//------------------------------// // Uncle // Story: Friendship is Weird // by Local Loco //------------------------------// WOAH--- WOAH--- WOAH--- I’ll make you famous I’LL MAKE YOU FAMOUSER! Los Pegasus, the home to A-list celebrities. It is also home to the Pony Wrestling League, also known as PWL. Over at the PWL performance center, three ponies are being trained by a pro in the business. Multi-time champ Dandy Cream the Third is training with his nephew Cookies N Cream and his friends Alto Tenor and Enchanted Crown. DC3, Alto, and EC are in a square ring with Cookies watching from the outside. “We’re starting off with some basics. Whip me into the ropes for a rebounding offence. EZ you can start off with me.” Before EC could correct him, DC3 grabbed her by the hoof. “Ok now that you got me, you gotta pull me, like so.” The stallion guided the mare’s hooves as he flung himself over to the ropes and ran a lap. “Good work, EZ. Mare your size and strength will easily dominate the division. Now you’re up Big Al.” He holds up his hoof only for Alto to grab him using his wing. “You think your dinky little wing can lift a stallion my size? That’s not gonna cut it. Also, no wings, no magic. Thems the rules. Using them is a DQ and possibly some fines as well. So come on and give me your hoof.” The training continues in a montage as well as the song. WOAH--- WOAH--- WOAH--- I’ll make you famous I’LL MAKE YOU FAMOUSER! After a week of physical training, DC3 takes his trainees into the performance center, giving them sticks. “Alright, since you are in peak physical condition, we need to work on how you cut a promo.” He grabs a stick of his own with his hoof as the scene flashforwards to a live PWL event. The crowd is going wild and the flash photography is immense as the four ponies stand in the ring. “You see Rain Maker, you may have your little colts club of flippy nerds and muscle-less chumps, I’ve developed a legacy… no AN EMPIRE under my family name. We will have you and your boys down on the mat for three seconds flat. My nephew can AND WILL take your title while me and Big Al are gonna squash those tag champs of yours just look at the size comparison! And our mare EZ is already a maniac in the ring if you haven’t already seen her. The Cream Empire is here to SET THE STAGE and the curtain call is your loss at Ponymania.” WOAH--- WOAH--- WOAH--- I’ll make you famous I’LL MAKE YOU FAMOUSER! It’s been roughly a month and a half since the group training started and they had just made their debut on PWL last week. Over at the performance center, DC3 is sifting through letters with his hooves, one of which catches his eye. “Excuse me, Uncle Dandy?” “Oh Jeeze!” DC3 was surprised by Cookies voice. Some of the letters start to scatter. One such letter lands in front of Cookies. “Don’t sneak up on a trained professional like that, I could have injured you if you were a crook.” “My apologies, fair uncle.” The smaller unicorn said, picking up the envelope. He notices that it’s addressed to Alto and that the return address is the Ponyville post office. Before he could open it, his uncle swiped it away with his hoof. “It’s fan mail, kid. And considering the amount of hate I get on the daily for playing the bad guy out there, my bet that’s hate mail.” Cookies’ uncle opens the envelope and reads it. His reactions were that of intrigue before he shook his head and pushed the letter back in the envelope. “Yep. Definitely hate mail. I ain’t letting you read it until you all are successful enough to ignore the haters.” “I guess that’s… understandable.” Cookies said with a bit of concern. “Though, may I ask why you haven’t been training me?” “Haven’t been?” His uncle looked at him with a raised eyebrow. “Kid, you’re a Cream. A legacy of savants in our blood. I’ve been training you by training your friends while you watch. Saves energy for the real fights. Speaking of your friends, go gather them. There’s one last thing I have to teach before our big night.” “O-of course Uncle.” Cookies said a bit nervous, having his eye on the letter his uncle took a look at before stumbling his way to EC and Alto who were training on some bucking bags. It took no time at all before they all went on over to DC3. He leads Alto and EC into the ring with a weighted training dummy while Cookies stands outside watching. “Alright, our big night is coming up: Ponymania! Sure, the Grand Galloping Gala is the big night for most ponies, but for us in this business that’s PM baby. Now, sure you can easily throw your opponents out of the ring… EZ, but the championships aren’t gonna be won like that. You are going to need a real finisher.” He trots over to the weighted training dummy, hooks his forehoof to its hind leg, and practically rolls over it before landing back on his own hooves with the dummy on his