French Narrator: Ah, Bikini Bottom, truly a wonderous place to live. It is here, we see ze citizens of zis town going about zeir daily lives. But, our story is not centered around zem, my friends. No, it is centered around our star, ze one, and only... SpongeBob Squarepants. Let us see him go about his day, oui?
SpongeBob tossed and turned in his bed furiously.
"No, no," he muttered in his sleep. "Why is it closed, why is the Krusty Krab closed? AND WHY AM I STUCK IN THE WRINGER AGAIN!?"
Just then, the foghorn clock honked at him, launching his blanket from his body.
"Oh, phew," SpongeBob sighed in relief. "Just a bad dream. But, now that my nightly terror is over... I'M READY!"
The yellow sea sponge jumped out of bed with an exuberant cry which woke up his pet snail, Gary.
"Meow." Gary meowed at being woken up.
"Good morning to you too, Gary," SpongeBob replied. "What a beautiful day in Bikini Bottom!"
With that, SpongeBob leapt into action. After taking a bath, and putting on his pants/shirt combo, SpongeBob settled himself down to a nice breakfast of kelp bacon, kelp ham, eggs, and sandtoast (his personal favorite back at the Hamalot restaurant down at Goo Lagoon). Once Breakfast was over, he skipped his way to work.
"I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready-eddy-eddy-eddy-eddy-ready!" he chanted as he went.
Squidward Tentacles was in a more miserable mood than usual. He had a decent weekend at least, what with SpongeBob and his moronic best friend Patrick Star out of town during the weekend for the annual Jellyfishing Convention. But, like all good things, it was destined to end. He at least made sure to head down to the Krusty Krab early to give him a head start from the yellow headache that was his neighbor.
"Well, I've been walking for a bit," he muttered somewhat optimistic. "Maybe I might make it to work without having to have a conversation with-"
"HIIII, SQUIDWAAAAARD~!"
Of course, the idiot found him.
"Well, it was good while it lasted... for three minutes." Squidward groaned.
"So," SpongeBob asked him as he got a bit too close to the octopus' comfort zone. "How was your weekend? Oh, did you miss me and Patrick?"
Squidward gave the sponge a peripheral glare. "No."
"Not even a little bit?"
"No," Squidward replied again. "In fact, it was probably the best weekend of my life since I didn't have to listen to you or that dimwit Patrick for three whole days."
If SpongeBob could register that, he didn't exactly show it. He just kept giving Squidward the same, idiotic, buck-toothed grin he always did.
"We're gonna have so much fun at the Krusty Krab today," SpongeBob beamed. "What are you looking forward to?"
"Easy," Squidward replied in his typical deadpan voice as they reached the doors of the Krusty Krab, not noticing it was surrounded by five, familiar, red buses. "Trying to ignore you."
SpongeBob paused with wide eyes... before bursting out into his signature laugh.
"That's a good one, Squidward!"
Squidward just grumbled and opened up the greasy spoon's doors... only to get hit by a flood of anchovies.
"Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep!" they all chanted.
"WHAT THE-!?" Squidward exclaimed in shock.
"Back! Back, ye hungry fiends! Ye'll all be fed!"
SpongeBob and Squidward could hear their boss, Eugene H. Krabs, over the meeping anchovies and poked their heads in to see the crab standing on the register boat, wielding a chair and a whip like a lionfish tamer. The owner and proprietor of the Krusty Krab then noticed his employees standing in the threshold, specifically SpongeBob.
"SpongeBob, me boy," he cried in relief. "Thank Neptune yer here! It's an anchovy feedin' frenzy! I need ye in the kitchen, ON THE DOUBLE!"
"Aye-Aye, Captain!" SpongeBob cried with a salute before making a dash for the kitchen, all the while avoiding anchovies. Squidward, in the mean time, just sauntered over to the register and plopped down and sighed. This was not how he wanted to spend the day, even less than when the Krusty Krab wasn't being besieged by anchovies... again.
"Go, SpongeBob," he grumbled sarcastically while he read his clarinet catalogue. "You've got this... or whatever."
SpongeBob walked into the kitchen and straightened out his hat as he did. He turned on the grill and walked over to a box welded to the kitchen wall next to it with the words, written in bright, red letters.
IN CASE OF ANCHOVY EMERGENCY
SpongeBob opened up the box, revealing what appeared to be an ordinary spatula... until he pushed a button on the handle, causing two more heads to appear on the port and starboard sides.
