Shining Armor couldn’t help but look between his daughter Flurry, who was still deep in the midst of drawing, and the door to her own bedroom, which was closed. He felt a small bit of helplessness, laying on the couch with no clue how to help Kieran. He recognized just as well that his intense worry was linked to the fact that Kieran looked like his daughter. And of course, Shining felt guilty for that. If just being Flurry’s father and being upset over Kieran’s unfortunate circumstance was enough to feel that way. He deduced that he couldn’t imagine the mental load that it would have on someone much younger.
The uselessness he felt laying on the couch waiting for Cadance to come back with news. He trusted her completely in the endeavor, but would Kieran ever feel trust? His mind swam with possible outcomes before he shook his head, leaning further over the side of the couch to talk to his daughter, who had been acting odd. "Flurry, honey?"
She hummed but kept her muzzle firmly planted downward and only hesitated slightly with her drawing, "Mmh?"
It was unlike her to give such an aloof response: "Is something wrong? You can tell me anything; you know that, right?"
She nodded again with a small sigh, "I know…"
She kept drawing as she stayed quiet. Shining sighed slightly, assuming that she’d rather keep everything internally for now. But before he could say anything, she blurted out, "Am I a good daughter?" She looked over at him for the first time and felt his heart sink, seeing the tears in her eyes. "Am I a bad pony daddy?"
"No." He replied firmly, quickly sliding off the couch and onto the floor next to her. "No, not at all, honey. You’re a great daughter, and we love you so much. What would make you ask something like that?" He quickly wiped the tears out of her eyes as he pulled her close to his side.
It seemed to make her even more upset as more tears came: "I-I ruined Kieran’s life."
Shining didn’t have the heart to point out the very obvious statement that he didn’t have a life if he had been dead when she brought him back. Of course, that would have been a heartless statement. "How so?" He simply inquired.
She whined a little, "I-I made him into a pony; I made him the wrong gender; and… and…" She could barely speak because she was crying so much.
Shining just pulled her even closer and nuzzled the top of her head. "You were doing what you felt was right, Flurry."
She huffed, "Well I… I was wrong! I even scared him away by telling him you guys might get the wrong idea and hurt him." She stopped for a few moments and breathed, "And now he hates us and thinks we want to get rid of him. All because of me!" She said this as she shoved her muzzle under her two front hooves.
Shining sighed and laid his head on top of Flurry’s, stroking her side with a hoof which he’d done many times before. "He doesn’t hate anybody. He’s just scared and confused." He hummed inquisitively and continued, "How would you feel if you died, found yourself in a completely alien world, and not only did you look like some weird alien, but the weird alien was telling you that you were now their twin?"
"I’d feel awful." She mumbled quietly, "And that’s what I did to him. I’m awful." She said it even quieter.
Shining sighed again lightly: "No, Flurry, you’re not awful. You just need to give him more time to adjust. And it will take a lot of adjusting." He got no response, so he lowered his head and nuzzled her face. "And your job is to be friendly, understanding, and make him feel welcome. We’re here to help him; he’s in great hooves."
Flurry nearly scoffed: "I heard him yelling a while ago after momma took him in for a bath."
"Then that means your mother is trying to help. I’d rather Kieran be yelling and screaming at us than being quiet. It means that he’s still fighting for his past self. I know I wouldn’t be quiet and complacent in the same situation." Shining smirked, "I bet momma will be able to help. Mark my words."
Flurry mumbled, "I hope so."
Their ears swiveled as the door to Flurry’s room opened slightly. Both of them looked over curiously, and Shining’s jaw nearly hit the floor at the sight. Cadance had the small filly on one foreleg, tucked close to her chest. And not only was he asleep, but he had his own forelegs locked around Cadance’s neck. She began walking over, and when his mouth opened to speak, she quickly shushed him before laying on the couch next to him. She slowly laid the filly down, and he stayed still as he used her foreleg as a pillow.
Shining stared owlishly at the sight, and even Flurry was shocked. Before either could speak, Cadance looked towards Flurry and spoke quietly, "Dear, can you draw in your room, please? Dad and I need to speak privately."
"Yes, momma," she said while gathering her things.