back. “This, my friends, is what I call the Dandy Driver.” With that said, DC3 jumps a bit and goes into a sitting position, causing the dummy to slide down his back and land head first. “That looks rather dangerous, is that a legal maneuver?” EC asked, wincing as the move lands. “It’s easy, EZ. Get the pony on your back and let them slide down. Unlike this dummy here, your opponent should have the self-preservation to tilt their head forward, landing on their shoulders instead of square on the cranium they should live to see another day. So, to ease your worries…” DC3 pats his chest and looks at the helmed mare. “try it out on me.” EC tilted her head towards Alto who looked back at her and shrugged. With a bit of hesitation EC followed the steps needed to perform the move. Without struggle she had successfully performed the roll over maneuver to get DC3 on her back. Jumping up in the air, she begins to land on her flank, sliding Cookies uncle down on the mat seemingly landing head first. DC3 lays on the ground as though he was knocked out causing EC to check up on him. “Boo!” The stallion opened his eyes and gave a wild face before quickly getting up, startling EC. “Ya did good, girl.” He looks over at Alto. “You’re going to have to practice a bit with the dummy, but with me as your tag partner, I can assist you. Remember: No wings. That’s the rule.” WOAH--- WOAH--- WOAH--- I’ll make you famous I’LL MAKE YOU FAMOUSER! Ponymania, the night that the wrestling world in Equestria looks forward to. This is the year of Cream as the returning DC3 returns from injury, bringing with him his nephew and friends into the business looking to topple main roster over with his influence. The first match of the night was EC facing the Mare’s Champion. The match was fast pace with EC taking a few bumps, but in the end she was able to hit the Dandy Driver, ending the match and crowning herself as the new champion. She was smiling though hidden behind her helmet. The next match for the Cream Empire was the tag match. Alto Tenor and Dandy Cream the Third go up against the tag champs. DC3 started off the match, not really dominating, but not doing a bad job either. He played to the crowd, giving the champs enough time to tag each other in while he continues to ignore Alto’s call for a tag. It wasn’t until a little over ten minutes that DC3 places one of the tag champs into his corner. He looks at Alto in the eyes. “Get your hoof up! It’s time, kid!” The unicorn leans back, one of his hooves holding onto the ring rope for support. “SET THE STAGE!” In one swift motion, DC3 slaps hooves with Alto, the referee of the match acknowledges and allows Alto to enter the ring. DC3 snaps the tag champ to the center of the ring before rushing to the other side and performing a dropkick to the champ’s partner, sending him to the barricades at ringside. As DC3 slowly climbed to the top rope, Alto waited for his legal opponent to stand up, hooking his foreleg to their hind leg before rolling over him to set up for the Dandy Driver. As Alto jumps up to hit the move, DC3 hops off the top rope, his foreleg aimed in such a way that essentially forced the legal champ to land directly on their head. “Pin him, Al!” DC3 says while posing to the direction of a part of the audience. 1! 2! 3! The match official calls for the bell before lifting up the hooves of Alto and DC3. They are swiftly given their new title belts, to which Cookie’s uncle flaunts around in the ring. There was still one match left for the group though. “The following match is scheduled for one fall! It is for the PWL WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP!” The ring announcer announced. Coming down first is Cookies wearing a long black and white robe with a star on the back, its size clearly meant for his uncle who is coming down with him but is more hyping up the crowd. Coming up from behind Cookies are Alto and EC who have their championship title belts hung around their necks. When the group make it into the ring, DC3 deftly takes off the robe in one swift motion as he puts it on himself. Coming down next is a bright orange earth pony in a hotrod flamed robe and a gold belt strapped around his neck. Unlike Cookies, the stallion came to the ring alone. Also, unlike Cookies, the stallion was taller and more had slightly a bit more bulk. He had a bit of a foreign look too. The match started with little to no action. Most attempts by the champ to tackle Cookies, the small stallion swiftly dodges. A couple minutes of dodging and the crowd starts to boo and hiss. DC3 presses his hoof against his head. “Come on, nephew! Hit him or something! I taught ya that!” Cookies turns his head towards his uncle, his dull silver eyes showing concern at his family member. “You didn’t teach me anything!” Just as Cookies turns his head back