//------------------------------//
// 10 - General Relativity 
// Story: Stop asking QUESTIONS! (also, why are you acting so weird right now?) 
// by Cxcd 
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“I’m telling you, sweetheart!” Hondo exclaimed, following his wife at what any bystander would call a ‘safe’ distance. “You’re overreacting! I’m sure Sweetie and Rarity are just fine-”
“I’m not overreacting!” Cookie shouted, pushing open the door to the gas station violently. It swung all the way forwards, smacking against a display shelf and shaking a few Slim Jims loose to the floor below. The cashier clerk behind the counter gave a start, dropping his magazine in shock. “I saw her on face-time! If that- something even lays a finger- or hoof, or horn on Sweetie Belle… ooh, there will be hell to pay!” She found a bag of chips sitting idle on a shelf. It seemed like the bag of chips days were over as Cookie gripped the bag with enough force to explode it, stomping towards the counter where the very concerned cashier sat, phone against ear.
“I don’t know, should I call the police?” The clerk whispered into the phone. Cookie chucked the bag of chips onto the counter, putting her hands on her hips and glaring. He nervously smiled back, putting the phone down lightly and making slow movements as he began scanning the bag.
“L-Let’s calm down, honey!” Hondo looked over his shoulder, awaiting the sound of distant approaching sirens. He nervously adjusted the brim of his vacation hat. “You said so yourself! Rarity probably just forgot one of her filters were on, and-”
“No! She owns an iPhone! You can’t do that on an iPhone!” Cookie exclaimed like it was obvious, looking over her shoulder and at her husband.
“Well... why not?” He asked in confusion.
“I-” Cookie exhaled, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Apple doesn’t let you do things like that. If she owned a Samsung, okay. Fine. I could accept that. Android has ways around it. But she doesn’t. She has an iPhone. You can’t get filters on Face-time.”
“But Instagram allows filters-”
“Instagram isn’t Face-time!” She stomped like a child. “I may not be the most tech-literate person on the planet, but I know when something’s off when I see it!”
“M-Ma’am?” The cashier asked weakly. Cookie turned around with fire in her eyes, the cashier shrinking further behind the counter. “T-Tha’d be- um- four sixty six?”
“For a bag of chips?” She asked loudly, leaning into the counter.
“U-Um…” He clicked a button on the register. “T-Two sixty six?”
“Fine.” She drummed through her purse, pulling out a five and slapping it down onto the counter. “Keep the change.” She said, taking the bag of chips and walking away.
“Then why did you…” He looked at the five dollar bill in confusion. “I’m not paid enough for this…”
“H-Honey!” Hondo quickly jogged to keep up, one hand holding his hat firmly on his head, walking out the door and quickly crossing the parking lot to the wife getting into the driver’s seat of the dad-van pulled up to a pump. He leaned into the window of the van, huffing from exhaustion. “This is ridiculous! There are a thousand-and-one explanations for why you saw what you saw!” He rubbed his forehead. “Tell me exactly what you think happened!”
“Rarity has been replaced with this-” She shoved the keys into the ignition, roaring the van to life. “-this horse thing! Unicorn!”
“Unicorn? Seriously?” He asked, leaning further into the car. “I know that Canterlot doesn’t have the best history with magic, but… Unicorn?”
“Here.” Cookie leaned up in her seat, reaching deep into her pants pocket and pulling out her phone. She began tapping away on the screen, Hondo only watching in desperation for his wife to see reason. He was also watching both ways up and down the street for the arrival of a police car for his wife’s erratic driving earlier. “Look. I took a screenshot when it happened.” She said, turning around her phone and showing him the screen.
Lit up on her screen was a screenshot from her gallery app. It showed the Face-time interface complete with the mute, hang up, and preview window sprawled across. In said preview window was Cookie’s frozen face, halfway between shock and surprise.
In the main window, however, was a strange sight. Just like Cookie had said, it was a Unicorn with a striking resemblance to his own daughter. White coat, purple curly hair, and bright blue eyes. The Unicorn was also, similarly to Cookie, halfway in between emotions. Shock and fear, it looked like, followed by what seemed like a desperate attempt to use her hoof to hang up the call.
“That could totally be a filter!”
“No it can’t be!”
“Yes- how could it not be a filter?!”
“Because it’s not-” She turned the phone back to herself, using her fingers to make a grabbing motion, like she was physically grabbing the words out of the air. “It’s not glitchy! It’s too perfect!”
