//------------------------------// // 7. Down With the Swissdom (trAce) // Story: Twiggled: A RariTwi Exquisite Corpse // by SigmasonicX //------------------------------// “Anyway, come with us, or we start giving the lovely locals a show they won’t be around to remember. Ten minutes.” He flipped the switch that turned off the megaphone’s amplification spell and handed the device back to his partner. “There we go. That should get them outta there.” “W-we ain’t actually gonna k-kill anyone, right?” The kid was damn near shaking straight out of their Oxfords. “What? ‘Course not. We’re criminals, not killers. That was just to light a fire under the Princess. Don’t want to be here when the Guards show up, after all.” What the first half of his statement did to alleviate his partner’s fear was undone by the second. “D-do ya think it’ll work?” “It better, or we will have to make these tenants start howling—with laughter, Simmers, don’t be a fool.” His partner slowly lowered their hand. “Folks laughing sounds like crying when you’re far enough away. We just get Page to do one of his little standup routines and we’re golden. ‘Sides, Mr. Cheese would have our heads if we killed someone’s ma or pa.” Thankfully they didn’t have to resort to such drastic measures. After only a minute, Mr. Cheese’s men watched the Princess and her new side piece walk out of the apartment building’s front door and approach them. The man and his partner broke from the rest of the gang. “Whatcha planning on doing with that pipe, little lady?” He stopped short, eying the short metal pipe in the dainty girl’s hands. “It’s a fashion statement.” She managed to sound completely natural, yet icy cold at the same time. “That so? I should get myself one of them things, then. I’d be the talk of Downtown.” He pulled a cigarette from his back pocket and lit it. If they were going to be difficult, he was at least going to be comfortable. “Even so, I’d be obliged if you dropped it. Not trying to get my boys hurt, you get me? We’re all civil people here.” “You threatened innocent people,” Princess Sparkle interjected. “That’s not civil.” “’Course it was; that was business. Business is always civil.” The Princess chewed on her cheek before puffing up and putting on a tough face. “My priority is the safety of my citizens. If this is just ‘business,’ then I must insist that you have your members that are still accosting people within their homes come out before we go anywhere. We are, after all, being civil.” He took a long, tired drag of his cigarette. Why were kidnappees always like this? “Counteroffer, Princess: you stop stalling and the population of this neighborhood won’t start ticking down.” The pair’s looks of horror were matched only by the iron grip his partner latched onto his arm with. “I thought–” “Shush, Simmers. Well? Your choice, Princess.” “You are despicable.” The word dripped out of her mouth like poison. He shrugged. “Business can get pretty messy, too. There’s a reason our cleaners work on call.” “Ros, you said we weren’t gonna–” “Not now, Simmers! Come on, get–” he pried his arm out of the kid’s claw and turned to point at the group of cars everyone was waiting by. “Go back and wait with the rest of the–” The metallic ringing of Rarity’s pipe and the thump of the goon’s body hitting the pavement were the last sounds everyone heard before the parking lot erupted into chaos. ⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜ It all happened too fast for Princess Twilight. One moment, she was desperately trying to come up with excuses to keep talking, and the next, Rarity was batting for the outfield. She heard shouting—a lot of shouting—all around her before a loud blast abruptly brought her back to her senses. Just in time to get pulled off her feet. “Sorry, Princess,” Sunset grunted as she dragged Twilight unceremoniously behind one of the nearby cars. “When shit goes down, you want to start moving. Speaking of moving, a car might not be the best place to hide. They love to explode, you know?” “Y-yeah.” Twilight’s brain was in its last stage of playing catch-up, but she was able to force out a nod. “Cool. Keep moving, stay safe, and leave this to us.” With a parting finger gun, Sunset slid over the car hood and into the fray. Right. Right. Keep moving. That’s… doable. Twilight got to her feet, crouching as she made her way down a line of vehicles. A cacophony of harmonica noises from the thugs heralded explosions that ripped through the lot. She just had to make it to the hedge on the side of the property. Barely 30 feet away. Easy. She nervously popped her head up to assess the situation. Dash and Sunset were all-out brawling with Mr. Cheese’s men like they were– well, she supposed they are pros at this point. It looked like the lackeys couldn’t decide whether to take their chances up close or risk hitting themselves with their magic harmonicas. Rarity seemed to be managing well enough in the chaos too, adopting a more hit-and-hide tactic. All clear for the moment. Twilight took off, sprinting through the open space and throwing herself into the sheltering shrubbery. “Ow.” Turns out branches aren’t the comfiest landing. “Ow, frick.” Just as she was beginning to relax, another form came crashing into the hedge, making Twilight nearly jump out of her skin. A tired-looking Dash flashed her a peace sign. “What’s up, girl?” “Dash? Are you okay?” “Yeah, I just need a quick breather. Why, you good?” “Well, I’m safe.” She did what she was told, but to be honest, it didn’t really sit well with Twilight. “I’m worried about Rarity, though. I… I know I shouldn’t, but I kind of want to help out–” “Oh hell yeah, girl. Never too late to start fighting The Man.” “… Dash, I am ‘The Man.’” “Oh, sorry bro. My bad.” “No, I mean I’m literally nobility. Princess.” She could see the gears grinding in Dash’s head. “Well,” – Dash shrugged – “we all have our flaws. Need a pipe?” “Um, sure.” Dash stretched out, reaching over Twilight’s head and rummaging around in the brush before yanking a yet-unseen metal pipe down. “Here you go. Emergency pipe, I hid some all around the city,” she clarified upon seeing Twilight’s incredulous stare. “Picked it up from a friend.” With that she pushed herself up from the leafy hideout and disappeared from Twilight’s view. “Oh shit, I think the Manehattans just got here too.” The spitfire said from outside the hedge. “And I’m hearing sirens in the distance. Damn, Princess, you really do have the whole city after you.” Twilight just let out a sad groan. How could this day get any worse?