As the ponies were being sent by the Unity Crystals to their next location, Opaline had arrived in the mortal world herself... more specifically on Burger Beard's ship. As soon as she arrived, Burger Beard had her follow his map to something that he was sure could help them in their domination schemes. Burger Beard assured her in his gravelly pirate voice that she had nothing to worry about.
They had been... confidants ever since Burger Beard accidentally mistook her for a horse to pull one of his treasure wagons, but after that misunderstanding had been cleared up, they realized they had their dreams of domination in common, and would make sure they would keep finding ways to help them both get what they want.
And finally, Burger Beard thought he had finally found it.
XXXXXXXXX
Burger Beard and Opaline finally pulled the dinghy onto the shores of an island known as the Bikini Atoll, the dark alicorn panting tiredly, since she did not have her dragon fire magic. “That was EXHAUSTING!!” she exclaimed. “That treasure better be close by, or else... well, you probably don't want to know or else.”
“Do not worry, beautiful maiden,” Burger Beard assured her slyly. “You have gotten me this far, and now... I shall lead us the rest if the way.”
He took out his map, and Opaline glanced over his shoulder to see that the treasure they were looking for was on the opposite side of the island!
Opaline groaned to herself. This was just great... now her hooves would be completely chipped by the time she got back to Burger Beard's accursed boat!
Nevertheless, she decided to follow the pirate and see what all the hullabaloo was really about.
XXXXXXXXX
Later, Burger Beard was chopping through the branches on the island while Opaline was trying to avoid anything that would ruin her complexion, such as mud and twigs and insects.
Soon enough, they stopped so Burger Beard could look at his map again, and that's when Opaline saw a sign with the words 'Booby Traps' in big letters, obviously a warning. “Booby traps? HA!!”
She used a blast of her magic to destroy the sign, leaving it in crumpled flaming pieces as she and Burger Beard walked on, passing a skeleton on the ground, a tarantula within it as they smirked to themselves.
Another minute passed, and they saw something, making them quickly halt. Before them was a clear path leading to a skeleton who is holding a book, sitting on a chair. “Ah...” Burger Beard sighed. “There you are, my lovely.”
“...a book?” Opaline deadpanned before looking at the pirate with a furious expression. “WE WALKED THROUGH MILES OF JUNGLE AND RUINED MY QUEENLY IMAGE FOR A BOOK?!”
“N-N-Not just any book, my dear Opaline!” Burger Beard protested out of fright. “This book has magical properties, to which we will use to rewrite our stories and make them the way WE want them to be. You as Equestria's rightful alicorn leader, and me as the richest pirate in the seven seas.”
Opaline seemed to consider this. Sure, this pirate fool had dragged her out here through miles of jungle, but... the thoughts of being Equestria's true queen was enough to get her excited beyond compare... though not as excited as she would have been with the dragon fire.
How could she possibly say no to an offer like that? “All right... but I'm not laying a hoof to get it for you. I'm Opaline Arcana, not some sort of treasure fetching hound.”
“Of course not. You shall stay here while I retrieve my-- er, uh... OUR prize.”
He then walked down the path, evading every booby trap on the path, silently impressing Opaline.
Misty would have probably triggered every single one of them by accident.
Finally, Burger Beard finally reached the skeleton that held the book. “What's that? Take the book? I don't mind if I do.”
He quickly grabbed the book from the skeleton, making it fall over and into pieces. Slowly, he began to walk the other way, softly rubbing the book's cover. “At last, it is mine. Finally, you are mine...”
But suddenly, to Opaline's shock, the skeleton began to reassemble itself! But Burger Beard didn't look the least bit intimidated as the skeleton struck a fighting pose. “Bring it on, skinny. You don't scare me.”
The skeleton quickly did a left punch, but Burger Beard avoided it. The skeleton did a right punch, but Burger Beard avoided it. The skeleton did a left punch again, but Burger Beard blocked it with the book. But finally, the skeleton did a powerful left punch, which sent Burger Beard, who was still holding onto the book, to go soaring into the air.
Opaline sighed under her breath at this... always her having to save the day, she supposed. She quickly blasted the skeleton, turning it to dust before she flew off after the pirate, specifically toward the ship she assumed that he would land in.
XXXXXXXXX
Back on the ship, four seagulls were playing a round of Go Fish, the perfect card game if you were a pirate at sea.
“You got any sevens?”
“Go fish!”
Suddenly, Burger Beard harshly landed on the ship, but stood up as soon as Opaline arrived. “Is that all you got?!”
He quickly kissed the book and swung to the wheel, pulled up the anchor, and Opaline opened the sail, prompting the ship to start moving.
After a while, he pushed a button labeled "Auto-Pirate", sat down and opened the book to begin reading, with Opaline at his side. “Once upon a time,” Burger Beard began, “under the sea, there was a little town called Bikini Bottom.”
Opaline stiffled a laugh at such a name, but held herself together as Burger Beard kept reading. “In this town, there was a place called The Krusty Krab. Every greasy spoon has a fry cook, and the one who worked here was named... SpongeBob Squarepants.”
Suddenly, the seagulls around them began to a sing a song about this SpongeBob fellow, like he was some sort if famous celebrity or something.
Seagulls: Oh...
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
SpongeBob SquarePants!
Absorbent and yellow and porous is he
SpongeBob SquarePants
If nautical nonsense is something you wish
SpongeBob SquarePants
Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish!
SpongeBob SquarePants!
SpongeBob Square--
“ENOUGH!!” Opaline screeched, letting the song come to a screeching halt. “There's only one thing worse than talking birds, and that would be... SINGING BIRDS!!!”
“Okay, I promise not to siiiiiing!!” sang one seagull, prompting another one to point to some skeleton birds dressed as a mariachi band. “Take it from us,” the first said, causing the second one to agree. “She really does hate singing birds.”
The first seagull nearly pooped himself at seeing this, but the second blinked sweetly up at Burger Beard. “Just keep weading. Pwease, Mr. Piwate, sir.”
“Come closer. Let me tell you the tale.”
The seagulls excitedly got closer, but Burger Beard had to stop them when they got too close before he continued telling the story. “Now, SpongeBob loved his job as a fry cook more than anything. And that is saying a lot because he loved everything! He loved his pet snail, Gary. He loved his best friend, Patrick. He loved blowing bubbles and jellyfishing.”
Opaline shuddered-- he sounded too much like those pathetic ponies than she would have liked. “He loved making Krabby Patties for the folks of Bikini Bottom just as much as they loved eating them,” Burger Beard continued. “Why, you may ask,
do they love this
greasy little sandwich so much? Why did they eat them for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, despite their doctor's warnings? It was a secret. No one was sure what was in these patties that made them so delicious. And, frankly, no one cared... except for Plankton.”
Opaline immediately sat up at this-- with a villain involved, now things were getting interesting. “Plankton owned a restaurant right across the street from The Krusty Krab, where no one ate because the food was really bad,” Burger Beard said bluntly. “Plankton had made it his life's work to steal the recipe. And SpongeBob was always there to protect it. But today, things... would be different.”
Burger Beard closed the book with a smirk. “With this book, we can change this town's pathetic story, while giving ours a leg up from villain to all Supreme beings! And you, my dearest Opaline... will finally be in your rightful place.”
To this, Opaline chuckled maliciously. “My rightful place... I do like the sound of that.”