Another morning with Discord, more crazy antics to expect. This time, Sunset Shimmer found Discord sitting on the couch with a bunch of papers placed around the floor. On each of them lied strange scribbles related to Pinkie Pie. From what she’s heard, Discord is more interested in Fluttershy and Twilight, but not so much Pinkie. It was time to seek answers, and honest ones this time.
“Discord, what’s this all about?”
“Back at Sugar Cube Corner, I was spotted by Pinkie Pie and that’s how Celestia and Luna got to ‘punish’ me for my misdeeds. Now, the one thing I can’t buy is that she somehow got to Sugar Cube Corner without getting herself in trouble for skipping class.” Discord explained, his gaze still on his scribbles.
“You do realise there’s no use in questioning Pinkie Pie’s rather bizarre powers, right? I tried, and gave up after spending one too many months trying to get to the bottom of it.”
Discord, however, didn’t seem to be listening. “I’ve asked Pinkie’s teacher and she confirmed that she was in fact, present at her class which leaves me to believe that...” dramatic pause, something Discord is known for ladies and gentlemen. “... There is more than one Pinkie Pie! She has a clone of herself helping her out in her schemes!”
Sunset Shimmer brushed it off. “Come on, I know Pinkie Pie can do all sorts of unbelievable things, but a clone of herself, seriously? That sounds too farfetched to me.”
“Nothing’s farfetched when it comes down to that pink pony- erm, human... thingy.”
She laughed, before making her way to the kitchen. “Well, have fun with your research. I’ll just go on with my day, if you don’t mind.”
Laugh all you want, Sunset Shimmer, but I will figure out what you couldn’t explain. Then, I’ll be able to put this knowledge to use to prevent Pinkie Pie from ever one-upping me!
The day was just about to start, as indicated by the flood of student making their way to Canterlot High. During that time, Discord impatiently waited at the entrance for Pinkie Pie to show up. She’s rarely ever late for school, which was a good thing for him since he wanted to chat with her a bit.
His foot was rapidly taping against the floor as his eyes darted left and right, growing more and more tired of waiting. Many students walked past him, but none of them were Pinkie Pie! Could she just hurry up for his sake already?
“Hi there, Discord! Were you looking for me?” speak of the devil...
“How? How did you know?”
She gleefully pulled out her cellphone and showed it to the old man. “A text from Sunset Shimmer, silly!”
Oh my, these text messages sure travel fast. Much faster than our letters back in Equestria... Perhaps I could steal some for Fluttershy and I and then; we could be so much closer with this technology!
“Then I suppose you’re ready to listen to what I have to say.” he said in a displeased tone.
“Go ahead, I’m listening!”
“Remember yesterday? Yo-”
Discord barely had the time to explain the situation that Pinkie was already going on a tangent about yesterday. “Of course I remember yesterday! It was such a fun day! I-”
“Don’t interrupt me when I'm talking! Anyway, you were there at Sugar Cube Corner and got me caught by Celestia and Luna. The only thing I want to know is how. How were at two different places at once?”
Pinkie Pie laughed gleefully. “Ha ha! That’s the Pinkie Secret! I can’t tell anypo-anybody about it or else I would have broken a Pinkie Promise and you know just how much I care about my Pinkie Promises!”
Discord snarled. “Grah! I’ll figure out your secret one way or another!”
“Ha ha ha! Feel free to try! It’ll be like a game between us! Woohoo, let’s start the game right away!”
Oh my dear, don’t think you can best an ancient draconequus at this battle of the minds. I’ll make you spit out your secret involuntarily...
Walking down the hall, Discord came across somebody else he’d rather avoid like the plague; Trixie. He gave her the ol’ stink eye and upon noticing it, she gave one back.
“Discord, the new nemesis of the Great and Powerful Trrrixie is ready to lose badly again?”
The old teacher pushed her off to the side. “Yeah yeah yeah, whatever. I’ve got more important business. Got no time to deal with you.”
Trixie stared blankly for a couple of seconds, before holding out a hand to her chest accompanied by an insulted look plastered all over her face. “Hold on! You don’t just ignore me like that! When the Great and Powerful Trixie demands your attention, then you better listen!”
Discord couldn’t ignore her anymore, especially when someone even dared to talk to him like that. “I see I’ve damaged your massive ego. My apologies.”
