Unstoppable!
Both Solar and Shadow Guard are exceptionally discreet, but the servants and court officials are the true source of gossip in the country so Nadir and I made sure to make a real show at the table. This time we played offended and cold, muttering half-words, making up comments meant to seem like some offensive innuendos (while actually speaking totally non-sequitur nonsense) and throwing each other loathsome glares. Making it a challenge of wits: to hide laughter yourself and make the other to fail hiding their laughter. I kept a steel face while Nadir was performing the assassin school of combat Silent Cobra technique with his knife and fork on a pile of pancakes. He covered his laughter with a coughing fit when I asked him to confirm or deny his involvement with the alleged circumstances surrounding the recent spike of sales of cyan ballet tutus in the Appleloosa area.
I thought about us needing to do something like this every day, maybe for many years to come.
No, I'd never get bored of this.
The breakfast was over and we headed for the press conference.
First, rumor of most recent attempt of assassination. This surprised me until I heard they meant the “explosion after the Gala”. I repeated my story about “disagreement”. The reporter was insistent, asking why of all objects that suffered damage, it was the tub that got the worst part of it.
“Allow me to handle this one.” Nadir nodded to me. He spoke:
“There are many cultural differences between our countries. Things considered perfectly normal in one are taboo in the other. One of these things is privacy while using the bathroom. In Hippotigria this is a mere distasteful inconvenience without special social impact and does not impose the social habit of interrupting an interesting, important or, for that matter, aggravated discussion. I learned the hard way that this is not the case in Equestria. The unfortunate tub happened to lay between me and Princess when I managed to invade her privacy. The sudden concussion prevented me from ever seeing just what Princess Celestia was doing, but luckily her healing spells are flawless and the issue has been clarified, apologies were made and cultural differences explained before security forces of either country could get involved and complicate the issue. This too is the reason for the force field, we needed to come to a mutual agreement before allowing more complications in the form of curious reporters and the like.”
Juicy enough, the reporters should be satisfied.
“Many ponies reported a... hitch in this morning's sunrise. Would you care to explain?”
Nadir stood up again.
“A truly terrible display of power. I shall never mention the military prowess of Hippotigria in presence of Princess Celestia again.”
The usual. “Who is the father of Princess Luna's child.”
“It's her call to answer this question,” I answered with the usual.
“Where is Princess Luna?”
“Taking a well-deserved leave of absence. It will last about a week.”
“Why the sudden decision to accept Prince Nadir's proposal?”
“I believe it will be beneficial to both our nations.”
“Some claim it's an attempt on sovereignty of Hippotigria.”
Nadir answered this one, assuring separation of power.
My heart sunk a little at his cold mention of separation, as if it were to involve more than just influence over our countries. Then I felt his tail wrapped around my tail, reassuringly.
“What are the alleged mutual benefits?”
I stepped forward again. “You will receive copies of the first in a long line of mutual contracts after the conference. The Prince's personality may be a little... gritty but he's an excellent politician and we spotted countless areas where relations between our countries could be improved and be mutually beneficial.”
“How come you're practically enthusiastic about current agreements while those two hundreds years ago appeared to be a fiasco?”
“Because Prince Nadir is a flexible negotiator, willing to compromise, and exceptionally honorable. He gave enough of proof of that at the Gala. The old contracts were simply not acceptable and Prince Veth appeared to be too inflexible, refusing to negotiate the offending points. We argue about current contracts long into the night until they are acceptable and satisfactory to both sides.”
“I know this is best aimed at Princess Luna, but since she's currently absent, could you maybe give a hint about the... unusual look of the yesterday's night sky?”
“This is directly related to the prior question. We discuss. We argue. The arguments sometimes become quite heated; not very polite. Performed in a style definitely not possible between two opposing politicians but only natural for a betrothed pair. After the accident at the Gala I actively avoid letting my emotions cause bodily harm and property damage. This is the side effect of that avoidance.”
Nadir stepped up. “Expect more of that over the upcoming days. We still have a lot to discuss and some upcoming issues are bound to make both of us rather emotional.”
“Examples?”
“As a prince of Hippotigria I am expected to produce an heir to the throne. As much as I'd like to compromise on this issue, I'm afraid skipping this point is not an option and I will absolutely require Princess Celestia to deliver a healthy foal once we marry.”
That was my cue to play shocked and disgusted. Damn you Nadir, why do you make me play shocked and disgusted when I want to prance with joy?!
I stormed out of the room, into adjacent office, Nadir ran after me. I slammed the door shut and locked it, gave the journalists a nice dose of “Are you insane?!” in the Royal Canterlot Voice, then grabbed him in a tight embrace and kissed him.
* * *
That was definitely enough fodder for the journalists and they rushed out to publish their scoop.
“Expect more of that? Rather emotional? Negotiating the heir?” I laughed, hugging him tightly... In fact a bit too tightly as he used the Sliding Lockpick technique to escape my clutches. But not without sneaking another kiss in first. We headed to the royal archives, where I recovered the promised copies of Prince Veth's proposed treaties, but I packed them in an envelope, and told Nadir to read them later. I really didn't want to spoil his mood.
Then, as we were about to head back to my room, a cloud of dragon fire sprung up. Oh, a friendship study report?
I checked the letter, first having a peek at the signature. Applejack! How unusual! I almost expected her letter to contain her accent, but no, it didn't carry over into writing.
Dear Princess Celestia.
Today I have learned that love and friendship can stand in conflict against each other. Love is a powerful force, stronger than reason and bearing as much potential to cause good as bad. I'm worried that my friendship is crumbling. I haven't realized Rainbow Dash's feelings towards me were reaching beyond friendship. I know I'm breaking Rainbow Dash's heart and I can't do anything about it! I still wish to be her friend, but I just don't love her, I can't even think about her that way! Instead, I can't stop thinking about Captain Storm. I've seen him only for a night, but he keeps returning to me in my dreams. I really don't know what to do, and neither do any of my friends, so I hope maybe you can help?
Your faithful subject
Applejack.
I passed the letter to Nadir and sighed. I'm really not the right pony for such questions.
“The way I see it”, he said after finishing reading, “is we should talk to Storm. If it was Zephyr, sure, Zeph likely had more girls... and boys than about any zebra. I was truly surprised he didn't take Pinkie to the back room. But Storm is the responsible one. He wouldn't fool with a filly who's in a relationship.”
“You mean Zephyr is so good that he could pick pretty much any filly in the world?”
“Now now he's a good zeb. He doesn't break up good relationships. But if he managed to have a one-night-stand with me when I'm definitely not into stallions, he must be good.”
“With you?!”
“Don't ask.” Nadir lowered his head.
“I guess there are things I'd better not know.”
“Thanks.”
“I wonder, if he's so good... does he do threesomes?”
“Threesomes, foursomes, crossdressing, bondage, name your fetish, Zeph has them all. At least all the mostly harmless ones.”
“Rainbow Dash madly wants to join the Wonderbolts. Do you think Zeph could find her a partner?”
“Not while he's jailed, that's for sure.”
“Oh, I think we can negotiate an early release of the prisoners. But you'll have to reintroduce them as completely different zebras.”
“Give them a neat make-up when released, to make them look different from their usual self... Though I wouldn't worry much. Nopony seems to have made a connection between me and the imprisoned assassin despite my cutie mark never changing...”
I snickered. Yeah, there is no point in a prank if the victim is never given a chance to realize they've been pranked. I guess sooner or later somepony would notice...
* * *
Three hours of common country matters, audiences, petitions, decisions. Nadir sat back and observed, sometimes throwing in a snarky comment, and acting deadly bored, but I could see him learning the inner workings of the country. Maybe to adapt better ideas for his own, maybe to point out things I could be doing better, maybe just to be able to replace me in case both me and Luna would be gone... I thought of spending a few days with Luna, completely careless and free of all our duties. Well, most of them anyway. Nadir would not be raising the Sun of course. I wondered if Tempus could... eh, doesn't matter, I'd be so obsessed with what goes on with the country without me that I'd be unable to relax anyway.
An hour of break. We retired to our respective rooms, then I bamf'd to Nadir's as soon as the lock on my door clicked. I wouldn't dare to have sex with him at the moment, but some light cuddling? I wanted to snuggle up to him a little, but he just shook his head, reached to my neck, then... removed my horse collar and put it on his neck.
I must admit, he was extremely handsome in the huge piece of jewelry, with a thoughtful, somewhat pained expression on his face.
“Two hours... What was I thinking about when I declared two hours a day?” he said, lifting a piece of parchment and placing it on a lectern. “I need to write a letter to my brother and now I'm reluctant to pick the quill for added weight to my neck...”
I wanted to comfort him a bit but the removed weight left me light-headed and somewhat lost. The feeling was wonderful, but I felt as if I had lost a sense of purpose, a goal of my life.
“You look so radiant, Celestia” Nadir looked at me with pained, but elated expression. So incredibly handsome.
I closed my eyes and extended my neck, to kiss him. And his lips found mine. The touch was tired, slow, full of effort, but simultaneously hungry, feeding on the kiss, gaining strength from it.
I opened my eyes and broke the kiss.
“Relax. Rest.” he said. “I'll write that letter and... I don't know, maybe I'll join you.”
