//------------------------------//
// Chapter 12 
// Story: Why not? Sure. I'll Marry You. 
// by HAKDurbin 
//------------------------------//

Sprout saw Hitch in high spirits since Pipp's visit to Maritime Bay. He was used to seeing Hitch in a chipper mood, always happy to serve the ponies of Maretime Bay as the sheriff, but the stallion that Sprout had known since they were colts was particularly giddy. 
Sprout was reluctant to admit that he understood to a degree. Pipp was surprisingly nice to Sprout even when he thought she would harm him. How she smiled at him once he began to see a reason was etched on his mind. Since she visited, Sprout pondered how his fears against the pegasi were silly, as though he only now accepted as a grown stallion that there were no monsters in his closet or under his bed. If nothing else, Phyllis was pleased that the seeds had been planted in Sprout's mind. 
A few weeks passed since Pipp's trip, and Sprout was on his way to work. Walking down the main streets from Phyllis's house, he noticed ponies walking by with bright smiles. Some even greeted him, “Good morning,” as though they were long-time friends with Sprout. Indeed, Maretime Bay had become a more cheerful and friendly place ever since the sheriff's wife visited, even if she was only in town for less than 24 hours. Sprout was uneasy with the upbeat manner unusual for the ponies of Maretime Bay, particularly the unicorns and the pegasi, who knew he was still prejudiced against them. Still, it was nice to see the citizens so happy, especially if it meant getting positive attention from the citizens as the deputy for a change. 
Sprout arrived at the sheriff's station, carrying a bag of donuts and a bottle of chocolate milk with one hoof. The critters were sleeping on the sign, expected to wake up when Hitch arrived as per routine. Sprout went inside the station and went to his desk to eat his breakfast. 
At 7 o'clock sharp, Hitch came in through the front doors, but, to Sprout's confusion, he didn't give the station a good morning like he regularly did. He was followed by the critters walking behind him in a straight line and then by Zoom and Thunder with military duffle bags on their backs. Sprout's ears hang low at the sight of the royal guards, worried that something serious was happening. 
"Sprout, allow me to introduce you to Zoom Zephyrwing and Thunder Flap," Hitch said. "They're the ones that are going to hold the fort while I'm in Zephyr Heights."
"What? You're leaving for Zephyr Heights? When did you decide this all of the sudden?" Sprout asked. 
Hitch furrowed his brow and said, "Sprout, I told you I was going a week in advance. I put it on the calendar."
Sprout looked past Hitch to see on the calendar past him to see on the calendar hanging next to the front doors that Hitch indeed wrote that he would be leaving for Zephyr Heights on Friday the 8th. Sprout chuckled sheepishly, and Hitch rolled his eyes and shook his head. 
"You gotta be kidding me," Hitch said under his breath before he spoke up. "Alright then, let me repeat what I told you. I'm going to be spending a week at Zephyr Heights Castle. Including traveling time, I'll be gone for about 11 days. While I'm gone, Zoom is in charge as acting Sheriff, and you and Thunder will serve as her deputies. I expect you to treat Zoom with the respect you give me. Is that understood?"
"Yes, sir," Sprout huffed.
"Good," Hitch said before taking out his set of keys and turned to Zoom. "Here are the keys to the station and my house. Make yourselves at home while I'm away. I'm trusting you have memorized Maretime Bay law and will look after my town to the letter. If there's any sort of trouble that requires you to contact me, don't hesitate to send a message."
"Sheriff Trailblazer, we will protect your town as though it were Zephyr Heights Castle. You have our word," Zoom said as she and Thunder saluted. 
"Okay, okay, at ease. No need for that," Hitch said with a chuckle before turning to Sprout. "See you in a week and a half, Sprout,"
"Yeah, yeah. See ya," Sprout said halfheartedly.
Hitch frowned and shook his head again, mentally praying Sprout wouldn't cause too much trouble for Queen Haven's guards as he exited the station. The seagulls and the crab chased him, planning to follow him to the end of the town's borders before bidding him goodbye. Zoom took her duffle bag off her back and began scanning the station to be familiar with its interior. Sprout scoffed as he watched Zoom while eating a donut, knowing there was not much for the pegasus to look at. After inspecting, Zoom hummed and nodded before turning to Thunder. 
"Thunder, take our bags to the sheriff's house, then begin the morning rounds," Zoom commanded.
"Morning rounds?" Thunder asked. 
