//------------------------------// // Chapter 5: A Pleasant City (E)scape // Story: An Idiot Trio vs Equestria // by Beast Out //------------------------------// Silica let out a sigh of content. She lay on her couch in her true form, her spouse draped on top of her. His name was Passion Project, a navy-blue pegasus with a black mane and amber eyes, his cutie mark depicting a protractor and pencil. They'd known each other for nine years, he'd known her nature as a changeling for six and they'd been married for five, her under the guise of the glass making pegasus, Silica Soul. Passion snuggled closer. "Something on your mind babe?" She let out a small trill as her back sunk deeper into his fur. "Nah. Just… happy to be back." "Bet I know how to make you even happier~." His voice took on a teasing tone. "Ooooh~! What is it~?" "I got those Zebrican chocolates you like.~" Silica twisted underneath him so that they were chest to chest and stared at him with a smirk and half lidded eyes. "Passion Junkyard Project, are you trying to seduce me?" She practically purred. The stallion lightly kissed her forehead, eliciting a giggle. "That depends. Is it working?"   "Maybe." Nervousness "Hey Silica." Irritation, sexual frustration "Dartz. It has been two weeks since I've seen my husband. What the hell do you want?" Nervousness, indignation, realization "Well, you know how we needed to get some info on the Crystal Empire?" Irritation, acceptance "What did you do?" Embarrassment "Archer was seen by the guards and now they're chasing after us, so we can't stay in Canterlot. We got a map for the Empire and made contact with Shining Armor though." Anger, disappointment, acceptance "But because you can't be here you need me to keep contact with him. Is that right?" Embarrassment, apologetic "Yeah…sorry." Passion watched his wife's eyes glow before she crawled out from under him, pacing up and down with her eye twitching dangerously and her wings buzzing in agitation. He did the smart thing and made sure the couch was between them. He loved her, but her temper could flare up in a very literal sense. "What's wrong dear?" She sighed. "One of my hivemates did something stupid and I'm the one stuck with damage control." "Oh." They couldn't carry on with their original plans since the mood had been brutally murdered in front of its family. But he still had one way to cheer her up. "You still want those chocolates?" Silica slumped onto the couch with a groan. "Baby, I think I need those chocolates right now." -2 minutes later- Dartz (pegasus form) rode atop Birch through the streets of the city, still in his pegasus form. The psychic conversation he'd had went about as well as he figured it would. But that wasn't important right now. He needed to get to their wagon. As they went along, he rubbed between Birch's ears. "This is a fine load of shit we're in." The wooden hound barked in agreement before picking up the pace. The place the wagon was parked wasn't far now. He just had to get there and they'd already be halfway to being home free.    The timberwolf weaved through the crowd, occasionally knocking the odd pony over, but they went ignored. Soon, they turned the right corner and were greeted by their parking spot. "Oh my god! Finally!" He pulled into the wagon station and stashed the map inside before quickly attaching Birch's harness. He wrapped the reins around his hooves and let out a large sigh. "Let's go dog!" -Meanwhile- Kindle walked with Spike in tow, absentmindedly listening to the little dragon's tangent relating to his hobby, comic books.  "While most fans prefer the version of the Power Ponies "Broken Prism" arc that was written by Night Writer, I personally think the version penned twenty years prior by Silent Quill is superior. Though, I will admit, Night Writer gave the fight between Mane-iac and Hair Razor a certain flair the original lacked." Kindle nodded. "I think that's because in the Silent Quill version they fight the exact same way, while in the Night Writer version, Mane-iac's mane lashed around wildly and sporadically like living tendrils, while Hair Razor's moved in straight lines and sharp angles, wordlessly conveying that she was the more mentally stable of the two." "Wow." He stared up at her with mild surprise. "I guess only a small part of my brain really noticed that detail. I guess being able to show things without explaining them is one advantage comics have over other kinds of books." Kindle ruffled Spike's head frills with a smile. "Even when you're old and gray, never let anyone make fun of you for liking books with pictures in 'em." "Excuse me ma'am." The two fire lizards turned to see a guard (pegasus) walking toward them. "I'm going to have to ask you to come with me."  Kindle raised an eyebrow. "First of all, don't call me "ma'am". Second. What for? I don't think I've done anything illegal (lately)." The guard didn't seem amused. "Recently, two assailants broke into the castle. After asking around it seems that multiple witnesses have seen you with them before the crime took place."  "Oh. Shit." What'd those fools do now? The stallion raised his hoof to stop her."Miss, you're not in trouble, I just want to ask you the whereabouts of these individuals." She turned to Spike and handed the books she was holding back to him. "Alright then. Hey Spike, looks like this is where we part ways. Sorry kid." "It's fine. You wanna hang out again sometime?" "Sure man." She turned to the guard. "Hey, you wouldn't happen to be asthmatic would you?"  The pony tilted his head in confusion. "No. Why?" By the time he'd finished the word "Why" she'd taken a deep breath and blown a large cloud of smoke in his face and ran. "Sorry again Spike!" "Hey! *cough! Ack!* Get back here!" -Elsewhere- Archer watched a guard pass by the alley he was hidden in before bolting to the other side of the street, making sure to pass between large groups of ponies so as to not be seen from above. "Come on. How hard is it to find a purple dragon in a city full of technicolor horses?" A hoof on his shoulder interrupted his train of thought. "Don't know. How hard is it to find a griffin in a stupid hat?" Archer looked back to be greeted with the piercing gaze of Sure Fire, then looked down to see he was somehow already wearing cuffs. "Just my fuckin' luck, huh?" "What? Don't think you were caught by a skilled and capable guard?" "No, not really." "Mean." The guard stallion pouted. "Now, I think it's best if you return what you stole and tell me where your friend is. If you cooperate you might get off easy." "If I wanted to do that I'd go find a strip club. Besides, I don't even have the papers with me." Several other guards ran up and interrupted them. "Sir! A wagon being drawn by a timberwolf was sighted headed to the park!" Sure Fire turned to the griffin with a smug grin. "Just like what you came in on, right?" Archer tried and failed to facepalm. "Goddamn it." "Alright, follow me. I know a path we can use to cut 'im off." He turned his glare towards his captive. "And don't you even think about running away!" -Meanwhile-  Kindle ran through the crowded streets, mostly unobstructed by ponies who got out of her way upon noticing her. The crowd also prevented the pegasus guard that pursued her from simply dive bombing her. The dragoness looked ahead of herself, seeing that she was heading to a crossroad with a much thinner crowd than the rest of the street. "Alright, fuck it!" She picked up her pace and began to spread her wings in preparation to fly. The dragoness broke through the and jumped into the air, only to be grabbed by her tail and dragged down the street. Regaining her bearings, she realized that she was flying alongside the wagon she and her friend shared, being dragged through the air like a scaly kite by the green, glowing telekinetic grasp of Dartz (unicorn form). "Hey Kindle!" He promptly yanked her into the box seat to sit beside him. "Ya miss me?" He asked, flashing her an infectious grin. Kindle rolled her eyes fondly. "Not in the slightest." She looked behind them to see her pursuers disengage from the chase. "So what did you two do to get the Solar Patrol on our butts?" The"We got what we came for, but Archer got spotted." "Ahaha! All in favor of never letting him live this down, say aye!" "Aye!" "Aye!" "*bark!*" "Alright. So it was Archer's job to find you." He handed her the reins and crawled into the wagon through the window. "But since I found you first, we should wait for him in the park. We're almost there anyway." "Sounds good. But don't you think it's weird those guards stopped following us? Some of them were pegasi, keeping up with Birch shouldn't be a problem for them." Dartz pulled a spellbook from between the couch cushions and started leafing through its pages. "Guess that means we should be ready for a fight." He found the page he was looking for and began revising the spell he needed. "Anything interesting happen while we were gone?" "I met Spike. Really nice kid." "Really? Cool. I punched Shining Armor in the face." "Only you Dartz. Only you." -5 minutes later- "Hey Dartz. You ready to cast a Shadow Gate now?" "Yeah, I think I can manage." "Good, cuz we're gonna need it!" The changeling peaked out the window to see just what Kindle was talking about.  "Wow, that's a lot of guards. And Archer got caught!" Kindle grinned. "Ramming speed?" Dartz let a mad cackle fall from his lips. "For sure!" Just as Dartz said, a large group of guards all lined up to form a blockade in the path to the park, fully intent on stopping them in their tracks. On the other side of the barrier, Sure Fire turned to his captive, who now had his wings bound to his sides by a belt and smirked. "Here they come now. If they have even half a brain, they'll give themselves up." "Trust me. They somehow have way more and way less than that." The guard furrowed his brow in confusion. "That doesn't make any sense." Archer looked to the distance and watched as a green forcefield in the shape of a basic ramp formed in front of Birch, obviously intended to be used as a plow or battering ram of sorts. The timberwolf also seemed to be speeding up. "With those two involved, it doesn't need to." Sure Fire turned to the blockade to witness the other guards breaking formation to get out of the path of the charging timberwolf. Most succeeded, but a few unlucky ones got bowled over like dominos.  