30 days after Zipp’s breakdown
Freedom.
It is something that everypony desires. The exact definition of freedom differs from pony to pony. For Zipp, nothing says freedom like flying high in the sky, unrestricted by the troubles on the ground. And for nearly a month, she had been without that freedom due to her wings being clipped. But now, as the feathers started to grow back, Zipp began to think about something important.
What was she going to do when she regained that freedom?
Zipp was currently at a wing physician's office, getting her wings examined. More specifically her flight feathers and if she was ready to use them for flight again. Letting somepony else, especially a stranger, touch her wings made Zipp uncomfortable, but she knew that the easier she complied the sooner she would be out of there. After a few minutes of measurements, the physician gave their diagnosis. "Well, Princess Zipp, it seems that your flight feathers have fully recovered. I'd say you should be back in the air by first thing tomorrow."
“That’s……..great news.” Zipp said as she left the room.
Her friends were all waiting in the lobby, all anxious to know if this was the day or not. When they saw the white pegasus enter, they immediately got up from their seats and approached her. “Well? Don’t keep us waiting, Sis. What’d they say?” Pipp eagerly asked.
Zipp gave her a soft smile. “I should be flying by tomorrow.” She told her sister and friends.
This made her friends cheer in excitement. “Oh, Zipp! I’m so happy for you!” Sunny said enthusiastically. “You’ll finally be flying again!”
“This calls for a celebration!” Izzy proclaimed. “Of course, a party would take way too long to plan out before tomorrow, and I don’t have the skills to conjure one up that fast.” She started rambling before Zipp stopped her.
“I don’t think that’ll be necessary, Izzy.” The pegasus told her unicorn friend. “It’s just going to be me flying again.”
“Something that you might’ve never been able to do again if you hadn’t been working so hard in healing yourself.” Hitch pointed out as the group started for the door. “So I’d say there’s still something to celebrate, even if it’s something small with just the six of us.”
“Hitch is right.” Pipp agreed as they exited the building. “Look at how far you’ve come, Sis. It feels like just yesterday when you were afraid of yourself. Now you’ll once again be back in the sky, soaring like never before.” The pink pegasus said as she did some small tricks of her own for emphasis.
“Yeah. That will be nice.” Zipp said with a small smile as she looked up at the sky.
The sky. The big, blue, endless sky. Up there she’d have complete freedom to do whatever she wanted. She could do loops, nose dives, go as fast as she could. The possibilities were endless.
“The Queen of the Skies will finally reclaim her throne!” Izzy exclaimed, snapping Zipp out of her thoughts.
“Queen of the Skies?” She repeated what Izzy said in confusion.
“Yeah. Queen of the Skies. I figured since you’re the best flier in Equestria, that could be a nickname of yours.” Izzy explained.
“I like it.” Pipp said. “Gives off a sense of regality that mimics your flying style. Powerful, yet majestic.”
“And if all your wins in the Pegasus Mare-A-Thon are anything to go by, I’d say calling you Equestria’s best flier wouldn’t be too much of a stretch.” Hitch said as Sparky cooed in agreement.
“Equestria’s best flier.” Zipp thought as she looked up at the sky again. Her friends were right. All her years of training in her secret hideaway and the mountains gave her a huge advantage when flight was restored to the pegasi. Such a large lead that it had to be her to start up a system that would teach the others how to fly properly. It was her that was teaching Sunny how to fly in her alicorn form above all other pegasi.
Queen of the Skies. That was an appropriate name for her. But Zipp knew she could be more than that. She soon would be Queen of Zephyr Heights. And if she married Hitch, possibly also Queen of Maretime Bay. The question was how to ensure Bridlewood would follow suit.
Zipp came to a sudden stop as she realized what she was thinking. She was doing it again. Thinking about taking over Equestria. This made her freak out as her eyes darted around frantically, as if searching for someone that was planning on ambushing her. And when she looked in a window, she found them as she didn’t see her own reflection, She saw HER. The corrupted side of herself from before, looking at her with an evil smile, seemingly pleased at the direction the princess’ thoughts were taking her.
“No! No! No! No!” Zipp internally pleaded as she shook her head, hoping she was seeing things wrong. When she opened her eyes, her reflection matched her own face again. Breathing a quick sigh of relief, the pegasus quickly rejoined her friends before they noticed she was lagging behind. She needed them with her now more than ever to keep such thoughts away.