towards his opponent, he is met with a hoof to the face, knocking him down on the mat. DC3 sighs as he mumbles to himself. “You want something done right, you gotta do it yourself.” The champ has Cookies in for a pin, but before a count of 2 the stallion miraculously kicks out. It’s as if Cookies body moved on its own as the match continues to play out like a dramatic battle between the top gladiators. At ringside, Alto’s ear kept on twitching as if he was hearing something from DC3, but a look at the stallion shows that he wasn’t really doing anything the entire match. The match was back and forth, seemingly with no end in sight, but Cookies was able to take an opportune dodge and turn it into a Dandy Driver. Cookies ragdolls on top of the champ for the cover. 1! 2! 3! The moment that the bell had rung, DC3 slid into the ring to check in on his nephew with a few wake-up slaps. EC and Alto enter the ring by climbing the stairs set at the corner of the ring. Confetti was released onto the ring as the ref brought the championship belt to Cookies who is not responsive other than breathing. His uncle took that into account and grabbed the belt for Cookies. Not only that he also grabbed the belts hanging off of EC and Alto before going to one of the ring posts and raising all the belts, laughing as he does so. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I made you famous I MADE YOU FAMOUSER! “GOOOOOOOD MORNING EQUESTRIA! Check one! Check two! It’s Mic Check here with you and I’m not alone! With me here is a pioneer of acting and brand deals. The original DJ! I’m talking about Dandy Cream Junior. How you doing DJ?” “Well, Micy boy I’m doing F-F-F-Fine and Dandy just Fine and Dandy. Ooh! Saying that gets me nostalgic back to when my wife and I were starting out in the acting business.” “Hearing it first hoof here folks sending chills down my spine, but let’s talk a bit about your family. They seem to be finding their way into their own influential sphere as it were.” “Ain’t no doubt! When Sour took over the business he was on the cover of magazines before branching out into a safety business with insurances and stuff. So serious and business savvy. He gets it from his mother I can tell you that.” “We’re talkin’ more than Sour, DJ. I believe your grandson, Cookies, became one of the six elements of harmony representing the element of laughter.” “HA! Really is my grandson. I should visit Sour sometime, see how they’re all doing.” “Actually, the plan was to talk about what your other son has been doing with Cookies.” “The Third!? Haven’t seen him since he graduated from that Canterlot school of special unicorn whatsits. Only Cream I know to actually go through that place. What’s he been up to all these years?” “That would be Pony Wrestling.” “Ain’t really much of a sports fanatic to be honest with you, Micy. Family, fashion, and fun entertainment is the DJ way. He taking Cookies in for sports? Last I saw he was but a frail colt. Who knows what kind of smoke and mirrors he’s pulling?” “Well, he did turn your grandson into a champion so he must be some kind of master coach for that to happen.” “Nah, Creams are naturally gifted. Whatever we put our minds to we end up doing it. Pa was a heck of a genius when it came to mane and tail care products, but he didn’t have the heart in him to shove product into ponies faces. Which reminds me, today’s non-sponsor segment is brought to you by Dandy Cream’s Dandy Cream™ keeping you Fine and Dandy on your worst mane day.” “Right, we’ll be taking a break here, meanwhile you listeners at home can listen to the latest music from the Ponyville Experimental Music Club. I hear that they will be playing at the Gala. Coming in a couple weeks. You got a ticket, DJ?” “Nope!” “We’ll be right back.” Another show of PWL is Live. Starting the night off in the middle of the ring is DC3 accompanied by Cookies, Alto, and EC. Cookies’ uncle wore sunglasses and had a smug smile on his face as he hyped up the crowd with all the championship belts strapped across his body. The others don’t share the same energy. Cookies is staring at the mat beneath them. It wasn’t until one of the tech ponies came up and offered DC3 a microphone did things begin to quiet down. “What did I tell you? The Cream Empire runs this business!” DC3 yelled into the mic in his hoof. The audience reacted with a majority boos. “My nephew here is as naturally talented as yours truly, and with friends twice his size, it’s no wonder they all became champs so easily. Ain’t that right EZ? Easy? EZ? Get it? No mare could possibly take down a pony your size. And Big Al…” There was a bit of silence as the two ponies stare at each other, their facial expressions unchanging. “How about we get a few words from our new champ, everypony? Take it away, Nephew.” Cookies looked at his uncle with