The first surprise was, ultimately, that they had a spa. Stan gaped left and right over it in stunned awe at it existing at all, with a fair few ponies inside. A smiling pink pony rested behind a counter, watching them. "Rarity!" she called out with an accent that didn't belong in the region at all. "So good to be seeing you, and you brought friends?"
"Aloe," called Rarity with a bright smile. They met with an exchanged hug. "This is Stan." She gestured to him, then onwards. "And Applejack. Both friendly couriers who just brought me something delightful for my work. "And I want to freshen their attire, but before we do that..."
"You want to freshen what's underneath them, yes, I am understanding." Aloe nodded, looking over her targets calculatingly. "You've had a hard, wasteland, life. It's time to relax and let your bodies do the same." She waved for them to follow her. "Friends of Rarity, we will treat you right!"
Applejack followed in a daze. "Pardon fer askin'... But ah still don't know what a 'spa' is 'xactly. What am ah walkin' into?"
"This..." Aloe waved as they passed a room where a pony was being massaged with rapid slaps to their sighing approval. "Is a place of rest and rejuvenation. We may live in difficult times, but setting aside a little of it for yourself is so very important. Now, Rarity, dear, do you already have a plan in mind, or are they in my hooves?"
Rarity clopped her hooves. "I feel guilty deciding for them. Let's all have the deluxe package! It's on me."
Stan perked a brow. "Wait, yer payin'? Figured you were just ropin' some business fer yer friends."
Rarity tittered into a hoof. "Oh, but I am, darling. If you enjoy yourself, and I imagine you will, you may return. Besides, she's getting caps today, they just happen to be mine. Now, this is my idea. Making you pay for my idea doesn't rest well with me." She floated over the needed caps into Aloe's waiting grasp. "Make us celebrate ourselves!"
"As you wish! Lotus!" She hurried to a door. "Lotus, are you in there?"
The door cracked open, revealing a blue pony that looked like Aloe, if color swapped. "Yes?"
"We have three deluxes." Aloe waved back at Rarity and the others. "Would you mind lending a hoof?"
"Oh, of course!" She emerged fully, closing the door as she went. "Two ponies, and a human. You want me to take the human?"
"It is being your specialty, da. If you would." Aloe turned to the two ponies. "This way."
Lotus closed with Stanley. "We will be making you look like a star! Brilliant and shining, yes? Come, we begin." She cheerfully began a journey of pampering and care. She didn't bring up that he was a ghoul. Perhaps she didn't care, or she didn't notice. She trimmed fingernails, rubbed gentle oils into him with skilled hooves, and set smooth warm stones on him. Lotus spoke quietly about nothing in particular, just helping the time pass in almost a hypnotic way of relaxing.
Stan did his best to just... relax. The pony seemed quite professional in her wish to work. He knew what a spa was... Nobody his age didn't, the way he saw it. But there were parts... "Don't mean to bother any... But how ya plannin' to do hair?"
"The normal way." Like a veil had been wrenched free, she took notice of his far from normal mane, er, hair. "Oh. Don't be worrying. A little or a lot, it deserves love! What you have should look, and feel, its best." She applied fragrant shampoos and conditioners to him, lushious locks or not, rubbing carefully as she almost sang in a humming sort of way. "In some ways, I am almost jealous."
"Yeah?"
"It must be easier." She patted one hoof along her mane. "Lovely to behold, but so much work, every day."
"There is that," he allowed, keeping his eyes closed as she washed him. "Since I have you, I have to ask... Where do you even get the stuff you're rubbing on me? We ain't livin' in the past here, no local market to pick up this stuff."
"We make it ourself," she stated with obvious pride. "We grow it, then process it. It takes much work." She bobbed her mane. "As I was saying, so much work for this thing, da? Yours is more fitting the current day, I am thinking. Let's rinse." She guided him to a sink to run warm water over him.
"Now hold on." He pushed back from the sink. "How do you have hot running water? Not complainin'... but? C'mon..."
Lotus could but point. "We have to fill it with water each day, but there is a heater, da? It warms it. So long as the generator is doing its job."
"You have a generator?!" Stan flopped back onto the chair, laughing a little hysterically. "Wow."
"We work with what we have." Lotus began snipping at him, cutting his hair, to Stan's confusion. He didn't have much hair to cut, did he? And yet, she went right along, busily doing... something. Snipping busily as if he did. "I am all out of the deep skin oils, I'm afraid." She sighed wearily at the news. "We grow what we can, but that, it needs a chillier climate, you are seeing? It is hard to get reliably."
"It'd have to be awful deep..." Stan had a hard time imagining any oil could do too much to his skin. "Let's see what you've done to me."
"As you are wishing." She grabbed a mirror in her teeth and held it up, turning it slowly to let him look at all the angles. "Is good, da?"
What little hair he had started with was evened and groomed, looking far more purposeful in its placement than it had when nature alone had a vote in it. She had even spread it in places, making him look a bit less bald than he started. "Huh... Ah swear, you did more than I figured you could. Still me, but... a nicer me."