“So, Zipp?” Sunny began to ask, getting Zipp’s full, and welcome, attention. “What do you say you and I have another sky race tomorrow? You know, a little warm up that’ll help get you back into the swing of things more quickly.” She suggested.
That was not the kind of thing Zipp wanted to be thinking about right now. Still, it would be rude to not give her some sort of reply, so with a forced smile, though not obviously forced, she answered. “Sure. Sounds like fun.”
“Eeeeee!” Pipp squealed in excitement. “Oh, I’m so going to be live streaming that! The Zippsters will be thrilled!”
“Pipp.” Zipp groaned. “I thought I told you not to make Zippsters a thing!” She scolded her little sister.
“I didn’t!” Pipp retorted, sounding like a young filly getting scolded for something they did repeatedly. “It’s just that ponies have been asking about you ever since they noticed your wings were clipped.”
This got Zipp alarmed as she didn’t want a bunch of strangers knowing about her recent troubles. “And what did you tell them?” She asked, afraid of the answer.
“Relax. All I told them was that you were in a flying accident and that your feathers would grow back soon.” Pipp assured her sister. “If I didn’t tell Mom, I certainly wouldn’t tell the Pippsqueaks anything without your approval.”
Zipp smiled genuinely this time. “Thanks, Sis.” She said before looking up at the sky again.
Believing he knew what she was thinking, Hitch moved over to Zipp and gently nuzzled her. “Don’t worry, honey. It’ll be tomorrow before you know it.”
“It will, won’t it?” Zipp replied, once again now forcing her smile to stay up.
As night fell and ponies began to fall asleep, Zipp found herself lying awake in her bed. Despite her best efforts, she just couldn’t sleep. She kept looking at her phone’s clock, seeing the time get closer and closer to the next morning. And the more she did that, the less tired she got.
It may have only been for a few seconds, but the sudden return of her corrupted thoughts scared the pegasus mare. Actually, saying it was for a few seconds was a lie. This has been bothering her for the past week now. The whole reason she clipped her feathers in the first place was because her magic came from her wings, her talent in flying. Why else did she have a lightning bolt as part of her Cutie Mark if not for skills of flight like nopony else. Without the ability to fly, she had no magic. She didn’t have unicorn levitation or earth pony plant powers. She was powerless to start anything, and smart enough to know that.
But now with those powers returning, so did the unwelcome imagery that came any time she tried to sleep or was alone. She would see herself flying high over the other ponies, even the pegasi, only to swoop down and take them out one by one. Her mother’s royal guards would try and stop her, to outmaneuver her, but they were not even worth calling an attempt at a challenge. She sent them all falling and crashing like rocks onto the hard ground.
Then when her friends tried to stop her, that was when she wished she had woken up sooner. Because every time they tried to stop her, they failed. She was too fast for Izzy to focus her magic and hold her in place, or for Pipp to catch her, or for Hitch to restrain her, or even for Sunny to blast her with alicorn magic. And with her equipped with the weapons from the nightmare that made her almost run away again, she always got a front row seat as she watched herself put down her friends for good, no matter how many times she internally screamed and begged herself to wake up, only for the nightmare to silence her until the scene was finished.
Her friends didn’t notice her struggles. She had gotten better at hiding her problems from them. They already were doing so much for her. And seeing how happy they were when she told them she would be flying again, she didn’t want to let them all down by telling them that she was against the idea.
So far they didn’t know anything. And as long as she kept quiet……
Zipp shook her head as the possible scheme forming died out. “Maybe some water will help me sleep.” She told herself as she got out of bed and walked down to the kitchen to get a drink.
She poured herself a glass and was about to take a sip when she looked at her reflection. There SHE was again, looking directly at her, smiling. Zipp panicked and dropped her glass on the floor, shattering it and spilling water everywhere. But she was less worried about the mess and more about the fact that reflected in every droplet, every piece of glass, was her evil self looking directly at her. "No! No! No! No!" Zipp pleaded aloud and prayed that she had fallen asleep and that this was all another nightmare.
She continuously kept on kicking herself, but her location didn't change. This was all real. To make matters worse, when she looked out the kitchen window, SHE was now there too. "NOO!" Zipp shouted as she now went into full panic mode.
