“So, why are you coming to me with this?” I ask the blue mare on the other side of the door as she stood there with her white mane draped over her shoulders and in magician’s attire.
She smiles at me, “Well, as you’re undoubtedly aware, Princess Twilight Sparkle and, “she poses on her hind legs and raises her voice, “The Great and Powerful Trixie” she gets back to all fours. “are now an item and I wanted your insight into something?”
I frown, “Why my insight? Don’t you have friends?”
Her eyes widen, “Well, I would talk to Starlight about it, but…”
I cut her off, “Say no more! That’s why you came over while she’s away at work, isn’t it?”
She frowns and stares off to the side, “Um, yes…”
I nod, “Okay, so why me? I guess Discord wasn’t the best choice for this, huh?”
Her eyes squint while her mouth scrunches in annoyance, “NO! We’re not doing that!” they normalize and she smiles at me…
I stand there awkwardly, “So wait! What did you want again?”
<*****>
I trot in through the front door and turn my head skyward, “Ugh! Horn ring shopping is SO BORING!!!!!” before looking down and sniffing the air to smell something burning… I also hear giggling coming from the kitchen… It sounds like… FILLIES!
I trot into the kitchen just in time to see Sweetie Belle banging on a pot with her hooves like a drum.
BAM BAM BAM!
Scootaloo looks over right at her from where she is in the middle, “Okay SB! Knock it off already!” before raising her neck to speak to the ponies in the kitchen. “We call this unofficial Cutie Mark Crusaders meeting to order for the re-admittance, “she looks down at a sheet of paper on the floor in front of her, “re-acceptance, re-education, responsible-ness, reciprocity… re-plicated” she stumbles to say the last word before looking back at Sweetie Belle to the right. “Did you just eventually start listing re words?”
Sweetie Belle looks over to Scootaloo at her left from her position seated in front of the pot and smiles meekly, “Maybe?”
Scootaloo adjust her gaze back forward, where a small pink pegasus filly is standing and smiling nervously in her direction and sighs with her eyes skyward, before adjusting them back down to the foal before her, “Cozy Glow! This is an unofficial CMC meeting and you’re now a Crusader again, if and only if you accept! Do you agree to be a Cutie Mark Crusader and to follow our guidance and to be a responsible member of society or whatever?”
Apple Bloom turns her neck from Scootaloo’s right and finally says, “That’s a bit watered-down, don’t you think?”
Scootaloo turns her neck back towards the apple filly, “Well, I don’t have my notes and it’s the best I can do!”
Apple Bloom frowns, “Your memory sure is bad, Scoots!”
Both fillies turn back to the pink filly who says, “Golly gee, I sure do! Being a Crusader sure sounds swell, although,” she frowns. “I’m still not sure why you’re doing this? I mean, being so nice and giving me another chance?”
Scootaloo frowns, “Well Cozy, we think you just got some bad advice and need a little coaching is all!”
“That’s some pretty bad advice!” Cozy comments blankly.
The other Crusaders giggle as Sweetie says, “Well, that’s behind us now Cozy and we all know that you can do better!”
Apple Bloom nods and adds, “Sure can!”
Scootaloo smiles, “You bet!”
At this point, my filly’s eyes are growing misty as tears begin to form in them, “Gee, you guys are, just so swell! You’re the best!”
“AWWWWWWW!” The other three Crusaders say almost in unison before charging the young pegasus for a big hug!
I finally trot in and comment, “That is so sweet and cute!”
The fillies all disengage to stare at me in a mass of small ponies now on the kitchen floor as Scootaloo says, “We’re not that cute!”
Sweetie excitedly comments, “We’re adorable!” while her little body shakes!
Apple Bloom says to Sweetie, “Shut up, Sweetie!”
<*****>
I’ll admit that I found it odd that Trixie would call my cell and ask for my daughter. I did ask her why and she said not to worry about it and that Cozy would not be harmed… I decided my filly could make her own judgments as she stood there with my Ponysung Universe phone crooked on the right side of her face with her floppy ear over the top of it…
“Okay, but what has that got to do with me?” She asked the magician pony on the other end.
Trixie is speaking with Cozy as Cozy nods and says, “Yeah! Uh huh! Okay!”
And then she stares up at me and asks. “Mom! Can I help Trixie seduce Twilight Sparkle?”
My eyes widen as I use my right hoof to snatch the phone and bring it to my right ear, “What are you asking my child to do?”
