//------------------------------// // Acceptance // Story: The Fallen Pegasus // by Lulamoon-Crystal //------------------------------// “Why Thunder!?” Zoom screamed as she sobbed into her hooves. Her gut hurt more as she stared into the water. Her tears creating droplets. She had to force herself to get but up, but she felt too weak to move any further and just flopped back down. The water rising and falling from the bank soaked her tail as she curled it in next to her. Her breathing began rapid as she thought about Thunder. Wishing she could have done something, she began sniffling as tears fell. Her voice shook as thoughts rushed through her mind at once. Remembering every detail, more than she wanted to. “W-why?” She chocked as her muscles tensed as she let out a gasp. Having a flashback of the hit. The blood. Tears came down her face like waterfalls. She couldn’t stop sobbing like crazy. Water calmly washed against her as she curled up on the bank, trying her best to calm down. Trying to take deep breaths in and out. She could feel her tears still falling and her heart racing. She needed to calm down. She tried to focus on other things. Like the birds singing, leaves on the trees rustling and the water flowing. But she couldn’t. It was too hard. When she closed her eyes, she only pictured the flashback. Thunder was gone. She sobbed hard, glad no one would be able to hear or see her like this. The water gently washed up against her, a little higher this time. As of it was reaching for her muzzle as it rested in her hooves. No matter how hard she tried. She could not stop feeling broken. After she had calmed herself down a bit, she sat up, water running down her chest. She couldn’t stay like this forever. She missed him too much, but she had to keep going. In the distance, she saw storm clouds. There was a storm coming. She didn’t really want to be in it. Groaning, she got up, belly soaked completely. Her tail was dripping. After wiping tears from her eyes, she decided to fly into the sky. But didn’t have the motivation or mood to fly. It was like something was holding her down, almost like gravity. She wanted to fly but couldn’t get herself to do it. Her grief was too heavy. She just wanted to lay there and wait for some wild animal to eat her. But she knew she could not. She had to keep going. It’s what Thunder would have wanted. Besides, the royal family needed her. Looking into the distance, she could see the mountain Zephyr Heights was in, the kingdom glimmering above the clouds. As a single drop of water plopped on her head, slid off her helmet and onto her muzzle. She knew it was time to return to the kingdom. She forced herself to start walking, hooves dragging across the grass. Just wishing Thunder was by her side. Thunder would be cracking a joke at this moment. Saying something like “Look at the thunder zooming in!” He’d joke before getting inside. There was even a time where on a patrol before pegasi could fly. They had been walking just outside of the town before it started bucketing down with rain. They were both completely soaked when they got back to the palace. Zoom was not amused at all, but Thunder just laughed it off. The queen was not even mad, either. She was the only one who had not found a single bit of amusement in that incident. Till now. When more drops of water hit her back, she started to hurry, breaking into a gallop as the rain caught up to her. She didn't want to be here anymore. She ran fast as he hooves could carry her. The rain was coming, but she seemed to not have been going fast enough as she felt herself slam her hoof into a puddle. Finding the courage, she raised her wings and flew away from the incoming rain. Well, it had caught up, much to her luck. Raining upon her as she groaned. Hoping it was not a thunder storm, she’d hate to go out like this. Once back in the palace, Zoom dragged her soaked hooves home. In the guard quarters in the palace. Once she got inside her own room, she took off her helmet, allowing her short purple mane to drop down. Slightly messy, but it did not matter. She shivered from the chill, feeling rather cold. Emotionally and physically. She proceeded to put her helmet where she usually puts it, on top of a set of drawers. Droplets dripping down onto the wooden drawers. Her mane was ruffled slightly as she looked into a mirror after taking off her chest plate. It was also a bit damp from rain running through the ear holes in her helmet.  