"Yeah." SpongeBob whispered with a determined look. "Let's get cookin'."
With that, the yellow sponge whipped into action, the spatula's extra heads acting as helicopter blades which allowed him to chop up lettuce, cheese, onions, and tomatoes into sheets. He went into the freezer to retrieve mountains of Krabby Patties which he hurled onto the grill. With lightning speed, he flipped the undersea burgers until they were grilled to perfection and layered them each accordingly. He flung armfuls of pickles into the water, each one landing perfectly on the assembled patties. SpongeBob later lined up each assembled patty in rows of ten by hundred, next to the condiments and squirted each one with a dollop of mayonnaise, ketchup, mustard, and secret sauce.
"PATTIES IN THE HOLE!" he cried as he catapulted the patties out the kitchen window on each waiting anchovy's plate.
The anchovies, after having their bellies full of Krabby Patties exited the Krusty Krab with smiles on their faces and boarded the buses they came upon. SpongeBob blew on the special spatula's heads like it was a gun and flung it back in its box. He exited the kitchen to see Mr. Krabs hauling away five wheelbarrows, each one full of mountains of dollars so high, they nearly touched the ceiling.
"Excellent job as always, me bucko!" Mr. Krabs congratulated. "Ye saved the restaurant and filled me pockets with more money than I can count. I can always depend on ye, SpongeBob."
"Aw, it's nothing, Mr. Krabs," SpongeBob smiled bashfully. "Just doing my job."
"Just fer yer efforts," the crab said. "I'm gonna let ye and Squidward off early. So, I can count me loot."
"But, Mr. Krabs," SpongeBob pleaded, not ready to leave work just as soon as he arrived. "The day's still young. I don't think Squidward and I could bear leaving work so early! Right, Squidward? Squidward?"
As soon as SpongeBob had turned his head, he noticed the octopus making a beeline for the doors, laughing at the top of his lungs.
"FREEDOM! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! Have fun having a boring rest of the day, SpongeBob," he waved off mockingly. "I've got a clarinet at home just DYING for me to play it! WHOOO-HOO-HOO-HOOO!!!"
"Well," SpongeBob said, still a bit apprehensive about leaving so early. "I guess I could leave. See you tomorrow, Mr. Krabs."
"No ye won't, SpongeBob." Mr. Krabs answered. "It's Sunday, remember? We're closed that day."
"Oh, right. How could I forget." SpongeBob was starting to get bummed out. "Well, see you next week."
"Take care, SpongeBob."
However, unbeknownst to them, their conversation was being watched by a telescope protruding from the restaurant across the Krusty Krab, the Chum Bucket. Or, more specifically, being watched by its owner; the evil yet diminutive Sheldon J. Plankton.
"Yes, savor your victory while you can, KRABS!" he snarled. "For I now have a surefire way to claim your precious Krabby Patty Secret Formula and soon, I will rule all of Bikini Bottom, AND THEN THE WORLD!"
He deactivated the telescope and let out a fiendish laugh... which fizzled out when he noticed his computer wife, Karen, wasn't laughing along with him... as usual.
"You know, you could be a bit more supportive," he told her.
"Well, sorry," Karen replied sarcastically. "It's just that I've heard this spiel millions of times that I know it like the back of my hard-drive; first you come up with some huge, overly ambitious scheme, then you nearly succeed, only to crash and burn in the most humiliating way possible. It's happened so many times, I even have a bingo card on the ways you're gonna fail."
Sure enough, she even showed him said bingo card. Even more humiliating was how she had already filled in the free space.
"So far, I'm betting on you getting squished underfin, second degree burns, or flushed down the toilet."
"But this plan is different, oh beloved yet faithless computer wife," Plankton explained. "For I will launch myself into SpongeBob and lay low inside of him until he goes into the Krusty Krab for work. Then, I will sneak into Krabs' vault, and steal the secret formula from under his stupid nose, and then, oh and then, I WILL RULE THE WORLD! HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA... Ha... ha... ha... ha... ha."
He gave his wife a deadpan stare.
"You could at least laugh along with me, you know."
"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha." Karen "laughed" in a deadpan tone that would make Squidward proud. And Plankton wondered why they got married in the first place.
"Just out of curiosity," Karen asked. "How do you plan on sneaking into SpongeBob anyway? He knows you want to steal the formula anyway, so good luck asking him to put you inside of him."