"The real you." She patted him on the cheek as she tucked the mirror away. "You deserve it. Now! Colors! Do you want any? I can do your face, your hooves--" The confusion on hooves was lessened as she pointed her own hoof at Stan's fingertips as she said it. "Front or back or both! Oh! And hair. Some love colors there. Many enjoy the one they started with. Just tell me and I will be doing it."
"No. No..." He held up his hands to make it clear. "I'm fine with the colors ah got. Look... Ah'm impressed, gonna just admit it."
"I'm glad to hear that." Lotus inclined her head at her humanoid client. "But I feel there is more coming."
"Oh, there is! Look, ah heard spa, figured it'd just be some kinda fancy bath." He patted himself down, towel covering objectionable bits. "But you really got the whole thin' going on here! Ah never went to no spa before... That was... kinda nice actually. Won't say ah'm a new man or nothin', but... nice. It was nice."
Lotus considered Stan for a quiet moment. "I confess, ghouls are being a new thing to me... But... Please forgive the asking... how old are you?"
"Long enough to know what a spa is." Stan folded his arms, daring her to press in that direction.
She didn't. "Then I'd love to hear, from someone with first perspectives, da? Was that what you expect from a real spa?"
"More than that! That's what I was saying. Good stuff." He fired a thumbs up. "Feeling... Good. Yeah, good. Rarity wasn't just puffing up about it, but I get the idea she likes puffing, spas or not."
"That is a trait of hers," admitted Lotus with a little titter. "But we love her dearly. Your rifle." She pointed to where it was leaned against the wall. "Musn't go without that."
Stan did claim it, with some hesitancy. "You don't mind my carryin' it then?"
"I am an optimist. What I am not being is foolish." She tossed her head. "I have a pistol for my own self defense. These are not kind times. We do our best to make this one place an oasis from it. Now, since you feel and look great, I hope you are having a fantastic day."
"Gotta ask..." So many questions were raised by the whole thing, but only a few couldn't be contained... "How do you do it?" He wriggled his fingers. "You don't have these. But you could still get everywhere you had to. How?"
Lotus raised a hoof into view. "What is being wrong with this?" She pressed it right against his chest. "Just like your fingers, it is how it is used, is it not? Applied gently, to where it is needed, I can send your tension away." She went down to all fours, to walk past him. "Sometimes very hard, depending. If you were born with them, this would seem natural. How you keep track of all those fingers, that is being far more confusing to me."
"Alright, alright." He chuckled at the idea of his fingers being somehow uncountably many. "Not tryin' to pick no fights. You run a fine place." He delayed though, getting dressed properly before he even considered coming out into the main area.
"There he is." Applejack waved at him as he emerged into the lobby. "Lookin' good!"
"You look..." He looked over the pony, who had so much hair to be properly tended. "Relaxed."
"Feelin' it, and you look it too." She stepped over with a big smile. "Rarity's takin' some extra time. They say that's pretty normal wit' her. Still, mighty pleasant of her to spring fer us like this."
"I might have gotten a hint as to maybe the next job?"
Applejack perked an ear at that. "Oh? Really? Color me impressed." She waggled her painted hoof lightly. "What'd ya find?"
Stan hiked a thumb at the back. "They're short on the serious skin care, told me. We should ask how much they're willin' to pay to have someone go fetch it fer 'em. The caps they made just treatin' us says loud and clear they can pay us fer the task."
"Smart!" She held up a hoof until Stan slapped a palm against it. "I like the sound'a that. Let's finish wit' Rarity afore we go thinkin' bout our next trip though. 'Sides, there's so much ah wanna see about this place... Jus' look at 'em." She tossed her head at the other ponies waiting patiently for their turn. "This ain't no normal town, and it ain't a vault. It's got some ah both goin' on an' it feels funny, but good."
"Not complainin'." Stan went straight outside. "Doin' alright?"
"I am functioning--"
Stan put a hand on Giddyup's mouth, signal to stop. "That's a yes. Thanks fer waitin'."
Giddyup examined Stan carefully. "Did you enjoy your medical care?"
Stan jerked faintly. "Medical? Buddy, don't you know what a spa is?"
Giddyup took a moment to examine Applejack in kind. "A spa is a place where you can receive medical treatment for your skin, hair, and keratin , and also receive relief for any muscle stiffness or soreness. Did you enjoy it?"
Stan patted the left side of Giddyup's chest. "You don't change, pardner. Ah enjoyed it plenty. Rarity's still in there, havin' a ball. Know what that did fer me? You'll love this."
"What will I love?" Giddyup leaned in, as curious as a robot could be.
"I'm hungry, is what." He slapped down on Applejack's back. "You up fer lunch?"
Applejack jumped at the slap, but her ire was short-lived. "Now yer talkin'! Bet they got all kindsa tasty thin's made up just fer a pony. Gonna treat you to a culinary wonderland." She marched ahead, tail wagging energetically with each step. "C'mon! We eat like royalty today."