Everywhere she looked, her corrupted self was there, not just in reflections anymore. She was looking down at her from the stairwell, from outside, through the tv, every corner she stood there, now laughing at no doubt the pathetic show being put on in front of her. Zipp looked anywhere for a possible escape. But with her evil self outside, running away wasn't an option this time. The only place that she didn't seem to see her was near the bathroom door.
Seeing her sanctuary, Zipp quickly bolted for the bathroom and slammed the door shut. Believing she had finally found safety and peace, she allowed herself to rest against the door and slump to the floor in slight relief. In this moment of silence, Zipp took the moment to repeat the mantras Sunny taught her for situations like this. "I am stronger than you. I am not the same pony as you. I am above you. I am above you."
"Oh, you will soon be finding yourself above everypony else, all right." Another voice told the white pegasus.
Zipp immediately shot up from her sitting position and searched the dark room frantically. "Who's there?!" She demanded out of them, trying and failing to sound brave. The pegasus went for the light switch and turned on the lights in the room. And was greeted with her evil self laughing at her in the mirror. "NO! NO! NOO!" Zipp pleaded as closed her eyes and covered her ears while she began reciting the mantras again. "I'm stronger than you! I'm not the same pony as you! I'm not going to be like you!"
"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Her mirror self laughed mockingly. "Oh, stop deluding yourself!" Her evil laughs and words passed easily through Zipp's attempts to block them out. "With your wings having returned, it's time to accept your destiny as Queen! There's no other choice!"
Zipp opened her eyes and took in what what her evil self said. "My wings." She looked at them and remembered the whole reason she got rid of their ability in the first place. She was so vulnerable without her wings that if her friends hadn't found her she would've died in that cave.
She knew what she had to do. Jumping to the nearest drawer, she opened it and searched frantically before pulling out a pair of scissors. With them in hoof, she looked up defiantly at her mirror self. "You say I have no choice. Well, I do have a choice. And it's this!" She yelled as she aimed the scissors at her feathers.
Despite the current situation, all the evil Zipp did was laugh. "Ha! Foolish pony! All that will do is delay the inevitable! Your feathers will grow back. And when they do..."
"Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP!" Zipp screamed at herself. "I'll do this as many times as I have to! I'll even cut off the wings themselves! Whatever it takes to never become you!" She said as she prepared to snip the scissors down. "I'm stronger than you! I'm above you! I'LL NEVER BE YOU!!!"
"ZIPP!!!" The door swung open and Zipp froze in place. Slowly turning her head, she saw Pipp standing in the entryway with a horrified look on her face.
“Stay back!” Zipp warned her sister, still holding the scissors next to her feathers.
Pipp took her sister’s warning seriously, but still attempted to reason with her. “Zipp.”
“I mean it!” Zipp cautioned as she shakily held the scissors. “One step and they come off!”
“Zipp, put the scissors down and let’s talk.” Pipp gently requested as she looked like she was about to take a step forward.
“I’m serious, Pipp!” Zipp was starting to cry now. “I’ll do it!”
“Zipp…..please…..tell me what’s wrong.” Pipp pleaded softly.
Zipp’s composure lost the fight and she dropped the scissors before crying into her hooves. Pipp took the opportunity and was immediately at her sister’s side, pulling her into a massive hug. “Ssssh.” The younger sister cooed. “It’s all right, Zipp. I’m here now.”
“I’m so messed up!” Zipp choked out. “I keep hearing her…..me…..telling myself to……embrace it…..I tried to shut her up……..” She sniffled before burying her face into Pipp’s mane and sobbed. “I’m so patheti-hi-hi-hi-hic!”
“Ssssh.” Pipp comforted her sister, making sure Zipp knew that she wasn’t alone anymore.
Sunny and Izzy stood at the doorway. They, along with Pipp, were woken up by all the commotion Zipp was causing and followed her downstairs to make sure the white pegasus was safe and unharmed. What they were seeing broke their hearts and they didn’t hesitate to join Pipp in comforting their friend.
Zipp felt them join in the embrace and said through her tears. “I’m sorry I let you all down….I know you all wanted me to be flying again…….but I can’t!!!!” She choked out.
