A crisis was brewing in Canterlot.
When Celestia had returned from her meeting with the Yaks to find a suspiciously large surplus of bits in the royal treasury.
When confronted about it Luna shrugged it off, but being able to tell when her sister was lying Celestia pursued the truth.
After a valiant defence Luna gave in and admitted that Anon told her to print bits with cheaper metals in order to replace the national budget that she was conned out of by a foal. While the urge to laugh was great the ramifications it held for Equestria’s economy allowed her to push it down easily.
When inquired where these majority of these counterfeit bits had gone Luna gave an explanation that, for the first time in a long time, struck true fear into Celestia’s heart.
Kneeling before the two thrones, Cadance and Shining Armour had been called to speak with the diarchy on this pressing issueZ
“Captain Armour, Cadance, Equestria is in a state of crisis' ' Celestia explained.
“What can we do Auntie?” Cadance asked.
Taking in a deep breath, Celestia side eyes a sheepish looking Luna before turning back to the couple “Anon has vanished into the north, he was given one hundred million bits by Luna here with the intention of selecting what provinces were in need of economic development but has disappeared. This is one of the greatest threats to Equestria since Nightmare Moon’s return” she explained.
While Cadance showed concern for her friend’s disappearance, Shining simply tilted his head in confusion “um, forgive me Princess, but that seems like a bit of an over exaggeration” he said.
Getting an almost death glare like look from Celestia Shining bowed his head again “Shining, do you remember your wedding night? When Anon put an aphrodisiac in the punch and sent every mare in the party into heat?” Celestia asked.
Yes, Shining remembers that night. While he won’t admit it due to the aftermath he had the best night of his life.
“Yes your highness”
“Anon caused the mass impregnating of Equestria’s nobility on a scale so great the government has had to make plans to deal with the aftermath. Now, imagine what Anon could accomplish with one hundred million bits and nopony there to keep an eye on him”
Hearing her words, Shining's eyes went wide as the implications hit him.
“I’ll gather my best guards and mount a full search, everypony will be alerted and all local police forces will be requisitioned to help with the search” Shining stated “I’ve already sent word to Twilight and her friends, Anon has family in Ponyville. If this isn’t a part of Anon’s plan they need to be alerted that he’s missing” Celestia explained “I want both of you to lead the search, be careful, and bring Anon home before he hurts himself, or worse, succeeds in whatever he’s doing” Celesita ordered.
Meanwhile in Ponyville, the main six had the job of breaking the news of Anon’s disappearance to Cream Heart.
Is safe to say the now heavily pregnant mare took it as well as you’d expect.
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN “WE LOST YOUR COLTFRIEND!!!?’” She roared, the sound causing the house to shake and almost pulled Button out of his gamer session.
Almost.
With everyone but Applejack and Pinkie now cowering behind her Twilight tried to re-explain the situation “well, Princess Luna sent Anon up north to survey our border regions for investment and he kind of… disappeared” Twilight said, giving a light chuckle through her nervous smile while Cream Heart glared at them.
“Ma’am don’t worry, the Princess has mobilised the entire guard to go lookin for Anon. Everything’s gonna be fine, as long as Anon ain’t doing nothing too… Anonish” Applejack interjected.
“What exactly is that supposed to mean?” Cream asked with a defensive tone “sugarcube, Anon has more bits then our entire town has ever seen and no pony’s there to keep an eye on him” Applejack stated.
After a few moments the hard stare melted off Cream Heart’s face as the realisation hit her “oh buck” she said calmly.
“Exactly,” Twilight stated.
“I’m, I'm sorry for my outburst girls. Just promise me you’ll get Anon home safe” Cream Heart apologised.
“Don’t worry’bout it. We’ll have Nonny home in time for a ‘we stopped him from causing chaos’ party!” Pinkie said happily bouncing in place.
“Pregnant mares are scary” Fluttershy whispered to Dash as the group made their way to the train station “agreed, well for you maybe. I definitely wasn’t scared” Dash lied like a Russian watch.
In the far north Cadance and Shining sat in the hall of a great castle. The local duke, Duke Chivalrous Order, the noble in charge of this land, had taken them in as guests while they searched for Anon.
On a great oak table was a map of the region. Several red X’s were drawn over areas they had already searched for Anon.
Suddenly a pegasi guard walked into the room “your highnesses I’ve found something… strange” he explained “Anon?” Cadance asked, hope entering her voice only to be dashed away seconds later.
Shaking his head the guard approached the table. Drawing a red circle in an unmapped region between Equestria and Yakyakistan “I was scouting this area, it was supposed to be a barren region but, there’s a city there” he explained.
“That’s impossible, this entire region’s been uninhabited tundra forever, even Anon, for all his weirdness couldn’t build a city in a week” Shining stated “unless” Cadance muttered.
Raising his eyebrow, Shining looked at his wife with concern “unless what hun?” He asked “Shining, I think that city is the Crystal Empire” Cadance explained.
Everyone in the room had heard stories of the Crystal Empire, but few other than the royal sisters truly believe it existed.
“Cadance, the Empire is a myth, nothing could survive in the cold there but Yaks” Shining said. Shaking her head, Cadance looked determined “no, Aunt Celestia used to tell me stories about it when I was young. She said it was real and I believe her. If it’s really back we have to take all our guards and go there now” Cadance stated.
