Wow, I thought our mansion was big; Celestia’s… I mean, Twilight’s palace makes it look like a playhouse in comparison. A genuinely impressed Diamond Tiara rapidly hopped from room to room, taking in all the grandeur and splendour of her ornate surroundings with a mixture of awe and envy.
I’d only been here once before as part of a school trip, but that had to be cut short because of an ‘incident’. Why did Snip and Snails think they could both squeeze into that suit of armour together? Me and Silv could’ve seen all this, instead of waiting at the hospital for somepony to get a giant tin-opener. Honestly, those dolt-colts…
The merest flickering thought of her lifelong bestie, now far, far away in the much humbler backdrop of Ponyville, did cause Diamond to halt her headlong charge temporarily. I-I wish she was here with me now. It’s not half as much fun seeing the sights of Canterlot without her by my side. Maybe I could ask Princess Twilight if Silv could come for a visit… no, I’ll demand it. It’s like Daddy always says if you want to be in charge: Assertation, Not Deliberation. D-Daddy…
During her somewhat tempestuous trip through the sky to her temporary home, Diamond had been swept along by the heady experience to the extent that she’d been able to cast aside her innermost feelings on those she’d left behind. But now that not only her closest confidante but also loving father figure were no longer around and the cold, hard reality of her new living situation encircled her from every conceivable angle…
…All the fraught mental baggage that came with it began bubbling to the surface once again. That is to say, the self-confessed ‘unbreakable’ Diamond Tiara started shedding a few tears onto the freshly-polished marble floors of the main hall.
Geez, w-why are you doing this again, you pathetic loser? Didn’t you tell Daddy just before you left that you’d be a strong, brave filly while you were away? Maybe Mommy was right about you all along. Y-You’re just a hopeless weakling who trades off the family name. ‘That valuable cutie mark is wasted on you, young filly. You’ll never grow up to become a powerful leader, if you let your emotions control your actions’. I-I know she told me a lot of wrong things, but perhaps, in this case, she was r-right…
Diamond struggled to control the flow of moisture from her eyes, even as she admonished herself personally for ‘disgracing’ her historical heritage. Her business-orientated father and self-entitled mother gave her such radically different advice from two completely unique perspectives, sometimes it was difficult to process everything into a cohesive whole…
…Particularly when you’re a maturing child yourself, still getting used to the world around you. Familial expectations, parental discord and now a forced relocation; it all added up to an uncomfortably bewildering sense of confusion and uncertainty that anypony of any age would find hard to endure, and Diamond Tiara was just nine.
Still, one of the upsides of living in denial for so long about the pressures of a rough upbringing is that you tend to develop various ‘mechanisms’ to deal with them. With Diamond it used to be the senseless bullying of her peers, but now she was trying to push that particular outlet aside…
…She’d decided to act like a brat to older ponies, instead. You tended to get away with a lot more of that anyway, in her experience. They’re so patient. So tolerant. And so, so more gullible.
“Hey, what are you lot looking at?!” Diamond abruptly snapped out of her morose funk to glare in anger at some of the castle guards around her, who seemed torn between holding their positions as commanded or aiding the obviously upset filly in their midst. “Didn’t you servants get the memo? I live here from now on, so you better treat me as the princess I am! This crown on my head isn’t just there because it looks pretty, you know! So, now what I want you to tell me is… where’s the biggest room… what are we having for dinner… who’s going to bring my luggage in… oh, and where can I go to the bathroom…?”
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Oh where oh where can that nuisance filly have got to?! Twilight flew around the palace at top speed, whilst still being polite enough to nod at every sentry who saluted her as she passed by. I’ve tried the kitchen, the throne room, the meeting chamber, the garden… sorry Flurry Heart, but I do believe we have a new hide-and-seek champion, and her name is…
“Diamond Tiara?!” The final part of Twilight’s soliloquy there was stated out loud, as Twilight was just able to brake her wings in time to avoid colliding with what could only be described as a mini military procession.
Eight of her most loyal hoofpicked palace soldiers were marching four-a-side single file, with an unmistakable pink filly in the centre barking out orders: “...So, it’s agreed then. You two can carry my bags indoors, you two can go tell the chef what I want for supper, you two can go prepare my bedroom, and the last of you can guard the bathroom door while I take care of… business. Perform these tasks for me adequately, and I’ll even put in a good word with… Princess Twilight! How lovely to see you! I was just updating your servants on the new living situation here. Don’t worry, I’m starting to feel at home already… er, Princess Twilight? Why is your face turning red? Are you feeling okay?”
No, in fact ‘Princess Twilight’ was not feeling okay.
In fact, it took every fibre in her being to stop herself exactly expressing the true extent that she wasn’t ‘feeling okay’.
After all, it is most unbecoming to lose one’s temper in front of a child.
Especially with half your guards watching on, nonplussed.
So, with almost superpony reserves of restraint and control, Twilight swallowed her innate anger and attempted at least to address her new charge with as much cordiality as her current irate mood would permit.
“You. Upstairs. Now. We need to have a serious talk about the way things work around here, which is…”
(At this point Twilight gestured to the soldiers around her, some of which now didn’t seem to know whether they were coming or going)
“...Almost the exact opposite of this.”
“Oh, horsefeathers. I knew you’d ruin this for me…” Diamond rolled her eyes at Twilight’s firm reprimand, whilst using a mild profanity Scootaloo had been kind enough to teach her. “ What’s wrong with lending me the use of your staff? If Randolph was here, I’d be happy to share. So much for ‘making me feel at home’. Can’t we at least have a meal first, before we chat? I hate using such common language, but… I’m starving.”
“...Alright then, but nothing too fancy. It’s late though, so all the cooks have probably…”
“Great! I’ll have a walnut salad then, with olives, pomegranates, kiwis and strawberries. And no dressing, please. It totally ruins the exotic flavour.”
“W-Wait, Diamond. I-I’m not even sure we have all those…”
“Whatever. I’ll just make do without the lettuce. It’s the worst part, anyway. I’ll just be going to the little mare’s room first, then I’ll meet you in the dining area. This place is so massive, by the time I find it the salad will probably be ready. Well, be seeing you!”
Before Twilight could inform the demanding filly that iceberg lettuce was probably the only ingredient on her extended list they had in stock, she was already half on her way to emptying her bladder.
Twilight watched her disappear for the second time since their arrival in Canterlot with a frustrated shake of the head.
“What am I going to do with her?” she pondered out loud, not really caring at this tense juncture if anypony could hear her hopeless lament.
But while the guards who were now shuffling back to their posts in earnest either didn’t have the courage or experience to put any useful suggestions forward…
…The solution may just have arrived in the form of a snarky reptilian advisor, freshly appearing on the scene and with a natty bandage on his tail to hoof.
“...Well, I have a few ideas, but I don’t think you’d accept any of them. So, did I miss anything? Oops, looking at your face, you better not answer that. Anyway, what’s for supper?!”