"Yes, the morning rounds. We've gone over the sheriff's schedule a hundred times," Zoom said. "How can we be studying his schedule, going over the rules, and studying a map of this town the entire trip, and yet you can't remember the first thing we're supposed to do in the sheriff's place?"
Thunder paused before shrugging with a sheepish grin. Zoom huffed, and face hoofed like she was getting a headache. Sprout smirked while eating his donut, amused with what was happening between the two pegasi.
"Just drop off our bags and patrol the streets," Zoom said.
"Yes, ma'am," Thunder said, still grinning in embarrassment. 
Thunder put Zoom's bag on top of his bag, and the bags wobbled as he struggled to balance them on his back. He pushed the door open with his plot, and Sprout let out a low chuckle as the private exited the station. Sprout then reached into his bag and took out a jelly-filled long john. He licked his lips and opened his mouth to take a bite before noticing Zoom standing in front of his desk, looking daggers at him. 
"What?" Sprout asked rudely.
"Get to work," Zoom said.
Sprout scoffed and said, "Yeah, yeah. I'll get to it after breakfast."
He opened his mouth again, but before his teeth could pierce the donut, Zoom snatched it from his hoof and put it back in the bag. Before Sprout could react, Zoom tossed his bag of donuts and chocolate milk into the air, landing on the highest shelf of binders.
"Hey, I wasn't done," Sprout protested. 
"You can finish your fattening breakfast when you're not on the clock," Zoom said. 
"That's not fair! Hitch lets me finish my breakfast before getting to work!" Sprout whined. 
"Well, I'm not the sheriff. As far as I'm concerned, you're on the clock, so you have to get to work, no ifs and or butts. Now, start working on your reports, Deputy Depooty."
"Just because Hitch put you in charge doesn't mean you can boss me around like I'm in the royal guard with you and your buddy," Sprout said. "And for your information, my name is not Depooty. It's Sprout. Sprout Cloverleaf."
Zoom's commanding expression faded into a look of puzzlement. 
"It's not?" she asked. "Then, why is that the name on your name plaque?"
Sprout looked at her, equally confused, until Zoom pointed at his name plaque made of paper. It took him a moment to realize the confusion before he cackled, confident that he had the upper hand. 
"That's my deputy name plaque," he said triumphantly. 
But instead of Zoom feeling embarrassed, Sprout's answer was met with a snort. Zoom looked between Sprout and his name plaque, covering her mouth as she began snickering. 
"You're joking. Come on, you have to be joking. You're trying to mess with me on my first day running this town," Zoom said. 
"What are you blind? That obviously spells deputy. Look at it closely. De-pu-ty," Sprout said, using his hoof to point at the letters on his name plaque by syllable.
His efforts only made Zoom snicker more. His ears hung low as he became unsure whether to feel embarrassed. The snicker became a low giggle as Sprout's incapacity to spell 'deputy' hit Zoom more. 
"That's not how you spell deputy, doofus," Zoom chortled. "How in Equestria has your supervisor not told you Deputy is spelled with a u and not two o's? I mean, if this is how it is just spelling your rank, your reports must be -" 
Zoom stopped in mid-sentence, and her eyes widened as it hit her. She glanced at the five-page report lying on Sprout's desk, and the left edge of her mouth curled up. Sprout glanced between Zoom and the report, and his eyes widened, realizing what was on the mare's mind. With Hitch fixing Sprout's reports without telling him, the lazy deputy thought there was nothing wrong with any of his writing, and yet the way Zoon looked at his paperwork gave him a twitch of fear. Sprout grabbed the paper from his desk, but he only had a moment of relief before Zoom snatched it from his hoof. 
"Hey, give that back!" Sprout shouted. 
He got off his chair and ran over to get the report back, but Zoom forced him back with her right front leg while reading the report with her left hoof. Sprout tried to push Zoom's hoof away, but he was no match for the strength of a royal guard. Finally, Zoom began cackling, and Sprout's face fell. Zoom's cackle turned into uncontrollable laughter as she fell to the floor on her side. Tears ran down her face, and she slammed her hoof on the floor. 
"Stop laughing! You're just teasing me for the sake of teasing me," Sprouts whined, feeling as though he were a school colt being bullied. 
"Buddy, I have enough material to laugh at you straight at your face, and it's entirely your fault," Zoom giggled. "You don't know when to use ‘then’ or ‘than,’ you go back and forth between writing in past, present, and future tense. Granted, how to spell ‘axe’ and ‘gray’ depends on who you ask, but you hardly know when to use commas, for crying out loud. Honestly, 'Depooty,' if I didn't know any better, I'd say you are an elementary school dropout. Optimistically, you gave up during the 3rd grade."