“Well, The Great and Powerful Trixie, awesome as she is, does need a little help in the romance department. And so I ask you, what’s more adorable than fillies?”
I frown, “Well there’s puppies! Kittens! You might try flowers and chocolate?”
Trixie angrily replies, “No no no! I want to do something different! And well, Cozy can fly and there are just so many things we could do with that!”
I stare down at my filly who smiles at me with a big toothy grin…
<*****>
My filly sits at the table in front of her juice, “That was dumb! Flying over the park with a big banner like that! And watching Trixie and Twilight kiss was just gross! MEGA GROSS!” before sticking her tongue out in disgust! She returns it to her mouth, “Grosser than even you and Starlight!”
My eyes widen, “Wait! They were kissing?”
Cozy blinks at me, “Well, yeah! That’s one of the things ponies do when they’re going out like that and well…” she closes her eyes. “I don’t like to think about it!”
I smile and giggle, “Well, maybe one day you won’t mind?”
She opens them again, “I doubt it!”
My smile lowers, “Still, this could only mean they’re getting closer… “
Cozy stares up at me with her brown pupils, “So what does that mean for us exactly?”
I stare down, “Well, theoretically, nothing! But…”
<*****>
Starlight stares at me from the red EZ-chair on the other side of the living room and says, “So, Twilight has been asking me about Trixie!”
I enlarge my view, “What?”
She smiles dimly, “Yeah, it seems the Princess of Friendship is somewhat lacking in the romance department! I swear, her and Trixie at least have that in common!”
I nod, “Okay, but how did she ask you?”
“She teleported in! She’s an alicorn princess! How else would she do it?”
I decide not to inform my love that phones and letters exist and nod instead, “Okay, so what did she ask you?”
Starlight frowns, “Well, mostly basic information sort of things? Like what her favorite foods are, what she does for fun, her sense of humor and things like that!”
“You know she’s keeping a notebook on this right?”
Starlight sighs and looks at the ceiling, “Well, obviously!”
I nod, “So uh, both Twilight and Trixie stink at romance? They must make quite the pair!”
Starlight lowers her eyes to me with a naughty while smiling devilishly, “Yeah! Not like my baby at all!”
I nod again and smile,”Of course! Ready to go to bed baby?”
Starlight continues grinning at me as she gets up off her chair, “Well, not just yet, no…”
My eyes widen when I realize what we’re about to do on the couch…
<*****>
I’m talking to Starlight with my phone perched at my right ear, “What do you mean, I’ll never guess where you are? Where are you?”
She says from the other end, “I’m at the courthouse…”
I frown, “Wait, what? Why are you at the courthouse?”
“Well, they perform certain ceremonies there and…”
I’m silent for a moment,“So Twilight finally screws somepony and then they get hitched?”
Starlight is quiet herself, before saying, “Well, that’s a pretty blunt way of putting it?”
I frown, “But I’m right though!”
Starlight sighs, “Well, yeah… So, what do we do now?”
“Well, live our own lives! What else can we do?”
Starlight is silent, “I just don’t want Twilight to get hurt…”
“Yeah, me neither… Odd that I’d be saying that about her later on!”
“Well, I’ll talk to you later sweetie! I love you!”
I smile again, “I love you more!”
“No way!”
“Yes way, my Starlight snookum pie bear!”
“I gotta go!” And then the call cuts with a click…
Suddenly, I hear gagging coming from my right and I adjust my gaze just in time to see a pink pegasus filly remove her forehoof from her mouth and stare up at me, “So uh, since they made out and stuff, I’m guessing Twilight said yes?”
I eye this filly carefully, “What?”
Cozy nods, “Well, the banner said, Will you marry me and since they made out and everything, that means Twilight and Trixie are gonna get married?”
“Why didn’t you tell me about this earlier?”
Her eyes widen, “Oh golly gee, I didn’t think it really mattered? I mean, what does Twilight and Trixie have to do with you?”
I blink, “Maybe nothing… Maybe… Anyway, they’re married now!”
“Really? I figured Twilight getting married would be a huge ceremony or whatever?”
Suddenly, there’s another blinding purple flash right next to my foal!
Who promptly stares at it wide-eyed and screams, “AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!” she shakes her head and furrows her brow. “You’re doing that on purpose, aren’t you?”
Twilight stares at the filly, “Actually, I’m really not! You’re just very unlucky!” before adjusting her gaze to me. “Crystal, you gotta help me! We need to plan a wedding!”
(To be continued…)