"Thank you; I love you, sweetie." She whispered to the retreating filly.
Shining was thoroughly impressed, "Wow." He muttered, "How did you do it?"
Cadance shook her head. "He just needs love and care." She looked down sadly and gently nuzzled his face. "He’s lost and scared… A little bit of patience went a long way."
Shining put a hoof over hers, and she smiled back, "He just needs our help, Shiny."
"Well, yeah, of course," Shining replied quickly.
"And..." Cadance started with an impatient sigh. "The gender and race changes are upsetting him a lot. He also told me something concerning his past life…"
Shining’s blood ran a bit cold. "Does it relate to his..?"
She hummed with a short nod, "Apparently his brother did something bad that led to his death… and he… he just doesn’t trust very easily now. Understandably."
Shining sat in shock for a few moments before sighing deeply and nodding, "Y-Yeah that’ll do it…"
Cadance pulled Kieran a bit closer to herself, and Shining noted just how protective her actions were: "And I barely got him to trust me. And even then, I’m not sure if it’ll last. He needs a lot of love, safety, and security. To know that I don’t want to abandon him will take a long time." She wiped a tear from her eye and said, "I feel so bad for him. He absolutely hates being a filly."
Shining nodded as he listened intently. "Of course, I’d hate waking up as the wrong gender. The poor foal…" He hummed.
Cadance looked at him a bit sternly, "I need you to promise me you’ll refer to him as a colt. He had a breakdown when I referred to him as a filly."
He nodded rapidly and said, "Of course, me and Flurry have been referring to him as… well, a colt. Even when he wasn’t here. I hope it will make him feel better, even if it’s just a few words."
Cadance smiled and leaned in to nuzzle him, which he reciprocated quickly. "I know it’s silly to ask, but you’re going to help me, right?" Cadance seemed to be holding back more tears. "The poor little one just needs things to stabilize in his life. But… I don’t want to force you to help, because it will be a lot of work and-"
He interrupted her, "That is a silly question," Shining said with a small huff. He looked at her slyly with a grin, "Nope."
Cadance rolled her eyes and used her free hoof to push him away. Shining laughed as quietly as possible before leaning back in and kissing her, saying, "I’m with you every step of the way, honey. I’m offended you’d think otherwise." He answered quietly.
Both their eyes widened as Kieran squirmed a bit and released a small whine. But both released a sigh of relief, realizing he hadn’t been woken up. Cadance pulled him close as she stood up, "I’m going to let him rest. He’s still sick as well." She paused for a moment, "I’m going to stay in bed with him too. The first step in assuring him I won’t leave him is being there when he wakes up." She said with a confident nod.
Shining nodded as Cadance seemed to think to herself, "Or maybe he’ll be upset because he thinks I’m invading his privacy." She hummed, looking conflicted.
Shining stood as well and nuzzled her, "There is no wrong answer, dear; follow your heart."
She giggled quietly as she walked away. "I always do."
"Damon! Damon, no, please don’t go!"
I ran forward, but no matter how much I ran, I never got closer. "Damon!"
I woke up with gasping breaths, and I immediately felt a soothing sensation on my back. I immediately released an uncharacteristic whine in protest. It was then that I realized in whose grasp I was. I looked up into Cadance’s face, still taking deep breaths. She watched me worriedly and cooed, "Shh… you’re alright."
I froze myself a bit as I looked at her forelegs wrapped around me. Cadance noticed my reaction and began retracting them, and something urged me to lurch forward into her chest fur. "N-No!" I let out a worried cry.
She quickly wrapped them back around me even tighter, leaning down to nuzzle the top of my head, "You’re okay, it was just a nightmare." She said soothingly.
I felt embarrassed by my actions, but I knew they were helping me feel better. But I felt like it was something I wouldn’t normally do. My cheeks went red a bit as I kept my muzzle in her fur. "I-I’m sorry. You’re warm and soft." I muttered quietly.
She giggled, "So I’ve been told." She continued to stroke my back, "And don’t apologize, please."
I slowly pulled away from her grasp, and she relented her hooves as I backed away. "S-Sorry… Oh… um… I’m awake. I’m okay now." I said quickly while shaking my head.
