//------------------------------// // Call This What You Wish // Story: Trix of the Trade // by Crysis Commander //------------------------------// As the moon slowly began to creep farther and farther into the sky, the two stallions sat by a campfire, discussing various life experiences before the dark grip of sleep took over. "So, Sky, why exactly are you looking for this mare?" Harley asked. Sky had to ponder a bit before he answered. There were so many reasons why he knew he had to find her. How could he limit his options? "Well, I just think she's the prettiest mare alive! Not only that, but she's also the nicest mare I've ever known." "Where did you say you met her, again?" inquired the burly earth pony, growing more curious with every response. "She was a dancer at some club I went to. There were some pretty good dancers there, but she was the best," Sky replied, trailing off at the thought of Trixie. Harley's expression stiffened. He knew exactly what Sky was talking about, though it seemed Sky didn't realize the same. "Mares like that are nothing but trouble," the earth pony replied. When he heard this, the pegasus snapped back to reality, ears perked and eyes wide. "No way! Trixie is the most wonderful pony that ever existed! How could she possibly be trouble?" Harley looked away from his pegasus companion. He couldn't bare to look Sky in the face, especially since his expression reminded him of one he had known all too well long ago. "Hey, what's wrong, buddy?" Sky asked, scooting a little closer to the depressed-looking earth pony. Harley sighed. He didn't want to reveal his past to anypony, let alone somepony like Clear Sky, but under the circumstances, he found that this was entirely unavoidable. "I...um...I just know that mares in her 'profession' are nothing but trouble. Just trust me, Sky." Sky's brow raised at the earth pony's comment. He may not have been the sharpest tool in the shed, but he knew that Harley wasn't telling him something. "Come on. What's really the matter, Harley?" the pegasus asked. The earth pony glanced back at Sky's face, but quickly looked away. He couldn't hold it in anymore. "I dated a stripper once," said Harley, "I...I thought we were inseparable. We settled down, had a foal; everything was going great." Before he continued, Sky adjusted his position on the dirt so that he could prepare for a lengthy story before bed. "Anyway," the green pony continued, "things were going great. That is, until he showed up." "Who?" asked Sky, his eyes wide with curiosity. "Slick Mane." After he had said this, Harley began to grind his teeth together. His eyebrows lowered, his face scrunched into an intimidating scowl, and his gaze shifted towards the ground. "I didn't think she'd leave me. She told me that she'd given up that life. Then, when he came and said that it was time for her to go...she left. Before she left, she sued me for domestic abuse. I, of course, would never hit a mare, but the jury saw differently. She won custody of our son and everything that both she and I owned. I eventually found out that she put our son up for adoption and he later went on to join a gang. I haven't heard about either of them since." Harley hadn't noticed, but his breathing had steadily increased in velocity as he spoke. Not only this, but his forehead was now dotted with little beads of sweat as the veins in his neck became more apparent. "So you see, Sky? That's why you shouldn't chase after this stripper marefriend of yours. She's gonna break your heart and stomp you into the dust." Harley received no answer. Turning to look back at Sky, he found him fast asleep, curled into a ball on the ground and muttering mindlessly to himself. A small chuckle escaped the earth pony's mouth as he laid a blanket across the sleeping pegasus. "Sleep soundly, Clear Sky. You'll need it to face Slick Mane." The next morning, Harley awoke to the sound of fruit noisily being squeezed. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he noticed Sky squeezing limes into a large pitcher, most of which was already filled with a clear greenish liquid. "Ugh, what time is it?" Harley asked, still trying to awaken himself. "I have no idea. I just woke up and had a craving for limes, so I thought I'd whip up a little something." Harley reached into his bag and retrieved an alarm clock. It was two in the morning. With a huff, Harley let his head drop onto his pillow and tried to escape to his dreams once more. Noticing this, Sky's smile was replaced with a look of disappointment. "Oh well. More for me!" Sky then proceeded to grab the pitcher and down the entire liter of straight lime juice. Licking his lips, the pegasus looked upwards to the still visible stars above. "Don't worry, Trixie. I'll save you no matter what it takes." "Was it really necessary to squeeze a pitcher of lime juice at two in the morning, Sky?" "I'm sorry, Harley. I was just kinda thirsty." As the duo of stallions trekked onward, their path began to grow increasingly verdant, giving way to taller and taller vegetation until they both were surrounded in a rain forest-like environment. "Are you sure we're going the right way?" asked Sky, gazing at the various trees and plants towering over him. "Trust me. I know I saw him go in this direction. I always remember a face, especially his." Sky paused mid-stride to raise a brow at his companion. What was that supposed to mean? he thought. Sky's thoughts were interrupted, however, by the sudden yet quick movement of a rather odd looking flower near him. The pegasus bent down to get a better look at the little plant. "Did you just move?" the pegasus asked the stationary flower. The plant gave him no response. With a shrug, the winged pony was about to rejoin the earth pony far ahead of him until the flower moved once more, this time more prominently. Sky squinted at the flower, staring at it's red-speckled petals and multiple rows of teeth. "Wait, flowers don't have teeth," he said aloud. He was answered from a low hissing noise coming from the flower. The plant had looked innocent before, but now it had opened a pair of beady black eyes just above it's mouth, grinning at the petrified pony. "Harley!" Sky screamed. The pegasus broke into a wild