Trixie scoffed. “Like how I broke yours yesterday? Shouldn’t have messed with someone too great and powerful to handle.”
“Great and Powerful this, Great and Powerful that. All I've seen you do is a pitiful attempt at a ninja vanish and let me tell you; I’ve seen better ninja vanish in my life.” Discord responded with sass.
“Ha! That was just the tip of the iceberg when it comes down to what Trixie, which is I, can do. Tomorrow is the day of the party and I’ll show you there what I'm made of.”
“Well good luck with your show. I know you’ve got about as much spine as an invertebrate.”
Pinkie Pie stood in front of a vending machine, eyeing the various treats it offered. With so many delicious options, she was torn on what to choose. From chocolate bars, to peanut butter crackers, to pretzels, there were so many good ones! “I know! I’ll just ask her what she’d like to have!”
“Hello there, Pinkie Pie. Who are you going to share this with?” It would appear Discord has been following around for a bit, waiting for the good moment to strike.
“With Rainbow Dash of course! With how much she runs around, she needs some calories for her next game which will happen before lunch!”
“Aren’t you sure there’s someone truly special you’d want to share this with?”
“Hmm, no. Rainbow Dash is someone special, so I'm going to share this snack with her!”
“Okay but like, even more special than an athletic girl perhaps?” Discord insisted.
“What could be more special than that?” Pinkie replied as she tilted her head to the side.
“You! You and your physics defying abilities!”
Pinkie remained silent for a moment, trying to process the whole conversation. “I can’t share food with myself, silly!”
“D’oh, forget it. You clearly know what I'm talking about but you refuse to admit it.”
“I don’t know what you’re on about but I like talking with you, Discord!”
Discord left while she was talking, no longer interested in pursuing this tactic. He of all people knew for a fact that Pinkie Pie isn’t dumb like many would think. She’s very smart, in a extroverted kind of way, there was no good method he could use to make her spill the beans involuntarily. So, if he can’t make her talk, he’d have to catch her at her worse.
Inside his once again empty classroom, Discord convinced Twi to lent Spike to him until lunch time. The ex-draconequus hoped that the little puppy could provide some insight on Pinkie’s mysterious powers, mostly if she could duplicate herself to perform some funny shenanigans.
“Thanks for giving me some space, Discord! Don’t get me wrong, I like being with Twi while she’s in her class, but being stuck in a schoolbag can get a little uncomfortable.” Spike said to the old man.
“It’s my pleasure Spike. You see; I’m a dog person myself (Mostly a Fluttershy person) and I figured why not spend some time with you, a talking dog!” Discord explained in a flattering voice.
“He he, don’t you have talking dogs too in Equestria? I heard there are dragons, griffons and centaurs in there, so surely a talking dog must be rather common.”
“Um...” Digging through his memory, he was surprised to find that there’s barely any talking dog he ever met during his long existence. “Not really. I don’t remember the last time a dog spoke full sentences to me.”
“Oh wow. I guess I must be something special then?”
Discord leaned over his desk. “Ho ho certainly yes! You know, I’d like to hear how life is for a talking dog surrounded by humans. To be precise, I want to know more about your friends.”
“I can tell you a lot about them, but don’t you already know them? You know, the ones in Equestria?” Spike asked, raising a paw to scratch the back of his head.
Discord buried himself in his chair. “There’s gotta be some differences between them. This world is already vastly different from mine, so surely its inhabitants must be different in some ways.”
Spike pondered the ex-draconequus' point of view, before agreeing. “Okay then, it’s fun to know that you’re interested in them, but can I also talk a bit about me too? I-I mean you said you were a dog person, right?”
Discord hid his disdain, this time with greater success. “Sure, but I'd like for you to start with Pinkie Pie if you don’t mind, then you can continue with yourself.”
Getting excited, Spike did exactly just that. It took at least a good twenty minute for Spike to do his rundown of all his friends, though he did spend a good chunk of time describing himself in flattering detail. Problem was, Discord didn’t learn anything new about Pinkie Pie, so he was stuck listening to the puppy long after his interest faded away.
“Anyway, that was all of my amazing friends? So, are you satisfied? I certainly hope so because I get to hang out with another guy! Don’t get me wrong; it’s fun to hang around these girls, but I feel like I want to also spend times with guys that share some traits in common with me.”
