//------------------------------// // Man // Story: Man // by RunicTreetops //------------------------------// "I will admit, when Princess Twilight wrote to me and said that her human friend was going to be coming through the mirror, I, uh, didn't really expect... this." Sunset Shimmer, the mare that Twilight has told you so much about, looks at you with a sheepish expression. "I have to agree. The other me probably should have mentioned this, er, little detail." The human Twilight forces a smile, but is quite clearly uncomfortable. "Look, I didn't know that this would happen either, but in hindsight, I probably should have seen it coming." At least, that's what you try to say. Instead, all that comes out of your mouth is "WHIIIIIIIIIINGMGMGGMHMHMHMHM." You know. Because you're a horse. You've never been more angry at Twilight before. You would be fuming, but all you're really doing is awkwardly stomping one of your front hooves on the pavement below you. You've been living in Equestria for a couple of years now. Freak accident and all that. Being a human in a world of ponies was an adjustment, but you eventually made yourself comfortable. That doesn't mean you don't still feel like an outsider sometimes, but it's not so bad, really. However, you would be lying if you said that you never missed being able to talk to other humans like you. Then, this morning, your good friend Princess Twilight Sparkle made a suggestion. "It's called the Crystal Mirror. On the other side of it is another world, and it's filled with alternate versions of pretty much everypony we know. They attend a school called Canterlot High, but most importantly, they're all humans!" "Humans?" "Right! My friend Sunset Shimmer lives over there, but she's originally a pony from Equestria. I can write to her in this magic journal whenever I want. If you'd like, I can give her a heads up and you can pop on through for a visit after classes end." "Wow, Twilight. That's... really nice of you. Thank you, I think I'd like that." "It's really no problem, so long as she's okay with it!" "I do have one question though." "What's that?" "I've been stuck as the only human in Equestria for years, and you never thought to tell me about this until NOW?!" "...Uhh, hehe. Oops." Thus, you waited for Sunset's response. To no one's surprise, she was more than willing to wait for your arrival on the other side. Without hesitation, you leapt through that mirror, eager to see what awaited you on the other side. Then you landed on all fours. And all of those fours were hooves. No, not cute pony hooves. HORSE hooves. Like. HORSE horse. You know, the type you would have seen years ago in your original world? Thus, you find yourself as a horse awkwardly standing in front of a high school surrounded by teenagers. And Sunset. Seriously, why does she look like that? Isn't she in, like, her late 20's, early 30's at this point maybe? Your tail swishes around on instinct. You have to move your big stupid head to the side any time you want to look at someone due to your big stupid horse eyes. "Are... are you trying to say something to us?" "Of course I am, Sunset! If this is what I have to look like on this side of the portal, I'd rather just go home!" But of course, all you really say is "MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMGHHGGHHGYGHYGHGHYHGHG." Sunset turns to look at the human Twilight. "Should we take that as a yes?" "I'm not sure. I was under the impression that he would be a human." "...Well, I guess now that I think about it, we turn into ponies when WE go through the mirror. And Princess Twilight turns into a human when she comes here, so..." "Okay, but he's not a pony. Especially not an Equestrian one like you. He's a horse, which, for all intents and purposes, is a completely different species." "Why, though?" "Because I'm not the same type of human as you. The humans where I'm from don't have purple skin or shoot magical rainbow beams when they play music." Yet again, you remember that you should stop trying to say anything, as what you actually say is "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEMHMHMHMHMMHMHMH." "I, uh, I guess it doesn't matter either way, does it?" You turn your dumb horse head to look at her again. Your horse nose itches, and you instinctively stick out your long horse tongue and rub it all over your horse face. Sunset tries to look you in the eye, but obviously finds it strange to do so. "Well, I was hoping to show you around Canterlot High and whatnot, but... I'm not sure we'll be able to get you through the door. Plus, I doubt Principal Celestia would be happy with us letting a horse into her school." A new voice speaks up from behind Sunset and Twilight. They both turn around as the person speaking approaches the three of you. "I wouldn't be happy about what, exactl- that's a horse." "Ah, Principal Celestia!" "Sunset Shimmer, Twilight Sparkle, why is there a horse on school grounds?" As Sunset and Twilight turn around once again to look at you, you finally get a good look at the new figure. With hair like that and the fact that she is obviously a grown woman unlike these two, it's pretty clear that she is this world's version of Princess Celestia. Woah mama. Humina humina awooga. She approaches you, staring you right in the big dumb horse eye. She briefly glances at the statue you just came out of, then back at you, raising an eyebrow as she does so. "Good heavens, Ms. Celestia. I already had a very high opinion of you, but may I say that you are more beautiful than I could have possibly imagined?" Yeah you don't actually say that, idiot. Instead, you make a huffing noise and accidentally spit in her face. She brings a sleeve to her face to wipe off the unexpected fluids before looking at you with a quiet fury. "I-I'm sorry Principal Celestia! He's a human on the other side! We didn't know this would happen!" "Hm. Well, either way, as much as I would like to offer our guest a warm welcome, I doubt that this was the expected outcome for anyone. I suggest sending him back home." Twilight responds with a nervous voice. "O-of course, Principal Celestia!" "Good. Do try to avoid making a mess while you do so, won't you?" She begins to walk away, but briefly stops to turn around and say one last thing to you. "I'm sorry your introduction to Canterlot High turned out like this. I suppose that's just how the dice fall sometimes, hm?" She gives you a forced smile and continues walking away. No wait come back you're like the prettiest woman I've ever seen don't leave me here please- "Well, we can't exactly go against Principal Celestia's wishes. Uh, sorry about all of this. We didn't even get to have a single conversation. Since, you know. Horse mouth." "You know, Sunset, I'm starting to not like any of you very much." Of course, all you actually did was whinny. "Alright, let's get you back to Equestria." Sunset and Twilight do their best to turn you around, you try to do the same, but your big dumb horse body doesn't move that easily. Once you all finally manage to get you facing the statue you came out of, an obviously problem presents itself. You're a bit big to be walking through that. Wait, how did you even come through it in the first place? "Do you, uh... do you think you can crouch?" You turn to look at Twilight with one of your horse eyes. You like to think you're giving her an annoyed look, but it's hard to tell because you are a horse. Man. The next few minutes are spent attempting to get your massive horse body to the ground. You can sort of get on your belly, but you can't really move forward through the statue. It isn't until a bunch of random high schoolers show up and start working together to push you forwards that you begin to move. Getting slid forcefully along the pavement is excruciatingly painful, and yet you can't seem to vocalize more than a frustrated exhale from your big dumb horse nose. Finally, your front half makes it through the statue, carrying the weight of your back half with it. Sunset and Twilight both clap their hands together and exhale. "Well, that was weird." "You're telling me." When next you open your eyes, you realize that you're lying on your back. You sit up and start feeling yourself. Let's see... chest? Check. Head? Check. Handsome, not-dumb human face? Checkaroony. You're human again. You bring yourself to your feet, only to see the pony Twilight running up to you. "You're back already? That was fast. How did it go? Did you get along with Sunset Shimmer?" You narrow your eyes. Without a word, you bend down to meet Twilight at eye level. "Wh-what's up?" You remain silent. In one motion, you quickly grab Twilight by the horn and lift her into the air. "Wh-what are you doing?!" Twilight shouts as you chuck her small pony body through the mirror. You huff as you walk out of the room. Well. That was stupid.