his dull silver eyes before using his magic to levitate the mic to his face. “I’m not sure how this all happened. One moment I was in the ring with the one they call Rain Maker and then everything went black. Next thing I remember is being dragged out of the arena as my uncle waved around these gold-plated belts. The championship isn’t why my friends and I are here though. You see, one of our friends got into a serious accident. Doctors said they didn’t know how long she’d be in a coma for and my friends and I felt nothing but regret thinking that we weren’t strong enough to stop it. So, when Uncle came by to help us become stronger we seized that opportunity, but Uncle…” Cookies took a deep breath as he pulled out an open envelope hidden in his mane. “…Our friend has been awake for quite a while.” “W-WHAT!?” EC was the first to speak up, using her magic to bring the letter over to her face. Alto looking over her shoulder to read as well. “Nephew I told you that was hate mail.” “Hate mail?” Cookies pulls out more envelopes out of his mane, most of which have red love hearts on them. One of which is green with a compass stamp. “You think I wouldn’t recognize how my fair H-friend would send his letters? They even marked it with their cutie-marks! Sent to the performance center for the past couple of weeks!” EC opened the green envelope, carefully looking at it for a while before angrily stomping towards DC3 and quickly removing her championship belt off him, causing the stallion to yelp in pain. “Easy? Is that all you ever saw me as? I left behind my friends… MY BROTHER because you told me I could be strong enough to protect them.” “But-“ “No! I’m going to stand up for myself and do the right thing. I’ll be returning this belt to the rightful owner before heading back home to the friends I have missed.” EC said, her voice ringing with anger despite her face being covered by her helm. She immediately leaves the ring without looking back. DC3 looked over at Cookies with a bit of a nervous smile before grabbing the mic with his hoof. “Nephew I trained you to be the champion that you are now. Forgive my transgressions because all I wanted to better yourself.” “Trained me!?” Cookies snatched the mic back from his uncle with his magic. “Forgive you!? In order for me to forgive you you’d need to have done something to me to apologize for and you didn’t do ANYTHING to me. I just sat and watched as you trained my friends. I’m done with this business, Uncle. It’s not for me.” Cookies let the mic drop to the mat before leaving as well. DC3 looked around, getting booed by the audience. He scrambled to pickup the mic and looked back at Alto, the last pony in the ring. His face was neutral and the unicorn couldn’t read a thing off his face. “Al, EZ and Cookies… They didn’t need my help, but you… I ACTUALLY trained you. WE won OUR championships as clean as you possibly can. You’re going to be a star if you stay with me. So, what do you say, want to help me set the stage?” The white stallion with the black star over his eye dropped the mic he was holding to extend his hoof out to the Pegasus. The crowd boos but there are chants among them saying “don’t do it!” over and over. Alto took no mind of the crowd noise as he extends his wing to shake the stallion’s hoof. The crowd erupted with negative cheers and more boos. DC3 smiled as he stared back at the massive Pegasus before him. “You made the right choice, kid.” The white stallion didn’t realize it at the time, but the rather large Pegasus had leaned his head back while keeping an unescapable grip on his hoof. A swift headbutt to DC3 knocks him out cold. The crowd cheers as Alto finally leaves the ring with a bit of a bruise on his forehead. “GOOOOOOOOD MORNING EQUEST-” “Can it, E-lister! Hey Big Al, I heard you listening to this station so I thought I’d stop by so I can call you out in such a way that you have no choice but to listen.” “Dandy Cream The Third everypony.” “D C 3 and make sure you remember that. Current PWL champ and tag champ with myself, because unlike a certain somepony, I can talk the talk, walk the walk, and kick some *BEEP*ing flank.” “I hope that the censors are able to get that. Can’t say that on the radio.” “*BEEP*ing PG guidelines.” “That’s redundant.” “Not now, G-lister.” “I’m no G-lister, check one, and check two the name is Mic Check here with you.” “Fine! Your show, your rules. I’ll keep it clean. Big Al, I could hold a grudge against the others, but you made the cardinal sin of betrayal. My FORMER tag team partner left me for my blind nephew and that royal guard mare thing. But they don’t know the truth. Element of honesty you should know what it means and how hurtful a betrayal like that could be. Next week, I’ll have you calling me UNCLE in the DC3 first ever ‘say uncle’ match. No rules, and the