“Seriously? A filter is too perfect?” He laughed harshly. “Do you think the earth’s flat, too?”
“No!”
“Unicorns, flat earth, and the moon is a hologram?” He piled his face into his hands. “Ohmygod, Cookie! This is ridiculous!”
“Get in the god damn car, Hondo.” She said angrily. “We’re going to check on our daughters.”
“And abandoned our vacation?” He uncovered his face.
“What if I’m right? What if this… thing replaced Rarity? What if it’s going to replace Sweetie?”
“It’s not going to! There is no thing! Occam’s razor! It’s not a- Unicorn from another world! It’s fucking Rarity!” He shouted.
“Our lives are messed up, okay?” Cookie shouted. Hondo went silent, closing his mouth and staring at his wife. “Our daughter-” She sighed. “Rarity is part of a group of teens that can willingly summon magic. How far away is something like this? Really?” Hondo simply sighed.
“How far away? From being replaced with Unicorns?” He rubbed a hand over his hair. “I- I-” Finally, he just sighed, leaning his head far enough down until his hat almost fell off. “Whatever makes you happy, dear.” He said, defeatedlyclicking open the car door and getting into the passenger seat. Cookie stared for a moment before shifting the car into drive and pulling out of the pump.
“I just… hope Rarity is okay.” Cookie said. Hondo grumbled something unintelligible, staring out the open passenger window. “I hope our daughters are okay.”





“Who is Einstein?” Rarity asked in a hushed whisper, leaning closer to her table partner, which happened to be Pinkie. Uncharacteristically of the pink party pony, she merely shrugged while twirling a pencil in between her fingers, paying rapt attention to the speaker at the front of the room.
In the quite spacious and large room with bland white walls and black marble desks with sinks installed in the center of them, two people stood at the front of the room. One of them, the one closer to the blackboard, was easily recognizable by her gray skirt, bright blonde hair, and crooked eyes.
The other person at the front of the room, standing up yet hunched over what appeared to be lesson plans at his desk, was wearing a brown coat. His hair was spiked and wild, a tie connecting his suit together. No matter how hard Rarity stared, she couldn’t quite figure out where she knew him from in the pony world.
“Einstein believed using this equation…” He began, looking up from his lesson plans. Ditzy picked up the white chalk and began scribbling, albeit with obviously bad handwriting, an equation on the board. “...to be blunt, he believed this equation would unlock the secrets of the universe. Not really, of course. But let dreamers be dreamers.” He turned to look at Ditzy, who tapped the board. Although unintelligible to Rarity, the equation did look familiar. “E equals M C squared.” He proudly said.
“Where do I know you from…?” Rarity whispered to herself. Yet again, surprisingly, Pinkie only shrugged, still twirling a pencil nervously in her fingers.
“In the seventies, a group of scientists decided to put a test to the equation, now famously dubbed the Hafele Keating experiment.” Ditzy began scribbling on the board once more. She started with a circle and began filling in the circle with continents. Rarity cocked her head to the side as she watched her fill in the land masses. She gave a hollow chuckle, mostly to herself.
“Darling, none of those continents are right.” She whispered. “Central Griffonia should be to the right, not to the left.”
“Rarity, hush up!” A voice said behind her. She turned around in her seat, looking at the girl who was whispering. She was unidentifiable by face, but the bright pink bow in her cyan mane gave Rarity the distinct impression she was talking to Cloud Flitter, a member of Ponyville’s Weather Team. “I’m trying to listen!”
“Sorry, dear!” She whispered back, looking towards the front of the room once more.
“The scientists had three clocks. For the sake of simplicity, let’s just say they had two clocks. They put one right here-” The brown-coated teacher pointed at a place on the right side of the left continent. Ditzy put a small X where his finger was. “-in Washington D.C. Then, they took another on an airplane, and zoom!” Ditzy followed his finger with the chalk, creating a dashed line as he traced another circle around the planet. “They were in complete synchronization when they left. Can anybody tell me what happened after the plane landed?”
There was a moment of silence as the class awkwardly stared at each other. Turner nodded his head as the silence reigned on longer than what he deemed necessary.
“Miss Rarity.” He eventually said. Rarity straightened up, a prick of fear going through her heart as she was called on. “You were whispering during my class. Perhaps you’d want to answer this question?” Rarity gulped, her eyes flickering from him, to Ditzy, to the blackboard.
