I Taste Underwear

by Chuckward


I spit out the underwear.

I was surrounded by miniature multicolored equines, by jove that's the strangest occurance since the Gruntilda incident.

"Sup," I said worriedly.

Sensing the worry in my worried tone they got worried as to why I was worried, or at least that's the only explanation for what happened next.

Twilight Sparkle hopped on top of pop and began to viciously beat him to death.

"Goodness Twi-,"

Shit, I can't call them by their actual names, that would be suspicious, then I'd have to tell them that they're fictional characters in a show about ponies having adventures.

"Erm, purple guy, stop hopping on pop, and please don't beat him to death."

"I have to do this,"she replied,"pop is a wanted criminal in the gleebeck galaxy."

"Glenn Beck has his own galaxy?"

"Who the hell is Glenn beck?"

"He's a singer or something."

Unfortunately pop(or as he is actually called Dextro 7) used Twilight's destractedness to his advantage and punched her with enough force to send her flying around the world, coming to a stop on the other side of his fist.

"I have you now Twilight Sparkle, or should I say? Collin Mochreen!!!"

Pop pulled off Twilight's face revealing that she actually had eight praying mantis heads underneath. Then pop transformed back into Twilight Sparkle cause it was actually her in disguise.Her friends stared at her in astonishment.

"You mean pop was actually Twilight in disguise," asked Applejack.

"No," replied Twilight," the real pop is out there somewhere, laughing angrily as he sips an appletini."

I spit out the underpants.

Then the room began to spin, slowly at first, then it got faster and faster until we were spinning at the speed of light. The walls began to secrete Cornish Game Hens at an alarming rate, soon I would be nothing but a pile of green beans.
Thankfully we were spinning so fast that the Cornish Game Hens turned into velociraptors for obvious reasons. The velociraptors formed a pyramid so that a wormhole could open up and teleport out of the spinning library.

When we appeared on the other side of the wormhole there was nothing but juice, juice buildings, juice statues, and juice ponies. Applejack thankfully had Dorito rockets so the juice ponies didn't notice us. We took our new velociraptor army to Canterlot to confront Celestia. Thankfully Twilight remembered to turn off the stove this morning, so she was able to simply teleport us to The castle.

When we arrived Celestia was playing hopscotch with bunnies.

" Traitor," yelled Rarity as she charged Celestia. Celestia used her diaper beam to kill Rarity and then approached the mane six, handing each of them a bag of fermented beans.

"I understand now," said Twilight," I'm sorry for doubting you."

Unbeknownst to Fluttershy she was being chased by bears with shark heads.


This seems like a good place for a cliffhanger.