//------------------------------// // 1. The Missing Princess (SigmasonicX) // Story: Twiggled: A RariTwi Exquisite Corpse // by SigmasonicX //------------------------------// Queen Twilight Velvet fidgeted in her seat. She and a small number of selected palace staff had gathered in a conference room to discuss a matter of grave importance. “While we previously claimed that the princess was still in bed soon before lunch, we have since determined it was in fact—” the head servant pinched the bridge of his nose and then continued “—a pile of pillows placed underneath her blanket with a rudimentary system of air pumps to simulate breathing.” The queen sighed. “So you’re telling me my little Twilight has been outside the castle for hours now? With no security at all?” The royal guard captain saluted. “My queen! Give the word and we’ll retrieve her shortly.” Velvet waved her hand. “We can’t make a big show of this. If anything, it could be more dangerous for her if people knew she was outside the castle.” The head servant bowed his head. “My queen, if you will. Our kingdom is a kind one. Surely there is no risk to giving Princess Twilight some room to explore the city on her own. Knowing her, she’ll come back on her own before nightfall.” The queen squinted in consideration. “Perhaps you are—” “This world is imperfect.” Everyone immediately turned to look at the new arrival. She wore a black uniform with white ruffles. Her blonde hair was down and she had a monocle over her good eye. She clenched a gloved fist. “Make no mistake, the outside world is dangerous. If only I could wipe away the impurities and make it as beautiful as me.” The queen nodded shortly. “Quite right, Duchess Muffins. It’s far too dangerous for my princess.” The head servant raised a finger. “If I may—” Duchess Muffins interrupted. “My queen, allow me to find the princess. I will be far more subtle than your guards, and I will bring the princess back to safety shortly.” The queen stood. “Very well, I will leave this task to you. Please have her back by nightfall.” The duchess smiled. “Consider it done. This meeting has concluded.” The queen stepped out without another word, and the others left shortly after, with only the head servant giving the duchess a second look. Still, even he could do nothing more than sigh as he returned to work. The duchess stepped outside of the castle and into the shadows underneath an archway. She then spoke into the darkness, cleaning her monocle with a cloth. “By stealing the magic of Princess Twilight Sparkle, I will finally be able to overthrow the kingdom. I want you to bring her to me alive. You are allowed to hurt her if it comes to it.” If anyone was watching, they would have been surprised to see someone standing behind the duchess as though he was always there. He wore a dark poncho and cowboy hat, tilted down over his face. Between his hands was a black accordion, which he squeezed menacingly in response. Meanwhile, Princess Twilight Sparkle—or rather, the perfectly ordinary commoner named Sitwee—was having the time of her life. Being able to visit all the places she previously only saw from a distance while en route to her public speaking events was a dream, and her being able to spend it with a beautiful tourist made it even better. Said tourist had stepped away to admire a poster on a store wall, twirling a finger through her purple hair. “My, your country really does have such a lovely princess.” Twilight was in the middle of petting her dog, and when she looked up, she did a double take. Rarity was looking at a picture of her—of Princess Twilight Sparkle—sitting in a throne with her hair down and spread across her shoulders, with bright purple eyes shining unimpeded. She reached up and double checked that she still had her hair up in a ponytail and had glasses on. Good, that meant Rarity wouldn’t be able to recognize her. Still, she couldn’t help but stutter. “Y-yes, thank you, I—our princess would really like you saying that.” Rarity looked back over her shoulder. “You wouldn’t happen to have run into her at any point, have you?” Twilight forced a smile. “Can’t say I have.” Rarity waved her hand. “Well, I’m sure you will someday. Now, where to next, dear?” Twilight looked around. Having been outside the castle so little, she didn’t actually have any clue where she was going, and they were just going to the most interesting place she saw from where she stood. That worked out so far. “How about we get some gelato?” Rarity clasped her hands together. “That does sound wonderful! It would be good to have something cold right now.” As they walked to the gelato shop, Twilight admired the clear blue sky. She looked down and smiled as Spike made funny grunting dog noises as he walked alongside the two of them. “So, my scintillating Sitwee, have you been to this shop a lot?” asked Rarity. Twilight nodded. “Of course! I go all the time!” Did that sound believable? She