//------------------------------// // Talking With Celestia // Story: Dawn of a New Day // by Nugget27 //------------------------------// Somehow, it never dawned on me that Chrysalis could shapeshift. Given that you know, she’s a changeling, that should’ve been obvious to me right off the bat. The bug in question was currently disguised as a white, slender legged unicorn with a pink mane and tail. Her disguise kinda looked like Celestia, but you know, just a unicorn. If I recall correctly, Celestia used to be a pegasus before turning into an alicorn, while Luna was also a pegasus. How they grew a horn beats me, but I have to assume some sexy unicorn came along and showed them how cool it is to be horny. I chuckled at my inner rambling, before sighing; it felt good to have a recognizable face in my life again. We were in the middle of packing up, and were taking a break from it by wandering around Ponyville. Neither of us were in any big rush, me because I just didn’t care about how long it took me to get moving, and Chrysalis was in no rush because we were heading to Canterlot as one of our first stops; for some reason that’s the first place the train went after leaving Ponyville. Which made me kinda laugh when I found out about how retarded the Equestrian rail is. Because it’s literally just one track. That's it, one track for the entire nation. It’s all connected by it going in a circle. Essentially, if you accidentally missed your last stop, you’d have to take the entire circuit again, which takes a solid two months, and pray to god that you don’t forget the second time around. It's an ADHD pony’s worst nightmare. When I explained why that was stupid to Chrysalis, she couldn’t help but laugh her ass off too. Blaze even came up with a minor solution, which was scrap the thing and just make magical teleportation pads. Because those exist apparently, but nobody uses them. For some stupid reason. Anyways, we were sitting at a cafe, where Chrysalis could partake in the love of any passerby. I went and got Blaze, a huge massive cup pup, because those exist now, I guess, and I could enjoy some black coffee that was loaded with sugar and cream. So I don't actually  take my coffee black, who would? Shit tastes awful, and somehow, Equestrian coffee is worse than American coffee. How ponies managed to fuck up so badly when it comes to coffee beans, I dunno, but they also kinda fucked up by treating Celestia as a god. So I guess ponies were just naturally good at fucking up at shit; I heard of a story where Rainbow nearly sold one of her friends off for a special print of a book.  Chrysalis’s cheeks were kinda smeared in icing; the cafe had cake and she just kinda wanted some. Her disguise was actually pretty adorable, and it was even cuter now that there was icing smeared into it. “It has been so long since I’ve had a good piece of cake,” Chrysalis hummed. “So once we are done here, we will get moving? I know you’re procrastinating; you’ve nothing to your name. And I don’t have anything either. You have plenty of canned goods, and Blaze and I don’t need physical food for the most part. We can get on the train now and get going at any point.” “...Weren’t you just saying you didn’t like how our first stop was Canterlot?” “I might as well repay Sunbutt and Moonbutt a visit. I’ll be able to tell them that I have… reformed,” Chrysalis shivered in disgust. “Did you know that reforming involves being forced to get along with the Elements? It’s awful! Those mares are more sociopathic than I was while ruling the Hive!” Chrysalis shivered. “Also I would like to yell at Luna for dumping you the way she did; she had no right in doing that. Not in the way she did it. And I can tell it has left you somewhat… empty. Clearly, it still does sadden you.” “Course it did; we were going to get married. I’m not letting it hold me down though. Time stops for no man, and I can’t let myself stagnate because my heart took a punch in the dick. Get up and keep moving forward, even if your groin just got its shit kicked in.” Chrysalis snorted. “You almost sounded inspirational for a moment. Then you just had to say your heart had… a penis.” Chrysalis actually giggled. “Good. I like a bit of inspiration, but it shouldn’t be sappy ‘oh achieve my dreams if I believe in myself!” “Hey now, Twilight only tried to get me to follow that mindset, with sappy inspirational quotes, a couple of times. Then I told her what happened when I tried to pursue that last dream I had,” I chuckled. “The best thing to come out of that relationship was the kinky sex we had; I’m talking about me and Luna cuddling while she’s wearing her very revealing battle armor; Luna is very warm and cuddly. We only had sex once.” Chrysalis snorted. “What? I can not like Luna, and I can still find her