//------------------------------// // Omake Dark World: Hearth Warming's Eve // Story: Pony POV Series Season Six: Dark World/Shining Armor // by Alex Warlorn //------------------------------// "Howdy every Shadows Who Watches! It's Pinkie Pie here! Yes that Pinkie Diane Pie! The one from our main timeline! Broadcasting to you live again from atop the forth-wall . . . wow I can see the toy factory in China I was first produced in from here . . . I bet it's full of love and happiness! . . . Never mind. "Anyway POV Ponies, the Dark World arc is far, far, far from over. I mean, the pages of notes left are longer than a chapter! But I promise it'll be a worth while ride every chapter! After all, it's gonna take a lot of work to fix up a world messed up by Discord. I wonder what kind of party I could try to throw HIM to get him to stop driving ponies insane. Oh well. "Anywho POV Ponies, and I see you in the audience Neo Stream and Coffee Swirl! Hiii! I hope that CGI verse is working out for you Neo Stream, and have fun chatting with the interviewers Coffee Swirl! "Well, we have a lot of the next couple chapters written, but I'm guess you can guess what'll happen next so I don't need to spoil you! But now it has to go through editing, a lot, the author really doesn't know grammar. I wish I could throw Meanie Pants Me a party! But Celestia's Papa and her sister with the mechanical wing told me that would rip a hole in time and space and wipe out half of both universes. "I wanted to do another Pinkie Pie Forth Wall Breaking Variety Show, but the author, the editor, and the producer of the audio adaption, have put together this sweet little short work set in the dark world for ya! Alright everypony, shadow, everyone, please enjoy the show!" "Pinkie! Who are you talking to?" "Oh! No one Rarity!" Pony POV Series Dark World Omake I-Don't-Have-A-Clue-Canon "Hearths Warming Eve." "It's the nine-hundredth, and ninety-eighth year of our Master's reign! Ponies called it the end of the world as they knew it! But I feel fine!" Fluttercruel danced about with a meat cleaver and a broadsword like they were gymnastic streamers. "Yes my dear! It is a wonderful time! Let us uplift a random town into the glories of complete and utter insanity! I win! Ha ha!" Discord said wearing a party hat, "But what I don't get is, how and why that old bearded reindeer keeps breaking into my castle every Hearth Warming's Eve just to hand me a lump of coal." Twilight Tragedy added, "What I find strange is how Angry Pie just stares mindlessly for twenty-four hours at the minty green socks he always leaves her." Fluttercruel said, "You ought to ASK her about that, then." "Not worth upsetting her with questions." Greedity grumbled, "The rest of us keep getting underwear. Except Fluttercruel, she gets two diamonds while Master gets one, lucky." Fluttercruel blurted out, "I just wanna know why won't he just DIE already!!" Discord growled. Just the THOUGHT of that reindeer's annual infiltration filled him with bile... "...turned a foal into a stereo system, forced Rainbow Dash to push an old mare and her newborn granddaughter over a cliff, in order to get you to spare all of Cloudsdale..." It had been an EXASPERATINGLY TEDIOUS twelve hours. Through it all, The Reindeer had just kept on plowing through his long and painstakingly unabridged list of transgressions which Discord had committed, starting from 365 days ago. It floated in front of The Reindeer's face, several hundred pages thick. "...transformed three innocent mares into a companion for Cerberus..." Snarling, Discord snapped his fingers, and a 10-ton safe fell on The Reindeer...who simply opened it up from the inside and walked out like nothing happened. "Putting itching powder in a certain cow pony's hat. Cursed all who die to rise from the dead and zombies and attack, oh wait, you got bored of that one and removed it. My mistake." The Valeyard let out curses as the The Reindeer had swapped out his keys to the TARDIS for a lump of coal, NO ONE STOLE THE KEYS OF THE TARDIS FROM HIM!!! He also swapped the battery for his Sonic Screwdriver for a piece of candy cane. "You'll get them back when the Holidays is over." The Reindeer said. "...gave a love-starved mare cursed chocolates that gave her aneurysms every time she tries to talk to any stallion..." How was he even able to COMPILE these rap sheets? Some ultra-sophisticated 24-hour surveillance network? Clairvoyance of some sort? Or WHAT IF he was in with the Alicorns...?! Suppose one of Celestia's siblings up in Pony Heaven had decided it was finally time to stop being an unresponsive nonparticipant in mortal affairs and actually... nah, that was just DUMB. "Completely rearranged the words of a manuscript someone worked their entire life writing..." It would have been one thing if The Reindeer were speaking in a monotonous drone. Seething venom would've even been FUN to sit through! Instead, there was unmistakable good humor and merriment in his voice. You'd almost think he was a comedian reading off a series of Top 10 Lists of Blunders... a comedian too professional to actually laugh out loud himself.   "...Turned a family of ponies into dragon flies, then their pet dog into a living plush frog..." Twilight Tragedy fired a magical beam at the Reindeer, but it just phased right through him like a hologram. "...and put the empty milk carton back in the fridge." The Reindeer adjusted his reading glasses on the bridge of his nose. "...My, you've been a VERY naughty boy this year, Discordance." "Why! Won't! You! Die! Already?!" yelled Discord, dropping exploding mailboxes on the Reindeer, but his body simply refused to burn.   "Ho ho ho! You still don't understand, do you, Discordance?" asked the Reindeer, walking up to him, ignoring all attempts on his life with the same jolly glee. Even when Angry Pie leapt onto his back to bash him into meat paste... it was like watching a pigeon trying to peck a statue to death. "Can't touch Christmas... oh, sorry, I meant Hearth's Warming Eve with bad intentions..." "Corporate Equestria says otherwise! Twilight Tragedy! He's a threat to our perfect chaos!" "Yes, Master." Twilight Tragedy obediently cast a disintegration spell. It bounced off him like a tennis ball off a brick wall. "Misguiding someone else's good intentions still counts as bad intentions, Discordance. Particularly when you were the one who indoctrinated like that in the first place, and the true heart can never be touched by wicked intent," said the Reindeer, reaching into his bag and taking out a very large lump of coal and placing it in Discord's lion paw. He then handed wrapped presents to the five visible ponies in the room, but stopped at Traitor Dash and Liarjack. "...You still don't want better gifts? Rainbow Dash? Applejack?" "No...I don't deserve it..." Traitor Dash replied, her head down. "Ah do. That's not a lie at all." "Why do you even visit us?" The Reindeer sighed. "Because, a mare who is constantly forced to make impossible judgment calls by a very naughty draconequus and a mare who lies for the sake of reducing suffering are not naughty at heart." "We've done a LOT naughtier things besides that." "You were FORCED to do those things." "We still did 'em, though." "Suit yourself." He simply handed them their gifts of underwear. "Well, I'll see you next year, Discordance, I've got lots of places to go! Just because you're being a naughty boy doesn't the whole world is!" "One moment," Discord called out, and The Reindeer looked over his shoulder. "Every year, like clockwork, you waltz on in here, bypassing every deathtrap, ... all impervious, all omnipotent... clearly you don't lack for power! You know how very committed I am to naughtiness." And Discord bit down on his lump of coal, chewing it like a cookie. "But you never go the next step! What keeps you from banishing me? Why do you even bother coming?!" For the briefest instant, the look in The Reindeer's eyes could have frozen stars. "Because that's not what this special holiday is for. And I bother because... it's always worth reminding you that you aren't the final word in power."   Then the sunny twinkle returned to his eyes. As he swung his bag over his shoulders and turned to go, Fluttercruel leapt off a balcony and tried to behead him with a katana, but his neck just reconnected without missing a beat. "Ah, Fluttercruel, almost forgot you," he said, taking two lumps of coal and handing them to her. "You actually managed to be slightly less naughty this year, so I made them smaller! Ho ho ho!" Then he strode out, humming 'A Circle Of Friends' to himself, while Angry Pie stared blankly at her own gift. "And there ya go! A christmas story, oops! I mean Hearth Warming Eve story in the middle of August! But give it a few months and those reading this then it will be the right time of year! Well everypony and everyone, we all hope you enjoyed the show! Oh and as an extra non-canon bonus!" RD and Gilda looked around confused as they walked into view. "Hey Dash! I mean! Flip-flop! What are you doing here?" "ME?! What are YOU doing here, you fake friend!" "FAKE?! I'll have you know-" "Hey! Gilda! Dashie! Don't catch!" Pinkie Pie threw a couple of water balloons at them. "Wait? Don't catch? What do you-Agh!" RD and Gilda were soaked, and became a griffon chick and foal. "Hey Gilly!" Said foal Dashie in a high pitched  voice. "Hey Dashie!" Replied Gilly defying several biological laws by smiling cutely with her beak! "Wanna play Ponies Rangers?" "Whao kay!" Pinkie Pie waved, "Okay! Now we're done! Love you ya! And keep smiling!"