I obeyed, filled with this new freedom not sure what to do. The thought of taking it back on... if it wasn't Nadir, I'd flee, leave Equestria to its own fate... But I wouldn't sentence Nadir to a lifetime of this burden. I felt somewhat bad about keeping him still wearing it, and there was no way I'd make him spend two whole hours in it... how would I break it to him so that he wouldn’t feel bad about it?
“I know what you're thinking” he said, while pausing to dip the quill in the inkwell. “And there's no way you're talking me out of this.”
He returned to writing for a while, then paused again.
“It will not break my neck nor my soul, but it will be an important lesson in humility. Next time I'll be more cautious about making idle declarations. I'm aware of my age and lack of experience. You treat me as an equal and I thank you for that, but we both know the truth. There is so much I have to learn.”
I took a breath to interrupt, but he continued, answering me before I got to ask my question.
“Yes, I know I'm unusually experienced for my young age, but that is still not even a drop compared to you. And the experience I have: I didn't get it by avoiding problems but by taking them head on. I act bravely, often even recklessly, but I never avoid the consequences of my actions.”
So adult and serious. Was it the burden, or was it his honor and pride? Well, young prince, time to take a real lesson in humility. We don't always have the comfort of being able to take the difficult, honorable solution. Sometimes we are victims of circumstances and forced to take the easy way out.
“Then you'd better find a believable-looking dummy for me. I have an appointment once the hour's break is over, and I'm definitely not explaining why my betrothed is wearing my jewelry.”
Oh, the look of panic, of pain in his eyes. So trapped. So helpless. So restless.
Give up, young prince. You wanted a share of my ageless experience, accept it.
“Can't you...”
I shook my head no.
“Or summon an...”
“Not for long enough, not believably.”
“Celestia, please!”
“It's your honor, right?”
He lowered his head. “I will admit to everything,” he muttered.
“That would be very unwise. It would weaken your position as well as mine and my sister's. And put her lover in danger.”
“But... but that...” he perked his ears, raising his head again. “No, you're right, I can't do this.”
I nodded.
“Then... Then what shall I do? I... I really don't want...”
“You're asking for my advice?”
“Yes.” he hung his head down low.
“You will have to tarnish your honor one day. It's unavoidable. Do it as rarely as possible, but someday you will be forced to break your oath.”
“But today?”
“Think. If you can't think, hope for help from your friends.”
“Storm!” he rushed to the door but I held him in place with my telekinesis.
“No, Nadir. He would be just as clueless and seeing you destroyed would be hurting him too.”
“Who then?”
I smiled.
“You!”
I nodded.
“Tell me.”
“When the hour is over you will remove the accursed collar and return it to me. And you will trust me and hope that I'm doing the right thing.”
“And you'll be doing?”
“The right thing.”
“Celestia, please!”
“You have currently about fifty minutes left to figure it out yourself.”
“But...” then he paused, then nodded. “It's a lesson, right? The real lesson. Not just a test of endurance, but a real lesson in humility.”
I nodded.
He sighed and nodded. “I can trust you. You wouldn't hurt me on purpose.”
“You don't know me as a teacher yet.”
“I know you as my beloved Celestia.”
“And so did Luna, but she ended up for a thousand years on the Moon.”
“That was different...”
“So did Twilight, and I sent her to fight Nightmare Moon, as a lesson in friendship.”
“It was necessary”
“It was deadly dangerous. In fact, so many things could have gone wrong that it was unlikely she'd succeed.”
“This is not necessary.”
“You don't know about my appointee. And the cost, comparing to failure against Nightmare Moon...”
“Only this youngster's pride and honor?”
It pained me to do so, but I nodded. It would be too easy if he just knew the truth.
“Celestia, you're scaring me. I... I don't know if I can trust you.”
I steeled my face emotionless. It hurt. It hurt bad, and I was not so sure if this lesson was worth it anymore. The burden of responsibility lifted off my shoulders, but the burden of years? Of ages of solitude?
Then Nadir smiled and shook his head. “What in Tartarus am I talking about. Of course I can trust you. Maybe it's my youngster's pride and honor that need to be put in check. I love you, Celestia, and you're just protecting me from doing something completely stupid.”
I smiled and made room for him on the bed.
“So, you found some loophole, didn't you?” he asked, while crawling up onto the bed.
“I wouldn't put it that way.”
“Come on!”
“It's very simple actually.”
“Does that involve the time talismans?”
“Nothing that fancy.”
“Tempus?”
“No, not at all.”
“So how am I to bear the collar for two hours if we only have one hour time?”
“Do we?”
“Yes, no more free time until evening.”
“That's true.”
“Wait. You want me to wear it for another hour in the evening. Right?”
“I don't. I'd rather you gave up on that silly idea entirely.”
“But that's what your plan involved, right?”
“Right.”
“But that's...”
“Two hours a day. I'd be angry if you took it in three-minute intervals, but two separate hours is entirely reasonable.”
“It's so simple in the hindsight.”
“Of course. It always is.”
“You're an awesome teacher.”
“And you're a bright student.”
“Not quite like Twilight, though?”
“She'd be still obsessing and drawing a graph of options right now.”
“You mean she wouldn't find out?”
“Oh, she would. But this class of problems takes her longer than others to solve. She'd have the solution in some thirty minutes maybe. With a proof.”
“Obsessive much?”
“And you weren't?”
“Point taken.”
He lay on his side and rubbed the collar with his hoof.
“It doesn't feel so heavy anymore.”
“It's all in your mind. Put it in the right perspective and it becomes quite bearable.”
“But never light.”
“Bearable. There are things that make it much easier.”
“Like?”
I tucked him under my wing.
“Ask a stupid question” he muttered, snuggling up to me.
* * *
“So this is your appointee?” Nadir frowned.
“He, and most of the rest of the Solar Guard. And it would be completely unforgivable if you were not present.” I said, finishing changing from my golden hoof-overs into soft felt leg protectors and screwing on a red ball-shaped protector on my horn tip.
“Princess?” Captain Shining Armor bowed his head.
“Captain, this is Prince Nadir. He will be training with us today. I specifically request, do not withhold secret techniques from him. Neither will he, so try to pick up as much as you can.”
“Yes, Princess.” the big unicorn bowed. I could see his eyes laughing. Sure he thought I brought the young, arrogant prince to have him spanked... well, captain, you're in for a surprise.
“Prince Nadir, would you be so kind as to lead the warm-up?” the captain asked.
“Yes, sir.” Nadir smoothly assumed the position of subordinate to the leader of the exercises, surprising him a little. “I request somepony else to lead the wing-stretching part though. I'm not experienced with these.”
He led us all in a little trot around the gym at first, going through some of the most basic exercises, stretching fetlocks, flexibility, neck. He yielded the leadership to an appointed pegasus for a while, allowing for a wing-stretching part, quickly catching up and returning to more standard training. A segment of canter, a segment of rapid gallop, more canter in a serpentine, some pesades, changing leads, collected canter, collected trot, down to a walk, stop.
More flexibility exercises, including balance. Not all of my guards could flawlessly stand on both front hooves, some were helping themselves with wings, while he was standing on one hoof, gesticulating with the other giving pointers to the guards. Then a considerable length of exercises while standing on hind legs. Pesade, levade, capriole. The last one caught my guards a little... off-guard, especially pegasi had trouble leading it to a landing instead of taking off into the air. A bit more stretching, and we were back to walking. Piaff, passage, extended trot... everything a bit faster than usual, but then...
Without ever losing a beat, Nadir shifted into Western style. Rundown, sliding stop, backup, rundown, sliding stop again, rollback, spin, kicking...
Most of guards were at loss. They tried best to the their ability, but most of them didn't know a single thing about this style. After I nearly fell over after a rapid rollback, I could see the captain saluting to Nadir.
We walked it down, quite sweaty, and when I thought it should be the end, Nadir told us to scatter. “Skirmish, fifteen seconds.”
He was met with blank stares.
“Don't tell me you don't do skirmishes.”
The captain shook his head.
“It's quite simple. The exercise prepares you for the training, raising your pain threshold. You fight, everypony on everypony. You don't care if they are turned back to you, you don't wait for an opening, you concentrate on offense, defense is secondary. One opponent, one attack, no matter if it connected or was blocked or dodged, you move over to a different opponent. No crippling or killing attacks, but hit in earnest. You are expected to earn a couple bruises. With the pain from the first moment you lose a lot of reservations during the actual training. Shall we do it?”
“Sounds simple enough.”
”Since you are new to this, fifteen seconds is far too long. Eight seconds. On my shout ‘Go’, start attacking, and don't stop until you hear me shout ‘Stop.’ Clear?”
“Yes, sir!” sounded the hundred throats.
“Go!”
I wish I could see him, I caught a glimpse of him dancing over the crowd. But then I received a savage blow to my flank, and there was no time, I fought. Buck, kick, hit with the edge of my wing, a slash with the side of my horn across some flank, and for every hit I was dealing out, I was taking another from a different side. The chaos, the inevitability of injury, the pain! The seconds dragged on as I struggled to hit and not to be hit, then I heard the loud and clear “STOP!” and I stayed my hoof an inch from the forehead of one of the guards.
