Twilight wasn’t a nervous pony.
…
Okay. That was a bold-faced lie.
Right now, Twilight was more nervous than she had ever been in her entire life.
“How do I look?” Twilight fussed, tugging and pulling on her light blue dress. “I need to be perfect!”
“Calm down, Twi.” Rainbow floated overhead, straightening out the dress frills that Twilight was unsmoothening due to her rapidly deteriorating mental condition. “Be careful with this! I had to be really careful around Rarity to get this dress made. I don’t think she knows what’s happening.”
“Good!” Twilight said sharply. “I hope she doesn’t know! B-But- What if I don’t look good? What if he rejects me on the spot?” Twilight wobbled back and forth, putting a hoof on her head. Rainbow’s only response was an exasperated sigh. It had been like this ever since she got back to Twilight. Rainbow found her… researching. Researching stallions. Let’s end that there.
“I don’t think this dress can look bad.” Rainbow observed. It was simple, really. Just a plain light blue dress that covered most of her body. Basically a piece of cloth hastily joined together. “Besides, this is a learning process. So what if he rejects you? If anything goes wrong, you can just call on us. Me and Spike will be right outside.”
“Bananza!” Twilight yelled sharply. “Code word Bananza!”
“Code word?” Rainbow asked. “I don’t… I don’t think he’s a serial killer or anything.”
“I need a safe word! And that safe word is Bananza!”
“I mean…” Rainbow shrugged. “Alright. If it makes you feel comfortable.” Rainbow turned around, witnessing Spike making his way to the duo holding a large amount of make-up. The boxes were stacked higher than he was, but it seemed like his years of book-holding experience paid off as he expertly deposited the stack down infront of Twilight. He popped open the top box, grabbing a brush, and began to pepper Twilight. She blinked a few times, figuring out that the best way to get through this is to breathe slowly.
“Spike?” Rainbow asked, hovering in front of Twilight. “You know how to do make-up?”
“Well, duh.” He shrugged, pushing the brush into her cheeks. “I grew up with Twilight. I had to sit through one too many make-up sessions.” He shuddered. “She kept calling me ‘Spines.’ I don’t look back on those days fondly.”
“I think you make a very pretty girl dragon-” Twilight began. Spike’s response was to pepper make-up directly onto her snout, making her uncontrollably sneeze. He gave her a stare, to which Twilight decided not talking about their make-up sessions from eight years ago was a better idea.
Rainbow looked over her shoulder and towards the clock. It was seven-thirty. Half an hour ‘till they needed to be there. It was only two blocks down the street, five minute walk at a snails pace. Rainbow sighed, watching as Spike expertly dabbed a puff in a slightly reddish-pink powder. Twilight scrunched her face in distress.
She watched as Twilight began scratching her fetlock with her hoof.
What is with her and scratching? Rainbow though to herself. She also watched as Spike stopped dabbing for a moment, looking down at her hoof. Gently, he nudged Twilight’s fetlock. It took her a second, but she stopped itching soon after. Some kind of tick? She thought. Maybe.But Rainbow couldn’t help but think it cute. Just the dynamic between a dragon and a pony being siblings was adorable, but especially Twilight and her quirks. Quirks was the right word for it.
Rainbow let out a content sigh as she glanced up at the clock. For some reason, she didn’t feel particularily antsy. She just enjoyed watching Twilight getting prettied up. It was oddly relaxing, and not at all like herself.
“Hold still, Twi!” Spike chatsized, pulling at her eyelashes with a mascara pen. “I don’t want to stab you!”
“It’s hard! I just see a pointy thingy going straight for me!”
“Try. Please.” Spike begged with a certain face that Rainbow almost melted at. Not that she would ever admit that the face got her.
“I-” Twilight sighed. “Fine. I’ll… try.”
Rainbow glanced down. Twilight’s hoof twitched for a moment. That was strange.
Caramel wasn’t a nervous pony.
…
Okay. That was a bold-faced lie.
Right now, Caramel was more nervous than he had ever been in his entire life.
He tugged at the suit he was wearing, specificially around the neck. It was a dashing black, complete with a red tie that partially obscured his blue choker, which was now starting to hum ominously. He nervously glanced around at the other patrions of the resturaunt. They were all enjoying their meals, while he was drumming his hooves against the table impatiently.