continued, “In fact, the owner and I are friends!” The princess felt her dog bump his head into her leg. Twilight waved her hands. “I mean, not that great friends. He’s not going to treat me differently than any other customer.” Rarity blinked. “I see. Well, I’m sure he must be a nice fellow.” As they arrived at the gelato cart, Twilight mentally kicked herself when she saw the person manning it was a woman. Blushing at her unforced error, she scratched the back of her head and said, “Oh, I guess they have a stand-in anyway, so just forget everything I said.” Rarity didn’t seem to be paying attention, instead humming as she looked at the offerings. “Sitwee, what flavor do you recommend?” Twilight’s eyes widened. Of course, that was the obvious question after pretending to be an expert. She quickly scanned the menu, trying to determine what would be best. In the end, she shrugged and quickly said, “Oh they’re all good, that’s just the sort of place this is.” Rarity smiled. “Splendid. Very well, I suppose I’ll try out the lavender and raspberry flavors.” Lavender did sound like an interesting flavor. If she was going to get a second scoop, though, maybe it was better to get the standard flavor of vanilla just as a baseline. Twilight stared at her gelato upon receiving it and she felt her mouth watering. As a princess, she had all kinds of food, including desserts, but something about this fresh gelato from a street cart felt appetizing like nothing else. After the two of them sat down, she slowly extended her tongue and took a tentative lick of the vanilla. Her eyes immediately widened and sparkled. “This is remarkable!” exclaimed Rarity. “I know they said the gelato here was good, but this really is on another level from what’s at home.” Twilight couldn’t respond as she vacuumed up her gelato, barely giving herself time to taste it. When she saw Rarity looking at her, she froze. Sweating despite the cold food, Twilight said, “Yup, always good, even for someone like me that has it every other day.” The tourist gave a simple smile in response and went back to eating. Not wanting to give her time to figure out that this was her first time here too, Twilight searched for some way to distract her. Suddenly it came to her: small talk! That’s what she needed to do. She cleared her throat. “So, Rarity, are you by yourself?” Without hesitation, Rarity responded, “I’m quite single, yes.” Twilight blinked, and this time Rarity was the one to stutter. “I-I mean no, I came here with several friends. We’re all looking around the city separately, but we’re going to meet back up at the hotel tonight. Still plenty of time before that, so don’t let up on the touring, Ms. Local.” “Don’t worry, I won’t.” Twilight winked. “And I’m quite single too.” The princess’s face fell. She immediately regretted saying that, especially as she looked down and saw Spike shake his head. It didn’t help that Rarity’s response was to giggle. Twilight stood up. “Anyway, next place!” “I actually have someplace in mind for that, darling.” Rarity pulled out her phone. “You know the Temple of Celestia, I assume.” Twilight nodded. Even she knew of the most touristy of tourist destinations in the city. “Well I’m not interested in going there, but there is a charming little bookstore close to it that I’d like to check out.” Twilight blinked. She leaned over, almost spilling some of her gelato. “Wait, Rarity, you want to go to a bookstore?” “Not a place many tourists are interested in, I know, but I saw pictures of it earlier and it just looks so wonderful.” Twilight smiled brightly. Rarity really was the best person she could have chosen to spend the day with. She shoved the rest of her gelato cone into her mouth. “Alright, let’s go!” Rarity smiled. “I didn’t expect you to like bookstores so much, but it does fit you.” Twilight wasn’t sure how to take that, so she simply said, “Thanks.” Still not too far into her gelato, Rarity continued licking as they walked. Following her directions, the bookstore was soon in sight. But then Twilight saw the last thing she wanted to see now. Royal guards coming straight down the street and toward them. She froze. What to do now? Her disguise was working on a tourist, but would it work on royal guards? Twilight looked around for a way to discreetly escape. She spotted two seedy looking men jumping in surprise as they saw the guards and ducking into an alley. Then those two men… started kissing! Twilight put her hand to her mouth. Of course! From the movies she saw, diving into an alley and kissing was the best way to avoid people coming after them! That’s how she’d avoid the guards! But wait, who was she going to kiss? “Sitwee, why did you stop?” Twilight turned and saw that Rarity was looking at her with a curious expression. She was going to kiss Rarity?! Sweat started pouring down Twilight’s face as her eyes drifted down to the tourist’s lips. Was there truly nothing else she could do?