“W-Well…” She said, a small droplet of sweat sliding down her forehead. “Erm- if you’d must know…” He wouldn’t be telling us this experiment if it wasn’t important! “Err- I do believe the clocks went… out of sync?” She guessed. The teacher nodded his head in satisfaction.
“Very good, Miss Rarity.” He said. “No talking- even whispering- during my teaching.” He turned back to the board. “Yes, the clocks went out of sync by about ten nanoseconds.” Ditzy scratched something into the board again, once again, unelligable to Rarity. “Ten nanoseconds. Now- what does that mean? Does that mean somebody jiggled the clock while loading it onto the airplane? No. Of course not.”
“Time travel!” Ditzy said from the blackboard, accidentally letting the chalk from her fingers drop to the floor below.
“Wh- Ditzy!” He let his shoulders fall. “The students were supposed to answer that question!”
“Nobody ever raises their hand.” Ditzy said. “Ever.”
“I mean-” He sputtered, eventually giving up with a sigh. “I guess. Anyways.” He cleared his throat. “Yes, that means that time on the plane moved slower! Physically slower! The scientists onboard would’ve experienced time slower than those on earth!”
“The second plane.” Ditzy said while picking up the chalk.
“Yes! I know my own lesson plans!” He said. “Fine! There was a second plane flying in the opposite direction. This plane experienced the exact opposite effect-”
*Crunch!*
Rarity visibly flinched at the terrible sound. She turned to shoot her desk partner a glare that could level entire skyscrapers. Pinkie had somehow found herself a large bag of what appeared to be button sized candies, varying in colors. Rarity began to open her mouth to start scolding the pink haired human, but remembered that the teacher apparently had super-sonic hearing.
Fortunately enough for her, however, it was barely two minutes later when Ditzy began coming around the classroom, handing out worksheets. Of course, Rarity and Pinkie had no idea what the worksheets had written on them.
“Alright. You may begin!” The teacher said. Finally, Rarity and Pinkie could talk. And first things first…
“Darling, where did you find that?” She asked as the class erupted into voices, talking at their table groups.
“The teacher’s desk.” She said through a mouthful of candy. “They’re chocolate. Want some?”
“Want some-” She guffawed. “Are you serious? You stole from the teacher? And your offering me-”
“Here.” Pinkie held out a single blue candy. Rarity’s eyes squinted in suspicion as she begrudgingly took the candy, popping in into her mouth and chewing as she leaned back into her chair, observing the rest of the class as she ate.
A few faces in the human world were definitely… familiar. Some ponies you couldn’t change the essence of, no matter how many dimensions hopped. Ditzy happened to be one example of that. No matter how much pony you took out of Ditzy, it would always still obviously be her.
Humans were mostly pale, lanky, fully clothed, and… hairless, mostly. These humans had… well, let’s call it their own ‘charm,’ shall we? Yet, in the end of the day, no matter how much Rarity stared, the humans were not appealing in any way. They were just much too alien for her.
She finally swallowed the candy.
“Right.” She leaned forwards again. “Why did you steal candy, dear? It hardly seems like the Pinkie I know-”
“Candy?” Pinkie asked, holding up a red candy.
“No, darling.” She lightly pushed Pinkie’s hand away. “Why did you-”
“The red ones taste different.” Pinkie interrupted, holding up the red candy again. Rarity made a grumbling sound, pushing her hand away harder.
“Pinkie, listen to me.” Rarity demanded. “I ask you once again. Why did you take the candy?”
Pinkie went silent for a moment, shifting the bag of candy in her lap awkwardly.
“...did you know Fluttershy has a sister?” She whispered. Rarity paused her breathing for a moment, creasing her brows and staring intently at Pinkie.
“Fluttershy has a sister?”
“I-I didn’t think so!” Pinkie said dejectedly. “How many birthday parties have I missed? How many, Rarity?” Pinkie rubbed her forehead. “Am I even a good party pony if I don’t know my best-friend’s-sister’s birthday?”
“Pinkie…” Rarity tapped her fingers. “I’m… actually fairly certain Fluttershy doesn’t have a sister.” She paused her tapping momentarily as she began thinking. “Tell me- how old is she?”
“Like… sixteen?” She guessed. “Younger than us. Which is even more of a shame, because that means I’ve missed her most influential birthday parties! The blunder years!”