Had he been stood up? No. The time was 7:59. There was still a minute left. He had to calm down. He took a deep breath in, deep breath out. Deep breath in, deep breathe out. Worst comes to worst, he walked out looking a little bit dumb from being stood up by a mare he wasn’t sure even existed in the first place.
No- scratch that. He knew she existed. Just- Rainbow Dash could’ve lied to him! Set him up for- what, a prank? Why would she joke about something like this? If he was going to be dating anypony else, he wouldn’t have been half as nervous.
And then the door opened.
Caramel swallowed his spit, watching as the most beautiful mare of his dreams walked into the luxurious resturaunt. She asked a waiter a question, and the thin-stached stallion pointed towards his table, her eyes not too far behind. Caramel jumped a bit when they made eye-contact. A beat of sweat rolled over his brow as he offered the most convincing smile he could.
And Twilight smiled back! Like she didn’t see though him! Alhough, to be fair, judging by the expression on Twilight’s face, she was almost equally as nervous. Which, strangely, made him feel better.
Twilight approached the table, and Caramel couldn’t help but notice how pretty she looked. For a moment, he was left in awe, his mouth open as he kept staring. And staring. And- Caramel forced himself to stop staring as he put his hooves in his lap.
“M-May I take a seat?” She asked with a wary smile.
“S-Sure. Go ahead, heh?” He laughed, putting an elbow on the table and leaning forwards. Then taking the elbow back off the table. “I- I mean, it’s not like you have to ask for permission, being… being Princess Celestia’s- I mean- not that it’s okay- or- okay.” Caramel forced himself to take a deep breath. “Hi.” He said dumbly as Twilight sat down.
“Yes. Hello.” She responded roboticly, using her magic to straighten out the already straightened silverware. She started rapidly looking around at the restaurant, seemingly putting her eyes anywhere other than the stallion in front of her. Caramel felt his mood rapidly deflate.
I’m ruining this already. He thought sadly, pushing a fork with his hooves. C’mon! Talk, you stud!
“So.” He said quietly. “What do you- um- do?” It seemed to do the trick as Twilight turned to look at him. She seemed to sprout a geninue smile as she began talking.
“I’m basically still a student.” She explained, putting her hooves onto the table. “I get a stipend from Princess Celestia to continue my studies in Ponyville. I’ve published over a dozen studies on various topics. Unfortunately, I’m not very focused right now. I mean, I might write a paper about the effects of plant-based-meat on carnivores, the next I’m writing a study about the possible secret affair between Clover the Clever and Commander Hurricane with a genealogy spell to back it up.” She laughed. “I guess I still have learning to do.” She looked back at Caramel. “What about you?”
“Oh.” He nudged a fork. “I’m a general contractor.”
…
“Oh.” She laughed awkwardly. “Of course. No- yeah, that sounds important.” That came out a little more rude than she meant it to. If Caramel noticed, he didn’t show it. Mainly because he just constantly looked a little nervous.
“Do you think I fit in?” He blurted out. Twilight blinked, looking a little confused. “With the other contractors, I mean. Like- other stallions. Do I fit in?”
“I think so, yeah.” She nodded.
Twilight started scratching her wrist as she turned to look outside one of the many windows in the establishment. There, with their faces pushed all the way against the glass was a familiar duo. Twilight’s eyes went a little large as she turned to look back at Caramel. He seemed preoccupied with pushing around a fork on the table, so she looked back. Using her magic, she forced a blind overhead to fall down, covering their faces. She whipped her head back as Caramel looked back up at the sound of a curtian being drawn.
“What was that?” He asked.
“Nothing!” Twilight said. Caramel shrugged. Now, she noticed that he was giving her a little look. Not anything malicious, but rather an almost confused look. Her mouth stretched wide as she smiled nervously as the hunking massive stallion stared at her. “Is… everything okay?” She asked.
“You… can see me, right?” He asked.
“What? Of course I can see you.” She laughed awkwardly. “Right?”
“Right.” He agreed. “Right. Can- um- I have a question. I thought super-powerful unicorns could see through illusion spells?”
A beat.
“What?” Twilight asked. “I have- I don’t- what are you insinuating?”
“N-Nothing.” He said, shuffling in his seat. “It’s fine. Nothing. Just a dumb question. Haha.” He brushed a hoof against his mane, rearranging in his seat for the hundredth time that night. “Where’s that waiter? I’m hungry.”
