Fading Sanity

by MorganaTheNotCat


Unđť•—amiliarity.

It's morning again.

I lifted myself up the bed, the Sun was shining on my face. I brought my hooves to my face and rubbed my eyes, I hated the way the sunlight peered through the window. Guess I forgot to close the curtains before going to bed. My hooves reach for my glasses as I let out a yawn, I couldn't find them on the drawer to my left. I did find them on the drawer to my right though, which was strange. I usually leave it at the left side because it's easier to reach in the morning. But being honest, as long as I could get it by the morning, it didn't really matter.

Once again, I hopped off. The floorboards creaked under my weight. I wonder if there's some day where I'll hop off the bed only to fall through the floor. Walking around my bed, I made my way to the closet, opening the double door. My clothes all laid out orderly, but I couldn't find my favorite Sweater. The Black turtleneck I loved so much. Figuring it was probably downstairs, I sighed and closed the doors making my way over to the doorway leading into the stairway.

Going down the stairs, I made my way over to my work desk. As expected. My sweater was hung on a coat-hanger by the side of the entrance. I don't remember having a coat hanger though. Even then, why would I hang up a sweater in there? Maybe I was just too tired to care. I stepped closer and lifted it off the hook with my magic, only to wear the cozy turtleneck over my body. The fabric hugged my coat, it was somehow warm. As if it had been worn recently.

I looked over at my work desk, taking a second to appreciate the chaotically organized mess. Books stacked on top of each-other, pieces of parchment rolled and tucked into one or two shelves. I made sure to keep notes for whenever necessary. But before I start, breakfast. I turned around and made my way to the kitchen. Once again, the same sight.

The dining table was full of books, pots, pans, teacups, plates, anything that I didn't care enough to clean up that had piled. I made my way to the cupboards, maybe I still had some milk to drink. And just as I expected, I could see a full carton as I opened a cupboard. This one didn't smell bad either. And unlike the one from yesterday, it was a full carton. I checked another cupboard, but this time, I didn't have any oatmeal left. There were some bananas on a fruit bowl at the very middle of the dining table though, hidden away between the piles of books. Was that always there?

Sure. Whatever. I drank the milk straight out of the carton and grabbed a banana or two for me to eat as I made my way back to my work station, where I'll study away for hours on end. Without hesitation, I sat down and opened the book before me. But as I kept on reading through the pages, I realized that there was something odd about this book. The pages felt oddly familiar... Have I read this before? I took a look at the cover for a second and saw it. "The Healing and Magical Properties of Plants and Flowers"

I thought I was seeing double for a second, so I had to clean my glasses with the sleeve of my sweater. Yet, the text didn't change at all. How's this here? I returned the book yesterday. Maybe I returned the wrong book? I didn't want to have to pay fines for being tardy. Well in one way or another, all solutions to my problem went down the same route. I had to go back to the library. I hate leaving my house.


"Good to see you again, Moondancer!" The receptionist mare replied with a smile and a nod. I was not so cheerful.

"Yeah. Hi. I want to ask something." Reluctantly, I stepped closer to the reception desk. I had the same satchel from yesterday. "I came here yesterday, right?"

"Of course you did sweetie! You always come by Mondays to drop off borrowed books. Exactly at 3 PM. I make sure to keep the dates marked down!" She proudly displayed a calendar marked with delivery dates.

"Yeah yeah, listen, what book did I return yesterday?"

"Why the one you borrowed last week. The Healing and Magical Properties of Plants and Flowers." What? No, I couldn't have.

"Can you- Double check?" I have the book right here with me. It even has the library's stamp on the first page, the same one they use to identify that this book came from the Canterlot library.

"But you-" She seemed confused.

"Just do it!" I commanded, and once I realized I was being maybe a bit too loud, I stepped back. "Please."

She was reluctant, but nodded in silent agreement as she reached for something under the table. I was worried I might have returned the wrong book. Maybe I was tired and just couldn't remember it, maybe my glasses were dirty and I didn't read the cover properly. There were numerous reasons. Yet when she placed the book on the table, I felt my heart skip a beat. The Healing and Magical Properties of Plants and Flowers. That is what was written on the cover.

But how?! I was already panting by the time I reached into my bag, grabbing the book that was inside. What book?

It was empty. I was sure I had put something inside, I was sure of it too. I double, triple, quadruple checked yet- I couldn't find it.

