I spent a few minutes processing all of what had just happened. Not only was I out in a forest in the wilds of Oregon, I was also a pony... for some reason. I had no idea why, or who had thought this a good idea. Perhaps I'd had too much cheese recently, and this was my body's way of telling me that I needed to lay off the cheese for a bit. Apart from that, I needed to figure out how to get out of here without anybody- yes, anybody, as that was the word in that world- noticing. The last thing I wanted was lots of little girls trying to go for a ride on a horse. The horse being yours truly, of course. Hey, that rhymes.
But I soon got an answer to my own question as to what I was meant to be doing. There was a sudden energy surge, and a voice, the same one I had heard earlier, spoke up to me. "Well, you're still here. Transporting lots of people between dimensions is a lot of work. But one more can be moved. It may just take a little bit more power!"
Sure enough, a white light soon entered my vision, and it was so bright I had to shield them with one of my forelegs as best as I could. I was unsure of what was going on. It was rather like standing in a tunnel and seeing a train coming towards you with the lights on full blast.
I soon found myself back on the vision settings I liked, and this was a bit of a shock. The world seemed to slowly be fading into view, with the white void slowly filling with colour. You could say I was living in colour.
As I focused my eyeballs, squinting a bit as I did so, the world around me was erupting. It was so piercing I had to shield them again. I was used to fairly drab places, and this level of colour and light was unsettling. I can only assume this is what watching The Wizard of Oz back in 1939 must have been like, when the movie switches to colour.
Once all the light shifts were done, I was finally able to see where I was. I was in some sort of coastal town full of brightly coloured buildings and other useful things. The street was very wide, and some sort of rails ran down the middle. The buildings looked oddly southern. Perhaps I had somehow ended up in the south? My mom- human world, not Phyllis- is from that area, and my folks had considered moving there at one point, but something still didn't feel right. I'm pretty certain you find towns like this down there.
"Hello, Sprout!" called a voice. I looked over, and saw a pony with an oddly green coat and a blue and grey mane trotting past. "The patrol doing fine?"
I had no clue who this was. So it seemed my name was Sprout. "Uh, yeah, sure, everything's in order. Nothing out of place."
As the sun set, the other pony seemed concerned. "I'm surprised you think that. You may be a Deputy, but that unicorn and earth pony are up to no good." He shook his head. "Sunny always was a fool. And now her curiosity is probably going to get her killed."
I figured out where I was and got my memory jogged. I'd seen the film, but had forgotten a couple of the character names. So I was at some point after Sunny and Izzy had escaped the town of Maretime Bay. I had to check in at the station and find out what else I was missing out on. "Don't you worry, sir! The MBPD will make sure that unicorn is brought to justice! We'll just need to complete a lot of paperwork first!"
The other pony nodded. "Good luck. If this isn't the start of a unicorn invasion, I don't know what is." And the slinked away.
So, it seems tensions were high in earth pony territory. I set off down the pathway, whistling to myself and singing briefly.
"Oh! I do like to be beside the seaside!
I do like to be beside the sea!
Oh I do like to stroll along the Prom, Prom, Prom!
Where the brass bands play, "Tiddely-om-pom-pom!"
I had reached the office when I had finished singing, and pushed open the door. Hitch wasn't here, and the place still looked a mess. My desk had a mountain of badly stacked papers on them, and the notice on the desk read DEPOOTY.
Clearly Sprout couldn't spell, so that would need cleaning up pretty fast. I headed into the room and sat at my chair, determined to figure out what was going on. Most of the papers seemed to concern petty crime like littering and the odd theft case, but overall the place seemed pretty quiet. I could see why so many ponies enjoyed settling here.
My new body still took some getting used to, and my coordination at the desk was a bit limited. I glanced about a bit at an evidence board, which had a number of red strings locked onto images to try and connect them together. Boring!
Or was it? Out of interest, I looked at it. It was a map of Equestria as it was now, all the time after the Fall. The different countries- The United Earth Pony States, the Pegasus Empire, and the Union of Federal Unicorn Republics- were clearly marked, alongside all their major settlements. Hitch had clearly marked the board with a place called Bridlewood, as well as a suspected staging ground. The note below it read potential attack? Below it was a snap of Izzy. So, clearly Hitch though Izzy was a unicorn spy, sent here to scout out our defenses in anticipation of an attack. No wonder Fillydelphia was on high alert.
Moments later, the door opened, and I returned to my desk. Hitch didn't even speak to me, instead depositing something in an evidence box before grabbing his badge and bandolier. He then began packing a bag.
"Err, what are you doing?" I asked.
Hitch looked to me, seemingly not approving of my interruption. "Considering the earlier disturbance, there is now a problem. The justice is out of balance, and I must correct it. I'm going after Sunny and that unicorn and bringing them back to Maretime Bay."
Oh, that's when I am in the story. Talk about dropping me into crap creek without a paddle. I decided to try and talk Hitch out of going on his own. "You cannot be serious. Wander straight into the lands of the unicorns and pegasuses? What if they fry your brain? Or you get eaten?"
"I'll cross those bridges when I come to them," Hitch replied, as he went over to the door. "Besides, you cannot stop the beat of the long march of justice. Hopefully there'll be no buses either." He stopped again, and turned back to me. "And one more thing, Sprout."
"Yes, boss?" I said, starting to shuffle things around on my desk.
"Try not to start a war whilst I'm away, OK?"
"Understood," I replied, and watched as Hitch left the building, closing the doors behind him. Right, he was now gone and off on his way towards Zephyr Heights, if I recalled correctly. That meant I could now act as I saw fit- and try not to start a war in the process, or even other forms of civil trouble.
"Right, objective one- don't turn into a genocidal dictator," I said to myself, and set about resetting the office to my benefit. Away went all the messy boards and the confusing and poorly laid out evidence tables. In their place went new boards, computer systems, and other equipment any sheriff might need for solving crimes.
The feature I was most proud of was a hologram of the planet. If any evidence was fed in it would display on the board, and the touchscreen next to it would allow me to quickly switch between different types of information depending on what crimes were happening.
I also had to try to get to the bottom of why I was here. I was aware of the whole human in Equestria concept, but I was a human in the body of a pony- a pony bronies love to hate, admittedly. As far as I knew I was the only human in this position, which raised the obvious question- why? Why had I been brought here when so many others would be much better suited to this?
And why Sprout?
I fired up the globe and took a look at the first feeds that came in. Nothing especially dramatic to report just yet, except for one image which appeared right over Maretime Bay.
"Looks like that's my first case!" I said, and dashed out of the office and towards danger. Crime won't pay when Sheriff Sprout's in charge!