I was panting and shaking. Eight seconds? That lasted only eight seconds? And at first he wanted it to be fifteen?
Nadir ordered a break to heal bleeding noses and bandage stronger injuries. “They are inevitable”, he commented to the captain. “This is standard.”
I made my way towards to the two, rather pained, listening to their conversation.
“It introduces imbalance,” noted Shining Armor.
“You can't expect balance on the battlefield. One day you come out uninjured, another you fight with a concussion.”
“You haven't received too many blows yourself...”
“A matter of experience. Twenty, thirty trainings like this, and we all level out. There are no masters of skirmish, only beginners and intermediates.”
“Well, it's an interesting exercise. Let's see what they teach in Entwine” Shining Armor assumed the pose.
“Captain?” I interrupted. “Prince?”
They turned to me. I assumed the pose.
“Princess Celestia, I wouldn't dare.”
“Oh, you can drop the pose, Nadir. The guards are very discreet.”
“As you wish.” he chuckled, knocking his front hooves together. “But let's start off lightly.”
“Classic Zo-Fu, up to third bar only. Three strikes win.”
“Let's dance.”
They all stood and stared. Classic Zo-Fu lacks violent and unstable moves, falls and rolls adapted from Cowpoeira, and shattering kicks of oriental kick-bucking. It has elegance and smoothness, it's a honorable sport, not a violent technique. And we really enjoyed the speed and tactics, without trying to hurt each other. Nadir definitely wasn't using his top speed.
We'd speak out the strikes in a very moderate tone, and I won by one.
“You've been holding back.” I said.
“So did you.”
“Not as much.”
“Want to tune it up a little bit?”
“Some elements of Tae Kwon Doe and Aiki-doe?”
“Crow Maga?”
“Have mercy.”
“You could use Wing Chun.”
“And slit your throat with my wings? No, thanks. Let's forget the fancy arts, let's have some unrestricted modern Zo-Fu.”
He nodded. We fought in earnest, and this time I was losing, giving ground. We both had some tricks the other still didn't know, but we were learning fast. Three strikes came all too fast... this time Nadir winning by one.
I shook my frazzled mane back. Nadir rubbed his leg, where one of my kicks connected rather hard.
I could see all the guards staring in awe. That certainly was some show.
“So, Nadir, up to some co-op?”
“What do you mean?”
“Captain?” I grinned. “Arrest us.”
* * *
I was sipping my tea, talking with a gryphon emissary. I didn't quite like him talking about the two of us as “us, winged creatures”. Nadir was still back at the gym, exchanging tips with the guards. The treaty the emissary offered seemed to be entirely in order, but there were entries that baffled me, seemingly pointless and useless. Matters of non-involvement in things I had never been involved in, reaffirming borders and the illegality of trespassing, and finally a request to acknowledge the regional government of the Alpac mountains area. Why should I be endorsing the government - more administration than government actually, of a minor province of their country, not even bordering with Equestria?
The economic incentives were generous. I'd almost say they wanted to buy my compliance.
The visit has been rather unexpected too. Almost rushed.
I consulted the map. Oh, yes. The Alpac mountains border on the south with a swath of nopony's land, a large wild forest, about as bad as the Everfree Forest, a place that gave me bad memories from the times of my youth. And then there was the corner of Hippotigria on the other side of the forest.
“Sir Skythorn, be completely honest with me. What do you want to achieve?”
He peered at the map.
“This map is off. The border between our countries runs along this edge of the Dire Woods.” he drew his talon along the line separating the forest from Hippotigria. “We would like you to acknowledge this border.”
“You mean the Dire Woods area is disputed, don't you?”
“The Dire Woods area belongs to the Province of Alpacia.”
“Shall we wait for the opinion of my betrothed in the matter?”
I could see the emissary's eye twitch a little. “That is not necessary, Princess.”
“But there is a significant ethnic minority... or shall I say majority of Zebras inhabiting more hospitable regions of the forest, isn't there?”
“A number of illegal settlers. They have always been a problem we'd turn a blind eye to... mostly”
“Oh, I'm sure you protect ethnic minorities and grant them far-fetched liberties, right? How many zebras are there in the council I am to endorse?”
“Princess, they are not an ethnic minority, they are illegal immigrants.”
“You mean they settled there just recently, while your country perused the land for a long time?”
“Precisely. We can't keep turning a blind eye to them much longer.”
“I think I need to consult historical records in the matter.”
“Princess, I must return to my country urgently. If the treaty isn't signed immediately, I will have to leave without it.”
“So soon? Well, I can pack up necessary records, ask my betrothed to follow, and accompany you in your travel for a time, while making myself accustomed with the records.”
“I'm afraid this will not be possible. I will be traveling on my wings back home as soon as possible.”
“Nonsense. A winter night with strong winds, you won't make a hundred miles until you have to stop to rest. I can provide you with my royal aerial carriage and transport you to the border of the country, with shifts of guards carrying us without interruption all the way, and there's enough room for the three of us to conduct the necessary research while we travel.”
I could see him squirm. I sipped my tea. He put his claw on the paper and almost shouted. “You will sign this now! Or else...”
“Or else what?” I asked him in a very cold tone. “I thought we'd been through this last time, with Feathertail Mountains.”
“Is that a threat?”
“Answer my question first. Finish your sentence. Or else what?”
Nadir choose that moment to enter.
“Prince Nadir, would you knock first, please?” I turned to him, playing ire, happy to see him.
The gryphon was about to take the papers and storm out, but I held my hoof on them.
“I'm sorry, Princess. I overheard you mention my people, I forgot my manners.” Nadir played apologetic.
“You are excused. Now lock the door please, and we will discuss the matter of allegiance of the... Dire Woods, was that it?”
“Oh, that disputed region.” He sighed, while completing my order. “We've been carrying plans to annex it for the last fifty years, but we didn't want to aggravate the situations with the gryphons. We have a few villages in there, a town of six hundred... right here” he pointed to a place where minutes ago the gryphon was pecking at “pesky illegal immigrants”. “The town is based off a settlement roughly three hundred years old, the records about the settlement of “Gloomy Brook” are somewhere in our royal archives. The gryphons don't have any established settlements but they hunt in the area frequently. It's not a problem as long as they hunt wild game and not cattle...” he gave a very serious frown to the emissary “...or foals.”
“First, there's our settlement, Eagle Nest, right here” the gryphon tapped his claw. “And the offender has been punished.”
“Eagle Nest is a military lookout point, permanent crew of three, working in monthly shifts. And the offender got off with a fine. The foal will have a limp for the rest of his life.”
“What is the total Zebra population in the area?” I asked.
“Around three thousand. They live outside the legal borders of Hippotigria so there has been no official census.”
“Sounds like enough to establish a completely separate province.” I smiled to the emissary.
“Nonsense! There are no gryphons there to establish a province!”
“Why, then it should be governed by Zebras. A local government composed proportionally to population ethnic ratio, a province of Dire Woods. And cut the nonsense with illegal immigrants. A four hundred years-old settlement is not ‘illegal immigrants.’”
“Cele... Princess, are you really going to condone Griffinia annexing this land?”
“I am definitely not going to condone a government with such heavily underrepresented minorities, not to mention such a hostile approach to native settlers.”
“We do not need your endorsement for this!” the gryphon gathered the papers from the table, crumpling them in his talons and turning to the exit. “Equestria has no say in our politics.”
“I sense...” I spread my hooves over a brightly green area of Hippotigria on the map “The Sugara Valley is going to have excellent harvests this year. A four thousand wingpower allotment for perfect weather and deferring the monsoon onto deserts. Or mere two thousand wingpower to rush the monsoon through; and you’d save on rain clouds too.”
The gryphon stopped and turned back to the map.
“Yes, the clouds come from over the sea, rush them through here, the settlers in Dire Woods will have a rather rainy season, but the clouds will quickly pass over the mountains, and should fall as snow,” commented Nadir.
“We signed so many contracts I can't remember them all... did you request two or four thousand wingpower service?” I asked.
“I've only agreed to reduce the prices on the rice exports to compensate for the cost of two thousand wingpower, plus interest,” Nadir was hiding his smirk, playing along, both of us making it all up as we were going.
“This... This is Feathertail Mountains all over again!” said the emissary with disbelief.
“Sir Skythorn.” I turned to him, coldly. “I thought you needed to leave urgently. I consider our negotiations concluded. Farming and weather agreements between Canterlot and Entwine are not of your concern.”
“We shall not let the clouds over our land!”
“That is your right.” Nadir nodded. “Of course gryphons chasing the clouds across the border will not be welcome in our air space. But you can keep the clouds over Dire Woods for as long as necessary for them to fall as rain.”
“That would be some thirty thousand wingpower for about four months each year,” I estimated. “And I'm completely sure the so called illegal immigrants would be totally drenched. They may even leave.”
“Our treaty is signed for how long?” Nadir grinned.
“Twenty years with full provisions for extension.”
I could see the gryphon's lower half of beak shiver. They had a limited range of facial expressions but I still could read them well. He estimated the cost, especially that gryphons were poor at weather management. Thirty thousand wingpower would cost more than the whole lousy province can produce.
