//------------------------------// // Blaze Murdered Me. I’m Dead. Oh No. // Story: Before the Night // by Nugget27 //------------------------------// “Ostri, what the buck?” Luna sat bug-eyed, looking up and down the kitsune sitting next to me at the dinner table. The nine-tailed fox was resting her head on the table while I ran a hoof through the fur between her ears. “Why do you have a Kumiho?” Surprisingly, getting food arranged for Blaze was incredibly easy, since she can apparently eat just about anything; she just has a preference for rabbits. So she was happily munching away at some eggs, another favorite of hers, that I boiled for her(her favorite way of cooking eggs), which is the one thing foxes eat, that ponies are also okay with eating. Sitting in front of me was a simple salad with some of those blue flowers, that I really liked, in it, that I was happily chewing on. On occasion, Blaze would nudge my hand and would receive a few pats in turn. Who knew that I’d like eating grass more than some crazed drug-fiend?  “Luna, if Blaze was a Kumiho, I wouldn’t even be alive. I met this bugger by going out on one of those odd jobs because Blaze apparently ate ponies. Not only does she not like eating anything sapient, and straight up hates violence if it’s i necessary, but she also doesn’t like eating pones because we smell bad. I could literally bop Blaze on the nose, and at worse, lose my privilege to having my hoof not in her mouth. Watch.” I did just that, and now Blaze was the proud owner of my hoof, wagging her tails as she held onto it. She also never actually bit into it, just gently holding it there. It was cute as fuck when she happily squealed when she reigned victorious over le hoof. “I used her as a bed last night; she’s really fluffy and is a great cuddle buddy.” “Just because you compliment my wondrous fluff, does not mean I will let go of your hoof, Ostri.” Blaze’s tails kept on wagging. “Hmm, this is quit the dilemma I’ve found myself in.” now, Blaze had to make a difficult choice: Eat her last egg and let go of my hoof, or keep my hoof, and not eat her egg. Her eyes darted between both, if she could, there’d be a single bead of sweat running down the side of her face. she soon sighed, her ears perked up, letting go of my hoof, and eating her last egg in one fell swoop. I raised the same hoof and started rubbing her shoulder. She then reclaimed that hoof. “See? Blaze is dangerous, but she chooses not to be dangerous. On Earth, there are similar creatures to Blaze, but they’re all mythical and not real. For starters, they’re called Kumiho, like what you called Blaze, and Kitsunes. Kumiho were Korean, while Kitsune were Japanese. I don’t know the finer details, but Kumiho were ‘corrupted’ by the Japanese during a war, and are now apparently evil and violent as fuck. Like they will seduce men, according to legend, and eat their liver before torturing them for fun[\i]. Kitsune are apparently just big, fluffy, friendly fox things that just want to be your friend.” “I fit that category!” Blaze raised both her paws in the air before falling on her back. Again, Blaze is stupidly cute. Then she wonders why I boop her nose. Luna just sighed as we continued with our antics. “Blaze, stop doing that. It’s cute as fuck, and it will make me develop heartburn because of how cute it is.” Blaze sat up and stuck her tongue out. “You were so mature-sounding yesterday, and now you’re like a big baby. You’re less irritating than a baby at least.” “Well, Ostri, you’re my human. I’m allowed to relax and display my more playful side to you, am I not?” “You are allowed to, and it’s cute, too cute. You’re not allowed to kill me by being cute, though.” Blaze sighed, closed her eyes, and spun my chair around so I was facing her. “What the heck-” Blaze’s eyes opened again, revealing her attempt at puppy eyes. Was it weird because her eyes were one color? Yes, was it still really cute? Yes. That tongue of hers was poking out just enough to seal the deal, so I just ended up hugging her. She made a happy, little fox laugh before leaning into the hug. My heart is now a puddle of blood and muscle. “I really must argue as to why keeping something that looks similar to a Kumiho is a bad idea,” Celestia said, taking a sip of tea. “Sure, she might seem friendly, but she could be deceiving you so she can eat you, Ostri. It’s a Kumiho’s nature to deceive and cause pain; Blaze might not even be a Kitsune like she says she is. And while I know you and I don’t get along, I do not want to hear you scream in pain as your ‘beloved, sweet, cute, little pet’ kills you in cold blood. Or find her eating you after killing you in your sleep.” “Oh yeah, Blaze already killed me,” I turned back and pointed at my beloved, sweet little pet that’s actually almost as big as Luna. “That face is enough to make Satan cry from the sugaryness in it.” I chuckled. “You are not making