Rosa needed time to think. The problem was that she didn't have any. Lillian was already looking for her and it wouldn't be wise to let the girl go search inside the house. Her parents might ask why Rosa wasn't watching her like she was supposed to.
As shocking and unsettling her new cutie mark was, Rosa had to put it aside, at least for the moment. She simply couldn't be confused and depressed around Lillian for the second day in a row, or she would definitely start asking questions. The family might even take Rosa to a vet, which would seal her fate pretty quickly.
She had to keep it a secret.
Rosa's thoughts ran like quicksilver now. At least for the moment, hiding it would be easy - she just had to obey Mr. Boone's commands to the letter and never let one of the humans see her unclothed. It was going to be tricky with Lillian, whom Rosa hadn't minded if she saw her flanks so far. She would have to hide from now on and somehow make it look natural. With luck, she could make it through the two years with them, even if Rosa had to resort to hair dye. Would it even work?
She would have to try.
The problems would start when she returned to the School. Rosa knew for a fact that she would have a full vet exam after each assignment, to make sure she hadn't been injured or caught something contagious to other ponies. It was very doubtful that she would be able to get though a vet assessment with clothes. Hopefully, her dye idea would work, or she would figure out something else by then.
Rosa snaked her head around to examine the mark. Was it like a tattoo on her skin, or was it that her fur in those places was now a different color? It looked like the latter. Rosa hoped it was, because then she could dye it. With a sinking feeling she realized she would have to deal with this problem for the rest of her life.
Right then, however, she had a little girl to reassure. Rosa just wished there was someone to comfort her, too. Also, she was reminded of something Instructor Martha had once said and which she had all but forgotten, until now. Suddenly it was bothering Rosa for some reason.
"Not all ze days will be good, Rosa," the woman had explained to the mare over a sandwich during a lunch break. "Sometimes zere will be problems. Remember always zat your child depends on you, okay?"
Rosa had nodded, but didn't speak, surprised at the sudden, unexpected topic.
"Zey rely on you to be always happy, always cheerful. Zat is why, sometimes, you will have to act - pretend."
Still Rosa had remained silent, while the Instructor took a bite of her BLT. After she'd swallowed, Martha pointed. "Zis morning - zere was a problem in your dorm?"
Rosa had almost forgotten about it by lunch. Valentina had left part of a chocolate out on the table and Rosa had inadvertently put her homework on it. The paper was ruined and she had had to skip shower to copy it onto a fresh sheet. It had just been a minor annoyance. Rosa was surprised the Instructor had picked up on it at all.
After she had explained, Martha nodded sagely. "Yes, your ears were hanging to ze floor. It is okay, but from now on, I would like you to pretend. It doesn't matter if you're sad or sick - only ze children matter, understand?"
At the time Rosa had nodded and agreed. She had always done her best to be cheerful and happy after that, until it became like second nature. Right now, Lillian deserved no less, of course.
Except...
It wasn't fair. Everyone had a bad day sometimes. Even Instructor Martha had times when she was particularly nit-picky and annoyed. Why did ponies have to hide when they felt a bit down? Rosa was a person. She thought of these humans as her friends, even Benjamin, after a fashion. She was allowed to be a bit sad every once in a while and spend a day by herself, wasn't she? Of course, it was only fair!
Then why had Rosa felt like scum when she had to lie to Lillian to get a night alone in her bed? She shook her head to try and dislodge those uncomfortable thoughts. They weren't helping, they were just making her more miserable! Even if Rosa thought it was unfair, she still wanted to be happy for Lillian. She loved that girl and didn't want her to be sad on her account.
"Roooooosa!" came the call, right around the corner. She was going back inside the house! Rosa took a deep breath, quickly rubbed her muzzle with a hoof and brought out her best smile before showing herself.
"Here I am!" she called out.
The girl, who had been starting to frown, instantly brightened up and ran over. "Where were you? I couldn't find you..."
Rosa glanced surreptitiously at her flank to make sure she was completely covered, then gave the girl a quick nuzzle while her fingers sought out Rosa's ears. Actually, the scritches were helping her relax. With Lillian at her side, Rosa could make it through the day. She would have some time to examine herself in the bathroom later on.
"Sorry, I had mud all over my hooves so I went to wash there-" Rosa pointed at the faucet, "and then I was looking for something to wipe them dry..." Another lie, which almost made her wince, but at least it was not too far from the truth.
"Oh," the girl easily accepted the falsehood, "okay."
Rosa remembered her wish from the morning and decided it would be the perfect activity to give herself some time to think. "So, wanna help me put the tools away and then we can have a tea party?"