She gave me a worried glance, "You weren’t bothering me, honey; if you’re still tired, I don’t mind."
I shook my head again. "No, I won’t sleep later if I do now," I said with a yawn. "Besides, you have things to do; I don’t even know why you stayed with me." I muttered, looking out the window at the sunset.
Cadance sighed. "It’s okay to be vulnerable sometimes, Kieran." There was silence between us for a while. I was, in fact, being vulnerable. And it was such a wildly unfamiliar feeling for me that I rarely ever opened up to others. Except in the rarest of cases. It was even rarer for someone to actually care about me when I most needed it in those situations.
She reached a hoof out and checked my temperature. "It’s gone down; that’s good."
I nodded agreeably before feeling a buildup in my nose and releasing a sneeze. Cadance smiled, "Faust bless you."
I tilted my head and looked at her. "Now how is that saying multiversal?" I asked with a short laugh.
Cadance hummed curiously with an equally tilted head, "I’m not sure." Then she released a short giggle.
I felt a small shiver and saw the inviting warmth of Cadance’s fur beckoning me forth into more cuddles. But kept myself away for my own good. Cadance slowly got off the bed and nudged me with a hoof, "Would you like to stay in here?"
"N-No!" I lunged forward and grabbed her hoof. Before quickly releasing it again, not knowing why I’d done that, I said, "I-I want to come with you. If that’s okay." I muttered embarrassingly.
She didn’t make fun of me or laugh; she just gave me a sweet smile and a nod as I walked to the edge, tripping over one hoof and tumbling off the side of the bed clumsily. Only to be immediately corrected by Cadance’s magic, who placed me gingerly against the floor. "Th-Thank you." I mumbled with a sniffle, trying to clear my nose.
She led me out of the room, and I walked with a lot less confidence than I had earlier. Beforehand, I was so sure that they wanted me gone, but now… Well, I may have been walking in Cadance’s tail to hide myself more. Something urged me into feeling that she was the only safe thing around. And even more so, I felt the need to cling to that feeling of safety.
Cadance walked to another one of those crystal devices and spoke to somepony on the other side about bringing more medicine. Afterwards, she hung up and looked down at me. "It’ll be here soon."
I shivered a bit more and almost tripped again. I growled in anger at myself and felt the soothing touch of her hoof again as she helped me back up.
In my attempt to correct my aching limbs, I looked over towards the couch where Shining was watching us, and he quickly gave a wide smile and a small wave. Cadance noticed, leaned down to my level, and whispered, "He’s a big dork." I smiled slightly at that.
She walked over and joined him on the couch, looking back at me to see if I'd follow. I stared awkwardly around myself, wondering what I was supposed to do. She was obviously giving me a choice, and she wasn’t forcing me to do anything. Her and Shining were in conversation; I could just sit here and shrink in my spot or even disappear.
With a sudden shake of my head and boost in confidence, I walked over to where they were, sitting down on the floor right below the couch. They stopped talking and watched me curiously, and I blushed bright red as I stared at my hooves and said, "I-I’m sorry. For yelling at lunch." Was the first thing I could think of to say.
I kept staring for what felt like ages and tilted my head as Shining searched for something to say. Finally, he smiled and gave me a short nod, "No offense taken, Kieran."
I nodded as my gaze shifted towards my hooves. "I know, but I… I don’t want to be mean. I mean… I’m not usually mean! I just..."
Shining laughed a bit, cutting off my rambling: "Everything you’d done is exactly how I’d expect someone to react in your situation. You’re okay, Kieran; don’t worry."
I nodded slowly, "O-Okay, thank you, then."
The door suddenly opened as a mare brought over a glass of water and more medicine. She handed it to Cadance, and she nodded thankfully. "Thank you, Moon Petal." The mare smiled and gave a short bow before retreating.
Cadance placed the water on the floor in front of me and levitated the pill up to my mouth. I sighed to myself as I took the pill and concentrated all I could to pick up the glass in my hooves. I drank swiftly from the glass.
Picking up things for me was rough. It had taken me days once I got here to get a grasp of a single thing. It was quite literally magic. I could only barely grip things by imagining myself closing my metaphorical hand, and even then I had to keep that image of my hand gripping something to continue holding it.