“Of course I might consider hiring additional two thousand wingpower and defer the clouds over the deserts if I had any reason to do so,” Nadir smirked.
“I shall ask the council and come up with a treaty that makes adjustments to the status of the disputed area.” The gryphon suddenly became very docile.
“Noble sir Skythorn, may your talons always strike true. This is an excellent offer, but would you care to listen to my counter-offer?” Nadir smiled benevolently. “I shall draft the new treaty and you would be so kind as to present it to the council. Unless your urgent business doesn't allow that much time, that is, but I'm afraid I may be rather busy in the future.”
“Sir?” I nodded to the gryphon. “Prince,” I sent Nadir a shining smile. “I shall leave you to your negotiations.”
“Thank you kindly, Princess. It's moments like this when I regret nothing,” Nadir sent me a charming smile.
I unlocked the door and left, giving Nadir a nice view of my rump on my way out.
* * *
I was lounging on my bed, reading Equestria Daily, while Nadir, wearing my horse collar, was going through the final draft of our agreement with Minotaurs. The week was about to end, Luna would be back soon, and Nadir would return home. But for now we enjoyed each other's company while we could.
“Heh. Even Equestria Daily calls us ‘the unstoppable duo’ now.” I called out.
“What do they say?”
I read the article out loud.
The Unstoppable Duo triumphs again!
Everypony's favorite royal pair ruffled the feathers of the Harpy Queen. Despite alleged ongoing disagreements and rumored loud and violent arguments on personal matters, Princess Celestia and Prince Nadir never appear to be in disagreement when working for the good of Equestria and Hippotigria. In an unprecedented spree they keep signing one treaty after another, solving long-standing problems and tearing the old order down. Combining diplomacy, wit, and masterful strategical thinking, the duo has now developed a set of contracts that ended the Harpy menace of Rock Fall Pass, Eastern Hippotigria.
For centuries now the zebra settlements near the mountains were extremely protective of their foals. The harpies considered zebra meat a delicacy, foals being their favorite, and also easy prey. Now, in an unprecedented move, Diamond Dogs of the area agreed to threaten harpy nests, poach their eggs and collapse their caves if the Harpy Queen does not order the harpies to stop attacking zebras. The diamond dogs agreed to this on condition that the Mountain Goats of Razor Tops permit them to mine pyrite and much desired amethyst in their lands. The Goats agreed on condition that Muttons of the Highland Meadows give them access to one of the highest meadows, providing much needed food in the hostile environment. And the Muttons were happy to oblige in exchange for good prices on their wool, shorn by Zebras of the Rock Fall Pass.
You may ask why does Equestria Daily mention this foreign case - how is it of benefit to Equestria? Some of us will just be happy that a long-standing menace of our striped brethren-in-hooves is resolved. The rest should enjoy new imports of wool and amethyst. Fleur de Lis says thick woolen sweaters decorated with sequins and amethysts are to be top fashion next fall!
“I can't say I don't enjoy the new popularity.” He grinned. “But it gives us less private time.”
A swirl of green fire appeared unexpectedly, and a scroll dropped on the bed in front of me. That ugly mouthwriting style, Rainbow Dash! I read it out loud for Nadir to hear.
Dear Princess Celestia,
Today I learned to distinguish fascination, infatuation, friendship, love and desire. Now I know how hurtful and selfish my jealousy was. Applejack is a wonderful friend, but she can't love me the way I would like, so I'm letting it go. I'm not gonna lie, I still think of her shapes and adore her style, and would much like to be with her, but I understand how she's not going to accept me as anything more than a friend and I won't let my fantasies and desires get in the way of our friendship.
Rainbow Dash.
ps. huge huge ginormous thanks to you and Prince Nadir for sending Zephyr my way! Not only is he a great pal, but thanks to his tips I got Spitfire of the Wonderbolts to agree to train with me!
“Pinkie, Rainbow and Zephyr. That might get to be too much for Ponyville. Let's hope Rainbow Dash calms down a little with Spitfire,” I smiled gently.
“Let's hope this won't work the other way. With Spitfire in the gang, Ponyville will be doomed!”
“And with Rainbow, Pinkie, Zephyr, Spitfire, Storm, Nadir and Celestia?”
He coughed, snorted, then burst out laughing, kicking his legs up in the air.
“Doomed! Doomed forever!” I droned in a mock ominous tone. “Only the Elements of Harmony could save them! Too bad the gang has claimed two of them already! Wait, three! Count Twilight in too!”
“Twilight Sparkle too? She's such an orderly, organized pony!”
“You've met my phoenix, Philomena. Twilight and Philomena were best pals at school. Pranking each other as often as they could... One day I got caught in Twilight's trap for Philomena... it was only fair to return the favor and then team up.”
“You better check Discord statue for cracks” he snorted.
“Come on, we haven't really pranked anypony in, like, five days?”
“But we're doing it all the time!”
“No, not that. It's still months before we start seeing the fruits of that. Sure it's fun, but I was thinking about some old-fashioned ‘boo from behind the corner’ style prank.”
“Well, not months exactly. Yesterday a maid chastised me for making you so angry. She said she counted the holes in the clouds.”
“She did?”
“Thirty three.”
“Oh my!” I raised the hoof to my mouth, blushing a little.
“Oh, Sweet Celestia indeed! Good thing you don't shout out your own name during sex!”
“I might start shouting out yours.”
“That wouldn't be bad, they'd think you're really mad at me.”
“Unless I include other words, like ‘Yes’ or ‘More’. I'd rather not scream out at all, but I can't quite control myself.”
“I'm gonna get you a cute shiny new red ball gag.”
“I wouldn't mind but I'm afraid it wouldn't last. And how would you explain shooting somepony dead with the gag ball?”
“I think it calls for aid from an expert. Could you invite Zephyr back?”
“I have a better idea. We should drop in with a visit.”
“Doooomed.”
* * *
The week was over. Nadir was out in the city, “shopping” as he informed me when he left. Luna and Light returned in excellent moods, and loaded with artwork, posters, figurines, books and various merchandize, including some quite amazing pictures of Equestria, ponies, them, me... Luna gave me a big poster of Twilight Sparkle smiling triumphantly, and I promptly placed it on the side wall of my office. Light left me a plush miniature toy of me to give to Nadir. Then I was tasked with passing gifts to the Bearers, as Light called them, and for the zebras. Twilight would get a poster of herself, looking stern, with a sign stating “READ”, for the library, Zephyr would get some erotic portfolio of pony pin-ups. There was a pair of aviator goggles for Rainbow... Everypony would get a gift. And on top of that, Luna proudly held up a white pad of plastic with some buttons on the bottom and what looked like a sheet of paper embedded in the middle. She pressed some button and the writing on the sheet shifted and changed.
“Two thousands books!” she cheered, flipping through a long list. “And here...” she floated a hoofful of small squares of plastic “About four thousands books each! I can hold a wing of a library in my hoof!”
“Fascinating. What are they about?”
“Mostly academic textbooks and computer science, I've picked every single academic textbook I could lay my hooves on, but I have three cards filled with fiction, and all the classics of human literature.”
“Oh, I thought I'd forget.” Light reached to his stuffed backpack, grinning mischievously. He pulled out a box of pink cardboard with printed decorations and a plastic see-through front and gave it to me. He exchanged a look with Luna and they observed.
There was an ugly plastic pony inside. Long legs. Light pink color, with shiny blue wings, a thick, blunt pink horn, long eyelashes, purple tail and mane, purple hoof-overs and...
My frown deepened. There was a small hole in the plastic window, with an arrow sticker pointing to it, right over the pony's cutie mark “Try me” read the arrow. And the cutie mark was a button surrounded with flaming, golden sun rays.
This can't be. I stared at the horrible pink thing. This must be some kind of mistake!
And then I noticed a writing in the lower right corner of the box overlapping the window over the horrible pink pony. It read “Princess Celestia”.
I clenched my teeth and tentatively depressed the button with my magic. The wings moved and flashed with color, and a sound came. “My barrettes look so pretty,” squeaked the toy!
I threw it on the floor, away from me and took a step back.
“Oh, my hair looks so beautiful!” the toy chirped.
My disgust took form in my throat and I breathed it as a wave of plasma at the toy, melting it and turning it to vapor.
I gasped hard. Only then my ears began registering irregular clicking sound.
I glared at Luna holding her hoof over her mouth. I glared at Light with a camera in his hands, taking one photo after another as fast as he only could.
“GIVE ME THAT” I roared at him.
He tossed the camera to Luna.
Luna took off through the open window with the camera, gaining speed rapidly.
I rushed after her.
A minor rainboom, and she was gone.
Oh, no, my runt of a sister, you think you can flee me across worlds! I sped after the trail, tracking her, rushing along her path.
The path ended rapidly, and I materialized in a big office. Humans in cubicles drawing, drafting, preparing pictures, using computers. There were numerous toys around. Colorful humanoid robots with wheels, windows and other weird vehicle elements. Some board games. A big cardboard cutout of Twilight Sparkle!
I caught a glimpse of Luna's tail in an office at the end of the row of the cubicles and galloped there. There she was, inside a moderate sized room with a side wall entirely composed of windows showing a view of a strange city. Luna was standing next to a man in a suit; he was sitting behind a modern glass-and-metal desk with neat piles of paper and a computer keyboard and screen on it. There was the camera, right in front of him. He stared at Luna in disbelief.