Plankton smirked at his wife.
"That's where this baby comes in," he announced walking over and pulling of the tarp of what looked like an old-timey cannon.
"A cannon?" Karen asked, raising an LCD eyebrow.
"Correct, Karen!" Plankton replied. "With this cannon, I shall launch myself into SpongeBob and wait until the right moment. Er, I did mention that little detail, right?"
"Yes." Karen replied before playing back a recording of Plankton's plan to him.
Just then, Plankton noticed SpongeBob leaving the Krusty Krab and his eye widened. His window, both literally and figuratively, was closing fast. It was now or never.
"Quickly, Karen," he ordered. "Open up the window and aim the cannon! I'll try to fire when he's not moving!"
Plankton jumped into the cannon and, using a remote control, scooted its muzzle close to the window just as SpongeBob had started turning the corner, only stopping to tie his shoelaces.
"Perfect." Plankton purred. "FIRE!"
BOOM!
The cannon shot Plankton out... with him covered in soot.
"Ouch." Plankton muttered as he sailed toward the yellow sponge. He made a mental note to himself just as he reached one of SpongeBob's holes: add less gunpowder to the cannon.
"And that should be about... it," SpongeBob murmured as he tightened his laces. He then paused as he felt like something had gone inside of him. He tapped the side of his head but, when nothing came out, he shrugged and went off on his merry way, remembering Mrs. Puff was doing a Saturday test.
Plankton sighed in relief after having clung to the edges of the hole he had landed in. A few more taps and his grip would've loosened and his plan would fall apart. He chuckled darkly to himself. His plan was going exactly as he had intended. Now, he had to make sure it stayed that way.
Mrs. Puff beamed with pride as she presented the renewed driver's license to Old Man Jenkins. The elderly fish had just completed his Saturday test with flying colors. And it only took him forty tries in the past twelve months.
"Congratulations, Mr. Jenkins," she told him. "Here is your freshly renewed license. Now, try not to cause too much damage when you're back on the road... again."
"Hee hee hee hee!" Jenkins cackled as he drove off in his old-timey, broken down boat. "Look out, Bikini Bottom, Old Man Jenkins is back behind the wheel. YEEE-HAWWW!"
He raced off, kicking up a cloud of smoke right in the pufferfish's face, sending her into a coughing fit. Mrs. Puff sighed as she checked off the list of people she had seen today. It would soon be time to close down the Boating School for the day and she, thankfully, hadn't seen a glimpse or heard the laughter of-
"HI, MRS. PUFF!"
SpongeBob.
"SpongeBob?" she asked in shock. "Wh-why are you here? Shouldn't you be at work?"
"Oh, I got let off early today," SpongeBob replied.
"Oh," Mrs. Puff said, a nervous smile starting to appear on her face after hearing what her #1 problem student told her. "Y-You don't say. How, horrifying, I MEAN NICE! How... nice."
"So, I decided I can finally do one of these Saturday classes and get my boating license!" SpongeBob cried as he hopped into an empty boat.
"Well, what're ya waiting for, Mrs. Puff?" he cried out. "I'm not gonna get my license with you standing there!"
Mrs. Puff groaned but walked over to the passenger's seat. Once she was in the boat, she pulled out her clipboard and sighed.
"Well, SpongeBob," she muttered, knowing all too well what was going to happen next. "Let's just... get this over with."
"You got it, Mrs. P!" SpongeBob cried as he turned the key.
(French Narrator: One disastrous boating test later...)
SpongeBob had at least remembered how to correctly park the boat. Both he and Mrs. Puff's eyes were widened. Before them, the Boating School lay in ruins. The lighthouse's upper floors were cut in half and dangling precariously, the track was torn up like someone had taken a jackhammer to the roads and dragged it along with them, the school looked as though someone had driven a bulldozer down the center, and worst of all, the other boats were totaled beyond repair, some of them, somehow stacked on top of each other like a playing card house. This level of destruction was never possible on weekday tests.
"Ummm, well." SpongeBob muttered, still shocked at the carnage that lay before him. "Ummm, see you next week, Mrs. Puff. Heh-heh-heh."
With that, SpongeBob opened the driver's door and walked away. As he closed the door, a piece of debris fell on Mrs. Puff's head, causing her to inflate. Puff's eyes dropped into a deadpan stare.
"I wonder if it's too late to skip town." she muttered.