Discord raised an eyebrow. “And what traits do we have in common?”
“We have the same friends!”
Discord’s eyes shifted left and right before he pulled something out of his desk. It was Ogres and Oubliettes! Brought straight from Equestria too at that! “Yes, but we also love games, don’t we?” he said in a tempting voice.
“Oh sweet! A role-playing game! I love them!”
“So, you’re already looking for a replacement?”
Vice-Principal Luna was walking alongside her older sister in the school’s halls, discussing about Discord who had pretty much become the talk of the town by now. Every student mentioned him briefly in their conversations, whether it was about the Trixie incident or the rumours about his “harem”, their opinion were more on the negative side. He didn’t appear to be bothered, however, which can be chalked up to the fact that he’s only staying here for a week.
“Sunset told me he’s only staying here for a week, and I wish I had known before I decided to hire him. He’s not the best at his job, but at least he’s not terrible. The students have only given him one complaint so far, and that has been resolved.” Celestia explained in a slightly worried voice.
Canterlot City was currently short on employees for all kinds of jobs. Nobody truly knew why this was happening but it was bad, especially bad for schools like Canterlot High since good education would lead to more people getting jobs, and more people getting jobs would surely solve this issue.
But right now, they had to find a new teacher to take Discord’s place once he’d leave.
“It would be good if we could get his class to be more... pleasant with him. Students always learn better if they have a good relation with their teacher.” Luna said as she peeked through Discord’s class briefly.
“He seems like a nice person even though he’s a bit devious.” admitted the school’s principal, although her words didn’t quite make their way to Luna’s ears as she was too busy staring through the classroom’s window. “Uh, sister?”
“What’s Spike doing here?”
The door opened, and the two sisters entered. Spike and Discord stopped playing and looked at them, surprised yet worried all the same.
“Oh, um. Good morning to you two wonderful ladies. How’s it going?”
Luna glanced at the game, then back at Discord. “Are you playing Ogres and Oubliettes with Spike?”
“P-Perhaps, but I assure you I'm not shirking my oh so important duties as a teach-”
Celestia turned her head to face her younger sister. “How did you know from this distance?” she said, sounding quite amused. Luna froze for a moment; she might have said something she’d regret. “I always knew you were a fan of these kinds of games! Nice trophy by the way, I’m sure you deserved it.”
“Oh... so I was, that bad at hiding it?”
The principal giggled. “It was amusing to see your valiant efforts at keeping it a secret but I assure you; it’s not embarrassing for an adult to be still playing video games.”
Adults playing video games, yes, now that could work in Discord’s favor to get closer to a certain, Pinkie Pie...
Anyway, once he was done talking with the two sisters, Discord resumed his game of Ogres and Oubliettes with Spike. Eventually, they finished their game just in time for the bell to ring across the entire school. First thing the old man did was convincing Sunset to lend him her console, then he approached Pinkie Pie with it.
“Good morning to you, Pinkie! How about we have a little fun with this?” He said as he pulled out Sunset’s console.
“Ooh! You wanna play Tirek’s Revenge! I’m in, I’m in!” Pinkie Pie reached into her locker but she couldn’t find her console.
“Oh yeah, it must be in he-my bag!”
Discord raised an eyebrow as he watched this energetic girl pull out all sorts of bizarre items from her bag, eventually coming around to getting what she was looking for.
“Fabulous, now we can bond over a fun game of Tirek’s... something.”
“Revenge.”
“Yes... Revenge.”
Sitting down at an empty seat at the cafeteria, Discord and Pinkie Pie began their run. There was just one little problem for the ex-draconequus; he never played a single video game in his entire life. Even just the concept of video games was completely unknown to him prior to his visit in the human world. But with Pinkie at his side, he was sure to have a good coach.
“This button makes your character jump! This button lets you attack enemies! This button lets you use item and this button here makes your character do a shake.”
“Shake what?”
“Shake yo booty!”
Discord remained unimpressed. “I’m laughing out loud...”
“It’s not a joke, silly! Tirek will do it if you press that button.”
The old man pressed said button, torn between hoping that it was just a joke and hoping that it was real. After the betrayal he felt during Tirek’s rampage, he wanted nothing more than to see him be humiliated through whatever means possible. This was one of the reasons why he frequently went to Tartarus in his spare time.
