the force of the general’s weight, the furniture collapsed to pieces, the mirror shattering and coating the entirety of the Griffon’s exposed flesh, including his eyes.
With blood trickling from his wounded senses, the Griffon let out a yelp of pain. He scrambled around to find his weapon, then immediately charged in the direction of my last heard battle roar. With a missing arm and a surely shattered hand, I resorted to one final defense. I dropped to the ground with my head lifted high, making sure I was angled so that my horns were reaching out further than any other body part.
Unable to see the trap, the general continued his charge. Faster than I could capture it, he rammed directly into my head, numbing my senses. I heard a faint scream of agonizing pain from the beak beside my ears, and I could hear the metal of his sword collide with the other mirror in the room. I felt an uncomfortable tightness wrap around my left horn, and a sharp stinging sensation shot through my body.
Before long, the general’s screaming stopped, and I felt his pulse cease. The muscles wrapped around my horn loosened, and the bird became even heavier on me as he became nothing but dead weight. Around this time my senses recovered. I was able to take in the sight of all the Griffon soldiers cheering their general on, thinking he may back away any second to reveal my death.
I savored their unknowing expressions for a minute or two before deciding it was time to end the charade. I slowly moved my right arm and shoved the bird’s body with all my might. With a loud cracking sound, he went flying into the remains of the dresser from before, limp and dead. An intense jolt of electricity shot through my being, and I collapsed on the ground writhing in pain.
All of the Griffon soldiers crowded around the corpse of their general, not willing to accept that they had lost their finest soldier. They turned to me and drew their weapons. I was certain they were going to end my life in that instant. I suppose luck was on my side that day, however. A bloodied and battered Griffon limped into the room carrying a small golden locket in his claw.
“Our king…has fallen…” The messenger managed to choke out those words before falling dead on the ground.
Hearing those words suddenly numbed my pain, and I scrambled to my hooves. I watched as all the soldiers dropped their weapons again and darted from the room. Tears and panic filled their eyes and voices as they screamed defeat. I took the golden locket from the messenger and proceeded to unbind my comrades. With a round of cheers, they congratulated me on my honorable victory against the Griffon General. Then they pointed out that I was missing a horn.
My own injuries were the least of my concerns at the time. I commanded them to scour the castle to look for any straggling Griffons or surviving Minotaurs. As they did so, I proceeded to exit the castle and send word to our tsar that the mission had been a success; all aside from the princess’s supposed escape. The last thing I remember doing before returning to the Motherland was releasing the messenger pigeon. Everything between that and the medical facility is a big blank.
…
“It was announced that the Griffon Princess was found dead just outside the city limits a few days later. The war was also officially concluded with the Motherland receiving the small island that started the whole conflict. An honoring ceremony was held a week later, and I received awards for commanding the final battle, my injuries, and the death of the king.” Sir Ox Berry chugged down the tall mug of whisky I had poured him during his tale.
The patrons of the bar had an air of depression and excitement floating about them. I heard a collective sigh of interest pour from their mouths as Sir Ox finished his story. The rest was pretty obvious to most of us, so I doubted he would tell it. When the Minotaur ordered another salty dog, I knew his story was over. A round of applause erupted after he had released his concluding sigh. Wanderer slapped a hoof to the back of the brute, as if to tell him it was an amazing tale.
“That was quite depressing, I dare say. Does anypony happen to have a more cheerful tale to tell?” Miss Violet raised a handkerchief to her eyes to wipe away the tears that I didn’t believe existed. Her patronization was a little irritating to me, but I did agree that we needed a happier story.
I nodded and cheered, “C’mon, get yourselves together! This is a contest, not a pity-fest! Get on with the stories!” As much as I had complained earlier, I was beginning to feel that this contest could turn out to be a nice change of pace around the Shady Trough.
I felt a lump form in my throat as a longing voice whispered, “I think I have a nice story for all you ponies…” I watched as Caitiff stepped up on stage, Scourge dragging a chair over to her. The mystifying mare made a small scour over the patrons of the bar, a grin growing on her face.
Perhaps it was just my imagination, but I was certain her eyes started to glow a bright crimson red. I chuckled, “Oh dear Celestia save us all! The barmaid’s got a story!” She sent me a mock-smile as I turned to pour her a mug for her thirst while she spoke.
Caitiff shifted slightly in the chair, attempting to get comfortable. I felt a sense of curiosity manifest in my mind as I approached her with the mug of cider. She nodded in thanks and took a small sip before handing the mug to her follower.