me regret keeping Blaze. And if she kills me, who cares? I’ll be dead so I can’t feel betrayed, I know you’d at least be happy because you no longer have to worry about me seducing a certain somebody for my own personal gain, and Blaze gets to eat my kidney. It’s a win-win-win.” “Ostri, Luna would care. I would care given enough time to actually grow accustomed to you. You’re not a bad pony, and you’re taking jobs from the Crown that nopony else would do, and often end up sending Starswirl out from his studies to solve. At a minimum, you’re pulling your weight and then some, Ostri. As much as I want you gone, I don’t want you killed.” “Sister, you’re just jealous that Ostri isn’t here on a one night stand.” Luna said from behind a tea cup. “However, I must agree with you. Ostri, why the buck did you think bringing something, that’s that big, and carnivorous into town, and then keep it in the palace was a good idea? Sure, you might find Blaze cute, but even I can admit that Blaze is slightly terrifying. And I’ve faced armies of griffins without flinching.” Blaze, at that point was resting her head on top of mine, her eyes slowly blinking as she struggled to stay awake. “Buck, I don’t even know if giving you your own room, alone, with your pet would be a good idea.” Surprisingly, Blaze didn’t make any retort. “Ostri, I don’t need to make a response to these accusations or their opinion of me. If they do not like me, resembling a member of a species I’m not a part of, so be it.”Blaze looked up at the Sisters, who were sitting on the far end, away from her. “If you’re so concerned with me eating your consort, Luna, I am willing to wear a muzzle. However, I don’t think my owner would want that, or let me put a muzzle on.” Blaze yawned. “Ostri, finish your salad already; I’m sleepy and I demand cuddles when we get to bed.” I shrugged and did just that. Then, without even giving me a second to say goodnight to Luna, I got picked up and dragged by the fox to our room. Of course, we ended our long day of playing constantly, in the same bed. No, we didn’t do anything nefarious; she’s my pet fox, you pervert. We just cuddled, and I got to sleep under a blanket of tails, which is always fun. The next day, I woke up to Blaze nudging me with her nose, summoning a water bottle, or as close to a water bottle as she can get, from my nightstand. I sipped on that, before laying my head back down to get some more shut-eye. “You know we’ll have to get up eventually and go do some odd jobs; the safest ones are always available earliest in the day.” I sighed. “I know, but you made one mistake.” “Oh?” the kitsune grinned. “What is that, my favorite little pony?” “You are very cuddly, soft and fluffy. I wanna sleep in because you’re a really good bed.” Yeah, we weren’t even using the bed. Blaze was happy with just laying on the floor, and she was big enough to be used as a perfectly pony-sized bed, with her own self heated blankets. “Aren’t you capable of fire manipulation? I swear, you are warmer than most mammals should be.” “I am capable of that, but I cannot breathe fire like a dragon does. Why do you ask?” “Yeah okay. That would explain why you’re so warm…” I sighed in contempt as I nuzzled into the floof. “Wake me up whenever; the best paying jobs are usually dangerous, so nobody takes them.” “Of course… so right now?” “You would be a monster if you did that.” Blaze sighed. “Then I shall refrain for now, Ostri. Until I want to walk” “Ostri!” The door slammed open. Celestia walked in. “I have a job for you and your fox!” I groaned as I slowly raised my head. “Oh shut up; I know you don’t have an actual job.” “I walked for miles-” “Don’t know what those are.” “-To get to where Blaze was, and then that same distance to get back to Everfree City.” “I carried him halfway back,” I didn’t know canines could make shit eating grins, but I do now. “Shush, you. You’re not my real mom!” I sighed and sat up. “So what do you need me to do, Celly?” “Well, it’s not exactly urgent, as you can guess, but your help would be nice. And since you’ll end up seeing it on the job board later and take it anyways. I need you to help me prank Luna.” “...What?” “Okay, it’s not a job at all, I just want to prank Luna. Luna is to hold a very important speech later today, and I want to put on a scary light show behind her while it happens.” “And then you wonder why ponies consider her a demon. Celestia, that is bumfuck stupid, and you shouldn’t do that. What’s the speech even for?” “The opening of an orphanage Luna would like to run; she loves foals, and this is her way of helping out less fortunate ones.” “And you want to make her look like a demon even more than she already does to your subjects,” Celestia nodded. “And you saw nothing wrong with that?” “Well… now that you say it, that does sound a little dumb… you’re right, I shouldn’t prank Luna in such a way.” “Good. you best not