Her friends said nothing and just continued comforting her. They all stayed that until Zipp eventually cried herself to sleep. Once they were sure the older pegasus sister was deeply asleep, they gently put her on Pipp’s back and helped the younger sister carry her back to the bedroom.
On the way back upstairs, Izzy spoke up. “This is all my fault.” She said sadly. “If I hadn’t given her that ‘Queen of the Skies’ nickname she wouldn’t have-“
“No, Izzy. I’m the one that was pushing her to fly again.” Pipp assured her friend.
“We all played a part in pushing Zipp back into the sky without thinking she might’ve not been ready for it.” Sunny told them both. “What we need to do now is help her get that confidence she had when flying back.”
“How?” Pipp asked as they reached the bedroom and placed Zipp into her bed before her sister joined her, allowing herself to be nuzzled into like a body pillow. “I’m not sure therapy and inspiring words will be enough this time.”
“I think I might have one idea that could work.” Izzy said before telling Sunny and Pipp her plan. “What’d you think?” She asked afterwards.
“It’s risky. Zipp might not go along with it. It might even scare her.” Pipp warned.
“But it is her best chance.” Sunny said, to which Pipp nodded in agreement.
“I’ll stay here with Zipp. You two start first thing in the morning.” Pipp told her friends before she remembered something else. “Oh! Make sure to tell Hitch before that. I’ll need him and Sparky with me to comfort Zipp when she wakes up.”
“You got it, Pipperoni.” Izzy said before all three mares touched hooves.
“For Zipp.” Pipp said.
“For Zipp.” Sunny and Izzy soon followed.
It was late morning when Zipp finally woke up. When she did, the first thing she noticed was that she was holding something, or somepony. After yawning, she opened her eyes and saw Pipp’s gentle smile greeting her. “Morning, Zipp.” She said to her big sister.
“Pipp?” Zipp asked before she felt a hoof on her shoulder. Looking up, she saw Hitch smiling down at her. “Hitch?”
“Morning, Zipp.” Hitch greeted his marefriend before Sparky jumped off his father’s back and went and hugged his mother.
“Hehe. Morning to you too, kiddo.” Zipp greeted the baby dragon with a small laugh before she lifted her head up to look at both her sister and coltfriend. “What’s going on?”
Pipp and Hitch shared an unsure look with each other. They seemed to be silently debating something before Pipp was the one to ask. “Zipp, do you remember last night?”
“Last night?” Zipp asked. “What happened last-“ She paused as the memories came back to her like a flash flood. When the flashback finished, she looked down in shame. “I’m sorry, you two.” She apologized.
“Oh, Zipp.” Pipp said sadly as she hugged her sister.
“Zipp.” Hitch said softly as he gently rubbed her wings to calm her down. “How long has this fear been bothering you?” He asked her. “I have a feeling it didn’t all just start yesterday.”
Zipp didn’t say anything for a while, she just nodded to confirm Hitch’s guess was right, before she found the courage to speak up. “I’d say it’s been bothering me for over a week now.” She confessed.
Pipp was surprised to hear this. So was Hitch, even if he somewhat expected it. “And why didn’t you tell us anything?” Pipp asked.
Zipp looked down at Sparky in her hooves, the dragon’s innocent eyes giving her some comfort before she continued. “You all just seemed so excited for me to be flying again. I didn’t want to let you all down by saying I’d rather remain grounded. Without my wings, I can’t do any magic. And it seemed that was keeping the dark thoughts away. But once the feathers started to grow back, so did they.” The white pegasus sniffled as she seemed like she was about to cry again. “I tried to fight back, to tell myself I was stronger than this. But it seems I was wrong and I just let you all down anyway.”
“Zipp.” Pipp said softly as she tightened her hug and Hitch joined in. “You didn’t let us down at all. You don’t have to feel sorry for anything. If anyone should apologize, it’s us.” She said as she looked down guiltily.
“Huh?” Zipp said in confusion.
“We were so excited about you flying again, we didn’t think to ask you about what you wanted.” Hitch explained, also looking guilty. “We essentially put you in the spotlight without any preparation, and made you think you didn’t have a choice to say no.”
“Pipp. Hitch.” Zipp said softly in response to their apologies.