“Caramel, are you using an illusion spell?”
“Thought by now they’d at least give us something to drink.” He leaned forwards with a forced smirk. “What kind of fancy resuraunt is this, huh?”
“Your necklace!” Twilight shouted, suddenly noticing the glowing blue choker. She gripped it with her magic, noting the presence of something… familiar. She pulled, the choker pulling off almost instantly. In a panic, Caramel lunged forwards, wrapping it around his hoof and grabbing the necklace as it floated in the middle of the table. A few patrons casted their eyes, watching the scene unfold as Caramel was awkwardly placed, almost climbing ontop of the table.
Somehow, Caramel looked a little… fuzzy around the edges. Like when a projector isn’t exactly lined up with it’s film. Around specifically his flank and lower legs, he almost vanished completely, a strange blue light replacing where his body should’ve been.
“Please, don’t do this!” He begged. Twilight almost let up. Almost.
“I know this magic.” She said, suddenly filling with anger. “We kicked you out of town almost a year ago for trying to take it over! And I won’t have it happen again!” With a yank, Twilight tore the choker in half, the crystal landing in a wine glass.
And the illusion broke with a flash.
…
It wasn’t who she thought it was.
There, hooves on the table, hind legs on the chair, was a filly. She looked exactly like Caramel, from the color of her coat to the brown in her mane. Even her Cutiemark and eyes. Twilight stared in amazement at the filly, the realization suddenly dawning on her on what had just happened.
“O-Oh my Celestia.” She said. The filly’s bottom lip started to quiver as she sat back down on the seat, completely and utterly defeated. Twilight, however, steeled herself. “I-Is this some kind of prank? Do you think it’s funny to-!”
“I wanted to be normal.” She said in a feminine voice, and not at all like the Caramel on the seat no less than ten seconds ago. Twilight melted back into her chair. “I-I just wanted to be treated normally! I-I’m sorry t-that I’m not a stallion, I just thought if I-”
Twilight didn’t feel good.
“I’m sorry…” She said quietly. “I- I didn’t know, I-”
“Is that your reaction to everything?” She asked, hopping off the chair. “Rip it off with your magic? Act first, think later?”
“That’s not-”
“You must think you’re so important, miss ‘i’m the student of the Princess!’” She yelled. “Well guess what? You’re an entitled asshole!” Tears began brimming her eyes. “I hate you, and I don’t ever want to see you again!” In a blur, she ran towards the door and retched it open. Little hoofsteps slowly lowered in volume as Twilight was left to just stare. Slowly, through the open door, two heads peeked around the corner, both with shocked faces.
Twilight calmly stood up from the table. She didn’t seem to notice the amount of stares she was getting. It seemed that absolutely no pony knew what to do or say. Most of them probably didn’t even know what had happened. Twilight leaned forwards, looking at the blue gem laying innocently on the plate. She felt really bad. She had messed up before, a certain instance with her smarty-pants doll comes to mind. But nopony had reacted like that before. No pony called her an asshole before. Twilight touched a nerve. A really, really sensitive nerve.
She levitated the gem in her magic, turning and walking out of the resturaunt, being careful to avoid any and all stares she was getting, particularily the waiter that was going to wait their table.
Twilight closed the door with her magic.
“Was that..?” Dash questioned. “…a mare?”
“Sure looked like it.” Spike said, walking up and patting Twilight on the leg. She stopped walking, just staring blankly ahead as the gem levitated next to her.
Spike heard something peculiar.
Crying.
“Twilight, you good?” He asked, suddenly concerned. “Twilight!”
“Oh, what?” Rainbow asked, hovering over. “You good?” She asked.
“No!” Twilight yelled, yanking her hoof from Spike’s grasp. “I’m so stupid! All I do is ruin things!”
“To be fair, you did rip off a necklace when she told you not to.” Rainbow shrugged. “I mean, she looked scared when you grabbed it.”
“Rainbow!” Spike scolded. “Not. Helping.”
“I don’t even-” Twilight breathed a shaky breath. “What do I do? I just… ruined somepony’s life! I didn’t even think about why he didn’t want me grabbing the necklace! What if my hunch was wrong? I just- grabbed a necklace from his neck? How would I have played that off?”
