//------------------------------// // Chapter Four: Kitchen Criminals // Story: Desserters // by The Iguana Man //------------------------------// Of course, Twist's anxieties weren't gone forever... "I'm thorry again,” the red-haired filly said as she and Truffle made their way to the centre of the area. "And again, it's fine, Gumdrop,” he assured her. ...but they certainly weren't as severe. Still, she did sigh. “I jutht withh I'd kept an eye on the time. I mean, I only intended to make thomething quick to calm down tho we could keep going round. But, well, you know how carried away I can get, and I gueth Mithter Prithe ith the thame.” Truffle rolled his eyes with a smile. “Yes, I do know that. You think I wouldn't have watched the time if I really cared? If it mattered, I'd have told you.” Twist thought for a moment before nodding. “Yeah, I th'pothe. Actually, you didn't have to thtick around at all... not that I didn't like having you there!” she amended in a half-panic before a thick hoof on her shoulder brought her down again. “I jutht meant I wouldn't have minded if you'd gone to look around and get thome more thtuff. I mean, between Mithter Prithe and the guard, I was thafe, tho you wouldn't need to worry about me.” Truffle shrugged. “Maybe, but I still wasn't going to do it. Just wouldn't be the same taking in the sight and smells without you there. And, really, what else was I going to do out here?” There was a moment's pause as Twist considered and hit upon the obvious answer that, it seemed, both had forgotten about. “Um, help find whoever tried to athathinat... athath... to kill Gustave Le Grand?” "Nah, the guard have got that handled, seems to me.” Truffle gestured up above them to where a small formation of armoured pegasi were heading in the same direction they were. “Plus, finding the bad guys isn't exactly my strong suit.” He paused for a second before chuckling. “Even when I'm wearing my strong suit. Besides, even if I could, it still wouldn't happen. I mean, sure, maybe they might like some help tracking down someone who tried to bomb a public event and kill someone famous... but on the other hoof, you needed someone to lick the bowl for you. Really, that's not even a choice.” Twist giggled at both his words and the easy sincerity to them. It wasn't technically a need, but being able to see her cooking make somepony happy before it was even finished did her motivation and feeling of self-worth immeasurable good... and that somepony being her coltfriend made it orders of magnitude better. "Besides,” Truffle continued, “I still wanted to be there... and not just for the bowl either. You know how much I love watching you work. Plus, being able to see a legend in a situation like that and watching how you and him got on... that was worth it on its own. I mean... I wouldn't say it was un-creepy hearing him talk about food, but it was still nice.” Twist hummed in consideration before shaking her head. “I thtill think you're jutht letting your... what'th the word... prejudithe? ...get to you. I don't think hith voithe ith that creepy if you aren't looking at him like it ith, if that maketh thenthe. It jutht thoundth... really thophithticated, ith all.” "Hm, maybe,” Truffle said, unconvinced but clearly open to the possibility. “Either way, it was worth it to see the really interesting guy underneath it all.” After a moment, he chuckled. “Can't wait to tell the rest of the movie club I met him. Scootaloo'll probably hit the roof... maybe literally. Though I'll probably leave out how he was almost late in leaving to be a judge at his own event. Which is another reason I wouldn't dream of blaming you for anything.” Twist laughed along with him for a moment, letting herself relax a little. “Thtill,” she said after a little while, “it would have been nithe to thpend a bit more time looking around the event.” "And we still can, don't worry,” Truffle said as the two approached the central area. “It's not like the whole place is shutting down after this. Heck, given how hungry it's likely to make everyone, there'll probably be more places open. But, for now,” he plunged into the crowd, his mass and the certainty of his walk making it easy for him to move through it, as well as leaving a channel for Twist to follow through, “let's get to the 'competition' part of the National Dessert Competition, shall we?” Twist just laughed happily in response as the two came out in front of the crowd, looking over the dozens of ponies standing by numbered tables, all waiting for the judges with levels of confidence ranging from absolute self-assurance to whimpering terror. Of course, it was still early and plenty of ponies were still filing into the area, so the actual judging had only recently started and the judges hadn't reached this area yet. Still, the fact that one of the judges was Princess Celestia meant that none of the contestants and precious few of the audience were able to really forget about their presence. Though, when Twist looked to the side and found the Princess, she did notice she didn't seem too intimidating. In fact, she looked remarkably happy, even