And even that wasn’t enough sometimes, evidently portrayed by the now-falling glass of water that I had lost grip of. Thankfully, attentive as she was, Cadance levitated it, keeping anything but a few spills of water from dropping to the floor.
I stamped my hoof objectively with anger, "I’m sorry, I’m… I’m awful at being a pony." I said with a scoff.
Cadance levitated me up, putting me on the couch between the two. I felt awkward as I stayed silent. She held her hoof out encouragingly. "Put your hoof on mine and try to grip."
I tilted my head a bit, "Sure, I guess…"
I placed my right hoof against Cadance’s left and concentrated on trying to grab her hoof with my own. Due to her hoof being much larger, the most I could seem to muster was a pitiful magnetic-esque connection. Which I lost just as fast when she lit her horn up with magic. I retracted my hoof, holding it with my other and rubbing it. "See? I told you… I couldn’t even concentrate."
She hummed with confusion: "I lit my horn to distract you on purpose. But… that shouldn’t be keeping you from holding things." She said with a slightly worried tone.
Shining chimed in, "Well, if he’s new to hoof magic, honey, maybe that’s not very fair."
She looked down at my hooves, which I was nursing as aches wracked through them, "Did you get hurt?"
I shook my head with a curious gaze. "No? They just sort of ache a little. If I hold things too much it hurts really bad. Isn’t that normal?"
Cadance’s eyes lit up in alarm, but she quickly corrected them to a more curious gaze. "It depends… And your horn? When you escaped our castle, you were-"
"Blowing up," I interrupted. "It’s me literally just blowing myself up. I tried copying ponies on the streets and listening in on conversations. When I finally found my horn and tried to use it, I blew up in a large smoke cloud. And it’s still all I know how to do." I said with a shrug.
She leaned in worriedly as she looked at my horn. "Does… it hurt?"
I nodded worriedly, "Yes, a lot, actually. That time I escaped your castle, I had a throbbing headache for around a week."
"Okay, now that sounds…" Shining started with a hint of nervousness: "Unnatural."
"There’s nothing natural about me being here," I said sadly.
Cadance shook her head and shot Shining a look before she pulled me slightly closer. "We’re here to help you; you won’t have to worry about those things, okay?"
I rubbed my fetlock nervously, "It’s just because I’m new to magic, right? Is something wrong with me?"
"No, not at all, honey," Cadance reassured me before giving me a small hug.
I nodded and leaned in, taking in her warmth and softness. It was like some sort of spell her fur had; I didn’t want to leave the embrace every time.
Cadance looked back up at Shining and began talking quietly. "How’s Flurry?" Cadance inquired.
Shining hummed, "She’s distraught to say the least."
Cadance nodded and shifted into a more comfortable position for both of us. "She definitely seems down lately…"
Shining eyed me nervously as I looked at him curiously. "She called herself a bad pony and daughter. And she thinks she ruined Kieran’s life. And that Kieran hates us because of her." Shining dumped the bad news with a quiet huff.
My eyes widened as I felt a tremendous amount of guilt for myself. ‘Flurry really thought all of that? That was ridiculous!’
Cadance sighed and rubbed her forehead with a hoof. "That filly… Why does she always feel responsible for things she has no right to?"
"She’s like her momma," Shining shot back.
Cadance scoffed, "Oh? And her other quirks are mine too, I presume?" Shining laughed sheepishly.
I suddenly shifted to look up and said, "Cadance… I want to talk to her."
They both seemed shocked. "Kieran," Cadance said with a conflicted face, "I’m sorry… Are you sure, honey?" She asked carefully.
I nodded and squirmed out of her grasp, sliding myself off and onto the floor. I looked back up at the shocked couple, "I told her the first time we talked that it wasn’t her fault. She needs a reminder, I guess." I said while looking towards her door.
"I don’t want to be an issue for anybody else… I’m done making myself other people’s problem..." I muttered.
"You’re not an issue, Kieran. For any of us." Cadance said it a bit sternly but with care.