“I’ve met her parents before.” Rarity rubbed her chin, looking up at the drop tile ceiling above. “At the wedding. We talked for a while. Her mother used to be a gardener, and sewing has a lot more in common than one might think.” Rarity tapped her chin in finality with her index finger. “They both loved their kids. The two almost always talked about them.”
“What are you saying?” Pinkie asked, leaning forwards intently.
“Why didn’t they ever mention her-” She stopped. “Sorry- what’s the dear’s name?”
Pinkie merely let her head collapse onto the table below as Rarity felt a jolt, momentarily in panic that the pink human suffered a heart attack.
“I don’t even know her name!” She sobbed.
“T-That’s okay!” Rarity soothed, reaching over and rubbing a hand against Pinkie’s back. “I-It wasn’t your fault!”
“Yes it is!” Pinkie responded through hair. “It’s my responsibility as Ponyville’s Premiere Party Pony to know everypony’s and everypony’s relative’s birthday! And I failed on my responsibility!”
“It’s not your fault, because I don’t think she exists.”
…
“What?” Pinkie asked, raising her head.
“Are you confident that this was Fluttershy’s sister? Not some freshman pulling a prank?” Pinkie nodded through wet eyes. “Think about it, dear.” Rarity said. “I don’t think she’s been born yet in Equestria. There are plenty of differences over here. Ages of people are all over the place. We’re both physically younger. Dearie me, I don’t think I remember the last time I could read something close up without my reading glasses.”
“Aren’t you only thirty?”
“What of it, dear?” Rarity asked, squinting her eyes dangerously. Pinkie nervously laughed, rolling her wrist as a way to ask to continue. “If we are the ages I think we are, which would be about eighteen… What are the chances that she just simply hasn’t been born yet?” Pinkie was silent for a moment, her thoughts churning.
“Are you saying I can do negative birthday parties? Birthday parties before they’re born?”
“That’s not… exactly what I was getting at…” She shrugged. “But yes, dear. You haven’t missed a single birthday party. Especially not in Equestria.”
“But… what about the Crusaders?” Pinkie asked. “They’re born back home. Wouldn’t she also be born? If they’re similar ages?”
“Hm.” Rarity hummed. “Well- what’s the alternative? Either she hasn’t been born yet, or she will simply never exist.”
“So… It’s not my fault I didn’t know who she was?”
“I guess not, darling.” She smiled. “You simply can’t do negative birthday parties.”
“Oh.” Pinkie shrugged. “I… guess that makes sense.”
The bell interrupted them from their thoughts. There was a cacophony of screeching chairs as everybody fought to stand up and fought to be the first ones out the door. Rarity and Pinkie simply stayed seated, watching as everybody filed out from around them.
“I… I think I should tell her.” Pinkie said.
“Tell her what?” Rarity asked slowly, already knowing the answer.
“About us. About ponies.” Pinkie said. “She’s Fluttershy’s sister. She deserves to know.” She gave a half chuckle. “And I did… kind of make her upset. I need to go apologize to her.”
Rarity slowly gathered her school binder, standing up from her chair. Pinkie copied her, also picking up her own stuff, including the bag of candies that had been mostly forgotten about.
“Well… Twilight warned us not to tell anypony about us unless absolutely necessary.” Rarity said. “Is this… necessary?”
“Yes.” Pinkie said on the verge of exasperation. “I hurt somepony’s feelings, and that’s never okay.” Pinkie adjusted her binder. “At lunch. I’ll tell her at lunch. With a cupcake as an I’m sorry.”
“Do you mean right now?” Rarity asked, looking over her shoulder and at the flowing hall full of students through the door. “Lunch is starting right now. I’m feeling slightly peckish, and judging by the half-empty bag of candy you have with you, you aren’t feeling particularly hungry.”
“The bag was already half empty!” Pinkie held out the bag, showing it to Rarity. “Whoever filled this didn’t fill it all the way! I didn’t-”
“Is that my M and M’s?” The teacher at the front of the room suddenly exclaimed. “Great-wickering-stallions, my M and M’s!”
“Oh.” Rarity said, blinking as she backed up towards the door. “Time Turner. I remember who he is now. Ta-ta, Pinkie.” Rarity said before booking it out. The last thing she saw was an angry teacher, a frozen on the spot Pinkie, and for some reason, an even angrier Ditzy Doo.