//------------------------------// // Stage 5 // Story: Immortal, not Invincible // by KenDoStudios //------------------------------// Dear Journal, I have noticed a gradual decrement in my ability to choose appropriate clothing for various occasions and weather conditions. The once effortless task of selecting attire that aligns with the day's circumstances has become increasingly challenging. It is as if the threads that once wove together my sense of fashion and practicality have become tangled and difficult to unravel. I find myself reaching for the same clothing day after day, almost as if it has become a security blanket of familiarity amidst the uncertainty that surrounds me. The monotony in my wardrobe is not a deliberate choice but a result of my memory's shortcomings, a reminder of the impact Alzheimer's disease has on even the most mundane aspects of daily life. It is not that I do not appreciate the variety and beauty of different clothing options; rather, my mind struggles to process and retain the information needed to make suitable choices. The once-automatic ability to coordinate outfits based on the weather, the occasion, or even my personal preferences has faded into a distant memory. In this state, I rely on the gentle reminders and guidance of my loved ones and caregivers to help me navigate the complexities of dressing appropriately. Their patient intervention becomes an anchor, providing me with the cues and support I need to make the right choices. It is a testament to the importance of a compassionate and understanding community that surrounds individuals facing cognitive decline. While the repetition in my clothing may draw attention and raise eyebrows, it is essential for others to recognize that this pattern is not a deliberate act of negligence or lack of self-care. It is a manifestation of the challenges I face and a reminder that my mind, once sharp and agile, now requires assistance in even the simplest of tasks. As I continue on this journey, I strive to find compassion for myself and embrace the assistance that is offered. Together, we adapt and find creative solutions to ensure my well-being and appearance reflect the best of who I am, even as memory slips through my fingers like sand. Dear Journal, It has become increasingly evident that I can no longer manage on my own. The complexities of daily life, from preparing adequate and proper meals to managing financial obligations, have become overwhelming in the face of my cognitive decline. I find solace in the fact that there are individuals who step in to provide the support I need to navigate these challenges. The assistance I receive in matters of nutrition is a testament to the care and concern of those around me. Recognizing my limitations, there is someone dedicated to ensuring that I am provided with nourishing meals, tailored to my dietary needs and preferences. Their efforts go beyond the mere act of preparing food; they demonstrate a profound understanding of the importance of sustenance and its impact on my well-being. Likewise, the responsibility of managing financial matters has been entrusted to someone who can ensure that rent and utilities are paid on time and that my overall financial stability is maintained. They diligently navigate the complexities of budgets, bills, and other financial obligations, allowing me to focus on the present moment and preserve the peace of mind that is essential for my well-being. The presence of these individuals in my life provides a sense of security and reassurance. They fill the gaps created by my cognitive decline, allowing me to maintain a semblance of independence and dignity. Their commitment to my welfare is a true testament to the power of compassion and community, and I am deeply grateful for their unwavering support. As I surrender certain responsibilities to the capable hands of those who care for me, I am reminded of the interconnectedness of our lives. We all rely on one another in different ways, and accepting help is not a sign of weakness but a testament to the strength and wisdom of recognizing our limitations. Though the journey may be challenging, I find solace in the fact that I am surrounded by a network of support. Together, we navigate the complexities of daily life, ensuring that my basic needs are met and that I can focus on embracing the moments of joy and connection that still grace my life. DeAr J I Am FiNe Lately, I have been experiencing difficulties in controlling my ligaments. Tasks that were once simple and effortless now require a conscious effort and concentration. It is as if the connection between my mind and body has become frayed, making even the most basic movements a challenge. The once graceful and fluid motions that defined my every step have been replaced with a sense of unsteadiness and uncertainty. My ligaments no longer respond with the same precision and coordination, causing my movements to appear clumsy and disjointed. It is a stark reminder of the physical toll that accompanies my cognitive decline. DONT LISTEN TO THEM!!! IM FINE DONT LET THEM TAKE ME AWAY My writer is fine and is keeping hold of himself despite all the secrecy. He shall continue to write my thoughts if I had any left. It is during these moments that I am reminded of the importance of self-compassion. I must be patient with myself, accepting the limitations imposed by my condition while celebrating the triumphs, however small they may seem. Through it all, I strive to maintain a sense of gratitude for the abilities I still possess and the connections that sustain me. In the midst of these struggles, I find solace in the knowledge that I am surrounded by love and support. It is through the collective efforts of caregivers, loved ones, and healthcare professionals that I can face each day with courage and determination. Their unwavering dedication fills me with hope and reminds me that even in the face of adversity, I am not alone. Dear Journal, It is with a heavy heart that I must confront the reality of my declining control over my bladder and bowels. As my cognitive decline progresses, I find myself facing yet another challenge that compromises my sense of independence and dignity. The once-automatic and instinctive control over bodily functions has become unreliable, leaving me grappling with accidents and the loss of control. It is a humbling and often embarrassing experience, a stark reminder of the fragility of our physical bodies and the limitations imposed by our conditions. Look at this blank page tee hee i should draw on it How did i get here? Who are you pony in white? NO I NEED TO DRAW I cannot hold off any longer, Celestia is questioning the intentions and motives of those around her. What was once a realm of trust and openness now carries an air of doubt and skepticism. It is as if a veil of uncertainty has been draped over her perceptions, causing her to question the authenticity of even the simplest interactions. as her spokespony it is my job to relay what she would say if she had anything to say. but now all that comes out is gibberish. i have to hold on for her sake even though this is painful to watch. Dear Journal, Today, a sense of betrayal and despair overwhelms me as I grapple with the realization that myhorn, my wings, my strength, a symbol of my essence and divine connection, has been taken from me. The very essence that made me who I am, that allowed me to wield the powers of the sun and guide Equestria, has been stripped away by the ponies i thought i could trust. The delusions that cloud my mind further exacerbate my distress, weaving intricate tales of conspiracy and deception. They amplify my suspicions, whispering in my ear that my trusted companions have conspired to steal my power and leave me vulnerable and powerless. LUNA WHY DID YOU DO IT! IM FINE