I huffed and tried my best to smile at her and nod, "Okay, if you say so." I began trotting over to her door. The last thing I needed was Flurry being upset about me, other than the obvious problem of everything that happened not being her fault. I also had a small fear in the back of my head that maybe she thought her parents were replacing her, or maybe her parents would get angry eventually if me and her didn’t make up.
It wasn’t a selfish desire to want to help her, but admittedly, talking to her would be just as beneficial for me as it would be for her too. And so, I got to her door and knocked.
Shining and Cadance watched Kieran walk over to Flurry’s doors and knock, being told to come in, and gingerly open the door and close it. Shining nodded affirmatively as he looked over to Cadance, "I see what you mean."
"About?" Cadance asked with a raised brow.
He shrugged lightly. "He just seems different from earlier, a little more relaxed, y’know?"
Cadance nodded in agreement while she stared at her hooves in thought: "I’m not very happy about what he said involving his magic."
Shining watched her curiously and asked, "Isn’t it just because he’s new? Like he said?"
Cadance quickly shook her head. "No, for an alicorn?" Shining’s features shifted into realization as he became concerned now: "You remember Flurry as a baby. You can’t tell me that filly was getting pain in her horn and hooves when using magic."
Cadance thought a bit more before shaking her head definitively and saying, "No, this is different. He should’ve had a magic surge by now. His power should’ve been uncontrollable without someone helping. Not only is he an alicorn, but a completely untrained one."
Shining sighed nervously as he looked back at the door. "What do you think is wrong?"
Cadance shrugged back, "I have no clue… But I’m thinking I should ask someone else who might." Shining nodded in agreement.
I lifted my hoof to knock, and all was silent for a moment. A few seconds later, I heard the nearly identical voice to mine reply, "Come in," she said simply.
I pushed the door farther open and poked my head inside. Flurry was sitting on her balcony, staring down at the city. I took a few steps in and let the door close behind me, which clicked shut quietly.
She didn’t even glance at the door or move her head at all. Only her ears swiveled in my direction as she released a long sigh: "Momma, I’m fine." Flurry said out loud, expectantly. "I’ve just got a lot on my mind."
I felt unsure of how to approach this, but as I stared down at my hooves, I looked back up with my own sigh, "It’s fine, so do I."
Her head whipped in surprise as she seemed to cower a bit. "K-Kieran?" She straightened herself a bit. "I mean… what can I help you with?" She said trying to give me a smile that was so obviously forced.
I took a few steps in her direction, "Flurry…" I started quietly, "Why are you avoiding me?" I asked the simplest question I could start with.
She stuttered nervously, "A-Avoiding? I’m not avoiding! Why would I…" She seemed to stop herself. Maybe she answered her own question in her head, or maybe she knew it was too obvious to lie about.
Surprisingly, she sighed and turned her back to me. Staring down at the city one more time, she spoke a bit quieter, "Because…" She sighed, seemingly a bit nervous, "It’s all my fault."
I walked over carefully, sitting a few feet away on her right. A moment later, she continued, "And I know you're a nice person and don’t see it that way." She huffed, "But it won’t stop me from seeing it that way."
I glanced at her, "You’re right, I was thinking that." I looked down at the city as well. I could see why she was; it was full of lights and decorations. Ponies going about their daily lives.
I looked back up, "I told you before that it wasn’t your fault. That I appreciated being alive again." I looked down at my body, "Even if I’m not… me anymore."
She seemed to slip further down as she rested her head on her forelegs. "I took everything away from you by accident; why don’t you hate me?"
My eyes widened, and I tilted my head. "What do you mean by that? You didn’t take everything from me; you gave me something I didn’t have before." I smiled.
She looked the other way, and I grew concerned. "No. Sure, I gave you a new life, but I gave you the wrong body, gender, voice, everything!" She whined, "And I took the one thing away that I could give you—a safe place to recover from the shock."
I opened my mouth, intending to talk, but she was faster. "I made you think you were unwanted and hated and…" I could tell she was beginning to cry by the way her voice wavered. "I’m the reason you almost died!"
She choked on her tears. "And the worst part is that I did it all for selfish reasons!" She covered her face with her hooves, "I did it because I wanted a sister, because mom wanted another child. Not because you needed help."