The griffin felt Dartz' magical grasp around his abdomen and was dragged into the wagon through its window, flipping the guardstallion off as he flew. Sure Fire stared in shock as the wagon sped off into the distance before regaining his composure. He glared at the scattered guards. "Well?! What are you foals standing around for?! AFTER THEM!" -Meanwhile- Dartz undid the straps around Archer's wings as the griffin picked the locks on his hand cuffs with one of his feathers. "You ok?" The changeling asked "Yeah, I'm good." "You two done back there?!" Kindle yelled from the driver's seat. "Cuz we got guards on our tail!" "Alright! Sheesh!" Dartz sat in the center of the wagon and started charging his horn. "I've always hated this next part." Kindle made Birch veer hard to the left to avoid a divebomb from a pegasus. "Daaaaaaartz!" "I'm working on it!" Archer stuck his head through the window and saw the ground based guards, including Sure Fire running alongside them. "Stop! You have violated the law!" "They're gaining on us!" "Working! On it!" The stressed out spellslinger shot his head out the window and searched the rapidly moving scenery for a place with sufficient shade, soon finding what he was looking for. "Kindle! Get us into that alleyway!" "Right!" The dragoness pulled the reins, causing Birch to swerve left towards an alleyway that was particularly dark. A sickly green light burst forth from Dartz' horn towards the space between the buildings, causing the shadows to rapidly morph on contact, forming a pitch black portal. Birch was completely unphased by this, charging straight foward and diving in, the portal closing behind the wagon the moment it crossed the edge of its entrance.  The guards who witnessed this method of fast-travel skidded to a halt to avoid colliding with the alleyways walls, crashing into each other in the process. An utterly fuming Sure Fire crawled out from under the pile of guards and let out a yell of rage toward the sky. -Meanwhile- The exit portal spat the trio out at the base of Canterlot Mountain, the wagon bouncing twice before coming to a stop. Kindle scrambled down from the box seat and began puking her guts out in a nearby bush. Hanging his head out the wagon's window, Archer looked up at the city at the side of the mountain and whistled. "Damn, Dartz. I think this is the furthest your Shadow Gate's ever taken us." The aforementioned changeling gave a dispassionate grunt from his position on the floor, too tired to maintain his disguise. "Praise me later. Feed me now." He groaned out with all the joy of someone with five hangovers. "Fine, fine, ya big baby." He shifted over to his friend and shoved his face into his chest feathers. Before long, he felt the familiar sensation of his love being drained. Kindle opened the wagon door and sprawled herself onto the couch. "Archer, you drive while I try to stop the world from spinning." Dartz raised his head from Archer's chest. "Does this world even spin?" Instead of answering that very good question, Archer asked his own. "How long till the S.S.C.?" "Took us two days to get to Canterlot. So three days." The griffin placed Dartz on the couch beside Kindle, exited the wagon and climbed into the box seat, taking the reins and prompting Birch to start moving. "So what do we do in the meantime?" "Well. The nearest town is Ponyville (man, that name sounds dumber the older you get). So I say we head there, get some supplies, maybe fix up the wagon. Pretty sure one of the wheels is cracked. 'Sides, I never did get to set up that ring toss." Dartz regained enough energy to chime in. "I say we loot the Castle of Two Sisters while we're at it." "That place is a thousand years old. What would we actually find there?" "If the friendship ex machina could stay there untouched for that long, I'm sure there's something valuable left there."  "What you think Archer?" Archer looked up to see the Sun beginning to set, scratched his beak and shrugged. "I say… we get there when we get there." - Night time, Canterlot -  Shining Armor trotted through one of the seeder parts of the city in a gray cloak, cautious of his surroundings.  His journey ended in front of the husk of an abandoned pub. A pegasus mare in a green poncho loitered in the alley beside it. He walked up to her and she looked at him expectantly. 'Probably waiting for me to use the password.' He pulled out the amulet Dartz had given him and presented it to her. "Battle routine. Set." The mare gave a wry smile before responding. "Execute. You really are serious about this, huh? Well come on then. I'll help you iron out the finer details of this deal." Shining said nothing. He could only hope he was doing the right thing.