All the while a single voice could be heard from the wreckage.
"My leg!" Fred cried out in pain. "My leg...!"
Next up, SpongeBob had gone over to Sandy's Treedome. He made sure to fill his bowl with water so he wouldn't dry out from exposure to the air inside the Texan squirrel's domicile. However, the moment he reached the Treedome, something was wrong. It was filled with what looked like mist and unnatural sounds. Sounds belonging to something big, mean, and alive.
"Uh, Sandy...?" SpongeBob asked as he got in for a better look.
*WHAM*
Sandy was slammed against the face of the dome by a purple, gnarled tentacle wrapped around her waist. He couldn't see what it was attached to, but he had a fairly good idea about what it was.
"Oh, howdy, SpongeBob!" Sandy greeted him as if nothing was wrong. "Sorry, ah can't hang out t'day. Trudy got out of her cage again and she's ornerier than a rattlesnake in the dog days a' Summer."
"Do you need any help?" SpongeBob asked.
"Naw," Sandy shook her head. "Ah got 'er in her cage once and Ah can do it again."
She pulled out a large cattleprod and zapped the tentacle, causing Trudy to roar in pain and drop her.
"Now, if y'all excuse me..." Sandy said sweetly, while holding the prod like a sword. "Trudy, time ta be a good girl and get back in yer cage."
In response, eleven more tentacles emerged from the mist attached to a vaguely feline silhouette with four, glowing eyes glaring at the squirrel. Sandy let out a battle cry and charged at the scientific abomination, disappearing into the mist with only their silhouettes being visible through the flashes of the squirrel's cattleprod.
"DON'T MAKE ME GET MR. NIGHT-NIGHT AGAIN!!" Sandy could be heard shouting over the sounds of fighting.
"Well," SpongeBob sighed. "You do that, Sandy."
He then walked off and let the squirrel and her sin against nature settle things out. He was getting kind of peckish and, what better way than to stave off an empty stomach than some ice cream down at Goofy Goober's Ice Cream Party Boat. He had settled for the Nut Bar and was poking at his Triple Gooberberry Sunrise with his spoon.
"Hey, buddy," the waiter asked him. "Are you gonna eat that or just keep pokin' it?"
"I'll eat it," SpongeBob told him. "I'm just having a moment, that's all."
The waiter rolled his eyes and walked away. Just then, a familiar voice rang out.
"Hi, SpongeBob!"
It was Patrick. The pink starfish took a seat next to his friend. He then ordered TGS just like SpongeBob and began to greedily dig into it, sending splatters of ice cream all across the room, save the waiter who preemptively opened up an umbrella.
"So," Patrick said. "What's up with you?"
SpongeBob scooped up some ice cream and put it in his mouth. Once he swallowed he sighed.
"I'm just bored, Patrick."
"Bored?" Patrick asked whilst licking his bowl for melted ice cream. "What's there to be bored about?"
"Well, I got off work early today for starters," SpongeBob explained. "Then I went to try the Saturday driving test and failed, and Sandy had her hands full at her dome. Hey, Patrick?"
"Yeah, buddy?"
"Do you ever think I could do... more in my life than just go to work, go to boating school, and eat Triple Gooberberry Sunrises?"
"What," Patrick asked. "You mean like eat... Quadruple Gooberberry Sunrises?"
"That's not what I mean, Pat."
"Quintuple Gooberberry Sunrises?"
"No, not that either."
"You mean-?"
"No, Patrick," SpongeBob sighed. "This has nothing to do with Gooberberry Sunrises. I mean, do you ever have the feeling of something grand just waiting to call out to you... only to find out it doesn't even have your number?"
"I... think so." Patrick said before blanking out. "What was the question again?"
SpongeBob just sighed and took two more bites out of his ice cream.
"Never mind."
"Maybe your answer lies in a song." Patrick announced, pulling out a pitch pipe and blowing into it.
Patrick: (singing) When-
"Ahem!"
The song was interrupted by the waiter grumpily pointing to a bright, yellow sign on the Nut Bar's threshold that read "No singing/dancing in the Nut Bar".
"Well, my point is, SpongeBob," Patrick told him. "Your call to something grand may be just around the corner. Or that corner, or that corner, or that corner, or that one, or that one, or that one, or that one, or-"
"I think I get it, Patrick," SpongeBob said, noticing his friend was starting to sound like a broken record.