“But you should know that you never have to hide these things from us, Zipp.” Hitch assured her. “We’ve already gone through so much together. If you feel something is troubling you, don’t be afraid to tell us.”
“We won’t think any less of you for it.” Pipp chimed in. “You’re still the coolest big sister in the world to me. And I mean that.”
“You guys.” Zipp smiled at their words.
They all stayed like that for a while until Pipp spoke up. “Listen, there’s something in the living room that Sunny and Izzy have been working on for you. You don’t have to accept it, but we still think you should at least see and possibly try it out.”
“What is it?” Zipp asked as they got out of her bed.
“It’s a surprise.” Pipp told her as she led the way downstairs, with Zipp, Hitch, and Sparky following close behind.
When they reached the living room, they were greeted by Sunny and Izzy running over to them. “Zipp!” Sunny greeted her friend happily.
“How’re you feeling?” Izzy asked.
“Better than I was last night.” Zipp told them with a small smile, attempting to make a joke.
Despite this, the two mares still looked rather guilty. “Zipp, I’m sorry for making you think you had to fly right now.” Sunny apologized.
“And I’m sorry for giving you that nickname. I should’ve remembered being a queen is what made you get upset in the first place.” Izzy also apologized.
“It’s fine.” Zipp assured her friends as she hugged them both. “I should’ve been more open about how I was feeling.” She said before breaking the hug and looking at all her friends. “So? You said you had a surprise for me.”
“Oh, yeah!” Izzy suddenly remembered before she and Sunny moved out of the way to reveal what they made. “Tada!” The unicorn beamed.
Zipp looked at the new object her friends created; a small hoop that was suspended slightly off the ground, similar to the ones lions jump through in circuses. “Even if we support you not going back up in the sky immediately, we still do want you to fly again.” Hitch told her.
“It makes you part of who you are, Sis. You shouldn’t lock that part of you away for good.” Pipp added.
“So, we figured we’d give you something to help you slowly gain your confidence in flying back.” Sunny joined in.
“Just practice flying through the hoop, and when you feel ready we can add more to it until you’re ready to try flying outside.” Izzy finished before asking. “Do you like it?”
Zipp didn’t respond with her words. Instead she walked up to the hoop and spread her wings, surprising her friends at her boldness. “Wait, Zipp. You don’t have to-“ Pipp tried to stop her sister before Zipp interrupted her.
“I want to do this.” She told them before she gave her wings the first flap she gave them in a month. Her body started to lift off of the ground before gravity seemed to pull it back down. But another flap kept the pegasus in the air. Slowly, Zipp flapped her wings until she was level with the hoop. Then, she adjusted her flapping so that instead of upwards she went forward and passed through the hoop with ease, coming to a land on the other side. She looked back at her friends and told them. “I love it.”
Her friends cheered in happiness and ran up to congratulate Zipp. “Zipp, that was incredible!” Sunny said.
“It was just a small flight. Any pegasus could do it.” Zipp bashfully replied.
“No. This was more than just a small flight.” Pipp told her sister. “It was a massive leap for you and how far you’ve come.”
Zipp looked out the window, at the sky outside, and smiled. “Yeah. I guess it was.”
Three weeks passed, and every morning when Zipp would wake up she would fly through the hoop. Eventually, she started to fly through it more than once in the morning. Then she started also doing it in the afternoons and the evenings. Soon she asked Izzy to raise the hoop higher, to which the unicorn quickly complied. She would then start asking for more hoops, and have them lined up in a row. She then started to spread those hoops out more and into a maze, making it challenge to fly through them all as fast as she could. Finally, one morning, Zipp decided she wanted a change in environment and she went outside. Once there, she opened her wings and took to the sky.
The feeling returned that she had been missing and avoiding for so long. Freedom. Nothing was holding her back at this moment. Her problems were on the ground where they belonged. All that mattered to Zipp right now was the feeling of the wind against her body.
She looked down and saw her friends cheering for her, Pipp no doubt live streaming the whole thing in her excitement. Zipp smiled at them before she started to loop around in massive circles and finish with a massive nose dive that flew her right past her friends, much to their excitement.
As she flew up high, Zipp couldn’t help but laugh. Before she was afraid of freedom and what it might lead her into becoming.
Now, she wouldn’t give away this feeling for anything in the world. And she planned to keep it that way.