With twenty minutes to work with, Sunset had just enough time to grab milkshakes from Sugar Cube Corner and make it in time to watch Twilight step out of the statue’s base. They didn’t say anything at first, didn’t even greet each other. Sunset just handed Twilight her vanilla shake and they both sat on the stairs leading up to Canterlot High, each of them sipping silently.
Sunset got through half of her shake before Twilight finally spoke. “So, Rainbow Dash huh?”
“Yep.” Sunset had a million questions running through her head, but could only manage that one word. This was already so awkward and she was sure that anything she said would only make it worse.
Twilight seemed to be stuck in her head too. She had that scrunched up look she’d often get when she’d been trying to write the musical counterspell during the whole battle of the bands fiasco. Sunset couldn’t help but smile at it. She’d missed the princess, and more than that, was grateful she was taking this so seriously.
She rose out of her thinking haze suddenly, back straightening and voice taking on a strict, teacher-like tone. The voice she usually used when lecturing someone. Sunset remembered it vividly from her first encounter with Twilight. “So!” She raised a hand and a finger along with it. What was this? Super lecture mode? “I do have some experience with friendships… uh developing like this. Into romantic relationships. You’d still do better talking to Cadance of course but I’ll-“
“Wait, you do?” Sunset cringed into herself. One of her most insistently poking questions burst out of her. “Please tell me you aren’t dating your Rainbow Dash and this isn’t… super awkward.”
Twilight gaped for a second, rapid blinking completing the dumbfounded look. “Rainbow Dash and me?” She recoiled a little where she sat. “Inconceivable really. We’re great friends but I think our way of communicating wouldn’t work in a romantic context.” She finally seemed to relax a little and Sunset watched a blush creep up her face. “No uh… Rarity and I haven’t told many ponies but… we’ve been together for about a month now? Really only you and Fluttershy know. She… noticed before anyone else did and I’m only telling you because well, it’s rather pertinent to this situation.”
“You haven‘t told any of your other friends?”
Twilight shrunk into herself, looking guilty now, suddenly finding the straw of her milkshake very interesting. “I want to, of course. Rarity told me she wants to as well. It’s just... complicated.”
Sunset‘s face twisted up in confusion. “I haven’t been to Equestria in a bit, but last time I checked ponies were pretty comfortable with the whole same sex relationship idea. More than here anyway.”
“It’s nothing like that.” Twilight leaned back on the stair behind her, propping herself up with both her elbows, and tilting her head toward the blue early summer sky. “If I were still just Celestia’s student it wouldn’t matter. Maybe I’d get a few questions, but Rarity and I would just be two mares who happen to be in a relationship. Nopony would bat an eye. But now that I’m a princess…” She lifted her shake to her mouth and drank for a moment, then two, before letting it drop from her lips.
“Well, there are some ponies, I won’t name names, who already question how much preferential treatment I should be giving my friends. Rainbow got into the Wonderbolts a little while ago and there were stories made up about me using my influence to get her in faster. Somepony even said she would have never had the flight skills to get in by herself if I hadn’t ‘helped’ her! Which is just! Rainbow became a Wonderbolt entirely on her own merits. I helped her study I guess, but all of the recruitment tests are either skill based or involve publicly available information. More than that, you know who taught me how to fly when I became an alicorn?” She waved her drink around as she spoke, using it to emphasize certain exclamations.
“Rainbow Dash?” Sunset said mildly. The answer was a little obvious but she wasn’t about to interrupt a ranting Twilight.
“That’s right. Rainbow Dash. And she’s just a friend. I don’t know what ponies will say when they find out about Rarity and me. She doesn’t either. All her sewing skills, networking, and business sense have gotten her so far. I don’t want to steal credit from her like that.” She seemed to relax a little after getting that off her chest. “And while I know my friends wouldn’t run to the papers or anything, everypony makes mistakes. Says something to the wrong pony. Or just can’t keep a secret when asked directly. What kind of friend would I be if I asked them to lie for me anyway?”