attractive and find her sexy. Just a shame that whatever the fuck is in her head makes her a sack of shit.” “That is true, I suppose,” Chrysalis finally wiped the cake off of her face, having finished it. “Blaze, do you need help? You got a bit of whip cream… everywhere.” Blaze looked up from her empty cup. Somehow she got whip cream behind her ears, on some of her tails, and nowhere near her mouth. In fact, her face was perfectly clean. “...How the buck did you get some of your beverage on your hindlegs?” “I like sugar, bitch.” “Look who’s talking.” “Hey! I fit that description,” Blaze faked a snarl, which made everyone in the area take off running and screaming about a ‘rabid animal’. We all chuckled at that, before Blaze removed all the shit that was on her with telekinesis, and stuffing it all in her mouth. “Okay, let’s get on the train already; this town sucks. And the Elements are terrible.” “Oi, AJ and Twilight weren’t too bad.” “Apple Jack is okay, Twilight literally hunted us down just to ask us questions about the past when there are two, perfectly old princesses, one of whom was on the moon, unconscious. And I believe she would've kept treating us rather poorly if it were not for Celestia telling her not to.” I hummed, before shrugging. It’s best to just drop the topic and get the fuck out already. We wasted zero time in heading back to the motel, grabbing my suitcase full of food, and wasted even less time with getting on the train. While we sat in our cabin, that Chrysalis got by mind zapping some fucker into letting us have, I was simply doing something very simple. It’s called telling Chrysalis to not mind fuck some fucker into letting us have nice shit. Chrysalis whimpered and made dog-like cries as I did that. “I just wanted something nice, okay!” She ‘eeped’ when I hugged her. “I…” “Hey, I get it. I bet you weren’t really treated as a proper Queen while you were in power, and only received the downsides of it.” Chrysalis started to purr again. “Okay, you are not allowed to purr; it’s cute and it gives me heartburn.” The purring intensified. After that short little interaction, I ended up using Blaze as a pillow while I read some magazine about pretty mares, because that’s all the train had. Some lady named Sunny Skies, who looked oddly like Celestia described what she’d look like if she weren’t an alicorn, was in second place. First place was some unicorn named Fleur De Lis.  Weirdly, all of the Princesses were on here, with pictures of them. Cadance, was in first place, and I had to admit, she was pretty. Plus, Princess of Love; no way she’d break your fucking heart after not seeing you for just a week. Twilight was in last place, of the Princesses because she didn’t ‘have long, sexy legs’. Overall, this magazine looks and feels like it was written by some creep who had erectile dysfunction. Somebody who would… probably mentally break if anyone on the list ever spoke with them. So I threw that out the window, and just decided to sleep for the rest of the four hour trip. You know, Canterlot is really underwhelming. It just looked like a fancier version of Everfree City, more modern, and that was it. The main focus in the city, despite this being where most of the nobles have holed up, the Canterlot Castle was clearly the main focus of the city. One glance at a map in the train station told me that pretty much every road, no matter how many turns and twists, took you to the castle. Given that Day Court and Night Court were both pretty popular, and a big reason to go to Canterlot, it made sense. It didn’t stop Canterlot from being underwhelming. Though, after living in Tokyo before ending up in Equestria did this place no favors.  “So, where should we go first?” I asked Chrysalis. The queen hummed, turning to the nearby map, examining it, getting closer and closer to it.  “I know every nook and cranny of Canterlot Castle from the Royal Wedding, but not Canterlot itself… I would like to visit a cafe. That is something I wish I could’ve done, but never had the chance to,” the changeling clapped her hooves. “Can I go there? You don’t have to come, I would just like to know what it is like, to be a mare, sipping on an overpriced cup of coffee with too much sugar in it, and hearing gossip about how Fleur likes to ride every stallion in town! While pretending not to care for it. It would be just so fun!” The way Chrysalis’s eyes lit up in raw unfiltered happiness at the idea, I simply chuckled and shook my head. “Well, I’ll let you do that. I know I wanna have a word or two with Celestia, and I figure dragging you there could be pretty bad. As much as Celestia preaches about love, acceptance, and forgiveness, I don’t trust her with you. For all I know, she would  throw a random filly, who has a lot of mental