either. I know you say I have no right to talk, but I think you doing that would get your ponies yelling at Luna, and that will probably make her lock herself in her room and cry all day.” I got up out of bed. “And because I don’t think I’m going to go back to sleep, I’mma drag Blaze outside and go on a walk. See ya around, Celly.” Blaze picked me up by the scruff again, opened the window and jumped right on out, landing gracefully on all fours, before setting me down. “I was promised a walk, Ostri.” “Yeah, yeah,” the two of us just wandered around town, getting scared looks and stink eyes. At some random point, a foal walked up to us before its mother magicked it away from us. I love ponies, not racist at all, and huggable. Later into our walk, we got bored and just started playing fetch until the day was over. I was doing fine money-wise, and Blaze just wanted to play a game of fetch for some reason. She was really excited, and with all those tails wagging, along with the happy pants she was doing… Yeah no, I’m not saying no to that face. And she knows it. She swindled me out of a banana with that face of hers; she knows how to emotionally manipulate me and I’m proud.  About a week later, I was lounging outside of some sorta bar, sipping on what was just really sugary beer, Blaze was laying at my feet, until she saw some colt handing out newspapers. So like any good dog, she grabbed one with her ‘basic’ telekinesis and brought it over to me. The main article was about Luna’s orphanage, and how it was one of the best ideas the Crown had come up with to date. On top of that, it helped ‘humanize’ my friend, so now ponies didn’t hate her as much. Of course, all the credit for the idea went to Celestia, despite Celestia stating it was Luna’s idea to the press, so that’s really fun.  “Why are you ponies all so stupid?” “How did you read this article without looking at it?” “I can read your mind, and I read it processing what you read. Why do ponies constantly make out Luna to be some sort of demon incapable of anything good, when she is literally hosting children that do not have parents? The orphanage has her sister’s name on it, Luna is the one that funded it, and yet Celestia is the one that gets all the credit?” Blaze snorted. “It’s like you ponies want that mare to do something awful to herself or the rest of your ponies. While Luna doesn’t seem to like me, for somewhat decent reasons, she is a good person from what I can tell.” “You’re telling me that. First two nights I spent in Equestria? Under her wing, because she considered me a friend off the bat, and she now houses me because of that. The fact that, according to this article, there were no orphanages in town until Luna opened one, says a lot though…” “You might be the only sane pony, and you aren’t even a pony in the head. How does Luna, who is tied to the moon in some way, get classified as a demon?” “...Let’s go see Luna, Blaze. Chances are, she’s seen this, and definitely isn’t happy about it.” Blaze nodded, threw me on her back, and made a mad dash through town. We kinda ignored the fact that ponies were shouting at us on the way; they were mostly rich assholes who yelled about their tea time being interrupted. Before I knew it, we were in the castle running to Luna’s room. I knocked a couple times. “Luna? Are you there?” “What do you want, Ostri…” Luna’s voice lacked any of the cadence it usually had. “Luna, open the door. You don’t  sound good.” “Ostri, you do not bucking get it!” “Luna, I saw the article. Please just let me in.” “So you can call me a demon too!?” Her voice was getting to ‘hearing damage’ levels of loud. “I tried, I try to do some good in the world, and the world just assumes Celestia, bucking Celestia, is just being a good pony and naming something good after her sister! All that hard work, all of the time I took to plan it out, just gone… The only good thing is that the less fortunate foals won’t be starving in the streets.” Luna sounded so dead, that that slight bit of emotion towards the end shocked me.  “Luna, just let me in. You’re clearly hurting, so don’t suffer alone. Allow me to help you take the pain.” The door opened and I walked in, Blaze followed suit. “You know, I have an idea or that might help out, but I dunno how helpful they would be…” I climbed up on Luna’s bed, where she was under the covers. “Blaze, initiate emotional support fox,” before Luna could even blink, she was now being cuddled by Blaze. The fox in question had the Princess wrapped up in her tails, constantly grooming Luna. A smile cracked on Luna’s face. “Blaze, please stop!” Luna squirmed slightly. “That is ticklish! Stop it!” Blaze did as asked. “Okay… maybe you aren’t so bad; a Kumiho would’ve eaten me by now in my state of strife.” Luna nuzzled into the emotional support fox. “This is quite lovely.” “Thank you! I spend a lot of time grooming myself in the morning,” Blaze