Hitch Podcaster

by Quoterific


This is Your Sheriff Speaking

The sun was peeking over the horizon, yet the residents of Maretime Bay just couldn’t seem to get up. Even the welcoming rays of sunlight poking through the curtains weren’t enough the stir the four ponies of the Brighthouse. In the shared bedroom, Sunny Starscout rolled over. She was aware that there was a smoothie stall calling her name, but the warm embrace of her bed was just too difficult to part with. It was as if nothing could ever stop her from-

“Good morning Maretime Bay!”

A loud voice rattled its way through the Brighthouse and into the ears of the slumbering ponies. Sunny jumped out of her bed in a fit of panic.

“There’s no glitter in the smoothie, Posey, I swear!” Sunny blurted out before her brain could function. The other four ponies faired no better. The pegasus sisters of Zipp Storm and Pipp Petals both took to the air, bumping their heads on the ceiling before crashing back down with a soft thunk. Beside them, Izzy rolled over and fell to the floor. Lifting her frazzled mane out of her eyes, she giggled despite having bags under her eyes from another night of sleep insomnia.

“Well that’s one to start a morning,” She giggled. Her four friends nodded in unison, wiping the sleep from their eyes. They simultaneously turned their heads to the source of the ruckus. Pipp let out a long, heavy sigh.

“If only I hadn’t taught Hitch how to use the equipment,” Pipp groaned.

Far off from the Brighthouse, down in Maretime Bay proper, a certain sheriff’s station stood cleanly and proudly facing the town square. Inside, a certain sheriff was testing out the new radio station Pipp showed him from the day before.

“Good morning you lovely ponies of Maretime Bay. This is your one and only sheriff, Hitch Trailblazer, and this is the new Maretime Bay radio station! Hope you lot are all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed because it’s truly a beautiful morning across the bay. Believe me, I know. I just did my morning rounds.”

“Some of us don’t have to start the day that early,” Zipp groaned to the radio as if her sheriff friend was in the Brighthouse itself.

“Now for your early morning briefing,” Hitch cleared his throat and the sound of papers ruffling could be heard in the background, “Thank you Sparky. Now, might I remind you that earth pony magic is to be practised exclusively within the new garden’s boundaries? I do not want to have another glimmer berry incident like last time.

The four friends, now eating around the kitchen table, memories of that misadventure running through their heads.

“There will be major roadworks from Mane Street to Mane Melody Way as well, so cart services will have a reduced schedule. Please see the new timetable outside my office and stop station,” Hitch said before running through the final piece of paper, “That seems to be all for now. I will bring every notice by the minute to keep every one of you ponies safe and sound.”
The four friends almost choked on their breakfast. Slowly, their heads turned towards the radio.

“He didn’t mean that, right?” Zipp.

“Not by the minute, surely,” Pipp added.

“He must be joking,” Izzy threw her own two bits in. Then placed two bits on the table.

Sunny sighed. Once again, it seems Maretime Bay’s beloved sheriff just wants everypony in the town to be safe. Really, really safe. Just how is he going to balance his new by-the-minute podcasts, do his rounds and look after Sparky all at once?

“I guess we’ll just see how things will go from here,” Sunny suggested, “I mean, it’s just him on the radio. How bad can it be?” Sunny gave her signature nervous giggle.

“I don’t know,” Izzy interjected, “There was something Jinxie about that last question.”

Shrugging, Sunny just took it as Izzy being Izzy and strapped herself in with her smoothie cart and roller skates. Nodding to her friends, she zoomed out of the front door and followed the winding path towards the town.

Locating her usual stand. She loaded everything inside, got the electricals working, including the new radio, and started her prepping. Soon, her first customer was ready and waiting.

“Morning, Posey,” Sunny said with a warm smile, “ Let me guess, you will be wanting your usual Tropical Treat.”

“Indeed,” Posey smiled as Sunny chopped the required fruit, plopped everything into a blender and began to whizz away. So focused on pleasing her thirsty customer, she lost her concentration and a certain loud voice came through the cart’s new radio system.

“Hello, Maretime Bay! It’s me!”
The lid came flying off, along with all the blender’s contents, right towards the unexpecting customer. Posey stood there, smoothie juice dripping down her coat and onto the ground. Sunny winced as Posey’s breathed in and out, her face taking on a deep shade of angry red. Sunny knew what was incoming, so she opted for a hasty retreat.

“Hehe, sorry, Posey,” Sunny apologised as she reached for the paper towels. Wiping her down, she handed back Posey’s bits before racing out of her stall. In the distance, she heard Posey’s signature catchphrase echo from behind her.

“Are. You. Kidding. Me?!”