though Twist understood this to be one of the few places where ponies weren't expected to bow to her. Then again, being able to actually taste all the desserts on offer, as far as Twist was concerned, should be enough to send anyone over the moon. Or the sun, as the case may be. Still, it was hard to really resent her for it, as the smells were more than enough to satisfy the eager filly. A delicious mix of all kinds of scents, from pasties to puddings to cookies to cakes to cheesecakes to chocolate to sundaes to stollen to tarts to tortes to trifles – all distinct and able to be picked out, but still combining into a whole far greater than the sum of its numerous parts. Twist let out a happy whinny and leaned over on Truffle, feeling his own deep breaths and happy sighs. After a little while, though, she felt him look to the side, past her. “Huh, that's weird.” "Hm?” Twist opened her eyes languidly, still immersed in the wonderful scentscape. "Oh, nothing,” Truffle shrugged slightly, possibly to not disturb her or possibly just because of his own aromatic euphoria. “Just noticed Joe over there. Never seen him look nervous before.” Twist's eyes drifted over towards the large donuteer, indeed seeing a thin sheen of sweat on his forehead and his eyes darting around occasionally. Still, after a moment, she returned the shrug. “Well, I don't know him ath well ath you, but... well, thith ith a nathional event he'th competing in. Pluth he'th being judged by Printheth Thelethtia.” Truffle hummed uncertainly. “Well, I mean, it's not like I know him that well, I've just been to his place a few times when I'm up in Canterlot, but... well, he never seemed all that worried by that kinda thing. Plus, from what I hear, the Princess is a regular customer, so I don't think that'd...” He stopped abruptly when Joe's head twitched to the side and he muttered something, though there was no way to tell what. "And he's definitely not the kind of pony who talks to himself. Weird.” Twist pursed her mouth to the side at the thought before shaking her head, not seeing any way she could figure out what was going on. However, as Princess Celestia and the other judges were just now coming up to his table, she supposed they might soon find out. She leaned forward, looking around the legs of the crowd to see the judges taking small bites from the intricate donut sculpture he'd submitted. After a moment, she heard a high-pitched hum of delight as the Princess smiled and the celestial winds that ran through her tail became rapid and juddering – if Twist didn't know any better, she'd swear her tail was wagging. "Joe, you have surpassed yourself,” Celestia said, her voice carrying over the crowd even at a normal volume. "Indeed,” the even-higher voice of Vignette Price came from behind her, seeming more to slip underneath the crowd than wash over it, “a truly delectable treat!” Twist couldn't help but notice a lot of the crowd shivering in fear from even the sincere compliment, but Joe seemed totally unaffected – his nervousness neither intensified or subsided, torpedoing one of Twist's only theories about why he was so uneasy. Still, despite that, he nodded. “Thanks, Princess. Vignette.” He also nodded to the other judges, thanking them for their approving hums. “So, er... ready to call the contest or er... do you want to see how everyone else loses?” He let out an awkward chuckle, his face making clear that he knew his attempt at joking bravado had fallen flat. Still, Celestia gave him a small, indulgant laugh. “Well, I wouldn't celebrate just yet, there have been some very strong contenders so far and I don't doubt there will be even more coming up. These are wonderful, of course, but you haven't necessarily won y-” Before she could finish, a cry could be heard from the back of the crowd. Before the cry could even get half a second in, though, there was a rush of air Twist could feel from all the way across the crowd. Looking up, she saw something moving incredibly fast towards Joe's head before suddenly bursting, seemingly in mid-air. However, a moment later, it became clear why as a pegasus guard flickered into existence, the invisibility spell that had been hiding her getting knocked out by the impact. She tumbled through the air for a moment as the shards of the projectile fell around her, the largest coming close enough to Twist that she could identify it as the front of some sort of arrow or crossbow bolt. Fortunately, for all involved, the guard was able to get control of her flight before she even came close to any of the dessert tables, though the dent in her armour made clear just how hard the impact had been. However, that didn't stop her from calling out. “They're on top of the admin tent – invisible too!” Twist looked over her shoulder in the direction the guard had pointed, only to find her view totally blocked by the crowd. She stretched herself up onto the tips of her hooves and strained her neck to try and find a way to see past them, but it was no use. That is, until she felt a large mass slip under her barrel before rising up, Truffle easily lifting her up onto her back. He