I glared at my sister. She grinned.
I turned to the camera and coughed out another ball of plasma. It turned the camera and middle of the desk into glowing molten glass. The man, scared by the sudden attack jumped on his chair, resting his back against the wall behind him, looking at me in sudden terror.
“Sis, this is the design manager, the man who ordered that toy to look like this and selected the sentences to be uttered,” said Luna with a smirk.
I glared at the man.
“Luna. Moon.” I commanded through my teeth.
“Sis,” she frowned, “the moon here has no air. And they die without air.”
“Doesn't matter!” I muttered, stepping closer to the pathetic creature who fell off the chair and crawled to the corner.
There were noises outside, people running. I slammed the door shut with my magic, and smashed the two halves of the desk against it. Then I approached the human, who, in the meantime, wet himself. He stood cornered between the back wall and the side wall composed fully of enormous windows. He was shaking, panicked in the corner.
I lowered my horn and placed it to his throat.
“Your... disrespect... shall... not... be... tolerated... ” I squeezed the words through my teeth.
“Celestia, show mercy!” pleaded Luna.
“TRAITOR!” I roared, pushing my horn harder against his chin.
There were noises, people were attacking the door.
“Celestia, you don't want to do it!”
The pounding on the door intensified.
“In my whole life. In over four thousands years. No pony, no creature disrespected me so! I was threatened. I was abused. I was condemned! But NO CREATURE would ever mock me so!”
Suddenly an alarm began ringing and I was drenched in cold rain.
No, these were sprinklers in the ceiling.
The door burst open. I could smell burnt plastic - unlike the cleanly evaporated middle of the desk, there was actual fire outside.
People burst in. An elder woman in front, younger men behind. They stopped a few steps before me, kneeling and holding their hands raised to me.
The woman held a figurine.
A figurine of me.
Small.
White.
With pastel mane.
With white wings.
Rather flattering shape.
The others held clipboards, notepads, papers, printouts, water drenching them. All of them contained pictures of me, Luna, other ponies. Projects. Designs. Actually, pretty good designs.
My mane flowed to the floor in long strands in the downpour.
They knelt there, the water drenching them and their projects. I peered through the door. There was a pile of various merchandise burning in the middle of the passage in front of the doors. The fire was slowly losing to the downpour, extinguishing disgusting baby pony dolls, the pink me, a bunch of horrible projects.
I turned back to the manager.
“Today I will forgive you. Do not make me regret my decision.”
“And tell the legal team I do not condone them trademarking me,” scoffed Luna.
With a quick turn I kicked out a whole sheet of safety glass, leaving a wide opening to the outside. The glass didn't shatter, it was displaced from the frame whole and sailed to a grassy square many floors below. I gave the gathered humans a smile, then took off through the window and soared up, gaining speed. Luna followed close by.
I was barely feeling the loom of magic, and my outburst drained a major part of my internal resources. Could I make the jump? Suddenly I felt quite scared, would I get stuck?
Then I felt a rainbow ray of power hitting me from behind, replenishing my energy. I looked back. Luna was quaffing liquid rainbow from a small vial as if it was orange juice, and pumping me full of energy, sizzling with it herself. We sped up, and I followed her, as she took a trail between worlds she apparently knew quite well.
We landed back in my room. Light was waiting, sitting on a bench.
“So, how was the visit?” he grinned, noticing my still damp hair now stiff from frost. I exposed my mane to the sunlight, and it puffed up into its old flowing form.
“They were misguided. They won't repeat their mistakes.” I gave him my best benevolent princess smile.
He nodded.
Luna landed on the balcony and walked in. She floated one of these small square book storage thingies out of her mane, showing it to Light, and he nodded with a grin.
That grin!
“GIVE ME THAT!” I shouted, storming to her.
“What that?” she asked, badly faking innocence, hiding the card in her mane.
“The photos!”
“Oh, no. It's only fair I share them with Nadir to let him know what he gets himself into, after you gave my photos to Light!”
I sighed and gave up. All right. You win this round, sis.
* * *
This time we took the train. The travel was quite short, Ponyville well within sight of Canterlot. We'd occupy rooms in the town hall, his and my court - barely three guards and two servants each. His escort back home would include his two zebra friends too. I also made a point of taking Philomena with me. She quickly made friends with Nadir, the two making faces at each other.
And there we were, greeted by Mayor Mare and most of the town, with the famous six in the front row, flanked by the two zebras.
To my surprise I spotted Zecora in the crowd. She knelt and bowed to Nadir with deepest respect. He approached her while I was greeting Twilight, and I noticed how her ears perked at what they talked about. I remembered a brief visit to the Everfree Forest was scheduled for our visit later, but I guessed he'd visit the herbalist's hut.
We moved on to the Town Hall, for the banquet. The buffet table was set, with help of the Zebra guests, in some exotic dishes. We approached the table. The Zebras were to try the Cakes' delicacy, and we were to try the Zebra cuisine. I approached the long table tentatively, taking a small plate and looking at the first dish, which looked like a few inches long, featureless roll of white stuff.
“This is a serving of the Cake of Ten Thousands Days,” Nadir explained. “We didn't quite have enough time to prepare the real thing so this is only a Cake of a Thousand Days. It's sweet, very nutritious, although it's a food eaten almost only in times of emergency. It doesn't spoil, so about every family keeps one for times of hunger.”
“Sweet?” Pinkie Pie cut in.
“Hello, Pinkie. Why don't you take yourself a slice?”
Pinkie put a knife to the cake, measuring a rather thick slice, then changed her mind and reduced the slice size by half. Then she extended her tongue and swallowed the remainder of the cake, leaving the thin slice for us.
“Pinkie!” Mrs Cake intruded. “You hardly left any for the others! How many times must I repeat...”
Nadir grinned. “Oh, no worries, Mrs. Cake. There is a plenty of the cake left for all of us.” He scratched a side of the slice with the knife, separating a paper-thin circle off its side, then cut the papery circle in four, placed one quarter on his plate, the other on mine, and nodded to mrs. Cake to take a third one.
“As I said, it's very nutritious,” he continued. “A slice like the one I made, ‘a splint’ as we call it, suffices as a full meal. As we intend to try other foods, I sliced it further so that we don't satiate ourselves on the first dish.
I tried the papery piece. It was almost nauseatingly sweet, quickly dissolving on my tongue.
“Now, this is Appleseed Candy...” he stepped to the bowl next to the cake filled with colorful candies. “Do you want one, Pinkie?”
Pinkie looked at the candy uneasily. She reached her hoof, then withdrew it. “I’ll pass. I'm stuffed.”
“Oh, I estimate you ate well over two years worth of meals, so you'll be full for quite a while.”
“Two years?” she gasped. “Two years without eating?”
“Oh, maybe two days at most, knowing you.”
“Appleseed?” interjected Applejack, pushing Pinkie to the side.
“Yes, it's almost completely made from apple seeds. As we use apples for apple pies, apple tarts, apple cider, and whatever food Equestria knows well, we save up the seeds and once a year we make the candies for the orchard growth day. Applejack has been so gracious as to provide all the leftover discarded bad apples from making the cider, and Zephyr was picking out the seeds. All day,” he smiled smugly.
“I didn't know what you needed them for! I didn’t think apple seeds were good for anything!” Applejack's eyes gleamed.
“Well, try them.”
I got one, Nadir another. It tasted completely un-apple-like. It tasted like fresh water, except fresh water has no taste but the candy...definitely had it. It was chewy and dissolved quickly. Soon I swallowed the last bit.
Applejack chewed it thoughtfully. “Wow, it's actually quite good. Can I have the recipe?”
“You should ask Zephyr, he's good with those. Now for something to drink. Firefly extract.” he pointed us to a glass jug filled with a glowing liquid. “Made with real fireflies. It purifies body and soul!”
“Ewww. Worms?” Applejack grimaced. “I think I'll pass.”
“Me too,” I shook my head.
“As. You. Wish. My Princess!” he grinned toothily.
“On second thought, I'll try a little.” I poured a little in a cup and levitated the glowing substance to my mouth. I tried it tentatively. It tasted like lemonade. I closed my eyes, then downed the cup in one gulp. Lemonade. I tried to convince myself it's lemonade. I will not throw up. That would be too un-princess-like!
Applejack moved on to get a cup of honest apple juice. Momentarily we were alone.
Nadir filled his cup and drank it casually, licking the glow off his lips from time to time. “It's made with fireflies, not of fireflies” he whispered. “Like, they are helping.”
“Oh. And what does it really do?”
“Purifies the body of any undesired effects. Now for the appleseed candies...”
“Yes?”
“We use them to quickly expand apple orchards. A fully grown apple tree overnight. Sweet Apple Acres is equipped with an outhouse, not an internal toilet, so it's going to be fun. ”
“The tree grows out of...?”
He nodded.
“And all the others?” I pointed to the bowl with quite a few candies.
“Dooooomed” he droned quietly. “At least the ones who won't dare to try the extract.”
Twilight approached us.