"That's the spirit, buddy," beamed Patrick as he lightly punched his friend's shoulder while his eyes slowly trailed to SpongeBob's barely touched sundae.
"So," he inquired. "Are you gonna eat that or-?"
SpongeBob slid his sundae over to Patrick and walked off.
"I'm going home, Pat," SpongeBob told his friend. "See you tomorrow."
Patrick waved his friend goodbye, his cheeks still filled with ice cream.
The rest of the day was as uneventful as it went after SpongeBob returned to his pineapple. Even though it was still twilight, he felt more tired than ever. At the moment, the best thing he could do was just curl up in bed. He went up the stairs, having traded his shirt/pants for nightclothes and a cap. Gary was tucked in underneath his arm as they entered the bedroom.
"Well, Gary," he told his snail. "Today's been a draining day. But, who knows? Maybe tomorrow will be more exciting."
"Meow." Gary replied.
However, just when they entered the bedroom, the unexpected happened.
"Hey, Gary?" SpongeBob asked as they came upon a swirling, blue vortex hovering on the ceiling. "Has that always been there?"
"Meow."
"Yeah, I thought so."
Just then, a giant, multi-colored object fell out of it and landed on his bed. The sponge and snail exchanged glances and cautiously walked up to the gem.
"Meow?" Gary inquired his owner.
"I dunno, Gare-Bear," SpongeBob replied. "It looks like it might be... a paperweight."
"Meow?" Gary asked in a way that sounded like he was saying "seriously?"
"Yeah, you got a point there, Gary." SpongeBob replied noting that the "paperweight" was the size of a football. "Besides, why would the powers that be send us a giant paperweight in the first place?"
He picked up the object, noting it to be rather light despite its size. Just then, there was a flash of light and then a female voice.
"Hello? Can you hear us?"
SpongeBob, having his eyes readjusted to the flash, saw the source of the voice; four, ethereal, equine heads, one that was white with a pink tinge in color with a mane that looked like an "aurora borealis" thing Sandy talked about from the surface, a dark blue one with a mane that resembled the night sky, complete with stars and galaxies, one that was a deeper pink with a pink, purple, and yellow patterned mane, and one that was lavender with a dark purple, indigo, and red streaked mane.
The white head spoke up first.
"Hello," she spoke. "I hope we didn't startle you but-"
"Oh my gosh," SpongeBob whispered in shock, dropping the object. "GHOSTS THAT LOOK LIKE FLOATING, DISEMBODIED HORSE HEADS!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"
"Umm," the purple head cleared her throat. "We're not ghosts and we're not floating heads."
"We are transmitting a message through the Summoner Opal." the blue one spoke.
"Well, what do you want with me?" SpongeBob asked.
"We're calling you because we want your help." the pink one told him.
"An evil force that threatened our world is returning and could bring doom to us all." the white head explained.
"We're calling you because you and your friends might be the only ones capable of averting such a catastrophe." the purple head added.
"Well, why me?" SpongeBob asked.
"To be honest," the pink one said. "We need all the help we can get and you fit the bill."
"The question is," the blue one asked. "Are you willing to help us?"
SpongeBob thought for a moment. On the one hand, he was probably throwing himself, and his friends, in harm's way. However, on the other hand, this may have been the call he was waiting for, to do something grand and exciting as well as selfless. And if it wasn't the call, it was certainly a call, and who was he to ignore a call for help? Wasn't that what heroes like Mermaid Man, Barnacle Boy, or the International Justice League of Super Acquaintances were built around answering calls for help? He made his decision.
"I'll do it," SpongeBob told them. "Tomorrow."
"Why tomorrow?" the white head asked.
"Well, because it's late," SpongeBob explained. "And my friends are probably fast asleep by now, and I need to sleep too, sooo..."
"Then it's settled," the purple head nodded. "See you and your friends tomorrow, Mister, uh... what's your name?"
"The name is Squarepants," the yellow sponge replied. "SpongeBob Squarepants."
"Very well," the white head nodded. "Before we leave, our names are Celestia, Luna, Cadence, and Twilight. A bit late in giving our names, but, better than never."
"Until then, rest easy," Luna told him. "You will need it, SpongeBob Squarepants."
With that, the heads faded away into mist and the Summoner Opal's glow vanished. SpongeBob gave a salute and hopped into bed, preparing for the big day that would soon follow. But, a thought occurred to him. How in Neptune's name was he going to convince his friends to come along?