Lillian jumped a little and clapped her hands in excitement. "Yes yes yes!"
"Actually, you can go and get everything set up, and I'll put the tools away. It's just the spade and the shovel."
"Okay!" the girl agreed and hugged Rosa around her head, burying her little face in her mane for one, beautiful moment. Then she rushed off and Rosa heaved a relieved sigh. It felt as if her cutie mark was burning, so she lifted up the dress and looked at it. Still the same, colors vivid and lines sharp. It was appropriate, Rosa knew now this was what she really wanted to do. The humans had been training her to be an Assistant Pony, but it was not her talent. Sure, Rosa could do it, even do it quite well, especially after Instructor Martha's tutelage, but it was not who she was. Her ears lowered as Rosa realized she would be doing something other than what she loved for the rest of her life.
Maybe she could somehow combine the two? Lillian had really responded well to the two of them gardening together. Maybe Rosa could make it a regular activity. One occasion wasn't much to go by, but she felt quite optimistic that she could justify it to the parents.
Her mind was already racing ahead.
If she brought Mrs. Boone into it and helped her bond with her daughter over this, then it would be something the three of them could do together as often as possible. Then, as her assignment drew to its end, Rosa could tell Mr. Boone that most of her success with Lillian had been because of that shared interest. No, why wait until then? Rosa could give him little 'progress reports' like she had already started for Benjamin.
With luck, the man would mention that or write it down for his final review of Rosa's services. Her breath caught when she remembered Mrs. Gaeta's promise to let her pick her next assignment. If she worded it properly, Rosa could easily convince her that growing veggies and flowers was a great tool for reaching some of the special children. With luck, for her next assignment Rosa might get another family with a house and a back yard! She let her head hang with relief. There might be a way to combine doing what she must together with what she loved. That was a relief.
Strangely - being prevented from gardening worried Rosa far more than getting caught. If the humans found out about her cutie mark they would take her away, but Rosa was not all too sure what would happen then. It might be that the rumours were true and she would be put to work according to her talent. In that case, 'getting caught' would be far preferable to denying herself her destiny. That was another feeling Rosa would have to explore and think about, but she was running out of time!
She went and picked up the tools so she could drag them back to the box by the pool. Weird place for them to be, but the room had no outside walls for most of spring and summer, exactly when the gardening things were most useful. That done, Rosa walked to the downstairs bathroom to wash her hooves for real. She passed the kitchen on the way and, feeling optimistic about the future, poked her head in.
Mrs. Boone was busy with lunch, but she heard the hoofsteps and looked over. "Yes?"
Rosa kept smiling. "I think Miss Lillian really likes gardening, Mrs. Boone!" she exclaimed.
There was a flash in the woman's eyes, almost like excitement, and Rosa knew she had struck gold, even if the Mrs. immediately hid it. "Oh. That's good. Hobbies are good."
Rosa just had to reel her in, now...
"Indeed! Um, I was wondering, if m-maybe. Uh, if you would be willing to check how well we did? O-Of course, if you have time..." Rosa lowered her ears modestly. She was sure she had done everything right, but a bit of humility could work wonders there. "I'm... very new to it. I would appreciate some, uh, advice," she explained. "Or, or, help - if you have time, of c-course."
The woman watched for a while, then shrugged a little to herself. "I'll go look at it after lunch."
The mare bowed slightly and backed out of the room. "Of course. Thank you!"
With her head held high she made her way upstairs. Finally melting through the woman's ice, it felt good! She glanced at Benjamin's closed door. Someday Rosa would figure out how to handle him, as well.
Maybe a cutie mark wasn't such a bad thing, after all? It was giving her new drive, making her think more clearly. Perhaps for the first time in her life, Rosa knew what she wanted - what she really wanted.
She. Rosa.
Not what some humans wanted from her.
By the time evening rolled around Rosa was markedly calmer. The cutie mark thing was a problem, true, but one she could work around. Doing something cute and ordinary, like having a tea party with Lillian and her stuffed animals had worked wonders to relax her. She had also examined her new mark more closely in the bathroom and Rosa was convinced it was just colored fur. That was good and it meant hair dye should work. The trick, right then, was both to find a shade that matched her coat color and also convince Mr. Boone that she needed it.