was even able to pick one hoof of the ground while he did it to put under one of her hooves and help her stabilize herself and stand up fully. Between the two of them, she was still only barely able to see past the heads of the assembled ponies, but it was enough to see the many guards rushing towards a large tent in the centre of the area. Not to mention the large corona of magic that was gathering above the central pole of it. "They're about to catht thomething!” she called down to Truffle, unsure if there was anything he could do to help, but feeling obliged to keep him informed anyway. “Thomething big. I don't know what, but it can't be...” Before she could finish, a huge pulse of golden energy surged over the crowd's heads, taller and wider that two ponies combined, but still focused into something resembling a rapidly throbbing beam. Within a second, it smashed into the top of the tent, blasting away the gathering magic like sand in the wind and shattering the invisibility to reveal a unicorn mare. She was holding a crossbow in her forehooves while her hindhooves were wrapped around the tentpole. However, she didn't even have time to react before another golden glow enveloped her and she found herself plucked easily off her perch and pulled rapidly towards the throng of ponies. "Oh, right, of course,” she heard Truffle say with a chuckle, “Princess Celestia's here. Don't think they thought that one through, did they?” Looking behind her, Twist saw that, indeed, the Princess's horn was glowing with that same light, even though it was far more muted than the energy the assassin had apparently needed and Celestia's face showed no real sign of effort. Sighing in relief, Twist lowered herself, putting her belly onto Truffle's back before clambering down awkwardly, though he never once showed any sign of discomfort from it. Once she had her hooves back on the ground, the two looked at each other, silently checking to make sure they shared the same curiosity before nodding in unison and making their way over to where the assassin was floating helplessly. As they approached, Twist heard a familiar voice. “...o when we learned Monsiuer Joe 'ad given 'is spot to Gustave and made 'is entry in the privacy, the answer became clear – put a show of proteccion around Gustave to made the assassin think we still thought 'im the target, while keeping the real force 'idden and ready to intercept the real strike.” "An ingenious stratagem, Monsieur Poisson,” Price replied sincerely. “Tous mes compliments.” Poisson gave a non-commital hum. “In all honesty, it was not much of a challenge, but I thank you nonetheless.” As Twist and Truffle finally made their way past the gathering crowd, they saw Celestia give a regal smile. “I'm just happy the danger has passed. Though I would like to know why you decided to kill one of my little ponies,” she said, looking over at the captive unicorn. Before she could answer, though, another voice came from the side. “That's what I'd like to know, too!” Joe said as he marched towards the helpless mare. “Just who the heck are you anywa-” He stopped abruptly when he saw her face, pausing for a moment before starting to gasp loudly... only to stop the gasp halfway through as his face fell into a confused frown. “Wait, do... do I know you?” The mare gaped at Joe's question for a second before growling, her mauve fur bristling. “Know me? Know me?! Oh, of course... of course you don't! Why in Equestria would you ever need to remember the mare whose life you ruined?!” “Ruined? Wait, I'm sure know that voice,” Joe stared at his would-be assassin for a moment, a searching look in his eyes. “Is that... Is that you, Needle Point?” “You know this mare, I take it?” Poisson asked. Joe shook his head. “Wouldn't say that, but I used to. Haven't seen her since we were kids back in Manehattan. Sure don't remember doin' anythin' that'd ruin her life.” Needle Point scoffed. “Oh, of course you don't. I'll bet it was just one of the many times you've stitched your friends up. Why would you remember... the crullers?” “Crullers?” Joe's lips pressed together in thought. “Wait, that does sound... er...” “Let me refresh your oh-so-conveniently-inadequate memory. When I told you I was getting together a sewing circle at school, you said... you promised you'd make me some crullers for the first meeting. You let me believe that, let me talk them up whenever I saw any other members, let me tell them they should prepare their taste buds for the best snacks they'd ever eaten and then, the night before that meeting,” she took in a deep, strenuous breath, as if to force her bile back down her throat, “you... welched!” By now, Joe's face had lost its confusion as he seemingly remembered what she was talking about. However, at that last word, he reeled back in shock. “Welched?! We were in elementary school!” “Well, what else do you call it when someone just decides not to do what they said. No reason, no real apology, just 'Sorry, something came up, have fun getting humiliated in front of the only people who could maybe become your friends! Oh, and after you tell them next week for