issues, into whatever the fuck these ponies consider hell, if they slip up slightly. So I can let you do whatever while I talk to that asshat,” I looked down at Blaze. “Go with Chrysalis; she could use the company. Also I think the talk between myself and Celestia will be… a bit heated.” Blaze nodded, before nuzzling up beside Chrysalis. “I’ll make sure our resident Queen doesn’t seduce anyone.” “Hey! If I see a hunk, I want to kiss him and maybe make him redder than a tomato!” Chrysalis giggled. “I don’t seduce anyone; as much of a prissy, little prince that Shining Armor is, he is quite attractive. Terrible in bed, but he is very attractive.” Dunno who that is, but damn, that sucks to be you, whoever the fuck Shining Armor is. “We shall meet back here so we can book a hotel room at sundown?” “Yeah. See y’all later,” Chrysalis hugged and planted a kiss on my forehead before happily pranced up the street with Blaze at her heels. I watched with a small smile, before sighing, and turning to face Canterlot Castle. You know, it might be on the side of a mountain, but it’s not as cool looking as the Castle of the Two Pony Sisters. Maybe it’s my Everfree City pride, maybe it’s me just being spiteful of those two Sisters, but Canterlot Castle looked like it was trying too hard to be grand and the symbol of prosperity. Meh, it doesn't matter how the castle looks, what matters are the two bitches inside.  I’m gonna talk to one of them bitches, try and get an audience with that bitch, and kindly tell them to also stay the fuck out of my life. I started walking up mainstreet before remembering I had a pair of wings. So I took to the sky and started heading towards the castle. If one thing never changes, it seems to be all the nobles; they were giving me the same disgusted look that they were giving me a thousand years ago. Ah, racism, even in a magical land full of horses, it’s always present. You fucking horses. What? Celestia said it was a slur. Anyways, I touched down, told the guards my business in being in the castle, and found myself in line, waiting for day court. I was next in line! Fuck yes! God, I started counting how many fingers I had because I was so goddamn bored! How many did I have? One. God, sometimes I miss being human, just to have a smartphone to dumbly look at photos of puppies to kill time. Thankfully, the next pony in line was retarded and, from glimpses of what I could hear(the door was cracked slightly open), was asking Celestia basic geometry shit. When that fucker was done asking what A squared and B Square gets you, I was finally let in. Celestia’s smile faltered ever so slightly, probably because I looked dead inside, but I noticed it. In some ways, this mare was still the same; same face, just a little harder to make out any emotion behind it. We stared at each other, and the guards seemed to be a little pissy that I didn’t bow, or even say ‘good morning princess’. “So, I believe we will properly chat after you’re done running day court?” “Straight to the chase as it appears… Day Court will be adjourned in an hour; you may wait in a side room. Ms. Inkwell?” Somebody, who just looks like their destiny is to be a secretary, looked up. She was a cute mare, all things told. I’m not on the market at the moment, but if I were, and if she’s on the market… Nah. Every woman with some type of power in the country is fucking mental. “Please lead Bald Ostrich to my private drawing room. I shall meet up with him once I am done here.” Inkwell, who I’m assuming is Celestia’s secretary nodded. I was let out of the throne room and down the hall. “So. What’s your history with Celestia?” Inkwell asked. “I’ve seen Celestia in private; it’s rare for her to falter even a little bit. So you two clearly have history.” “You see, a thousand years ago, I was dating her sister. Celestia and I were becoming friends, and then a little thing called destiny fucked that in half. I’m simply here to have a conversation with an old friend, an old friend who I believe, isn’t the same woman I used to chat and have a drink with. Then again, Luna did dump me within thirty seconds of meeting me… Meh, that’s just life for ya. It sucks shit.” “What the buck are you on about? Are you mental?” “I’m Bald Ostrich, typically I go by Ostri, but you can use my full name even if I hate it. I dunno if you’ve heard of me or not, but you probably haven’t. The only two that have recognized me are literal history nerds, so I don’t blame you.” “I don’t believe I know who you are. In fact, I don’t think I’ve heard of anypony that goes by such a stupid name… No offense,” thank you for that. I am totally cool with you calling my name stupid now.  “Eh, if you didn’t recognize me, it wouldn’t matter.” Eventually, I found myself a chair, alone. I… honestly don’t know what to do. On one hand, this is a drawing room, on the other- is that Celestia’s diary? Oh-ho-ho. That is something I am going to read while I’m waiting… This is a recent rendition; it only goes back about two years ago. It starts off going on about a certain, purple pony that Celestia took under her wing. About how she’s so proud of how far Twilight Sparkle had come since leaving for Ponyville, and even expressing her happiness when that unicorn ascended… D’aw, there’s a little sketch of the two of them reading a book by the fireplace, late into the night. Twilight was fast asleep, tucked under Celestia’s wing. The book was long forgotten, Celestia was just looking down at Twilight as a little filly. Okay, as much as I no longer care for this mare, I can appreciate just how adorable it is. And also admire just how much Celestia genuinely cared for this random filly that showed magical talent that Celestia hadn’t seen in all of her life. Then I skipped ahead to something… more recent. It went into detail about seeing me for the first time, how it was both exciting and terrifying. On one hand, or hoof, Celestia was excited to see me again. Especially after being missing for the better part of a thousand years. It highlighted how… she actually finds me handsome, how she was actually kinda sad about- nope, nope. Not a shot in hell Celestia didn’t plan this. This shit wouldn’t just be lying around in her drawing room. This would be under her bed somewhere. So I set the diary back where it was, and figured sleeping would be a better pastime. Of course, as soon as I finally managed to fall asleep, the door cracked open, and I shot back up onto my arse, and started sitting like a human. Celestia walked into the room, looking somewhat tired, before plotting her butt in the chair and reclining into it. A relaxed sigh escaped her lips before her ears shot up. Her eyes shot towards her diary before she glared at me. “You read that, didn’t you?” “I did. I didn’t read the whole thing, but I did. Didn’t know that you had a thing for Fluttershy at one point, but whatever.” I said with a cheeky little grin. Celestia’s blank expression was priceless. “Don’t give me that look; that mare’s adorable. I’m sure she’d love to ‘punish’ you for being such a naughty girl in Day Court today. You know what they say about the quiet ones: They’re the toughest bunch in the crowd. With how everyone is treating you, I bet you’d love yourself a mare, or a stallion, that makes you feel powerless in bed.” Celestia simply facehoofed. “I should banish you to the moon for that one.” “Do it. I always wanted to be an astronaut… Not really, being on the moon sounds like it would suck shit.” I brought a hoof up to my lips as I was chuckling. If it weren’t for the hoof, I would’ve ended up laughing my ass off. Sadly, I think both of us knew that I did not just show up for a friendly conversation. As Celestia took a deep breath. “So, are you trying to make me and Luna a couple again? Because I know Luna, and I doubt she’d run back to me after making her disinterest in me clear. And I definitely made it clear that I don’t plan on re-entering a relationship with her; I want to, I would’ve loved to keep dating her actually. But I can’t trust her to not just drop me at the drop of a hat again.” “Ostri, do you understand your importance? You used to make Luna so happy, and I’ve taken a lesson or two from you even if my younger self could not. My little sister’s happiness should come first, and foremost to me. What she’s been through, her fall into darkness, her entire emotional state was my fault for not stepping up as her sister, and making sure she’s happy. And while Luna didn’t realize it, she does genuinely love you, and misses you as well. I certainly did; I know the two of us cried when you initially went missing.” “Man, that's crazy. You sure didn’t seem to cry when I showed up and was thrown out, by your sister, like a sack of shit. But… that isn’t why I am here, Celestia. Whether or not we’re still friends entirely relies on how you treat me; like a person and not some cow you can lead to water. Because this cow will sooner kill himself than follow your lead. I’m here to ask you just what happened during that month between when I vanished and you banished your sister? Chrysalis told me you two waged war.” Celestia grimaced. “It wasn’t just a month before I banished my sister, Ostri. She fell to her inner darkness and waged war against me for years. Her alter-ego, Nightmare Moon… hated me. She hated me because I represented the very country that shunned her so. Despite everything, she still treated her soldiers, which made up her Lunar Guard, with respect, and according to some of her captains, treated them well. My forces often… slaughtered my sister’s due to the sheer