//------------------------------//
// What I'm Hearing Within 
// Story: TCB: Beneath My Skin 
// by Madrigal Baroque 
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On Trev's fifteenth day at Bureau 042, he was pulled out of his morning class (Equestrian farming 101) and directed to go to the lobby. He had no idea what to expect, which was fortuitous. Whatever he could have imagined wouldn't have been what was waiting for him.

Who was waiting for him.

Acharjeet Singh was wearing a neat business suit, the sort he wore when teaching. His briefcase sat on the floor beside his chair, and he smiled as he stood up.

"Baapu!" Trevinder might have been five again. He ran and threw his arms around his father, almost knocking him over in his haste. "It's so good to see you!"

Acharjeet chuckled. "It is wonderful to see you, Trevinder, if somewhat hazardous to my equilibrium. You are looking quite well."

A soft clearing of the throat made Trevinder look behind him. Beth, the receptionist, smiled at them both. "There's an empty office just down the hall. I thought you two might want to talk…privately." She cast her eyes around the lobby, to indicate the curious gazes of the waiting applicants.

She showed them to the office–little more than a walk-in closet, really, a storage room for broken furniture and disused equipment–and left them to their reunion.

"I'm so glad you're here, Father." Trev couldn't stop smiling. He was so happy he wanted to start bouncing like Lilac at her most joyful. "I have to confess, I'd given up hope of ever seeing you again. And now you're here! What changed your mind?"

"You've put on a bit of weight, my son." Acharjeet's smile was more placid. "They must be feeding you well."

"I work the breakfast shift in the kitchen. I help with the cooking, and the head cook lets me steal samples here and there." Trev basked in his father's comforting presence. Everything would be fine now. Better than fine. "Have they assigned you a place to stay? I don't have a roommate right now, and the rooms hold four people. Maybe you and Mother could stay with me. We could ask Beth…"

He paused. The pit of his stomach suddenly felt very heavy. The look on his father's face was one of deep serenity, of loving patience…and gentle pity. It was the expression Acharjeet always wore when he was bearing unpleasant news. Trev suddenly felt very cold. In an oddly detached voice he asked, "Where's Mother?"

"Your mother is back at home. This has been very…difficult for her.  She could not bear to come."

"You didn't come here to Convert." Trev's voice was a strangled whisper, almost a croak.

"I came here for one more look at my son. A foolish thing, perhaps, which will only cause another sad parting…but your departure two weeks ago was rather abrupt. I wanted a chance to affirm my blessing, and to say a proper goodbye."

Trev took a step forward. Boldly he confronted his father with a courage and resolution born of desperation. "Father…they've taught us a lot here. We've found out so much. There's so much more to learn. I have to explain something so you will understand how hopeless it is to stay and die with the Earth."

Acharjeet looked bemused. "The cub wishes to instruct the lion?"

"Father, these ponies have magic! Magic really exists in Equestria, and they've brought it here."

His father's face became grave. "Yes. It is called 'thaumatic radiation,' I believe. Not that it bears any resemblance to ionizing radiation on the familiar spectrum, but the effects are just as deadly to humans. All members of the Hominidae are adversely affected–gorillas, orangutans, chimpanzees, bonobos… Whether the lesser primates are affected is unknown, due to the lack of available experimental–"

"How can you be so calm about it?!" 

"If I were to scream and shout and throw things, would that improve the situation in any way, my son?"

Trev wanted to shake his father until his teeth rattled. He was suddenly afire with an unthinkable rage, unthinkable because this was his father, the man he had admired his entire life. Yet he wanted to hit this man, hurt him, beat some bloody sense into him. 

"You know, Father, unicorns don't just use magic. They can sense it. They can sense souls…" Trev swallowed hard and forced  out the words. "And humans don't have souls. When we die…when we die, we're done. There's no afterlife, no Paradise, no heaven or hell. There is…no…God."

Trev shut his eyes and braced himself. His father hadn't raised a hand to him since he was three and got his hand smacked for reaching towards a hot pan on the stove, but Acharjeet Singh was devoted to his beliefs, and Trev had just spoken unthinkable blasphemy: There is no God.

He heard his father sigh deeply. Trev opened his eyes. Acharjeet hadn't moved.  He didn't look angry. He looked incredibly, wearily sad.