What could Rosa even tell him? The truth wasn't really an option. Maybe she could get some kind of an allowance and a bit of free time in a mall? Rosa understood the basic principles of how shops worked, so she was fairly certain she could find and buy hair dye for herself. Maybe she could go 'shopping' with Mrs. Boone and Lillian some day and then slip away and go look for a 'new bottle of perfume', maybe while the two were busy trying dresses or shoes or something? Shops which sold perfumes normally also had hair products, after all, and a bottle was a bottle. If Rosa played it nonchalantly the humans shouldn't even notice it in her saddle bag. She would work on it. She had almost two years to get it figured out, after all.
This time she made sure to put on fresh panties right after the shower, because they covered a bit of her cutie mark. Every little thing helped. Of course Rosa put on the night gown immediately after. She inspected herself in the mirror to make sure she was presentable, then unlocked the door and left the bathroom. Rosa made a slight detour to her room so she could drop off her day clothes beside her bed, then hurried to Lillian. She had promised her they would read some more. The girl had been working so hard and improving very nicely!
A clever little idea of Rosa's had been for each of them to voice one of the main characters. It had forced the girl to read faster, but it also made her more confident, both at reading as well as speaking. Not to mention they had both ended up giggling together like crazy on several occasions. It was one of her better inventions, Rosa had to admit.
The girl was waiting on her bed, book held in her arms and face expectant. She smiled the moment Rosa came in.
"Hey, sweetheart!"
"Come on, I found our place!" Lillian urged as she opened the book to the right page.
Rosa didn't have to be told twice. She jumped up on the bed and nestled against the girl's chest. Lillian put her arms around the mare and held the book so they could both see it. The position was quite comfortable, but Rosa sometimes preferred the feeling of Lillian leaning against her. There was something incredibly nice about having a warm human snuggle against her belly, where Rosa could put her hooves around them.
"Not too long, you two, tomorrow is a school day," Mr. Boone said from the door. Rosa had left it ajar, but she hadn't even heard the man approach. When she glanced down she soon saw why: Boone wasn't wearing his slippers. Humans could be quite stealthy in socks on the carpet, if they tried. She should remember that, Rosa though to herself.
"Of course, Mr. Boone!" the mare affirmed.
He left, satisfied, and the two could focus on their book again.
"Just till the end of the chapter, okay?"
"Okay!"
After that it would be the same rigmarole as every night, Rosa expected. She would go to bed, wait a little bit and then, when all was quiet, the girl would come to snuggle down with her. Rosa found she was actually rather looking forward to it.
That dream again.
At least tonight there hadn't been a nightmare before it. Rosa was starting to get worried about what these dreams could mean, but luckily her annoyance overruled the fear. She turned in a complete circle, trying to guess which direction her night time visitor would appear from.
"You have gotten your Mark," it said from behind her.
Of course. Drama. Rosa made a face while she was still turned away. "You didn't answer my question last time. Who are you?" she demanded.
"It does not matter. A figment of your imagination. A dream."
"Quit it with this... this..." Rosa tried to find an appropriate word that wasn't a swear, but failed. "This bullshit."
The creature stepped forward, but once again all Rosa could see were eyes, cyan and impossibly tall. The rest of it was covered in shadow. Either that, or maybe that thing was just a pair of disembodied eyes with no other substance? There came a single hoofstep, which tossed that thought right out the window.
It seemed like this was going to be another of those vague, forebodey prophecies like one got in movies or books. Sure, it sounded romantic and adventurous, but when it was happening to Rosa it was unsettling, rather than intriguing. She sat on the floor and sighed.
"Just say your thing and let me get back to sleep. I've got enough problems already."
For some reason Rosa was naked in the dream. She stood up and turned so the creature could see her cutie mark. Yes, she already knew about it, but Rosa was trying to make a point.
"You only got one," the thing noted the obvious. "I do not understand why that has happened."
There was nothing to add, so Rosa stayed quiet. She would have to think over those words, but that could wait until morning. The Boones would be away and she would have the house to herself.
The eyes closed in a blink, but then didn't return. Rosa stared at the patch of darkness where her dream visitor had stood, but there was nothing to be seen.
"Hello?"
The room felt empty. If it even was a room. Rosa didn't see any walls. Glancing up revealed only blackness. Surely, if the place was outside, she would see stars?
"How do I wake up?!" she demanded from the emptiness.
Rosa twirled around again, trying to find where the creature had gone to. She took a breath for another angry demand, but when she blinked Rosa found herself back in her bed. Lillian was asleep next to her. Rosa brought her muzzle closer and smelled the girl, just to reassure herself she was still there, before lying back and letting her breath out. Stupid, silly dreams. It had probably come from all those movies she had watched with her friends in Pony School. At least there hadn't been a nightmare before it. Rosa was slightly worried she would have one after the shock of getting her cutie mark.