//------------------------------// // Reconciliation // Story: Lunar Soul // by ShadowedKnight68 //------------------------------// I'm not sure how long I stayed in my bed, after finding out the pony in my nightmare was actually Luna, and that she was responsible for all my nights of suffering, followed by being forced to experience a looping nightmare of Nightmare Moons defeat. I lost count after the sixth time, but I know it continued more, I soon realized waking allowed the pain of the dream to fade, but trapped in the dream the pain only stacked, the only moments to recover where when my body was forced to act out the moments from the episode. Each sore muscle, broken bone forced to move in excruciating pain, while neither were truly there with a fully healed body, the pain remained, eachoes of it seared into my body as it happened over and over again, my mind breaking as my bodies freedom was restricted and forced to move against my will. And then finally it was over, I wooke but found Celestia and Luna themselves in my room... everything was a blur after that, I remember being in someone's arms...it reminded me of my mother's, or maybe just a motherly hold. In the end I blacked out, I felt nothing but peace till she returned...Luna. I could only feel panic as I can through a dark void but like any nightmare I couldn't escape, she spoke to me, admitting to what she did and how it was wrong, and apologizing, I still don't know if I believe or forigive her. I did believe she did it all, just I don't know if I believe she actually was sorry... After that I was slsoowed back into the emptyness thoughtless space, some point I woke, and for the first time in a long time I felt rested, but my mind was still a mess, my body felt recovered, just everything in my head felt worse off. Part of me wondered if I actually was out of the nightmare, there were moments where id blink and fear if open my eyes ro that room in the old castle...but it never came. Not sure how long I just laid in bed, I feel like I remembered the sky turning dark and then light a couple times, if those were clouds or not I couldn't tell, my curtains drawn and with me having no energy to check I just remained there, going in and out of dreamless sleep. I did note when the girls came by, I assumed they'd ask what was wrong however...they didn't... They asked if I needed anything, if I felt like walking, if I felt like eating, talking, etcetera... My guess was Celestia told Twilight what happened or at least I was in a bad spot, she then must have told the others, I was thankful they all were gentle with me, talking, never forcing me to do anything. Yet...I never responded, not with a voice, and barely with a head movement, when Fluttershy asked if I was okay and her hoof touched my exposed hoof I pulled it away back under the blanket, fese for the girls returned to me after such a long time of getting over it...all the work for nothing. Pinkie attempted to cheer me up with jokes, I wanted to smile...I did...But I just couldn't...my mind was tired, but not for sleep, I think I was just tired of thinking, experience things... When Dash asked if I wanted to go flying to clear my head, I thought for s moment, thinking of the sky, I loved flying...a childhood dream come true...but the thought of the wings I was forced to have tainted that dream, with a somber shake of my head Dash backed off, she looked disappointed if not just because her attempt to make me feel better failed...I liked dash, she was nice to me, kind of like a big sister, never had one though so I just had to go off feeling... Next came Applejack, she didn't ask me anything or offer to do anything, she simply sat with me in silence, she chose the route of waiting to see if id say anything in the quiet. I didn't dislike her approach, it actually was comforting in a way like the others, the silence and company even if a bit unwanted was nice. Rarity chose to talk about Sweetie Belle and work, telling how her younger sister got into all kinds of trouble with the rest of the cmc, work involved orders for dresses, and now jer sowijg machine ended up breaking, it did take my mind off my thoughts for a moment, but after a while those thoughts returned and I shuffled in deeper on myself. Finally Twilight took her turn, she read to me, a couple different books, some about magic and promises to teach me spells within, as well as fictional stories, it was one of the Daring Do books, id forgotten Dash and Fluttershy had gifted me a volume, it was somewhere in my house...with