Much to his joy, Pinkie wasn’t lying. “Ho ho ho! Now this is perfect! Yes, yes!”
The pink-haired girl giggled at Discord’s sudden spike in enthusiasm. “That’s the spirit! We’re having fun already!”
Their gaming session was then, strange from her perspective. Discord would frequently run into traps, take hits from various enemies and even purposefully get himself killed. “Uh... why are you trying to lose?”
All she got was more laughing fits coming from the once draconequus. “Oh, Pinkie Pie. You wouldn’t get it.” And just like that, he forgot why he even proposed the idea in the first place.
“I guess you’re right.” Pinkie stared at the window on her right, more specifically at the statue. But I'm sure my good friend over there would.
Sunset got herself a nice veggie burger for lunch. She was a little late to the party since she had a long exam this period and the teacher was kind enough to extend the duration past the period. Once she sat down next to her friends, she noticed that one of them was missing in action.
“Where’s Pinkie Pie?” she asked to the group.
“Pinkie? Oh, she ran off somewhere and muttered somethin’ ‘bout Maud needing a rock sandwich, I think.” Applejack answered.
Discord was also eating next to them which once again got him some strange looks from the other students, especially since he was awfully friendly to an uncomfortable Fluttershy again. Suddenly, Discord saw something peculiar from a nearby window. It was Pinkie Pie! And guess what; she was standing by the statue! The portal... I knew it! There’s two of them, but the other one is my Pinkie! I won’t let that slide!
In a flash, he jumped out of his seat, opened the window and dropped onto nearby bushes much to the girls’ shock.
“Wha- I can’t believe the mad lad just did that!” expressed Rainbow Dash as she leaned on the window and stared at the running old man.
Discord ran as fast as he could to catch his new enemy in the act. He was so close, just a small distance left to cover. “Pinkie Pie! I see what you’re trying to do!”
Pinkie turned around with a surprised look on her face. “Oh? You mean how I was just about to give Maud a rock sandwich?”
“Not that! I meant that you were about to greet your pony self into this world!” Confused, Pinkie stepped aside to reveal Maud leaning on the statue.
“She’s giving me a rock sandwich. I like them.” stated Maud in the most monotone voice the old teacher had ever heard.
“Huh?!” Discord couldn’t believe it; Pinkie was surely trolling him right now.
“My sister, who’s the best in the world, likes to hang around this cool looking statue! I like to spend time with her too, I don’t only have my friends after all!”
Exasperated, Discord left the scene. “Forget it, I’m just wasting my time here.”
A few seconds after he had left their views, Maud turned to her sister. “This was a good prank.” she stated.
“I know! Thanks for helping me, Maud! You're the best!”
Behind them, a third figure appeared, that of Pinkie Pie. “Does he know?”
The ‘human’ Pinkie Pie giggled. “No! I think he just gave up!”
“Ha ha ha! We are truly the best pranksters in all worlds!”
“Give it up for... the Pies!”
Maud removed the rocks from her delicious sandwich. “Just for your information; I don’t actually eat rocks. They’re not edible.”
“So Discord, what did you learn today?” Sunset asked curiously.
The ex-draconequus pouted on the sofa, still angry about his loss. “I learned to set realistic expectations, something I’m not used to considering realism is the last thing I want to experience.”
“W-Well, I didn’t hear any bad things regarding your classes in the afternoon, so I imagine it must have gone well?”
“It did, but at the cost of being mind-numbingly boring to me.”
Sunset giggled a bit before saying “You’re making progress, Discord. I’m sure the students as well as the faculty of the school are warming up to you. I also saw that you got closer to Pinkie Pie today which makes me happy to know that you’re interested in making friends there. You know, after your so-called punishment is over, you’re always welcome to come back to us.”
“Not sure I’d return to a place where I’m forced to give up my true nature just to exist...” Discord responded with his arms crossed. He then took a sip from his cup of coffee that Sunset so generously made for him.
“It was also hard for me to give up my magic the first time I got here but as you can see; I learned to live with this change. I’m sure you just need time like I did, Discord. Don’t be so harsh on this world.”
“Hard to be nice to it when I arrived with zero expectations to which they were somehow let down... I want another cup of coffee.”
“Ugh, make it yourself, lazy bone.”