Sunset frowned. She couldn’t really imagine dealing with all that pressure, all those eyes on her, and having that spread to her closest friends too. She didn’t envy Twilight’s crown.
That thought made her freeze, then let out a weird sort of half snort.
“Huh?” Twilight looked over at her. “Are you… laughing?” She sounded shocked and maybe even a little hurt.
“Sorry! Sorry!” Sunset half said, half giggled. “Not at you. It’s just. Just…” She covered up another chuckle, and stuffed down the amusement until she could explain. “I… when I was Celestia’s student all I wanted was to be a princess. I yearned for it, strived for it. The six or so months before I stumbled into this world it was all I could think about. I was obsessed. But now… sorry, but it kind of sounds like it sucks?”
Twilight looked aghast at first, like she couldn’t believe Sunset would even say that, then she relaxed and smiled. “It’s not all bad, but yeah, this one part? Does suck.”
Sunset smiled back, looking hopefully more sympathetic than amused now. “I’m sorry Twi. But hey you’ve still got great friends to support you. And… a marefriend now too, right?” Sunset nudged her a bit with an elbow.
Twilight blushed, but her laughter made it clear she didn’t mind the ribbing. “Yeah, Rarity’s been amazing. She always knows how to say the right thing and pull me back down when I start to spiral. I don’t really know where I’d be without her. She definitely makes what might come in the future worth it, even if it’s bad or invasive.”
“Well, I know this world’s Rarity, and if they're as alike as you say then you’re a lucky mare Twilight.” Sunset nudged her gently again, and this time when Twilight smiled back there was no hint of blush, no hint of embarrassment.
“Yeah. I really am.”
Sunset was caught off guard by that smile, by the shimmering brightness of it. There was something that throbbed in her chest, some twitch of something old finally being let go. Twilight was happy, beautifully so, and that was amazing.
“So, Rainbow Dash.” Twilight said with a bit of her princessly authority. Whatever part of Sunset’s heart that had just collapsed into defeated relief shifted, revealing a new, strange, flickering ember.
“Rainbow Dash.” Sunset sighed.
“How… was she?” Twilight ventured cautiously.
“A-Are you curious?” Sunset stuttered out, cheeks heating up. She hadn’t expected such forwardness. Not from Twilight.
“N-no! I mean yes? Not like that though! I’m very happy with Rarity, she really knows what— Well… I mean… ugh! My point was, how…” Twlight grasped at the air in front of her like it would magically produce the word she was looking for. “How were… how did she make you feel? Did you have fun? Did you feel good? Or were you bored? Was there… anything… there?” Twilight had lost all of her authoritative tone and just looked frazzled now.
“Oh. Right.” Sunset said simply. “I don’t remember.”
“You don’t… remember?”
“I was drunk. She was too.”
Twilight stared at her for several moments. “I thought humans weren’t allowed to drink here until they’d turned twenty-one.”
Sunset didn’t say anything, just gave her a look.
“I see.” Twilight steepled her hands together. “And you got so drunk while drinking illegally that you do not remember what you did last night?”
“Correct. Before Pinkie said anything we weren’t even sure we uh… did… that.” Sunset answered lamely.
Twilight rubbed the bridge of her nose. “Honestly I think what we should do first is have a conversation about responsibility but considering we’re past that…”
“And that I didn’t ask you here to tell me to drink responsibly?” Sunset said with a smirk.
Twilight glared at her for a moment.
“You drank at this little get together too. Well not you. The other you.”
Twilight looked absolutely horrified, eyes wide and mouth agape. “She did not!”
Sunset nodded through a fit of giggles, then her hands as she tried to stifle the laughter.
Apparently sensing a losing battle, Twilight shook her head, sighed, and asked, “So you don’t remember, but how about now? What are your thoughts on last night? Not actual events but the fact that it happened at all.”
Sunset’s smirk dropped into a confused frown. “I mean… does that even matter?”