“Hello, Twilight!” Nadir greeted her. “Have you tried the Spark Rolls yet?” he pointed to a plate filled with small rolls of golden crust with a nondescript stuffing. “They taste sparkly,” he picked one up and took a bite. “And they are supposed to enhance magic. Not that us, non-magical zebras would know.”
Twilight tried the roll, munching on it. “It's true, it tastes... sparkly. Would you like to try one, Princess Celestia?”
I smiled to Nadir. He nodded approvingly, then poured some more of the Firefly Extract in my cup. I tried the roll... and felt sparkles on my tongue! The taste of sparkles flowed through my body, throat, spine, and ended up in my horn.
I tried to float the cup to my mouth and suddenly a fountain of sparks from my horn shot the ceiling and sizzled all around. Nonplussed, I sipped from the cup and the feeling passed.
Twilight was coping with it worse. She reached for a napkin with her magic and a constant stream of sparks shot from her horn. She dropped the napkin.
“Oh, it's completely harmless” assured Nadir. Still, every time Twilight tried to use her magic, the sparks would spook her and make her lose concentration. At last she used the napkin the earth pony way, thanked and excused herself, surely to run and look for a counterspell.
Now for Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash and Rarity. Fluttershy was absent, I left her in the talons of Philomena, the bird would play sick again. Let's see if Fluttershy learned a thing or two and the joke will be on Philomena. Either way was fine with me. Now for Dashie... There was our Dashie drinking some cider and eating a rather big cake.
“Hello, Rainbow Dash” I called out as we approached, and she bowed to us, with mouth full of cake.
“So you're training with a Wonderbolt now?” I smiled.
Rainbow Dash swallowed and nodded, still unable to speak. She took a quick drink, then bowed again, swallowing.
“That's excellent. Spitfire said you're going to be an excellent guard!”
“A guard?” Rainbow Dash eyed two Solar Guards flanking the exit, standing perfectly still.
“Sergeant?” I called one of the guards. “Could you tell this filly what it would take to be a guard?”
The pegasus nodded and approached. “We must be excellent fliers and fighters, on top of being disciplined, punctual and hard-working. The magic bleach will make your fur and mane impeccable, you'll have to put on a few more pounds of real muscle and learn to stand motionless for hours at a time. Nothing, no silly faces or teasing may disrupt your concentration!”
“Dismissed.” I smiled, and the guard returned to his post.
Nadir grinned. “I believe you'll be an excellent guard, flawlessly able to keep an eye on these pesky Zebras!”
“It would be a honor to have you in the elite of my Solar Guard.” I gave her a nice smile.
We observed Rainbow Dash's face.
“You're not going to refuse the Princess, are you?” Nadir teased.
Jaw down low. The horror. That face.
I was unable to hold the smirk back. Nadir snorted a little. Rainbow Dash frowned.
“You realize that the Wonderbolts are an elite unit of the Solar Guard, don't you?” I smirked, unable to contain my giggling.
“And no, they don't need to bleach their coats,” added Nadir.
Oh, the changes Dashie's face were going through. Finally she beamed. “Thank you Princess! thank you thank you thank you!” she pranced in the air.
“Now that's my line. Princess, it's such a honor!” sounded from a side.
“Rarity! It's a pleasure to meet you!” I smiled to the unicorn. “Sir Fancypants mentioned you fondly.”
“He did?!”
“I think he mentioned something about inviting you around the Summer Sun Celebration to Canterlot!”
“Really?!”
“Of course if you want to come, you're welcome to stay at the castle!”
“Oh! Thank you Princess! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!”
“Oh, it's nothing, really.”
“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” she bowed to my feet.
“Stop please, Rarity!”
“Thank you! Thank you! *cough* *hack* *gasp*”
“I told you to stop! My new hoof-over polish! It's highly corrosive!”
“I'm so *cough* sorry, Princess! *splutter* It tastes terrible!”
“Here, let me help!” Nadir arrived to the rescue, holding a tall glass of reddish drink with a few ice cubes on the bottom. “Cold Hot Punch, it's guaranteed to kill the taste!”
“Thank you, Prince!” she lifted the cup and downed it in two gulps. Then she sat down, reddened, tears appeared in her eyes, little steam came out of her ears, then she breathed fire, no worse than a dragon.
“Water!” she gasped, smoke coming out of her mouth.
I pointed to the glowing jug. Rarity quickly filled a glass, and drank. She flushed her mouth a bit before swallowing the last gulp, then sat down relieved, gasping.
“Oh, yes. The firefly extract. I should have served this instead,” Nadir grinned.
“Firefly?” gasped Rarity looking at the gentle green glow. “As in, the little flying insects?”
“Yes, these fireflies.” Nadir nodded. Rarity caught her throat, looking slightly ill, then excused herself and galloped to the exit.
We hurried to a small “staff room” attached to the hall. I closed the door behind us, then we promptly fell to the floor, rolling with laughter.
“Dooomed!” howled Nadir, holding his stomach.
“Guaranteed to kill the taste!” I coughed out, shaken by laughter.
“Magic bleach!” He lay, struggling for breath.
“Unstoppable Duo!” I gasped. “Unstoppable.”
Click.
Click-click-click. From direction of the window.
I moved the curtain.
Photo Finish ducked behind the window sill outside.
“Catch her!” shouted Nadir. I rushed to the window, opened it and peered outside.
Photo Finish was sitting just by the wall. Her camera open, the roll of film missing.
She had a strange hardness to her look. I caught a glimpse of a few squirrels vanishing in some far bushes.
“Photo Finish!” I said, trying to sound scornful.
She stood up and looked at me, hard. “Du vill not prank Fluddershy! Lazt time du did, sie cried!”
“Oh, this time it's harmless!”
“Du. Vill. Not!”
“But you will give the roll of film back?”
“Yes..”
“And the copies?”
“Yes, yes!”
“And keep this secret!”
“Yes! Hurry up!”
I teleported the three of us near Fluttershy's cottage and we approached the door.
“Now, now, be a good bird and eat the soup, please” sounded Fluttershy's voice from inside. Weird knocking sounds. A metallic bang.
“Look, if you can't eat yourself, I'm sure Angel will help you.”
Slurping sounds.
I knocked on the door.
“I'm coming!”
The door opened and Fluttershy's worried face appeared. But as soon as she noticed the three of us, she smiled cheerfully and invited us inside.
“I'm very sorry about Philomena, I took the best care of her I could but I didn't know she doesn't like walnuts!” she said.
“But she loves walnuts? What happened?”
“She does? I don't understand! I gave her some walnuts, hard shell and all, they are good for the beak you know. And she kicked one and dislocated a toe.”
“She did? Poor thing!”
“So I put it in a cast, and asked Angel Bunny to help her when I was gone to make some soup for her.”
“And she didn't like the soup?”
“Oh, no! She loved the soup!” Fluttershy pointed to the bird standing on the floor, with huge plaster cast over her leg, next to an empty metal bowl with remains of some soup. “You did, Philomena, didn't you?”
The bird shook her feathers indignantly.
I looked to Photo Finish. She hung her head low in shame.
Philomena limped to me in the heavy cast. It was too big for her to fly.
“You have certainly learned a thing or two about handling animals since the last time, Fluttershy!”
“Photo Finish gave me a really big confidence boost. It helps a lot!”
“I think I'll take Philomena with me if you don't mind.”
“Oh, not at all. I'm sure the cast can be removed within a couple days!”
“Thank you again! Miss Photo, you owe us something, I think.”
The photographer shook her tail and a roll of film fell out of it.
“Zat is ze real one. Ze squirrels vere a decoy.”
I thanked her as Nadir put the roll behind his silvery sash.
I lifted Philomena to my back, and as soon as we were outside, she began picking on the cast with her beak.
“Now, now, no removing of cast early!”
She paused only to squawk indignantly, then resumed her activity and soon had her perfectly healthy leg free.
* * *
“Please, Zecora, stand up, there is no need.”
“Princess mighty, Majesty, I don't bow for Royalty.
Bows for wisdom here I make, gratitude for my sake.
In the Rock Fall I was born, Mother was by Harpies torn.
By your deeds you soothed my soul, stopping that menacing fowl.
So, for all the nights I wept, I'm forever in your debt.”
“Please, I'm ashamed I didn't do something about this earlier,” Nadir lifted Zecora's head with his hoof, speaking gently to her in Zebraic. “I'm sorry that I was not competent enough. I'm sorry for my father too. That only now I can help.”
“Don't blame yourself, Prince.” Zecora wasn't rhyming when talking in Zebraic either. “I have read about how complex the agreement was. It took more wisdom than any single pony could have. And both had to be wise enough to pair up and work together, even if you don't agree on personal matters.”
We don't? Oh. Oh, yes. All she knows about us is from newspapers and gossip.
Zecora invited us inside. Her little hut was filled with strong scents of herbs. Some were simmering in a small bowl on the side of the fireplace.
“If I'm imposing, just please tell me to stop, Prince, but I thought as a little token of gratitude I'd prepare some Agreement Brew. It would allow you to look upon each other more favorably, more forgiving of each other's shortcomings.”
“Celestia?” Nadir smirked to me. “Shall we?”
“I don't think it will be necessary.”