Sunny better put a stop to Hitch’s minute reminders before something bad happens. The news was important, but by every few minutes, it would drive her crazy! Sunny knows that Hitch was just doing his duties as a proud sheriff, but this might be stretching things out too far. Before reaching the sheriff’s office, she had to go past Pipp’s Mane Melody.

Unfortunately, her run was cut short when the doors to the salon threw open and a distressed customer ran out, her mane a glittery mess. Pipp was running after her.

“Um… Thank you for choosing Mane Melody! Please come again!” Pipp mustered the best smile she could and waved the fleeing pony away. Turning around she was relieved to see Sunny.

“It was horrible! HORRIBLE! I was just about to mix my latest ingredients for, like, the perfect hair product when Hitch caught me by total surprise on the radio. Instead of a de-stressed treatment, it turned out into a re-stressed treatment!” Pipp was crying waterfalls of tears when she finished relaying her tragic incident.

“Yeah, um, the same thing happened to me,” Sunny said before spotting something in the sky. Squinting her eyes, before they widened twice the size as she spotted Zipp and delivery pegasus Fifi coming in for a crash landing before them.

“Pipp, duck!” She pushed her friend to the ground as the two pegasi crashed behind them. Racing over to them, they found the pair of them with their eyes rolling around their sockets and covered in Sunny’s latest delivery of fruit. It seemed her new creations would be put on hold.

“Pony feather! What happened to you?!” Pipp exclaimed.

“I don’t know,” Fifi steadily got up, helping Zipp as well, “I thought it was a nice idea to install a new radio so my flights wouldn’t be so dull and-“

“Say no more, say no more,” Zipp waved a hoof, “Even as a detective, I know where this is going.”

“We better put a stop to this before anypony else gets hurt,” Sunny said, the others nodding in agreement. Together, once Zipp wiped herself down, raced towards Hitch’s station. As they headed towards the town square, a familiar friend zoomed passed them in her signature motorcycle.

“Hi, friends. Is this some kind of race?” Izzy said, driving beside them.

“We are going to talk to Hitch about his new podcast show,” Pipp said, “We think he’s done enough and we’re going to do something before he does another show and we’re going to tell him about rethinking the timeslots.”

“Good thinking,” Izzy said, “Dragon-sitting for Sparky whilst I have some uni-cycling to do at the same time would disrupt my creative flow, you know?”

“You’ve been dragon-sitting for Hitch?” Zipp asked while she flew.

“Well duh, I’m Hitch’s official dragon-sitter,” Izzy said. Just as she finished her sentence, a certain head popped up from behind her, wearing a small helmet and goggles.

“It isn’t fair on little Sparky here to be with me all the time while he has a real dragon dad to look after him,” Izzy said, “Plus, his dragonfire is something else. My latest uni-cycled jewel-crafted bugs and butterflies keep crawling away from me! How can I spread my crafts if they walk away from me?”

The four of them reached the front entrance of Hitch’s office and burst through the door. Upon hearing the sound of papers and a microphone moving around, they took the next door and flew them wide open. Hitch, so focused on his next live recording, fell back on his chair, papers flying everywhere. Turning his head towards the cause of the commotion, his frown turned upside-down.

“Hello, girls! This equipment is amazing. I can keep everypony up to date with-“

“We know,” All of them answered back. Sparky, who was still too young to say a word, could only grunt. Hitch’s smile slowly disappeared.

“You didn’t get my messages?” Hitch asked hesitantly.

“We heard them loud and clear, Sheriff,” Zipp answered first, “I just love getting my morning flight disrupted by a crashing pegasus who got spooked by your announcements.”

“Or causing a pony with the worst mane ever to walk out of Mane Melody,” Pipp added, “I will never live that down for as long as I live!”

“And think of little Sparky,” Izzy held the baby dragon up who was trying to reach for his dad, “Is all this time locked up in this cramped office good for your time with Sparky?”

“Hitch,” Sunny sighed, “As I said before, you are an amazing sheriff and you do your best to look after everypony in Maretime Bay, but you also need to set some time for yourself and your friends as well, okay?”

Hitch looked at the ponies gathered and back towards the station he set up.

“I suppose I could take a break every now and again,” Hitch sighed.

“And?” Sunny asked.

Maybe change the time of podcasts from by-the-minute to every hour or so. Then I could spend more time with Sparky, as a dragon dad should.”

Sparky clapped his claws together and giggled in excitement at the last point.

“Great!” Zipp said, “Now how about lunch? Then we can help you reschedule your live recordings so they don’t cause any disruption to ours or any pony else’s?”

“That sounds like the right idea,” Pipp said, “All this running around has made me hungry.”

“Then how about a non-disturbed fruity smoothie?” Sunny suggested, “And it’s on the house?”

The five friends and one baby dragon exited the office for an afternoon of fun and relaxation without anything getting in the way.