first to get their opponent to say uncle three times is the winner. I WILL make you say your first words to me.” “That’s cutting it close to the Gala though, aren’t you going?” “The Gala? You really are a Z-lister. Of course, the legendary DC3 is going to the Gala to show off all this championship gold! So next week, Alto, you will be crying for uncle, for I have SET THE STAGE!” “Good to hear! We’ll be right back.” Another live event of PWL. Despite being a regular event, the main match of the night drew the eyes of many ponies across Equestria after the surprise callout on the radio. A match that hadn’t been done before between the two tag team champs, one of them being an element of harmony. It was time for the main event. Alto was standing back stage waiting for his cue along with EC. “You can always back out, there’s no good reason to do this.” EC told her friend in a reassuring voice. Alto closed his eyes and shook his head before pointing his hoof to the audience, their faces showing a range of excitement. “You’d risk getting seriously hurt out there just to appease an audience?” Alto shrugged in response before being cued for his entrance. The crowd cheers as the massive Pegasus stallion makes his way to the ring. Unlike all the other times, he uses his wings to flutter up to the center of the ring instead of climbing the steps. Suffice to say, the crowd went wild. In contrast to Alto’s entrance, pyrotechnics are activated for DC3 and instead of cheers the unicorn was met with boos. This did not deter the veteran as he trotted his way down to the ring with an exaggerated strut. He locked eyes with his nephew who was sitting in the front row, Cookies eyes glistening with light. “Sorry that this didn’t go the way you wanted. Gotta break a few eggs ya know!” DC3 stated to Cookies only to get a raised eyebrow and a wave of his hoof from his nephew. The star-eyed stallion rolls himself into the ring, posing rather seductively for the audience before getting up in an extravagant way. It wasn’t long until he was squared up with Alto. The bell rang. “I’ll go easy on you. First move you make is free, but if you mess up, I’ll have you screaming your lungs out, kid.” DC3 stood center of the ring with a smug grin on his face, tapping his hoof to his face as if to signal Alto to slam a hoof there. Instead, Alto had hooked the unicorn’s hind leg and swiftly rolled him over onto his back. “Dandy Driver!?” The unicorn laughed. “I created this move and I can just as easily get out. You used up your free move, kid!” DC3 tries to roll himself in the opposite direction that Alto rolled him in, only to find him still on the pegasus’s back. It was at this point where the unicorn realized that he has been strapped onto the gargantuan pony’s back using his very large and flexible wings. It was also the same point where DC3 realized he’s being pulled, stretching out his spine as hard as possible. *CRACK* The unicorn yowled in pain. “W-what’s the deal here, Al. No wings. Thems the rules.” He pleaded. “No rules, remember?” *CRRRRRAAAAACK* The screams of pain caused some ponies in the front row to wince. “If that’s how it’ll be. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” The faint sound of magic being ignited could be heard. After which Alto felt a strong pressure around his neck. No pony in the arena could see what was happening, but Alto was being choked. The choking didn’t stop Alto as he took one hop off his front forehoof holding the two up before pulling down as hard as he could. *POP* “UNCLE! UNCLE! UNCLE!” With that said, the pressure strangling the life out of Alto was released, causing the stallion to take a couple of heavy breaths. Both ponies fell to the ground as a bell was rung. The official came up to them to raise one of their hooves. “Here is your winner: ALTO TENOR!” The crowd cheers as EC makes her way down to the ring to assist Alto. The two head on over to Cookies, jumping the barricade as some of the audience makes room for them to make their exit. The match official checked up on DC3 but was pushed to the side by the stallion who supported himself up with the ring ropes and waved over one of the tech crew for a microphone. “Before ya go…” Cookies’ uncle called back at them, causing the trio to turn their heads for a moment. “Before I took ya’ll under my metaphorical wing, ya were sniveling whining babies who couldn’t do something with their lives. And lo and behold, you all stood up for yourselves and abandoned your wonderous teacher… This was all planned by ME to better YOU. I made you STRONGER. I made you FAMOUSER! And I made you BRAVER! And all that took was me being the bad guy in your eyes. So be it! Keep your lives to yourselves but always remember who bettered you. You may have your friendships, but I gotta tell ya I think friendship is weird!”