Her mane was a mess… No surprise. Her home was kinda special, not many royal guards got to live where she did. The palace was basically right outside her door. Thunder had his own room as well... That would possibly be emptied by his family and friends before maybe being given to somepony else. Or staying vacant. The Queen wasn’t too far away from where she was. Basically a little area in the palace for the guards lucky enough to have their own place to stay in the huge palace. Like apartments! Each room was like a small apartment. The main room, where there were a TV and cupboards, another small room for anything, a bedroom and a small kitchen with a table, microwave, small fridge, stove, oven, sink, and some cupboards. There was, of course, a bathroom too! She glumly plopped down on her couch. A tear escaped her face as put it in her hooves, chest rapidly moving as she let out small sobs. Wanting to hold him one more time, to feel his emerald green fur. To hear his voice. Even if he was saying something stupid. “Th-thunder” She choked. "Wh-" She could not finish talking. Her heart was racing as she felt about what happened. Her heart hurt as she laid on her couch. She just finished watching a film. Only two hours since she got home from near the lake. She had watched a comedy but felt nothing but empty inside. Zoom groaned, she was only home at this time on days off. Sometimes she had her spend the whole night in the palace. While some days she didn’t get home till late at night. She never got sent home early. The pain of loosing Thunder was still in her heart. She felt her emotions start when she looked at a picture of him that she had on the wall. A painting for her he had made by himself for a birthday gift. She felt the tears come back. They would not stop, would they? She stared at it for a bit, admiring his work. But soon she felt a tear reach her muzzle and wiped it away. Since she was home, she decided to have a shower. So she grabbed a towel and headed there, feeling tired and hurt. She got in the shower, turning it on. Water soaked her fur and mane. Nice and swarm, letting up some warm steam. All she could think about was Thunder... But the water running down her body was soothing in a way. Letting the water run off her wings and coat. Her mane was soon soaked and flopped, dripping down onto the shower floor. She was relaxed. Finally. Letting out some deep sighs, just focussing on the water. It pelteed against her head, feeling so soothing. So warm comoared to tye freezing rain from earlier. She had narrowly escaped it. But she also felt angry. Why did Izzy put on that necklace!? Why did she have to use her horn!? Why did Zoom not stop Thunder from going with his plan!? If she stopped him, would he still be here? She stomped the ground, feeling some tears come out of her eyes. But letting them, no one was gonna see. She wanted this to be all over! Thunder was gone. We wasn’t coming back. But she had to remain strong! Days had gone by... Izzy was mostly quiet. Not saying much to her friends or doing much crafting. They tried everything, until they simply decided to give her some more alone time. She had said it multiple times that she felt like a monster. They tried their best and would not give up on her. The news of Thunder’s death shook Equestria. Even those who don’t live in Zephyr Heights were shocked. Because they still knew who he was due to Pipp’s live streams and just him and Zoom being the guards that travel with Queen Haven when needed. Zoom was quiet during her shifts. Despising Izzy and herself as time went on. The more she hid her grief and pain, the worse she felt afterwards. But she needed to hide them... She needed to be strong. The night before the funeral. Zoom came home and put her guard gear on the ground. Then she went on her bed and just flumped down. Tears rolling down here face, and she thought of Thunder. The pain was more than she ever felt before. “Why was I so stupid!?” She cried out. “Why?” She sobbed, soon wiping her eyes, but the tears kept coming. Queen Haven told her to let it all out and not bottle it up. If she was right about it being easier to just let it all out, why didn’t she listen? Zoom just thought of herself as a weakling now. A filly crying over nothing. But Thunder meant a lot to her. She wanted this pain to go. So why wasn't it going? Why did it hurt so much? Before she knew it, she was asleep. Dreaming. She found herself on a cliff, overlooking a valley. She didn’t know where she was, but she felt... Peaceful, a smile was on her face as she looked at the view. Soon, gasping as she heard a familiar voice. Once she thought she’d never hear again. “Zoom!” “Thunder?” Zoom responded, confused. Then she gasped, smiling as she saw Thunder standing nearby. Then she stopped smiling, realising this is a dream. “It’s me, Thunder!” Thunder said happily. Zoom’s sad expression didn’t change. Zoom looked down at the ground, sadly. “No... Y-you’re not Thunder. Y-You’re-Th-thunder is... is dead, not coming back... This is a dream. You’re just of my imagination...” She sniffled as a tear appeared. “He’s gone...” Thunder stared at her in sorrow, a few tears appearing on his own face. Pain filled him as he looked at Zoom. Never seeing her like this. “I know... I-I died... But it’s really me, Zoom! R-remeber that ancient alicorn we were told about. That Pipp and Zipp spoke about? Two ancient royal sisters. The younger one entered dreams of those who needed help?” Thunder asked with a smile. “I... I met her...” Zoom gasped slightly, remembering Zipp discuss it with Pipp. They were reading an old book that the late Argyle Starshine must have collected from old ruins or something. “Oh yeah!” She exclaimed, “What was her name again? Princess Luna?” Thunder nodded and looked at her. “I know it’s been hard for you. It’s been hard for me too... I know you miss me so much. It pains me that we’re separated. But life has to go on, Zoom. You told me this yourself, back when I broke that vase Haven liked and I felt really bad. Zoom... You can’t mourn me forever... That isn’t gonna help you recover...” “B-But.” Zoom wiped her face. “It’s my fault that you’re gone! I should have s-stopped you! Izzy murdered you b-because if me!” Thunder softly put a hoof on Zoom’s shoulder. “It’s not your fault. Or Izzy’s...” Thunder then sighed, “Being angry with her or yourself won’t bring me back. I don’t hold any grudges against any of you, because I was just doing what I felt was right.  