“You don’t think Anon is there do you?” Shining asked, now becoming worried at how his wife is acting “I hate to say this but Anon can wait. If the Empire is back then that means Sombra is free. You get your guards ready to move out, I need to send word of this to Aunt Celestia” Cadance ordered as she moved to get a quill and paper.
Hearing that name, Shining didn’t utter another word. Back in school he had learned the name Sombra. A dark unicorn who was supposedly sealed away a millenia ago. Until now he thought he was a myth made up to scare foals who didn’t behave. But if Cadance believed he was real, and that he’s back, all of Equestria is at risk.
Assembling his guards in the courtyard, Shining gave them a once over before briefing them on the situation.
“Stallions, Equestria is in danger. I know this sounds hard to believe, but King Sombra of the Crystal Empire has returned. Our new mission is to secure the Crystal City and hold him at bay until reinforcements can come from Canterlot. I can’t promise that you’ll all come home from this, that’s why I’m not ordering you into battle. I’m asking for volunteers, any of you who choose not to come may stay here and hold this position. Nopony will think any less of you for it”
A few moments passed, but one by one all the guards took a step forward. Shining gave them a small smile, they may not be the well armed army that helped forge Equestria millenia ago but he was proud of every one of them.
Soon Cadance joined them in the square, flying down from the castle and landing next to her husband “I’ve sent the letter, Aunt Celestia should be sending reinforcements now” Cadance said “but we’ll have to push on on our own for now, are you ready?” Cadance said “ready as I’ll ever be '' Shining responded.
Using carriages and chariots pulled by the pegasi guard, Shining and Cadance managed to reach the Crystal City in under two hours.
Everyone was in awe of its majesty. A snowflake shaped city built of pure crystal, with a massive tower like palace overlooking it all at its centre. The sun reflecting off its surface created an almost rainbow-like shine.
“Sir! There’s a gathering at the heart of the city!” One of the pegasi said “bring us down near them!” Shining ordered.
Landing near the city centre the guard formed up, expecting the fight of their lives.
But instead of a dark sorcerer straight from their nightmares, they were met by thousands of normal ponies, albeit ones who appeared to be made of crystal, organised into a few neat lines. All seeming to be heading towards a large zeppelin bearing the Equestrian flag on its side parked just outside the tower.
“What the actual buck?” Shining commented.
Using the guard’s muscle Cadance and Shining pushed their ways through the lines. Coming to the front the couple stopped, their eyes wide once they saw who was causing this commotion.
“Alright here’s you’re loan, you don’t have to worry about paying off our debt until the third year then we can start you off on 250 bits a month over a period of t twenty years, thank you for choosing Anon Banking Firm, NEXT! Oh hey Cadance” Anon said, his attention being turned to the royal couple.
“Anon, WHAT are you doing?”Cadance asked “its a long story” Anon said.
“When I got sent up here by Luner Lander I found a book talking about a gem mine of some kind that’s supposed to be up here.
So I came up here planning to use the cash I was given to restart the mines and make a fat sack of cash for my good self.
That, or assuming the mines weee a dud, go further up north and buy a bunch of the Yak’s cheap but strong booze, water it down till the ponies can drink it and sell it for ten times the initial investment making it so this trip wasn’t a total loss. Financially speaking of course.
But then I found this city and I was like “da hell is this?” So I landed, met the locals. At first I thought they were making me their new king but turns out they just got out of slavery and needed help rebuilding their lives. So now I’ve started a banking firm and I’ve been giving quick loans at 20% intrest. I’m the only bank in town so I’m gonna make a mint.
So what brings you here?”
Taking in the information Cadance just rubbed her forehead “Anon, you realise that’s state money you’re using. You’re going to have to give it all back no matter how much you make” Shining pointed out.
Pulling out a piece of paper Anon waved it in the Captain’s face.
“Not according to my employment contract” he stated.
Taking the paper Shining started reading.
The employment contract of Anonymous.
I Anonymous, agree to examine northern Equestria for potential state investment plans.
But if I use the cash to make any profits instead I can keep the profit.
Signature here: Princes Luna
“See?” Anon said smuggly.
“Anon” Cadance said “yes Cadie?” Anon asked “you need to leave” Cadance stated.
“What are you talking about?” Anon asked “I’m making a killing here, I’ll have a Banana Republic up and running in a year” he added “Anon, this Empire is ruled by an evil unicorn named Sombra, he’s coming to take back his kingdom and enslave everyone here” Cadance explained.
“What!?”
“Sombra’s coming!?”
“Oh fuck you’ve done it now”
The crystal ponies, hearing their oppressor’s name devolved into a panic. Running in every direction, the ponies knocked over guards and carts as they went.
“Honestly Cadance I assumed you’d have a little more tact” Anon said in an dissapointed tone.
“Tact isn’t exactly important right now Anon, we need to get ready. Sombra could be here any second!” Cadance stated “oh come on that’s a bit dramatic” Anon responded.
While the two friends were arguing a large black shadow started to loom over the city. As it’s shadow blotted out the sun everypony turned to face it. While at first it appered to be a great storm cloud, it’s appearance was quickly altered by the appearance of two large glowing green eyes at its centre.
“Yeah on second thoughts Yakyakistan seems like a good idea right now”
AN: For those who don’t know what a Banana Republic is they’re a state where the economy is dependent on exports of its natural resources and said resources are monopolised by corporations. A lot of Central American states were Banana Republics in the literal sense for a while. A lot still are.
But back on the topic of Anon would you like to see him visit places like Zebrica or Griffonia. I’ve been reading a few fics about the continents and it’s given me a few ideas.