Twilight’s eyes widened. She blinked once, then twice. “What do you mean does that even matter? Of course it matters!” She spluttered. “Your feelings and thoughts are what will determine how you proceed and how you want your relationship with Rainbow Dash to change or stay the same. That and the key to any relationship, friendship or otherwise, is communication. If you don’t care to know how you feel, how can you communicate with Rainbow?”
“I…” Sunset slumped, resting her chin on her knees and hugging her legs with both arms. “I understand that, I do but… I don’t know the first thing about relationships Twilight. The only guy I’ve ever dated was a tool to me. A means to an end. The last person I loved sent me away because I ruined our relationship so much it couldn’t be repaired. I want… I called you here to get advice on how not to let this ruin everything. Again. I just…” Sunset gripped the sleeves of her leather biker jacket. “I don’t need her to love me. I just want her to not hate me. How do I do that?”
Twilight slumped too. “Sunset…”
That sad, cloying voice made Sunset want to huddle up even more. She didn’t want Twilight’s pity, Twilight’s care, especially now that she knew it wasn’t really hers to take. She wanted to hide inside her spiky impenetrable walls long enough so she could calculate how badly she’d fucked up and fix it logically.
Twilight didn’t say anything. She just reached over and touched Sunset’s shoulder. Sunset turned slowly and saw carefully measured comfort in the princess’ eyes. She watched Twilight’s small smile, felt her sure grip.
She wanted so badly to clamp shut, cut the tether, the hand gripping her, off. But she knew that was how she’d ended up bitter and angry before. She’d stubbornly gone it alone, trudging forward no matter how much she needed a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen. So she let her shoulders drop, let her crossed arms open. “I’m… I’m scared. I’m scared I’ll hurt her. Scared I already have.”
Twilight sighed heavily again and shook her head. “You know you’re not that person anymore.”
“I know but— But sometimes it feels so easy to slip back. Someone says something that makes me angry and my first response is lash out. To yell. To hurt. I have to step back and… rewire myself to not just blow up.” She gripped the concrete stairs, doing her best to not just close in and up again. “It’s easier with the girls, they’re so nice, forgiving, but even they snap sometimes and I have to try so hard to not snap back.”
“And that’s the difference, Sunset. That’s what changed. Do you think you would have hesitated before? Do you think you would have cared?” Twilight grabbed her other shoulder, applying light pressure until they were staring each other in the eyes. “Friends fight. AJ and Rarity bicker all the time. Sometimes Dash doesn’t take Fluttershy’s feelings into account. Pinkie is too much for me every once in a while. It happens. It doesn’t make us bad friends or bad ponies.”
“And… marefriends?”
Twilight grinned and nodded, amusement dancing in her eyes. Then she pulled her hands away before launching into a story, switching her princessly lecture voice back on as she did. “Years ago, before I became a princess, Rarity made us all dresses for the grand galloping gala.”
Sunset hadn’t heard about the gala in years, but remembered it vaguely from the time she was Celestia’s student. She always thought it was too stuffy, full of ponies who only cared about money and social status. Not important things. Like magic and power.
“They were all gorgeous of course. Rarity’s only gotten better over time but she’s always been a fashion genius. All of us had our… own ideas about what made a good dress though. I wanted an accurate star map on the skirt because back then I was… very persnickety about accuracy, about how important that was. I still enjoy when things are perfectly in place, perfectly correct, but I know now that a friend’s happiness is more important than things being just so. Rarity was different back then too, not as confident in her design sense and desperate to make us all happy. So she followed our crazy instructions, making change after change to our gowns and when it was all said and done… she almost got booted from the fashion scene when she showed our designs off.” Twilight said the last part in a rush, cringing slightly.
Sunset gasped. She didn’t know pony Rarity, but her world’s Rarity was always looking for opportunities to get her foot in the door as a fashion designer. Apprenticeships, projects, even small boutique jobs. If Rarity was black booked or something, Sunset couldn’t even imagine how much that would hurt her.
“It was a long time ago and it all worked out in the end.” Twilight continued quickly when she saw Sunset’s wide eyes. “She never held it against us either, but… well… having an accurate, portable star map is really useful.” Twilight was playing with her straw again.