sure, I'll just make some excuse about health so I can move all the way across the country and leave you alone for the rest of your life.' What else would you call that?” “Excuse?!” Joe snapped. “Needle, my ma had a stroke! Of course I didn't have time for something like that! And she was literally told by the doctor she needed to move and it's not like I could say no!” “Wha...?” Needle squinted, her face shifting rapidly as the conflict between this information and her built-up hatred raged for a second. However, she then sneered and scoffed once more. “Oh, yeah, sure she did! Not like you've had decades to come up with some excuse or anything!” She snorted before looking away. “Not like it'd matter anyway – I'm sure you'd delay things at least half a year and by that time, they'd already kicked me out of my own club thanks to letting them down... even if they didn't have the guts to say that was why...” “If I may guess,” Poisson interjected, “they said you must leave because you were being sullen and 'ostile?” Needle rolled her eyes. “Not those exact words, but duh! Obviously! That's what ponies always say when they reject you.” Joe rubbed his forehead, his confusion giving way to irritation. “Look, Needle, I'm sorry about what happened to you, really, I am, but...” “Oh, spare me!” Needle interrupted with a glare. “I may have no job, no friends, no future... but the one thing I can do without is some hollow apology from the pony who destroyed me. Just...” she looked to the side at the guards surrounding her, “let's just get this over with – take me away to... whatever you're gonna do. I don't even care anymore.” As the Princess's telekinesis deposited the mare into the waiting hooves and cuffs of the guards, she just seemed to lose all her energy, barely moving as she was secured and, once she was placed across one guard's back, just flopping down like a boneless fish. “Wait,” Joe said suddenly, tilting his head a little. “Just one thing I don't get: why'd you put the bomb in the oven? I never bake donuts, they're always better fried!” Needle Point started to sneer again before stopping, her anger giving way to pure confusion. “You don't? But they're so much healthier done in the oven!” “Healthy?! They're donuts! They've not...” Joe sighed, shaking his head. “You truly have lost your way.” And with that, he nodded at the guards, indicating he was done, and they took her away without a further word. Once they left, the crowd also began to disperse – it was clear the show, if it could even be called that, was over and all that was left was to go back to where they were and discuss it. However, Twist didn't move, instead just looking out in the direction the guards had gone. “Wow, that...” she heard Joe say from her other side. “I mean, I feel bad she ended up like that, but... gotta be honest, that was the most pathetic reason to try an' kill somepony I ever heard!” “Yes, it does not 'ave much in the way of the dignity,” Poisson commented idly, “but it is not an unknown way to react. When one allows a grudge to fester and feed for long enough, the smallest of the things can start to seem monumental. And it is all too easy to get caught up in the vicious cycle of antisocial behaviour due to rejection and rejection due to antisocial behaviour. Yes, it is pitiful... but also in the true sense: to be pitied. For, though an incredible failing, it is a most equine and mortal failing to 'ave.” “If it helps,” Princess Celestia spoke up, having remained silent throughout the whole exchange, “while she will, of course, need to go to prision, I have every confidence the psychologists there will be able to help her out of this... terrible pit she's dug herself into. It will take considerable time and effort, but I sincerely doubt she is beyond redemption.” Joe nodded. “Yeah, that... that actually does help a lot, Princess. Thanks,” he trotted up into Twist's field of view, looking in same direction after his ex-friend, and nodded firmly, silently wishing her luck. A moment later, though, he turned away and stood up straighter than he had since she'd first seen him. “Well, then, let's get back to the show. I got me a competition to win!” He trotted off with everyone else, leaving the area as quiet as it could be while still close to the main crowd. After a few seconds, Twist felt a hoof on her shoulder. “You okay there, Gumdrop?” Blinking herself back into the moment, Twist looked around at Truffle's tender eyes and smiled. “Yeah, I... I wath jutht thinking... I think there'th thomething I need to do.” Truffle nodded. “Anything I can help with?” “Only by being there with me,” Twist shook her head, her smile remaining just as bright, “and that'll be enough, believe me. Bethideth, I'm not gonna do it right now... but I'm not gonna put it off anymore either, so here'th what I'm thinking: we go back and watch the thhow, then go round and make up for lotht thhopping time until the thtallth clothe and then... then I go and talk to thomepony.” Truffle grinned and put a hoof around her shoulders as they began walking back towards the centre of the area. “Sounds like a good plan to me.”