the rest of the gifts they'd all gotten me... I'm not sure when they left, nor when they returned, possibly the same day, maybe another, some trying again, others just keeping nesr in case I came out of this, after a while I looked up from the mattresses my head rested on and saw small shadows gently falling past the window, staring s moment, mind slow to process what it could be, I finally lifted myself from the bed and climbed out dragging the blanket over my body like a cloak. Pulling the curtain away I peered out the window and felt myself breathe in sharply a moment. It was snowing...was it that close to winter? I didn't even know, I watched a few snow flakes drift down and land on the windowsill outside, joining the small pile already there, slowly I turned says and moved our of my room and done before I exited my house entering the cold white expanse of winter scape Ponyville. Each breath which left me came out in puffs of white vapor clouds, blinking at the puff which drifted and dispersed above I blew out another, before popping my lips making a small puff, a small smile crossing my face. A snow flakes gently landed upon my muzzle redirecting my attention up as I stared up into the fall fuzzy blanket overhead, I saw so many smoke flakes fall but at a distance it was just grey clouds above. I loved the sound and smell of rain, but watching snow fall had captured my heart long ago on earth, seeing such gentle movements in silence as they fell, it felt... impossible in a way, that something so gentle her vast could be made in clouds. "Blake??" A surprised female voice spoke. My head turned down gently towards the voice and I saw the fashionista mare Rarity standing a couple feet away wearing a white furry cylindrical hat, much like a British guards, on its side three diamonds similar to Rarity's cutie marks, around her neck a furry collar hung, and upon her feet where fur cuffed boots, and a bag which had been floating in her magical grasp before she'd dropped it to her side. after looking her attire over I lifted a hoof and gently waved. She stood in shock before shaking her head and hurrying over only to stop and then continue slower "Darling...it's dreadfully cold out, surely you have more then your blanket?" I gently shook my head. "Right well, let's go back-" she paused looking at the house and was quiet a moment, an expression of worry going across her face before she looked back to me and gently smiled "to the boutique? I'll make you something to help in this chilly weather." I hesitated a moment, thinking back to when she had me try makeup, and my freakout which followed... Rarity apparently noticed as she spoke up "I promise I won't have you try anything you don't want to, Pinkie promise " she raised a hoof smiling. Looking at her then her hoof, and back to her a small smile spread on my lips and I nodded "okay..." My voice softly left my lips barely above a whisper, I sounded a bit no pun intended, hoarse. Rarity smiled s bit wider and began leading me through the snow back to the boutique, upon entering she lesd me to a sitting spot as she let me warm up although I wasn't there cold really, she returned eirh s few things as she began to carefully measure me, every few moments backing off and asking if she could continue which I would nod to give approval. I spent most of the time looking out the nearby window ro watch the snow, not sure how much time passed but Rarity gently called for my attention as she presented the winter clothing, my eyes widening as she showed a mannequin wearing black leg length felt boots, and a black hooded small cloak with a purple underside. Slowly I walked up to it looking over the clothing, Rarity standing nearby anxiously looking between me and her work, I raised my hoof gently feeling the fabric, it felt so soft...I looked to the small mare and her anxiousness grew. "Is...is it not good? I'm sorry, I didn't want to disturb you while I was designing it, so I just went with something that marched your fur and was simple so it isn't too gaudy, as well as making sure it wasn't extremely feminine, perhaps I went roo simple though, and it could be less feminine too.." Rarity worried before suddenly I put my hoof on her shoulder making her look at me. I smiled " no it's...it's incredible Rarity, I love it" Rarity smiled tears welling up in her eyes before she quickly wiped them away "shall I help you into it?" I nodded and let the blanket id been wearing drop as she mahiced the clothing off the mannequin as I lifted each hoof for the boots