difference in numbers. Our final battle ended with my sister trying to retreat and then… I used the Elements of Harmony on her, sending her to the moon. Despite having more…  barbaric tactics thanks to you, we both fought on an open field.” “So you’re saying, if this ‘revolution’ managed to happen without me getting dragged into the future, I coulda overthrown you by not leading my soldiers into death like the Lunar Guards’ captains were a thousand years ago?” “...That is a blunt way to put it, but yes. Most captains at the time, and most generals, cared more for honor rather than actual victory. You were technically a general due to you leading our forces against the griffins for one battle. Your tactics were… brutal to say the least. You can understand why I wrote you out of most curriculums for Equestrian history. Though if you stuck around, I had a feeling you would’ve tried to mediate and stop myself and Luna from going to war to begin with.” “You’re right on that one. I don’t wanna fight the woman I’m dating, and I don’t wanna fight my friend. Given it’s either ‘fight the love of your life, or a good friend’  which, at the time, Luna and you fell into those categories respectively…” I sighed. “Kinda miss that, but you and Luna definitely do not care about me anymore. Or at least, not as a friend or anything remotely close. You, despite literally being the same mare, are almost recognizable in terms of raw personality. You’ve become smart, scarily so… Do you still wanna be an actress?” “...Nopony has spoken with me about that for ages. Not even Twilight Sparkle knows that about me yet,” Celestia sighed. “I have always hoped to take a disguise, take a day off, and try performing in a play. Woe is me! I am forever trapped in a gildren cage!” Celestia started doing all the theatrical motions and everything… She's good. “How was that? You think I could get away with being an actress for a day?” “Yeah. Maybe meet up with that handsome stallion that’s playing the male lead after the play, perhaps make due on some love? As much as you feel like a stranger now, I feel like you at least deserve somebody to love. Have you got anyone in the last thousand years? I know you weren’t very interested after that one asshat tried rubbing up against your thighs on the first date.” “Of course you’d remember what I told you about my first date…” we both chuckled. “Unfortunately, ruling a country almost entirely by myself left me no time for a relationship. Only three hundred years ago did I actually begin to be able to delegate anything and have any free time for myself. So about Luna, do you think you two could ever date again? I know it made you so happy to just snuggle up with Luna in front of the fireplace and help her out occasionally with her paperwork.” “Nope. Why are you so goddamn adamant about me and Luna dating again? Do you need me anchored down in Equestria that badly?” “I… I thought it would make you and Luna happy again, that perhaps, we could go back to the old days.” “Celestia, remaining in the past is a solid way to remain stagnant. I love Luna, I miss her, I miss hanging out with you. But what did we have back then? That isn’t going to come back. I know that I’m in the future, and as much as I miss the past, the past is not the present, and the only way to the future is to keep marching on. Celestia, you may not know it, nor would Luna, but you two are like entirely different people to me right now. I would love to get to know the both of you more even if you’ve been trying to keep me in Equestria for whatever reason. Whether you’re telling me the truth or not about why you want me to stay in Equestria, I don’t care because I ain’t hanging around here for too much longer. But I know that what the three of us once had is long dead.” I sat back in my chair. Celestia’s ears were drooping, she was slouched over. “I never said we couldn’t be friends again, Celestia, but you’re gonna have to do a damn good job at keeping my trust.” The next thing I knew, I was being hugged by Sunbutt. “I believe… I will make great strides to keep it then-” The door slammed open with a thunderous thud. I jumped slightly, but being tucked under an alicorn’s wing kept me from fleeing the scene. “Sister!” Luna walked in wearing a starry sleeping cap, and a simple night gown. Wow, she looks adorable… Meh, I got a changeling and a kitsune to cuddle with. One of which is way cuter. “I have found out what ‘Modern Metal’ is recently and would like to ask if we can abolish that as a musical genre- oh hey Ostri!” She happily waved at me like we were best friends. We aren’t even that anymore, Luna. “I’m going to go find Chrysalis and see how she’s enjoying being a noble prick. See you two around,” I slid out from under Celestia’s wing and walked out the door.