Sprout looked at Zoom, shocked that she talked to him that way. All his life, Sprout thought himself somepony with very few flaws to speak of, if any. Whatever issues ponies like Hitch and Phyllis ever had with him, they either sugar-coated it or didn't say anything at all, making Sprout believe that there was nothing to worry about. And yet, here was this mare, a pegasus at that, who ripped the Band-Aid off and poured salt to the wound regarding Sprout's inability to write correctly, laughing all the way. Sprouts clenched his teeth as Zoom laughed until her face was a deeper shade of blue. 
"S-so what? It's not like my writing is so bad that Hitch can't understand what I'm saying," Sprout said. "Besides, I can do other stuff."
"Like what?" Zoom asked, standing up with an amused smirk. 
"Well … I'm great at going undercover," Sprout boasted. "Sunny used to try to sneak her way into my mom's factory back when she was holding special events for devices to use against unicorns and pegasi, and Hitch left me in charge to keep an eye on her so she wouldn't get in."
"I see. And has the sheriff had any need for your so-called great capability in going undercover since all three ponykinds became friends?" Zoom asked. 
"Er, well, no," Sprout admitted. "But I also watch out for anyone dropping litter." 
"And do you know where in the law it says that ponies can't do that?" Zoom challenged. 
"What does that matter? It's a rule that gets broken a lot, and ponies should know better, especially when we have plenty of public trash bins," Sprout said. 
"Granted, but you are still an enforcer of the law, and you should have memorized the law of your town before the sheriff hired you," Zoom said. 
"How would you know? You're not a real officer of the law. You were hired to protect your queen and pretty princesses," Sprout said. 
"It is standard procedure that royal guards know the ins and outs of our duties and the full extent of Zephyr Heights law. That is precisely why Queen Haven assigned me to look after this town whenever the sheriff is visiting Princess Pipp," Zoom said. "Frankly, I am astonished by your lack of capacity to even know that. I would expect Thunder’s lack of conviction in reading the law of Maretime Bay but for the sheriff's only fellow officer? That is unacceptable."
"Oh, mind your own business, lady. You're just a substitute. You don't get to decide how things are done with Hitch gone. You don't even live here," Sprout said. 
"He also made me acting sheriff and commanded you to give me the same respect you give him," Zoom countered. "As such, I'm making it my solemn duty to discipline you to be an adequate force of this town's law. From now on, whenever the sheriff is gone, eating, sleeping, or anything else you do in your spare time are privileges." 
"But that's not fair," Sprout protested. 
"Deputy, you were eating on the job and arguing with your superior on top of lacking qualities regarding law enforcement, a first-year Zephyr Heights royal guard trainee would know. I'd say disciplinary action is more than fair," Zoom said. "And furthermore, the sheriff specifically instructed me to keep an eye on you. So, as long as I am here to run this town in his absence, you are not getting paid to sit down and barely do the bare minimum of your job whenever you feel like it. I suggest we start with this so-called report. We are going to thoroughly analyze each and every sentence, and I'm going to lecture you on every mistake you make."
Sprout gave Zoom a grumpy pout like a 4-year-old colt told he couldn't have apple juice and cookies before dinner. He had half a mind to grab the landline phone on Hitch's desk and call him to try to get hitched to make Zoom stop bullying him. But Sprout figured Zoom would stop him before he got close, and he never thought to ask Hitch for his cell phone number. Zoom raised her eyebrow and spread her wings, growing impatient with the stubborn stallion. Finally, Sprout scoffed, rolled his eyes, and stormed back to his desk as though he were told to go to his room. 
"Fine," he growled. 
Zoom smugly watched Sprout sit back down, pleased with him falling to submission. She grabbed Hitch's chair from his desk and brought it over to sit beside Sprout’s, almost touching Sprout's side. Sprout tried to wheel away, but Zoom used her right back leg to hold one of the legs of Sprout's chair down. Sprout glared at the pegasus, who kept smirking as she grabbed a red pen. 
"Oh, quit giving me that look, 'Depooty.' If you are a good boy while we make it through the first page, I might give you your donut back," Zoom said. "Now then, let's work on the first sentence starting with going over why ‘morning’ is not spelled with two o's, and an e before the i."
Sprout groaned while reclining his chair and staring at the ceiling. It was going to be a long, frustrating day.