to pull up and ducked my head for the hooded cloak, walking over to the nearby mirrors I looked at myself, the cloth was just s shade lighter than my fur so it was more noticeable but it blended so well, and the hood felt so comforting over my head, no restriction to my pony eses as well. Smiling I looked to Rarity "thank you Rarity, how much do I owe you?" "Oh please darling, this is free, we're friends...I'd never force you to pay" Rarity waved her hoof smiling. I blinked but didn't argue, id find a way to repay her, instead I decided to change subject "so...where are the girls?" " Oh well let's go find them I'm sure they're at Twilights" Rarity smiled "oh um we can go see if you wish, o-or um...go back to your house to chsr, or or just sit if that's what you want. " "we can go see them" I replied and she nodded walking to the door holding it open for me as I stepped out and felt the warmth of the outfit help with the little cold I had previously felt, it was nice though and I smiled as I looked to Rarity who began leading me down the road, following with her I enjoyed the crunching of snow beneath my booted hooves, gently puffing out vapor as I walked smiling all the way. "Alright once Rarity is back we can go check in Rainbowdash, she really isn't taking Tanks hibernation well" Twilight said looking to her three friends sitting around the cutie map, Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Applejack nodding in agreement. The doors suddenly opened and Rarity trotted "Giiiirls!" She greeted happily as she stepped in. The three smiling before gasping ss following behind was a mare they hadn't seen their house in days! Blake stepped in looking around before looking at them and smiled waving her hoof gently "hi" she walked over to the map wearing a dark hooded cloak and boots. Pinkie jumped out of the sest towards Blake only for Applejack to catch her tank making her stretching forward before rubber band back "don't get overexcited Pinkie, take it slow with her remember??" She whispered. "Ohhh right" pinkie nodded and walked over to Blake "hey Blakey, how are you doing?" "Hm?" Blake asked mid poking at a hologram mountain on the table "oh...snows nice" she smiled. Twilight walked to Rarity "Rarity, how did you get her to come out of her-er his house??" She mentally chided herself for forgetting Blake's pronouns beiffe continuing "We've been trying for days! What worked??" She whispered while trying to hold back a joyful smile at seeing Blake up and about. "I didn't do anything darling, I was going to visit him like I said earlier and then there he was outside! I was about to call him inside to get out of the coodbut then panicked he may go right back to bed, so I offered to make him some winter clothes and he agreed! He even let me help him put it on!" Rarity explained and smiled looking to Blake and the new outfit " I'm happy to say shew cured Twilight." Twilight smiled before frowning "I...don't know Rarity, he might be up but...he doesn't seem to be recovered... remember what Celestia said, the nightmares really really hurt him, he was showing symptoms of depression, It was getting to the point that we may have needed to take her to a hospital, now though she-he is up but he's disoriented, quiet...I've read about this, up days in depression where they aren't feeling so sad, it might not last. " " What? For how long?? " Rarity asked frowninf and looking sadly towards Blakw, she was happy she was finally up. "I don't know, could be just and hour or just the day, maybe even a week, or it could just be gone, but Blake is in a fragile state, anything could send him spiraling..." Twilight frowned before taking a deep breath in "we just need to be there for him, try and keep him from getting worked up." "It's the least we can do for now we've treated him..." Rarity replied somberly. Twilight remembered when Celestia appeared at the castle and told her to assemble her friends, and then told them of Blake's state. ~Days Ago~ "She...she was harming herself..?" Twilight said horrified, similar looks across her fiends faces. Celestia nodded softly "yes...nightmares have plagued her mind since coming here, to the point she's avoided sleep, last night she attempted to confront this and it only got worse...when she awoke she began to hurt herself believing it to be another dream, I was able to stop her but I fesr the dmasge ro her mind might be far worse than the physical injuries she has. " "What can we do?" Twilight asked. " Maybw Luna can help! She's good with dreams, this should