For the first time, she turned to face me, tears streaming down her face and puffy red cheeks. "I’m an awful pony, an awful daughter…" Her lips quivered. "And it’s okay if you hate me, because I hate myself too." She whined while burying her face into her hooves with a whimper.
I was still sitting still in my place, in shock. I wasn’t the best at these sorts of things, and I definitely hadn’t expected all of this to be on her mind. I guess I never expected these sorts of things to be something she’d think about. I had rather selfishly written Flurry off as a child after I met her.
But the Flurry in front of me was different than that. She wasn’t a dumb child with a lot of power that she used on a whim. But a seemingly lonely daughter of a princess who assumed she’d made a mistake. With her mother being the princess of love, no wonder she cared so much for others.
So I found myself stepping forward until I was just in front of her. I gave a long sigh, "Flurry, you have the wrong idea."
She only glanced up for half a second before hiding her face again. So I continued, "Yes, you may have done it for selfish reasons, but that doesn’t mean what you did was wrong." Her ears twitched a bit, and I continued, "I ran away not because of what you said but because of my own fear."
She looked back up curiously, and I sighed again. "You see, I have a really hard time trusting… anybody. And when you revived me, I had just been betrayed by the only person I wholly trusted with my entire heart."
Her eyes widened, but she kept listening intently. "That moment… it will probably always haunt me. Being cold and alone as I released my last breath." I looked at her seriously, "And if I’d known what I’d become, I might’ve been upset. Angry even."
She averted her eyes again, and I paused for a couple of moments. I reached up and put a hoof on her shoulder. "But after floating in the endlessness of death, thinking about nothing but what happened to me, my next sight was you."
I averted my own eyes a bit nervously, "A princess, someone who at that moment had everything I’d probably ever wanted in my life. And she was telling me that I could have it too."
I retracted my hoof from her shoulder and put it on my forehead as I blushed a bit. "And you know what I did? I got scared and ran away. I convinced you that I would be in danger if I stayed. It all sounded too good to be true." I released a short huff of laughter, "Honestly, it still does."
I looked back up and furrowed my brow. "I was an alien from a strange world, and you offered so much to me. And I know after everything happened, it doesn’t seem like it went well, but… you said when you heard me that you heard how sad I was. It was all very selfless and kind. Flurry, you’re not an awful pony." I got a bit closer to her and put both hooves on her shoulders, "Please don’t hate yourself. At least not because of me."
I sat there a bit nervously, not knowing how to continue as I blushed deep red. "Well, uhm… anyway… that’s-"
I felt her forelegs wrap around me and squeeze tight as she cried again. A slow smile spread on my face as I returned the hug, and she whimpered, "You’re still too nice!" She cried, "But I guess… I guess we both got confused and did things we regret."
I nodded and rubbed her back; it was odd hugging something the exact same size as myself after being here for so long. "We both do our best when we can."
She sniffled a bit as she rested her muzzle on my shoulder. "And when our best isn’t good enough, what do we do?"
I could tell the question was important to her, and I thought about it carefully for a few seconds. I pulled back and put my hoof under her muzzle. "We do it anyway, and we hold our heads up and take failure in stride." I tilted my head and shrugged, "Or something like that; I don’t really know what I’m saying anymore."
Flurry giggled, "Me either."
She grabbed my hoof with hers, "I wanted a sister at first, but… I think it’s best if we start as friends." She gave a small, nervous smile.
I smiled back and said, "That’s a good idea. But I'd never be your sister anyway."
A look of horror crossed her face, and I quickly continued with a small laugh, "Because I’d be your brother."
Her smile almost seemed to brighten up the room, and she quickly brought me back into another hug. We stayed embraced on the balcony for a little while, and she mumbled into my shoulder. "Mfmba gfamez?"
I pulled back and tilted my head at her, "What was that?"
She smirked, "Does that mean you’ll play video games with me?"
I nodded with a laugh, "I never thought you’d ask. I’ve been dying to see them!"
She smirked, "Well, technically, you have died to see them." She immediately widened her eyes and covered her mouth with a hoof, "Sorry."
I laughed quite loudly at that. "No, that was good. You’re right." I continued to laugh, and she joined in a bit.
If her humor and personality were going to be like that, I could see us getting along just fine.