gallop, barely dodging the snapping jaw of the murderous plant. Sky took to the air and bolted in the direction of his earth pony friend. --- "Sky?" Harley asked his surroundings. He could have sworn he heard Sky screaming somewhere in the distance. As he was about to turn around and continue down the path, a pale blue dot caught his eye. Looking closer, he noticed that the dot was becoming larger and was approaching him at break-neck speed. It didn't take long before it became apparent that the object in question was actually Clear Sky speeding like a bullet towards the earth pony. "Slow down ki-" Harley managed to utter before the pegasus plowed into him, sending them both tumbling over themselves and come to a stop at a sturdy bush. "It's gonna kill me!" Sky exclaimed, locking Harley in an unbearably tight embrace. The earth pony attempted to loosen Sky's grip on him, but to no avail. "Sky, calm down! Nothing's going to kill you." Suddenly, several ponies pounced out of the nearby bushes, spears raised and eyes focused on their apparent targets: the two stallions. "Well...that was unexpected," Harley remarked. The pegasus loosened his grip on the earth pony as one of the spear-toting ponies stepped forward. "Herka derka derka. Malemnem," he said. Sky and Harley looked at each other and back at the other pony in confusion. "Why are they covered in mud and leaves?" Sky asked in a hushed whisper. "Forget that, what the hay is he saying?" responded Harley in a tone as hushed as Sky's. Just as suddenly as the two stallions were ambushed, Sky got an idea. He straightened up, cleared his throat, and cantered toward the mysterious leaf-covered stallion. "What are you doing? You're going to get us killed!" Harley whispered harshly. Turning his head back to his comrade, Sky winked. "Don't worry. I got this." Harley rubbed his forehead with a hoof as Sky opened his mouth to speak. "Nice going, Sky," said Harley sarcastically. "I didn't know they were gonna tie us up!" Sky exclaimed. The tribal ponies continued to carry the two poles, now occupied by the two bound stallions. As they continued, Sky noticed that they seemed to be drawing closer to a quaint little village. Straw huts stood steadfast as the bound stallions were carried by, tribal painted mares and foals staring at them all the while. The tribal stallions placed each pole on two split grooves, each over a pile of wood. This didn't worry the two stallions much until they noticed one of the painted ponies carrying a torch cantering towards the piles of wood below them. Harley attempted to stare down the torch-carrier while Sky struggled maniacally against his bindings. "Hindi wertlai," said the painted pony now standing in front of Sky. "Okay. I have no idea what you're saying, but please don't burn me! I don't even taste that good; believe me, I've tried." This didn't stop the pony from lowering the torch the wood that Sky was hanging just a few feet over. As the flames continued to rise, Sky desperately tried to blow them out, unaware that simply his breath wouldn't be enough to cease the growing fire. The tribal mares and foals gathered around a large, flat stone; adorning it with plates and stone eating utensils. Others were gathering assorted vegetables from their huts and placing them on the stone. Some of the foals were bouncing around excitedly, chanting in some language the two stallions had never heard before. "Wait. What's for dinner?" Sky asked, puzzled. "Don't you get it? They're going to eat us!" Harley exclaimed. It took a moment for Sky to absorb the earth pony's words, but once he did, his struggling against the restraining grasp of the rope became even stronger. "Dinky ding!" cried one of the painted stallions to the torch pony, showing him the limes in Sky's saddlebag. "Hey! Those are my limes! Leave them alone!" Sky exclaimed, quickly remembering to continue trying the blow out the flames below. Once the torch pony saw the green fruits, his eyes widened as he began to mumble incoherently as he galloped into one of the huts. He re-emerged with a wooden pale of water and proceeded to throw it on the fire, causing Sky to breathe a sigh of relief. "Wow, thanks. I almost died there." The torch pony then cut both of the stallions from their bindings and motioned form them to follow him. Seeing no other option, Harley and Sky cantered behind the painted pony through the dirt path surrounded by shanty huts and staring onlookers. They hadn't gone far before they stopped at what appeared to be a large shrine adorned with beautiful flowers and other valuable-looking items. Upon this shrine was a stone statue of a pegasus stallion; wings outstretched, holding a lime in his right hoof. Behind the statue sat several limes, perhaps as a tribute. Sky turned around to find the villagers kneeling before him. "Hey cool, they think I'm their god," he remarked. Harley nudged the pegasus, signaling that they needed to be going or else they would loose Slick Mane's trail. With a new look of determination, Sky nodded towards Harley. "You're right. Let's go!" Sky was about to leave, but was stopped by the torch pony. He placed a small bowl of red dye on the ground and proceeded to paint various markings across Sky's face: two long streaks beneath the eyes curving down his cheeks and several shorter streaks down his chin and across his forehead, finished by a long streak down his snout.. "Hikina ai kala," said the the torch pony. "Uh, thanks," Sky stuttered as he slowly began to canter away from the crowd of painted tribesponies. "I think I might want to go back there once I rescue Trixie," said Sky, grinning to himself. Harley's expression stiffened as he trotted alongside his pegasus companion. "Yeah, I've seen that stallion. He just left here five minutes ago," the bartender answered. "Thanks," the green earth pony said as he and his pale blue pegasus companion exited the bar. "Hey Harley, how did we get from a rain forest to a bar?" Sky asked. "Plot convenience, my friend. Plot convenience." The two stallions hadn't gone a mile before they spotted him. Not only was the purple suited stallion only a gallop away, but a blue unicorn was with him. A blue unicorn with a swirled, sparkly white mane and tail. Trixie.