I-I was scared, but It’s a royal guard’s duty to protect and serve, so that’s what I did...” He looked at her sadly. “Even... E-even if I was killed.” Zoom tried to wipe some tear. He then spoke again. “I think crying is tough. Nothing wrong with that, right? You’re one of the toughest pegasi I know. Maybe even the toughest guard, nothing's gonna change that. Especially not some tears. I don’t think they’re something to be afraid of...” She looked at him, sniffling in sadness. “Thunder...” “You’re gonna get through this, Zoom. I know you will.” He said with a slight smile. He was slowly disappearing. “Thunder?” Zoom said in shock. Thunder gasped as he looked at himself. “Guess my time is up... Luna said that I wouldn't have that long...” Thunder looked at himself and sighed. “Zoom... forgive Izzy for me, okay? And yourself. Remember, you are tough, some emotions aren’t gonna change that!” Then he sighed, tears flowing. “I miss you so much...” “B-but... will we see each other again?” Zoom asked. “I don’t think so... Princess Luna said this dream ability should only be used when necessary... It’s harder when a dead pony visits a living one in a dream...” “No!” She shouted in horror. “Please don’t go!” “Zoom... stay strong for me... Okay?” “No... Thunder...” Zoom hugged Thunder, who was surprised as a result. He was crying, “Goodbye Zoom, enjoy the future of Zephyr Heights for me, okay?” “Th-thank you, Thunder,” Zoom said softly as he started to vanish.“Farewell, Thunder...” She saluted to him as her vanished. A tear appearing in her eye. The day of Thunder’s funeral came... The royal family, friends and every royal guard attended. Zoom seemed the most hurt during the funeral. Her voice cracked in sadness when she went up to do her speech. A few tears appeared, she didn’t seem worried about them this time. Izzy’s heart ached as she saw the casket, this was her doing. If it weren’t for her, then no one would be here. Thunder would be alive. Izzy was quiet the whole time. Feeling bad for Thunder, he didn’t deserve this at all. She knew that royal guards all accepted that one day they might need to fight to protect. There might be injury or death. But she still killed a pony, it wasn’t directly. But she felt like a monster. After the funeral, Izzy sat at his resting place. Looking at the picture on his gravestone sadly. Tears came once again. “Thunder... I’m so sorry! I’m so, so sorry!” She cried, “I never meant this to happen, I-I never wanted to hurt anypony! Or kill them! This is all my fault. I never should have done what I did.” the tears were uncontrollable.“I’m so sorry. I don’t blame you if you won’t forgive me. I’m so sorry, Thunder...” After what felt like minutes of sobbing. She heard someone land next to her and put a wing around her. She gasped as she looked at who it was. She made a slight surprised gasp. “Z-Zoom?” She questioned, wondering what she was doing here. Then she remembered, she must have been in the way, of course she’d want to see his grave. He was so close to her. “Zoom! I-I’m so sorry, I-“ ”It wasn’t your fault...” Zoom said sadly as she looked at the gravestone. “Thunder also knows. He wouldn’t hold a grudge against you. Neither do I...” Izzy was a bit surprised at what she said. “Y-you’re not mad at me?” She still felt like an absolute monster. But what Zoom said... It’s what everypony kept saying, but she still hurt. But is it true? Zoom sighed a little. “I admit I was a bit at first... Thunder was my friend for a long time... But when both of us became royal guards, we accepted the fact there might be a day the two of us separate. He did his duty. He was so brave, but it’s just... What happened, we can’t change the past. I was upset at you at first, Izzy. But being angry at you won’t bring Thunder back or help me with my future duties. It’s hard, it hurts and that will stay a while, but we still have to go on. It’s what he would have wanted...” Izzy looked at Zoom, tears rolling down her eyes. Then suddenly, she gave her one big hug, sobbing loudly. Zoom wasn’t a fan of hugs, but she allowed her. The pain was still there, in them both. But she was right. We cannot dwell on the past forever, or we won’t heal. Things will hurt us in life, but it will hurt less over time. The pain is different for everyone, and that’s okay! She then looked at the gravestone. If Thunder didn’t come up with that plan, then... Would the outcome have been worse? Maybe... “Thank you, Thunder...” Izzy said quietly.