“What hunch?” Rainbow asked. Twilight turned around. Rainbow almost jumped with the way Twilight looked. Her make-up was leaving streaks down her eyes, creating what she thought might’ve been a heavy metal rock band member.
“I thought he was Trixie.” Twilight admitted. “Her magic is all over this gem.” She held it up, looking at it reflect in the blue moon’s light. “No wonder I didn’t know it was an illusion. Trixie’s special talent is Illusion Magic. It’s borderline perfect. I only noticed when he started acting weird.”
“To be fair…” Rainbow started, walking up and placing a hoof on Twilight’s withers. “She shouldn’t be out trying to trick mares. I mean, she’ll need a pretty good excuse if she wants to get out of trouble-”
“Rainbow. She’s obviously transgender!” Twilight said through a particularly hard sob.
“Oh.” Rainbow said, sliding her hoof off of Twilight. “Shit.” Even Spike cringed.
“She… is a he.” Twilight sighed, sitting down. “He was probably self-concious about it. I don’t think he wanted any pony knowing… and now I exposed him in front of an entire restaurant.”
“That’s fucked.” Rainbow admitted.
“But what I don’t get…” Spike started, walking over and sitting down next to Twilight. “Why were they a stallion? Why didn’t they just- I dunno- ask Trixie the genie to turn her into a stallion? Did she have to make an illusion gem?”
“I don’t think Trixie can do anything other than illusion magic. Plus, It’s none of my business.” Twilight said. “If he’s happier a stallion, so be it. It’s none of my business.” She sighed, lowering her head. “He probably thought he found the wonder-cure for his condition. An illusionist. And I ruined it.” Twilight dropped the gem from her magic, a soft thunk as it hit the ground, sinking into the dirt a little bit.
“Can’t you just- I dunno- magic them into a stallion?” Rainbow asked. Twilight looked over her shoulder at Rainbow.
“No, I can’t.” She said sharply. “Not that simple.”
“Didn’t you do it at the duel with Trixie?” Rainbow asked. “With Applejack?”
“What?” Twilight asked, turning herself around a little bit more. “We painted Big-Mac orange and switched him with AJ- Rainbow, you were there for that. How did you forget that?”
“I was?” She scratched her chin. “I guess I forgot. But anyways- why can’t you? I mean, you gave Rarity wings that one time.”
“That was different.” Twilight said, looking back and at the moon. “The hardest part about transformation magic is picturing what you want to change. With small things, like making an apple an orange, it’s simple. Just picture an orange. With Rarity’s wings, it was just thin layers of chitin.” She began itching her wrist. Spike didn’t seem to stop her this time. “With a pony… you have to account for everything. Every strand of fur. Every muscle. Every organ. Every nerve running through the brain.” She sighed. “It would be easier if I had- I dunno- some kind of guide.” Rainbow raised an eyebrow. “Like, a really good picture of it already done, where all the hard stuff is done for me.”
“Twilight, you dummy.” Rainbow laughed. Twilight jumped, whipping around and looking at Rainbow. Her voice was different, and through the moonlight, she could tell that she was different. “Your guide is right here.”
Twilight looked down at her- or his- hoof. There, was the gem she had dropped.
“Oh.” She said, slapping a hoof to her forehead, accidentally knocking a few sparks from her horn. “Oh, shit!” She cried. “You’re totally right!” Rainbow the stallion made a really hot smirk as Twilight grabbed the gem with her hoof, holding it up triumphantly. Rainbow returned to normal as Twilight suddenly found herself a few inches taller. “I can still fix this!” She said in her new deep voice. “The perfect guide!”
“This is getting creepy.” Spike said, backing away from the stallion.
“We have to find Caramel!” He said. “Rainbow, do you know where Caramel lives?”
“Not a clue.” She shrugged. “But I can find him- her- real quick.” Twilight nodded, watching as Rainbow ascended faster than a shooting arrow, quickly becoming a black speck on an even blacker night sky. Twilight looked down at Spike, who has cautiously observing him. “Here, hold this.” He said, tossing the gem to Spike.
He caught it.
“Twilight, no!” She shouted. She looked at the gem held in her grasp, sighing deeply. “C’mon. Really?”
“What do you mean, Barbra?” Twilight asked with a sarcastic smirk. Using her magic, Twilight levitated Barbra onto her back, taking off in the general direction Rainbow was flying. Spike couldn’t feel any less comfortable in her current situation.