glared at me. “Because somepony keeps drooling into my coat! Using me as a pillow is a privilege that somepony doesn’t seem to get.” “If I’m abusing that privilege, why don’t you stop me from using you as a pillow/?” “Because I love you.” Oh. “Not romantically, you imbecile.” “Bro, I can’t even spell that word. I’m just surprised that you actually love me.” I hopped up on the bed and nuzzled Luna. “So, are you at least feeling better, now?” Luna nodded. “Good. I have an idea or two that may help your image, or at the very least just make you feel better.” Luna’s ears perked. “One of the ideas is that you go out during the day and just be a normal pony. No crown, no regalia, just Luna. Another, is if you go on a date with somebody you love, or if Celestia is okay with it, you two just act like sisters in public. Either or, just show that you are just some lady who happens to rule a kingdom. The last is just plucking a kid out of your new orphanage and adopting them.” “Those are some ideas… I particularly like the last two ideas. I would like to care for a foal, and I would like to go on a date with somepony. For now though…” Luna snuggled deeper into Blaze’s fur. “This is very lovely.” “You know, it surprises me that Kumihos are apparently more common than Kitsunes in this world.” Luna’s eyes shot open, now filled with a child-like wonder. “Did I say something wrong?” “No. You’ve spoken of what humans are like, but never what your world is like. It has Kitsunes and Kumihos as well, but they are only the stuff of legend. Would you care to elaborate on that more?” “Okay… so there are two countries that are practically neighbors. With humans, dunno how it works with you ponies, but two nations being neighbors, often leads to a lot of cultural differences and similarities. The legend of a nine-tailed fox is one of those legends that Japan and Korea, two countries in my world, three if you wanna go by technicalities, where Kitsunes and Kumihos originate respectively. While in Equestria, where Kumihos are so common that you and Celestia heard of them, despite them living very, very far east, on Earth, the Kitsune was more wide-spread. Again, they weren’t real, but the legend of them was more wide-spread. Like any fictional creatures that were based on a nine-tailed, shape-shifting fox were called Kitsunes for the most part.” “You humans are dumb. Kitsunes are wholly incapable of shapeshifting. Kumiho can do that, despite the imperfections that derive from said shapeshifting, their other abilities cover it. Hence why their hunting of sapient beings is so effective… but still, humans are stupid.” “You tell me. We let Nickelback make music.” “What… is Nickleback?” Blaze opened her mouth and the instrumental to Photograph started playing. I blinked, but I suppose speak-singing Photograph is just gonna be something I do today. Luna shut Blaze’s mouth after the first minute. “Golly, that’s what you humans listen to? It sounds so basically structured and lazily lyricized. And your performance doesn’t sell it much either.” “The thing is, it’s catchy, and that’s all it has going for it. I personally prefer something more tasteful-” Blaze’s mouth opened again and some orchestral music started playing from it. “How the fuck are you doing that?” “Magic.” “Fair enough. Wait, if you can do that, how come you can’t just speak english?” “Again, the concept of language is lost to me.” “But you know music theory.” “...Yes?” “How the fresh fuck-” “Listen, I liked partaking in the enjoyment of art, and even learning music theory took me several years longer than anything with sapience should.” “You confuse me.” “Shut up, bitch.” “Oi, the only bitch I see is you.” Blaze shot up, making Luna roll over with an ‘oof’. “Oh, you wanna go?” Blaze then pinned me down with magic. “I will throw paws at you, Ostri. I will kick your ass so hard that you won’t be able to sit for a week!” Blaze loomed over me, ready to kick my ass without any feet, before she laid down and started licking me. Luna was just sitting on the floor wide-eyed. “Sorry about that Luna, this is just how me and my owner speak to each other; it’s quite fun.” “I genuinely thought you were about to kill each other.” Luna got to her hooves. “I am feeling better though, thank you, Ostri, Blaze. However,” I was lifted in a blue aura and removed from Blaze’s reach.  “It is still my turn to cuddle with the emotional support fox.” “But she’s my fox!” “And now she’s mine.” Blaze raised a paw. “Do I get a say-” “No!” We both turned to each other. “You know, we could both cuddle her at the same time.” Luna and I’s faces grew into something malicious, and they ended in pure bliss as we shared a very confused Blaze. Then I heard both my fox and favorite princess snicker. The next thing I know, I was dead. Nah, Blazed laid on top of me, and Luna laid on top of her. It’s warm and cozy, but I’m dead now. Shit, that sucks.