be a cake walk for he-" Rainbowdash smiled as she spoke before Celestia cur her off. "No!" Celestia shouted but paused as the ponies around her flinched, taking a deep breath in she calmed herself "Luna is...taking a break from dream walking, recent events transpired resulting in a much needed break, for the safety of ponies...and herself. " "So then what do we do?" Rainbowdash asked. "be there for Blake, ensure she doesn't haem herself by showing you all care for her, you are her friends, and I am certain at this point she's proven she is far from the Nightmare Moon we know, whether she is a new being, or a reformation of the old, we must accept Blake as she is...much like we accept Discord." Celestia stared. " Of course Celestia, we'll do everything we can, as her friends" Twilight replied looking to her friends who all agreed. Celestia nodded "thank you all, I must return to canterlot but if she indeed becomes to unstable, send a letter to me and I shall aid as best I can." Twilight nodded slowly blinking as her memories faded, she looked towards Blake and our on a smile walking over "so Blake anything you'd like to do today?" Blake blinked thinking a moment "well...maybe Dash and I could go flying...my wings ache a bit from laying down so long...where is she anyway?" He looked around for the cyan mare. Twilight's eyes widened remembering their other friend who was currently not in there nes for moods "oh yes, um well she's home dealing with....uhh" she was red sure what to say, if she said Rainbowdash was sad because tank was going to hibernate it could domino effect and make Blake sad too. "Tank going into" " Pinkie squinted looking sound before putting her hooves by her mouhr and whispered " hibernation.." "Pinkie! " Twilight yelled in panic. "what?? " Pinkie looked confused " I whispered so dash wouldn't hear!" "Tank?" Blake asked. "He's her pet tortoise" Fluttershy said. "Tortoise?" Blake responded before giggled softly "fastest pony has slowest pet." Twilight chuckled softly "yes we all did find that funny when she picked him" she glanced at her friends "well, we were going to go see how she's doing, but I'm sure one of us could stay here and keep you company, since I'm sir you don't want to tag along." "I don't mind" Blake smiled. Twilight blinked "are you..." She paused thinking if she forced Blake to stay even for her own good, it could also make him sad, it was really a lose lose situation, sighing internally she smiled "sure! Let's go girls..." The girls exchanged worried looks as they grouped together and Twilight teleported them all to Rainbowdashes house. I blinked my wide eyes as I stared up at the huge house which belonged to Rainbowdash, either I missed something and all pegasus get mansions, or Rainbowdash is rich because none of her friends have houses like this! Well... Twilight did I suppose, I keep forgetting to ask about that, what happened to her free house library? And where did her castle come from? Glancing over to the glimmering rainbow waterfalls another thought came to me...want do raindows feel like? Especially liquid ones? Or were they still light and just looked like liquid...could one taste a raindows..? Taste the rainbow mother fu- "Blake are you coming?" Twilight asked in the doorway as the others had already went in but paused looking back. "Oh yes sorry, thinking about raindows" I trotted after them journeying through the cloud mansion and up the stairs, it was so interesting, while I should be falling through cause it's clouds and it shoulder be freezing, it felt like a normal house, and the stairs were like any stairs, a bit spunge like carpeted stairs. The girls stopped and entered a hallway with me following behind as they gathered st a door, pinkie going past towards a wall making me raise a brow as Fluttershy opened the door and looked inside before entering with Rarity, Applejack, Twilight, and myself following behind. Pinkie trotted through the wall knocking some clouds loose which quickly reformed to an intact wall "🎶knock knock! 