"No- There's- No something's wrong here." I had that same exact book on my bag, but now it's empty.

"Dear, are you alright?" I'm not. I wasn't only confused, I was taken back. How could something like this happen? What kind of explanation could explain this series of events?

"Nothing, I'm- fine. I think. Bye." Despite turning around to leave, I couldn't help but taking a look back at the desk as I made my way to the exit, to be sure for a third time that the book was the right one. It was.


Once I was inside, I tried to make sense of everything. I certainly saw the cover, and I certainly saw that the cover was correct. I saw it, I'm sure of it. I know that I had returned the book yesterday, and I'm even more certain that I saw it before my very eyes today. Something was wrong, a book doesn't just change like that. And then, what's with my bag? How could I have not noticed that the heavy book that weighed me down was gone? What if the bag had a hole, and it fell on the street? I didn't see anything when I was coming home, and given I keep my head low even while walking through crowds, there's no way I could've missed it. I also take the same path to and from the library, if it had fallen on the street, I would've certainly seen it on my way back.

There has to be an explanation to all of this. What if somepony stole the book while I wasn't looking? It would be difficult, but not impossible. Even then, what if my mind was just playing tricks on me? Why and how would that happen?

I paced around my room. I couldn't stand still. There had to have a logical explanation to everything. I searched my bag a third time, and even a fourth time. Nothing. But I couldn't let this rest, I wouldn't be content with sweeping what just happened under the rug and forgetting about it. Trying to think of possible solutions, I made my way around the different rooms. The kitchen was the first.

Well the book I returned yesterday was the book I saw on my table earlier today, and by the time I went to return it today, it had suddenly vanished. There is no way the book I saw on my table was the same one from the library. But it had the library's stamp. How would it not be the same book? I walked in circles around the dining table until I realized something. I didn't have a fruit bowl.

I have lived in this house for well over half a decade now. I never had a fruit bowl. Much less did I re-stock it with food. The bananas I ate earlier today looked fresh. Then, I made my way to my work station by the door. The clock. It wasn't hanging by the window next to the desk, it was hanging to the side of the door, I remember it now. I check that same spot everyday. And the coat-hanger. I never had that either. Did someone break into my home? But even then, who would break in only to place new items inside, or move them around? Was that the reason why my glasses were at the wrong side of the bed earlier this morning? Is... There someone living with me?

No. That's impossible. I don't have a basement or an attic. They'd have to be literally living inside the walls of my home if they were to live with me. Or my closet. But even the closet is not that deep, and is full of junk like boxes full of files and personal records, no one person could live there. Wait... That's it!

A moment of clarity struck me as I rushed upstairs, making my way to the closet. I always keep a record of the books I borrow in here, and even the ones I return. I opened the closet and it was just as inviting as ever with its cobwebs, dust, and moss. I had to shift around a few things to be able to reach the box with the records, but sure enough, there it was. I quickly looked through them, page after page.

Seems I had borrowed the book two weeks prior. And returned it... Yesterday.

I almost felt a chill run down my spine once I saw that. It's impossible. Despite my logical thinking, there was no logical solution. If there is no logical solution, then the question becomes... Is there magic involved? Is there something out of my control, some unseen force acting upon me that is making all this happen? And even more-so, is there someone with me? I had to keep an even closer eye on everything around me, all the while searching for answers. Making my way back downstairs to my work-station, I looked behind it at the shelf of books I kept. Surely there would be one book in here that discussed some issues I'm having. I keep notes. I'm organized, despite what it may seem. If I want a specific book on a specific topic, I'll look for the parchment where I wrote down the notes for it.

On my work table there were quite a few rolls of parchment, most of which were dusty and old by this point. But I knew they'd come in use, which is why I kept them all this time. I had to look through 5 or 6 of them before I found one which depicted magic and the way it interacts with the world around us. Soon, I had organized a small list of books. They'd surely have what I was looking for. By the time I started, it was still very early in the day. 2 PM to be exact. Let's see if I can find anything of note in here.


8 Hours. Of course, I enjoyed reading but 8 hours is a bit too much even for me. I had read every single book I had, I combed through every page thrice, making notes of anything I found that could help me explain the strange happenings, and I did find a few worthwhile things. Nothing close to a definitive answer, but a theory instead. It was better than nothing.