Zecora was somewhat startled by me knowing Zebraic but she bowed to me.
“We come to you with a different problem...” Nadir said.
“And even if you can't give us a solution, we will still expect discretion...” I continued.
“Forever in your debt, Prince and Princess.” she bowed her head.
“We really don't need the Agreement Brew.” I smiled.
“Just something to limit... the volume.” Nadir continued.
“The Royal Canterlot Voice is a special magic that cannot be silenced by mundane or magical means. No unicorn magic can stop it. We hope...”
“We hope a brew of Zebra origin would help. I know in theory this should be possible but my knowledge of herbs is insufficient... and I don't want to engage royal medics of Entwine in...”
“In what is a deeply personal matter.” I finished.
Zecora frowned.
“You want to argue quietly? No, that would be... Wait!” her eyes shone. She looked from Nadir to me, from me to Nadir. “Ha! Me old blind Zebra! Agreement Brew! Good joke! Good joke indeed!”
The discovery apparently put her in excellent mood as she positively danced over to the shelves filled with various ointments and potions. “I know how to make a poison of silence, a nasty thing, I don't hold it in stock obviously, but this is not what we need anyway. Princess must keep her normal voice obviously. A difficult challenge you set, but not beyond my skill.” She pranced between the shelves, picking out ingredients. “Any hints as to where the magic is located?”
“It's a unique chakra in my throat,” I pointed to it.
“A chakra, you say? I didn't know ponies ever studied them, but you are obviously not a normal pony.”
“Actually, it was Nadir who discovered it. As well as a few others.”
“He did? Oh, certainly he did!” I think I saw the zebra blush a little as she scuttled between the shelves bringing more goods to the central table. She gave me a small vial of clear liquid. “Drink this, it will help me see your chakras with more clarity. Prince, could you please open that chakra as wide as you can? I can leave you alone if you need.”
I swallowed the bitter liquid. Nadir covered my neck with gentle kisses, not paying any attention to the herbalist currently busy mixing some potions. Soon I felt the gentle kiss and the point opening like a bloom, allowing me to command and rule, grant my voice might.
And then there was the herbalist, stretching my skin there gently, pressing, observing. I felt her probing tongue on my skin, but it wasn't a kiss, it was testing.
“I'll try to make it clench closed, we will have to determine the proportions by trial and error. Too little will not work, too much will leave you voiceless.”
She began mixing essences, grinding seeds, then she picked a glob of clear, waxy substance from another jar and mixed the ingredients with it. Then she measured five drops of another potion into the mix, stirred again and approached us with the ready concoction. She smeared a little over my throat and I felt it tense and clench.
“Now try to say something in the royal voice”
I tried. The words sunk in my throat as if I was speechless. I tried to speak “I can't” but I couldn't either.
“Too strong.” the Zebra said, and brought me a cup of glowing liquid. Oh, the firefly extract! I quaffed it and my voice returned. The zebra mixed in another three drops of the liquid into the ointment and applied it to my throat again. “Now try. Can you?”
I tried. Just a bit, a little bit more... “YES” escaped my throat.
“Too weak.” she gave me another cup of the glowing antidote then added some of the herbs to the ointment, then applied it to my throat again.
“I... I can't,” I choked out - normal speaking wasn't entirely easy either, but possible.
Zecora nodded. “That seems to do the trick, but I guess you'd better try this when you don't try to force it but when it's irresistible.
“Do you mean...”
“I can leave you in privacy of my hut. Or there is a clearing with a magnificent old oak nearby.”
“So we should...”
“Ah, youth...” she looked dreamily up at the ceiling. “Yes, you should.”
“Youth?” I frowned.
“Youth is when your spirit's fresh, not the years upon your flesh.” she recited in Poni.
Oh, she had a point, definitely. I was feeling young.
“We won't impose.” Nadir bowed, grinning.
“Or risk damages to your home.” I added with a grin. “Which way to that oak?”
* * *
The gloomy forest was sending shivers down my spine. Terrible magic, deadly destruction, death and corruption twisted the once beautiful gardens, orchards and meadows of Everfree. The memories were painful. Gnarled trees and tangled vines carried the suffering of the ages. As if sensing my feelings, Nadir nudged my wing, and I lifted it, embracing him. Greed for power, influence, wealth... all at cost of life, sanity and sentience. Undead, twisted and insane feral monsters were all that was left of the former masters of Everfree.
The trees were less dense as we climbed a hill. Smaller creatures were scuttling away into the darkness escaping the ring of light surrounding my horn.
“How did it look in the ancient times? Before it became a place of fear?”
“Serene. Peaceful. Orderly. It looked like... like...” I suddenly stood amazed as we passed the last curtain of ivy. “...like this!”
We stood on the edge of a clearing with a mighty, enormous oak growing in the middle. Shining flowers glowed in the moonlight all around, and low shrubs formed hedges bordering orderly paths between flowerbeds filled with flowers and herbs, now dark at night but still filling the air with wonderful aroma. It was still weeks until Winter Wrap-up, but this place enjoyed a mild, almost warm early spring night.
“So this is her secret garden,” Nadir sighed, as we moved on, up towards the oak. “It saddens me when zebras of such talent escape my land because I can't give them safe homes. Every time I see a mighty creation of my people in a foreign land, it's a testament to my incompetence.”
“You're currently doing better than the mightiest of your ancestors. And you will keep doing better. We both will.”
“But will it ever be enough? Will my lifespan be enough to fix errors that stood for centuries?”
“That's why you will need a worthy heir.”
“Oh, Celestia!” He leaned into me, shuddering, and I held him tightly with my wing. Only after a moment I recognized the motion that shook his body... he was laughing!
“What?” I asked.
“Grandpa always taught us that royal duties are not supposed to be fun.”
“That would be inexcusable!”
“I always imagine my stern brother making love to his beautiful wife in an entirely orderly, organized and serious manner. Unpleasant Royal Duty!”
I didn't laugh this time.
“Oh,” He realized. “Oh. I'm sorry.”
I held him with my wing tighter.
“That was just a stupid joke. Zorana is a smart filly and they... they may not love each other, but they are definitely friends. He cares about her. He would not hurt her.”
“I know.” I nuzzled his mane.
“How?”
“You respect him.”
He thought for a while, then nodded.
We arrived at a grassy square under the oak. Only now we could see how huge it was. The moon was shining brightly, waxing crescent on the starry sky. Luna made the night beautiful for us.
There was an ancient, weathered stone bench facing the tree. It stirred memories.
I stood behind the bench and shone light from my horn upon the surface on its back. Moss and scratches obscured a sign scratched in the ancient stone.
C&L
SBFF
The memories flooded in. How I dug the hole with my hoof. How Luna dropped the acorn in, I poured water from the watering can, and she covered it with soil. Then we stomped the soil packing it tightly. Then we lay by the patch of fresh soil and together we infused it with our newly-learned, still weak spells of protection and fertility.
I turned my head to the oak and raised my head high, looking through the enormous branches tangled over our heads.
“It's ancient,” whispered Nadir. “It's... I'm just a dust mote compared to it.”
“No, you're not. Come, walk up to it.”
We approached.
“This crack here, running from its roots up, sealed and healed. That branch on the other side, it would break off, exposing the fragile insides to vermin, but it’s trimmed and fixed. There, a trace of disease healed. Here, a place after mistletoe that drained its life juices for a time, now uprooted. This tree lasted over four thousands years only thanks to ponies occasionally taking care of it. A certain zebra has assured it will grow healthy for another few centuries past her death. She's not a dust mote in the life of this tree, she's its life and sustenance.”
Nadir dug in the grass with his hoof, then picked up something - an acorn - and put it in his sash.
“My palace yard could use a tree like this one,” he smiled.
“Then plant it,” I smiled and bumped his back with my rump playfully.
He nickered softly and hid his head under my wing.
“If Light was correct...” he muttered and suddenly I squealed a bit as his gentle lick landed on the sensitive joint between my wing and my chest. A bit of getting used to and the sensation became very pleasant. I stood, frozen in delight.
“I love how your body responds to it. Stretch that wing and I'll try preening your pinions.”
“That's no use. Only winged ponies have the right glands in their mouths for that. You'll just make a mess of them,” I smiled. “My turn to be the giver. You lay down and try to teach me giving backrubs.”
“All right,” he lay in the young grass. I removed my hoof-overs and rested my hooves on his back.
“Harder. Put some weight to it,” he instructed as I began “trampling” his spine. “You need to be softer with other creatures, but equine spine is so hard you need to put on some real pressure.”
I shifted my weight and let my front push harder. He nickered approvingly, guiding my motions. Neck, shoulders, haunches, back. He went “oh yesyesyesyesyes” as I massaged the part of spine just above his tail. “Praised be Celestia, the blessing of my life!” He shouted out as I pressed harder.
“Let me try like this...” I lit my horn with a telekinetic spell, sending it in ripples and waves over his body, pinching his skin and making it roll in smooth waves.
“Cheater,” he muttered, but his expression definitely stated “don't stop.”
I nudged him to lay on his side. He shrugged the sash off his shoulder, then lay flat, stretched. I ran the telekinetic ripples through his chest and abdomen, making sure to give his maleness a special, gentle attention. Soon it stood in its full glory and he had to stop me.