🎶" She greeted with a sing song voice. Looking to the bed in the cloud room my eyes landed on the number one flyer lying in bed wearing a purple robe, on her hind hooves were turtle slippers, and her front left arm was wrapped over a tortoise wearing a blue cloud themed robe and Rainbowdash slippers, she looked quite the opposite of the adventurous mare I'd come to know and we'll respect really... The girls trotting up to the bed, Fluttershy smiled sympathetically with the girls mirroring it "how are you feeling Rainbowdash?" "Whatever..." Rainbowdash replied in a broken voice. My ears falling backwards as I felt my heart clench hearing her voice in that state. Her lying in bed like this, depressed...it...it was just like I was... Rarity walked over to Twilight frowning "The poor thing looks so sad! Just what are we doing to do?" "I don't know what we can do." Twilight frowned too. Applejack walked to the side of the bed purring a soft smile on "Buck up, Sugarcube, You just ain't yourself these days." "Whatever..." Rainbowdash repeated despondently. "Uh, how can I say this tactfully...? You've lost your sparkle, Rainbow Dash." Rarity said hesitantly at first. "I hate to say this, but, well..." Pinkie began looking like she was about to deliver heartbreaking news as she covered her mount with her hooves before she moved close to the bed and whispered "you've become..."A party pooper!" Rainbow Dash frowned lifting her head to look at them "Didn't you hear me? I said 'whatever', I don't know if you're here to cheer me up or what, but I'm fine." Shed sat up to speak to them before turning away again and lied down with more annoyance in her voice. I couldn't help but feel the same annoyance, how could they all just...Just tell her to feel better?? She was obviously depressed and their answer to it was just her over it?! "Let me handle this." Fluttershy walked to Dash eyes closed "Rainbow Dash, your winter is going to be pet-less." She stated matter of factly. Rainbowdash's ears sprung up and she sat up looking to Fluttershy staring before her eyes teared up and her lip quivered and hooves pulling up to her chest until she burst out sobbing, picking Tank up looking at him as she took in a couple gasps before sobbing more huffing the tortious "Whatever did you do that for?!" Rarity asked from behind Twilight. "Because she'll never get past this until she lets it all out." Fluttershy said in my opinion remorselessly. I looked between Fluttershy and the still sobbing Raindowdash feeling my heart cracking and breaking more and more. Twilight looked to Applejack and lit her horn before pushing the orange mare forward, said mare looking back with furrowed brows, Twilight just waving her to Dash. Applejack looks back towards Dash and walking over "Uh... it's okay. Tank'll come back in a few months."" She said awkwardly obviously not used to dealing with a pony in this state. Rainbowdash opened her eyes wide "Months?!" She cried out "I don't want him to go!" She sobbed kicking her hind legs. Applejack looked uncomfortable before petting Dawn "Alright, alright, There, there." She moved to Fluttershy putting her hoof to the side of her muzzle to quiet herself as she whispered "Nice going, Fluttershy, How do we get her to stop?" " She's got to be about done by now. Can't be too much left in there." Fluttershy whispered back. I turned the two mares out as realization hit me, they said Tank was hibernating but I was now understanding that if this were an episode this would be a metaphor for loosing a pet and how to deal with those emotions... Rainbowdash sniffled and wiped her nose as she stopped crying, Fluttershy walking over to her and getting up on the bed to sit by her "Feeling better?" Fluttershy asked. Rainbowdash sniffled and nodded "Uh-huh..." She then teared up before resuming her sobbing. Fluttershy teared up "Oh, you poor, poor thing..." She then began crying and hugged dash. Rarity's eyes steamed up "I can't bear to see Fluttershy cry!" She began walking over to the two crying mares. Pinkie Pie teared up as well as she walked over "It's just heart-wrenching!" Applejack tilted her hat to hide her eyes. Twilight looked to her "You too?!" Applejack lifted her her back up fine now "Nope, I'm good." "Oh Jesus" I growled as my horn lit up and grabbed the three mares pulling them off Raindowdash and pushed them to Twilight and Applejack before walking over. Twilight looked wide eyed "Blake...you just-" "Shh!" I shushed and walked to the side of the bed "...Dash...I.." I took a deep breath in and let it out "I know...how hard it is to...to say goodbye, back home...I lost my pet cat because he got sick...and..." I stared down at the bed not really rounding on it but rather in as my thoughts went back to that moment, sitting in the privacy room as I held my cat in my arms "I-I had to say goodbye to him that day...it still hurts to think about that day...and it will...for a long time...but I still smile when I think about him because I remember the happy times we had together..." I climbed onto the bed lying