“You kept it?” Sunset exclaimed.
“Yes, I kept it! Do you know how much getting a perfectly accurate star map costs? Let alone doing it in fabric? I couldn’t just throw it away, especially when my friend turned marefriend made it for me. I get it now of course, but at the time it seemed harmless. Honestly, the obvious choice to me was to keep it.”
Sunset slowly absorbed that, lips pursed. “Soooo… she found out… when exactly?” Twilight wasn’t avoiding her marefriend as they spoke, was she?
“Last week. She was pretty upset, asked me to throw it away, said she had never wanted to see it again. Gave me the silent treatment when I explained how much getting something like it would cost, how valuable it was. After that I took the time to think it through and I gained the understanding I’d been lacking. I’m not an artist, but I can understand not wanting to look at your previous work. I thought I was so magically astute when I was younger. I didn’t boast but I knew I was good. Now those spells seem like foal’s play.” Twilight smiled a little at some unknown memory. “I almost got rid of it. It was worth a lot of bits, but not her being angry and hurt. Before I could, Rarity… decided to stop sulking? No, that sounds mean. She’d thought it over too. Was still… grumpy, but she realized something I didn’t even see.”
“And that was?”
“It was the first thing she ever made for me.” Twilight smiled softly, her eyes looked a little wet. “More than that it was, well… me. A completely accurate star map skirt with a royal flowing train? She said there was nothing in existence that was more Twilight Sparkle. It became… sentimental because of our love. A little piece of our history. We compromised on it too. I could keep it, could use it, could even display it in the castle’s astronomy tower, so long as no one ever knew she’d made it.”
Sunset burst out laughing, then quickly covered her mouth. “Sorry sorry!”
“No, you're fine. I thought it was kind of funny too. I mean I agreed! Of course. Because why wouldn’t I? But she was so insistent, so grumbly about it. It was cute. We ended up putting it up together in the tower and I showed her the stars that night. She loved that, the hopeless romantic.”
“Awww that’s… tooth rotting kinds of sweet.” Sunset smiled at the image Twilight’s words and smile conjured in her mind. Then she frowned a little. “But that… was just a dress right? I mean it can’t all be that easy.”
Twilight shrugged. “I guess so, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t hurt her feelings, Sunset. She was so mortified, so upset when she first found the thing. But in the end we talked, we compromised, and came out the other end better for it. Stronger for it, both individually and together.”
Sunset rubbed at her leather sleeves, played with the little strings that were fraying at the stitched shoulder seams. Twilight didn’t touch her this time. Just asked gently, “Sunset. Look at me?”
She did, staring into the deep amethyst of Twilight’s eyes. “You are going to hurt Rainbow Dash. Whether you stay friends or start dating. It’s inevitable. Friendship and love means being vulnerable, means opening yourself up to disappointment and hurt and even betrayal. That’s the magic of it. That’s what makes it special. The fact that we can give ourselves to another person, that we can rely on them, that we can be that close. That trust is what makes a bond like that strong, and repairing it, linking all those threads back together through communication and understanding after they’ve frayed or broken. That just makes them stronger.”
Sunset felt warm wetness in her eyes and Twilight blurred a little. “And if she doesn’t want to repair them with me?” She was still so scared, still so prepared for the day Celestia had, Rainbow would, they all would realize she was too fucked up to salvage, and cut her loose.
Twilight took her hands. “Sunset Shimmer.” She said the words with a steady, heavy, sure rhythm. “You are preparing for a catastrophe, a future, that doesn’t exist. Rainbow Dash is the element of loyalty. She won’t abandon you. Not unless you ask her to go away. And even then she might be too stubborn to listen. So long as you meet her half way and work with her, she will always be willing to fix things, okay?”
“Okay.” The word came out choked, but laced with a smile.
“Now, how do you feel? What do you think about last night?”
“I think…” Sunset sniffled. Then reached into her pocket, and pulled out her phone. “I think I want to talk to her.”