It was more than Trev could bear. He burst into tears and covered his face with both hands.

At once he felt himself enfolded in his father's arms. "My son…my precious son. To see you so troubled is painful to my heart. Perhaps I can offer some small comfort to you."

"How?!" Trev wailed helplessly into his father's shoulder. "You and Bebe aren't just going to die! You're going to cease to exist!" He shook with his sobs. "You'll be gone forever if you don't come to Equestria with me…"

He couldn't say anything else; he was sobbing as though his heart was breaking. Because it was. His knees gave out and he sank to the floor. His father knelt with him and just held him, letting him cry himself out. It took a long time.

When Trev's wails had subsided to choking sniffles, Acharjeet dried his face tenderly with a soft white handkerchief. It almost set Trev crying again, but he managed to stave it off. 

"I was wondering if you could answer one question for me, Trevinder."

"What?!" That came out sharper than Trev had intended. He cleared his throat and swallowed. "What is it?"

"Can you hear a color?"

Trev drew back and stared at his father. Why was he making jokes at a time like this?

But Acharjeet's expression was serious. He was asking his ridiculous question in dead earnest. "It's a simple enough query, Trevinder. Are you capable of hearing a color? Does red make a sound you can detect?"

Trev gaped. Had his father gone mad? 

"Perhaps you would better comprehend a different allegory. Can you taste music? Can you grasp a beam of light?"

"Baapu, have you lost your mind?!"

"No, my son." Acharjeet stood, pulling Trev to his feet. "This concept you have shared with me, of this reality being purely physical, with no spiritual essence at all, is a theorem known well to an associate of mine at the school. We have discussed it often. Dr. Nybil, as I may have mentioned in the past, is a devout atheist. He will, of course, be choosing Conversion. He has been trying to convince me to do the same. As I explained my point of view to him, I will now present my hypothesis to you."

He guided Trev to a lumpy sofa and sat with him. "This equine alien princess, Celestia, is said to be thousands of years old. In that time she has surely gained much wisdom and seen worlds far stranger than we could imagine. Her people, her ponies, are very caring and considerate, as she is herself. I am certain that this is considered no less than a rescue mission. She wishes in her benevolence to save an entire sapient species from irretrievable destruction."

"Yes! Father, that's exactly what's going on! Trust me, they've done their research, and they can't detect–"

Acharjeet held up a forestalling hand. "Precisely. They cannot detect any spiritual essence, what they call magic. But consider, just consider the possibility…what if there are spiritual forces extant in our unique reality that they cannot detect?"

Trev shook his head. "No, Father, that isn't possible. Celestia has visited countless realities and this is the only one that has none of the essence of life, the essence that allows magic and souls to exist. It's a dead universe, Father. Purely mechanical."

"And any human who becomes a pony, they will receive an Equestrian soul instead of their non-existent human spirit?"

"Yes! Oh, Baapu, and we will live in a beautiful world, one that can never be polluted or ruined by greed and neglect. All ponies work together to keep Equestria going, and they always help each other. Everything is green and beautiful and there is no want, no hunger, no war or disease."

"Indeed, it sounds like a paradise. I am sure you will be happy there." Acharjeet embraced his son and stood up. He reclaimed his briefcase and started for the door.

"Father!" Trev leapt to his feet. "Please, Father, you and Mother don't have to die with the Earth. What I'm telling you is the truth!"

Acharjeet paused at the door, looking back at his son with compassion and love and patience…and perhaps regret. "It is their truth, Trevinder, and I can see that it is yours. My truth is in my faith, and my God."

"Father." Trev felt so weary, and so sad. "Your faith is a lie, and your God doesn't exist."

"So many have said the same, throughout the ages, yet still some of us believe. Only time can possibly tell who is right." Acharjeet smiled gently. "Perhaps someday I will hear the colors. And if I am wrong…" He shrugged mildly. "Well, I won't be there to notice, will I?"

Trev watched his father walk through the door and shut it gently behind him. He wanted to run and stop him…but he knew it would do no good. 

He sank to his knees, wrapping his arms around himself. He didn't cry again–he just shook and shook. It was all so bloody stupid, all so bloody sad.

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