First theory. The two events are linked together somehow. The book and the shifting of furniture and items are connected through some means, means which I can't explain. Spit balling ideas, magic is an obvious one. Throughout pony history, magic has been a double edged blade. It has been used for the good of Equestria, with the earth ponies caring for the soil and plants, the pegasi dominating the skies and helping the water cycle, and the Unicorns helping with raising and lowering the sun. That was, before Celestia and Luna. But it has also been used by forces of evil. Discord with his chaos magic, Tirek with his magic stealing abilities.

It is possible, albeit unlikely, that for some reason, somepony imbued my furniture with magic. Shape shifting or kinesis abilities could explain how and why things have been moving around, and why I thought I had grabbed the book when I hadn't. But then, why would one go through all that? To play a prank on me? There is a clear lack of motive, and I can't figure it out. Did somepony hate me and wanted to get revenge? I barely interact with anypony though, so I don't know who would do such a thing.

Second theory. My house is the place of origin for the occurrences. This would mean that something within the building is causing it to behave like this. I regularly conduct magical experiments, as well as potion mixing. It would be more probable that some kind of magic spell gone awry created issues within the structure. This is about the time I'd appreciate that book on the effect magic has on structures, but for some reason a pony has to waste weeks reading a single book. The magic somehow seeping out and somehow interacting with the book could explain it all, it is not uncommon for magic to 'Seep' and 'Creep' into places it's not supposed to.

If this is the case, then what magical experiments have I performed recently that could've caused this shift? What changes in the environment (Exterior or interior) could cause it to suddenly shift and

Third theory. The two events are linked, and there is somepony living in my house with me. I don't know what could explain why a pony would be living in here with me, especially considering I have lived here for a long while. I would've noticed if there was somepony. Yet, I can't seem to explain this series of events. Perhaps this pony comes out of the shadows to lurk in my home while I'm asleep, eating my food, reading my books, and whatever else. This pony could've, somehow, acquired back the copy of the same book I returned and brought it back to read it themselves, and somehow, that book had disappeared while on my walk to the library. This is admittedly a weak theory, but it's all I have.

But then, who and why would do such a thing? Especially if they've lived with me for a while, they must be hiding somewhere. I previously called them out for having to literally live inside my walls, but what if that isn't far from the truth? What if one of the rooms has a secret mechanism, a door or something that reveals a hidden passageway to an unknown chamber? I've lived here for years, but I barely go anywhere aside from my work desk, the kitchen, and the bedroom.

Fourth Theory. I am the chain connecting these events. Perhaps, I am seeing things. This series of events could be chalked up to my delusions. I don't have anything to disprove this theory, but I don't have anything to prove either. It is possible albeit unlikely — Again — that this is nothing but my imagination playing tricks on me. I've lived alone for too long, and despite feeling perfectly fine physically, it could've taken a toll on my mental health. I've read that there are ponies who go insane if they stop talking to others. I could never. My books are were I find the most joy and happiness, to suggest something like this is whats causing all this is just absurd. But once again, come the questions.

I am clearly not seeing things. These things aren't just visual, they are perceptively physical. As in, I can reach out and touch the objects. I know that the coat hanger is in a physical space because my jacket is hung up on it. It is perceptively real and tangible. But it could be my mind making me see things. What if instead of a coat hanger, it's actually a stack of books and my brain just sees it as something else? I can't discard the possibility.

Gah... I need some time to think. I can't stand staying awake for a second longer. It was already dark, and the interior had no natural light at all. I had been used to staying up late at night studying but for some reason tonight felt different. The dusty darkness I so warmly enjoyed now felt eerie. It felt like somepony could be lurking within the shadows. I had to do quick looks behind my back every so often. It felt like I was being watched.

The candle burned brightly, lighting up a small portion of the desk. I left my papers on the table and decided it was about time I head to bed. I floated the candle on the plate, the candle was completely new, almost unburnt. I knew I could take my time heading back to bed. As I pushed my seat back, it felt creepy. To be surrounded by all the darkness. Each creek of the floorboards, or whistle of the wind sent shivers down my spine as I made my way up the stairs. It didn't feel welcoming anymore.

Reaching my bed, I placed the candle by the drawer and took of my sweater, hanging it inside the closet. I closed the curtains to avoid the same mistake from earlier this morning (A barrage of light as soon as I woke up) and crawled into bed. Taking my glasses off, placing them by my left side, and blowing the candle out before closing my eyes.