beside Dash "I know...it's not the same, not saying it is, but I know your strong, and I know...even if it will hurt...you need to do it...for both you and Tank, and...Tank will be okay, because he learned to be tough just like you" I smiled softly as I held back tears in my eyes, wrapping my wing around her. Rainbowdash sniffled looking to me staring into my eyes for a moment before she wiped her nose calming down while tears gently ran down her cheeks "It's alright, Blake, It's alright." The girls smiled as they calmed down as well, Applejack walking up to Twilight whispering "You think she's done or just getting a third wind?" "I don't know..." Twilight said to Applejack before looking towards dash "Rainbowdash? Are you okay?" Rainbowdash set Tank down and I moved off the bed as she got up and stood sniffling taking in choked breaths "I think so." She smiled softly "I feel better, Really, I do, Thanks, everypony, I don't know what I'd do without you." Her smile began to quiver as tears returned to her eyes, she looked back towards Tank who crawled to her on the bed, her smiling falling as her voice broke more "Or him..." She sniffled "Oh, Tank... I'm sure gonna miss you." She crouched down in her knees putting her hooves in the edge of the bed as she looked at Tank. The tortious slowly putting his foot on her hoof as they touched heads. I looked up at the ceiling taking in a shaky breath, Dash didn't need someone else crying in her time if need, right now it was her time to cry. We all stood back in the ground as we each were adorned in winter gear, Applejack stood by a pile of snowballs. "Well, guess we're starting winter with a bang." Twilight remarked. Applejack muffled a snow ball on her hoof before sliding it into the air "The fun's come early! Yee-haw!" Pinkie dodged the oncoming snow ball by falling backwards into the snow and began making a snow angel "You think we could mess up winter every year? It's way less work!" "Uh, I don't think Rainbowdash could handle it." Twilight smiled softly looking to Pinkie and then to the approaching Raindowdash. "Riding that entire season from Cloudsdale to Ponyville was pretty awesome." Dash said smiling as she walked up Tank cradled in her saddlebags. Tank yawning and stretching. "I thought you guys might like to say goodbye to Tank, He's ready to hibernate." Rainbowdash added. " Ooh, you're using the word! Oh, she's using the word!" Pinkie cheered and hurried over to Rainbowdash "and when Tank finishes hibernating, I'm gonna throw him the biggest welcome home party ever! Or wait. Should it be a 'welcome above ground' party? Or a 'happy wake-up' party? Maybe an 'it's about time!' party!" Rarity walked over "And I'll design him a very special suit just for the occasion, whichever one it ends up being." "I'm glad you're feelin' a little better, Rainbow Dash." Applejack smiled. "Yeah, me too." Dash smiled walking to a snowbank and dug into it till she got to dirt below. Tank crawling over slowly and pushing himself into the dirt before smiling up at Dash "So, you really wanna do this hibernating thing, huh?" Tank nodded smiling. "Goodbye, Tank." Rarity said. "Happy winter." Fluttershy replied. "See you later, little feller." Applejack said. "Have a good sleep, Tank!" Pinkie waved. "Goodbye, Tank! We'll miss you!" Twilight smiled. "Cya bud" I softly smiled Tank pulled dirt and snow up burying himself. Raindowdash teared up slightly but held strong. Twilight walked up to dash putting her hoof to her shoulder comforting her "Well? Ready for some winter fun?" "Uh, I'm gonna hang here and read to him a bit. That little guy can never get to sleep without a bedtime story." Rainbowdash walked over and sat down beside the door spike was buried as she pulled a book out from her saddlebags "I'll be right there." Twilight smiled and turned following her friends away. I followed after glancing back at Dash "she's a tough girl, she'll be alright." Twilight nodded "since your feeling better, maybe we could talk about you doing magic back at Raindowdash's" "I did?" I asked before suddenly remembering "I did!! I-I just did it without thinking!" "That's usually how magic works sometimes, we can try as hard as we want but when we just go with instincts it usually works." "Wow!" I felt so excited, first flight now magic?? "think we can get started on magic lessons again? I think I'm ready now." "Sounds good to me, but let's enjoy this winter for a bit before we start" Twilight smiled. I nodded as I followed her to the others 'maybe things wouldn't be so bad?'