“Celestia, my blessing and salvation, I know you love giving me pleasure selflessly and you did convince me you still enjoy it even if I'm the only one to come,” he smiled mischievously, “but we're here for a reason, and that reason is to make. You. Scream.”
I recalled how we'd excuse ourselves from a meeting with officials to “discuss the matter in privacy” where I'd give him a quick blowjob in a locked office - just to relieve stress for both of us. And no more problems with him all sticky. After two or three times I learned to actually enjoy swallowing, the taste was still slightly worse than neutral, but the act was a big turn-on for both of us. A quick scent-neutralizing spell and we'd be back to the negotiations, more assertive and bold than before. He promised when my voice problem is taken care of he'd return the favor. For all these times...
It made me moist. I straddled him and lowered my back, guiding his tip in, aiding myself with telekinesis. No reservations, no fears, no hesitation. It wasn't sex that repulsed me, it was my failure of a husband ages ago. I let my labia throb and rub the tip before opening up and letting him in, then I lowered myself, feeling as if I was swallowing him hungrily, fulfilling a burning need.
“I love watching your face as you take me in,” he said. “As if you were opening a Hearths Warming feed bag. That exhilaration, that disbelief...”
“I still can't believe my luck.” I rocked my hips a little. “First Luna returns, then you appear in my life.”
“Sometimes I question the wisdom of ponykind,” he murmured. “Just look at yourself. Such a girl. Smart. Pretty. Available. And nopony asked her to be his special somepony!”
“You did!”
“Only after you've beaten sense into my head and nearly got killed in the process!”
“Damaged goods,” I shrugged.
He frowned, held me and rolled on top of me, with me impaled on him.
“Damaged goods my stripped ass,” he pushed deeper. “Ready?”
“Yes.” I clenched my teeth. He thrust and I yelped through the short spike of pain.
“I keep telling you, relax and it won't hurt. And you keep tensing up,” he nuzzled my neck, brushing my mane with his fetlocks, holding me tenderly as I was getting used to the sensation.
“I don't mind it the least bit.”
“Don't play tough on me. It's not healthy. You're going to get yourself hurt.”
“The pain is actually quite welcome. I want to feel most of it while I still can.”
He frowned, with a question in his eyes.
“We'll have to switch to the boring, modern way once I'm pregnant.”
“Oh, that! By then I hope you'll be comfortable with me enough...” he smiled, while rubbing his tip along my womb, making me gasp hard. “...that you will let me put it all the way in...” Oh the feeling! I'm about... about to... “...to the hilt in your pooper.”
Imagining this suddenly made me clench my sphincter, tense my muscles all the way in, and then he pulled! The orgasm exploded suddenly, and I cried out, struck like with a hammer. Quick, rapid thrusts, sending me into throes of ecstasy, he wasn't going slowly, keeping me on the top for long as usual, he was forcing me to scream at the top of my lungs with mind-numbing ecstasy. The pain of his rapid thrusts was only adding to the feeling, and when he came, I was crying, blinded by power of the feeling.
And then his mouth silenced me and I felt the kiss, and suddenly the mad pleasure of the body turned into wonderfully soothing happiness of the soul.
We remained in the kiss while I was feeling his throbs and spurts inside me fading slowly.
We broke the kiss, but I was still enjoying him filling me. Zebras were known to last longer than ponies, and produce more semen too, and he definitely could give my afterglow some extra filling.
“Did it work?” I asked.
“I still have my head on my neck, don't I?” he smiled.
“I recall I was screaming...”
“Yes, you scared a bunch of birds. It was pretty loud, but nothing a noise ward won't stop. And no damage to the landscape.”
“Oh, that's good.”
He raised his hoof towards the woods, waved to an unknown party. “It works! Thanks!” he shouted.
“What?” I asked. “Who are you waving at?”
“Zecora, who else?”
“She was here?!”
“From the beginning. And she definitely enjoyed the show, if you know what I mean. She must be getting lonely here. I should send Zephyr her way.”
“Are all Zebras perverts?!”
“Storm isn't. But he's special.”
Then I did a double take.
“Wait. In my pooper?”
* * *
“But you said you're not into colts.”
“Yes, but I never said I don't like my prostate stimulated.”
We were laying on some pillows in our room at the town hall, and I was staring at the contents of the long box in front of me, blushing.
“This looks like you like to have your spleen stimulated too.”
“Turnabout is only fair play. I'm not sticking into you anything bigger than I'm willing to take myself.”
I levitated the huge strap-on dildo out of the box and lay it along his flank, with the set of straps behind his back. The tip was reaching well past the lowest of his ribs.
“I can't imagine how you even plan to fit that thing. It seems like it reaches past the diaphragm.”
“Look, Zephyr is about the same size as me. And...”
“Stop, stop, stop. I don't want to hear about it. I can't even believe we're discussing this! I'm a princess for goodness sake! There are things a princess should not do, no matter what!”
“It's really nothing bad. Look!” He gave the enormous dildo a long lick, then suckled at the tip.
“Nadir, it's one thing when a mare does it...”
“You're not going to do it in the name of love?” he gave me his best puppy eyes.
“Don't you dare go mixing this with matters of love!”
“Celestia, I need to be all the way in to come. And it's going to be almost a year. Normally I'd find a lusty maid, but I'm going to remain faithful to you.”
I looked into his deep, beautiful eyes, into that solemn, begging face.
“There is no way I'm sticking this into you. Get something that's reasonably sized and I'll try it,” I sighed, feeling the blush slowly reaching my ears. “But I swear if anypony catches me wearing it, you're dead.”
“So you'd really would wear a strap-on and pound me in my ass?”
“I'm not comfortable with it but I would,” I thought I'd burn up.
“GOTCHA!” he jumped, tackled me to the floor and laughed at my confusion. “Remember the first night? When I wanted to kill myself from embarrassment?” He grinned toothily. “Turnabout is fair play!”
“Wait, you don't...”
“Celestia,” He smiled gently. “I'd never make you do anything you're not comfortable with. But pranks are exempt from this rule. That disbelief on your face... Poor Zephyr, unable to see his mastermind plan coming to fruition!”
I rolled onto him, keeping him squashed under my belly. At first I wanted to be angry, but I could not. I rolled off him and lay, laughing. We laughed for a good while until I caught my breath.
“Nadir, you rude ruffian! I'm going to take it on and pound you in the ass till I pound such ideas out of your head!”
“Watch it, cotton candy head! I might like it!”
* * *
...And again, a torment. I wanted to pounce him and hug and hold close, but I had to play cold and relieved.
“Farewell, Prince Nadir.” I said faking cold of my voice.
“Farewell, Princess Celestia” he gave me a toothy grin. Others would see it as a cynical smirk, me... He was cheering me up. “Allow me to extend an official invitation to Entwine.”
“Thank you. I will use it. Expect an official letter soon.”
Yeah, not a farewell. Just a “See you later.”
Zephyr and Storm bowed to me. Zephyr's brush of a mane was not striped but a bright, smooth rainbow. I didn't ask, but it was supposedly Rainbow Dash's work. Storm wore a hat, similar to that of Applejack. I wondered what prank found him, supposedly no pony went without getting pranked, and the town was momentarily encompassed by a wave of panic as Pinkie made walnut-sized balls of cotton candy and Twilight enchanted them to float in the air - the memory of recent invasion of parasprites still fresh, and the sight of foals swallowing the flying motes quite a shock to elder ponies.
But now the visit was over, and the zebras turned away and walked the narrow, twisty, little used road across the border of Hippotigria to a carriage already waiting for them, Soon the carriage vanished in the distance.
I thought about our last conversation in privacy of the royal carriage. It took Nadir a long while to gather the courage to ask.
“Celestia, I... For a time, I thought we could just exist for each other. Keep the politics at bay. Be lovers and friends, and company to each other. But after meeting Zecora one of reasons why I wished to marry you hit me harder than ever before: What I saw in Equestria; a land of peace, friendship, trust, honesty. It’s a place where ponies want to live, not one they want to escape. Back when you joked about emigration to Prance, I covered it with arrogance, but it really hurt. It’s not for love of prench cuisine why Zebras leave their homes.
Teach me to be a wise ruler. Teach me to make my country flourish as Equestria does.
I know what you want to say, that Equestria is not just sunshine and rainbows. Trust me, Equestria is a paradise compared to Hippotigria. We’re doing whatever we can, me and Zenith, but there are ones who try to destroy whatever we create just to spite us. There are ones who prefer injustice and poverty because it makes them more influential. Ones who hate change so much that they shun any improvements. Enemies who see us as prey. And we’re not smart, competent, strong enough, to oppose them. Help me, Celestia. Help my people.”
These weren’t cute puppy eyes. I saw real pain. When I begged never to be alone again, he never hesitated. So now I could only repay in kind.
“I don’t know if I can help, but I’ll do what I can. I can’t even promise what you promised me, that I won’t make things worse, but I’ll try my best.”
He hugged me, and I felt him cry into my bosom. “Thank you, Celestia.”
So, if I’m to help Nadir, I will have to learn more about Zebras. Next stop: Entwine.
But for now, back to the empty castle...
Well, empty'ish...