I Am a Monster

by J3sterking


Dealing With It

"Okay, so the impromptu sleepover has officially begun," Rainbow said, closing her phone. She was seemingly feeling better at this point, and had actually gotten up and moved--though not much, and normally rubbing her back as she did so. Still, she had fared better than Sunset's TV, at least.

Fluttershy was doing her best to ignore the attention she was getting as the rest of the girls began winding down. Sunset closed her door behind her as they listened to Luna drive off.

"So, darling, what did she want to talk about?" Rarity asked.

"Uh, just a cover story for--" She waved her cast. "I don't think it's really gonna be necessary. Everyone who'd ask questions is in this room, right?"

"Darling, just because they haven't opened up to you yet doesn't mean they won't care that you got hurt," Rarity said. "Besides, what about Vinyl?"

"I'm pretty sure Vinyl is the reason Vice Principal Luna came here so quickly," Sunset said slowly. "I...well, nevermind, let me worry about her, alright?"

"If you say so," Rainbow said. "Um, the lightheadedness will fade, right?"

Fluttershy nodded. "Yes, but I did drink about a quart of blood, Rainbow Dash. I know certain foods can be helpful for that, but I'm not a hundred percent certain. In the past, I...didn't care so much about the health of my, uh, donors."

"Do vampires have a term for them? Er, me?" Rainbow asked.

"Normally, 'bloodbags' or 'sheep'," Fluttershy said. "'Donor' was the nicest thing I could come up with."

"I'm not sure you could find a nicer term, darling," Rarity said, flipping her hair. "It does lend a certain generous air to it, hmm? Giving freely to someone in need?"

Fluttershy sank in on herself.

"What? Did I say something? A vampire faux pas?"

"Not that I know of," Fluttershy said. "The rest thought I was so crazy and out of control that they didn't associate with me."

Sunset sat down on her sleeping bag--per Fluttershy's request, a good distance away from the vampire's. "Did that ever get lonely?"

"Well, with the state I was in, I never really cared," Fluttershy said slowly. "I never really understood what I was missing."

"Well, might as well make for lost time, right?" Sunset said. "It's been working pretty well for me."

Fluttershy smiled. "Yeah, I guess it has, hasn't it? For both of us."

Sunset smiled back.

"WAAAAAIT!" Pinkie jumped up in Fluttershy's face. "Can you only drink blood? I've seen you eating before! YOU CAN EAT CAKE, RIGHT?!?!?"

Fluttershy giggled. "Yes, I can, but I don't really need to. But I don't have that good a sense of taste, anyway."

"WHAT?" Pinkie shouted in Fluttershy's ear.

"I can't really taste most things like you do, but I can certainly enjoy the effort you put into making something nice for me," Fluttershy said with a smile. "Thank you for all the work you do."

Pinkie stared at her, then grinned. "Your welcome!" she said, flying back to her own sleeping bag.

"What's that you got there?" Rainbow asked.

"It's...a book," Sunset said slowly, rubbing her good hand across the old, worn cover.

"I see that, but you're giving it a really weird look," Rainbow said, raising an eyebrow. "So, is it, like, a special book?"

"Kind of. It's from Equestria."

"Ooh! Is it a spell book of some kind?" Rarity asked.

"Even if advanced theory of unicorn magic was in any way something you'd be able to understand--" Sunset raised an eyebrow at the sheepish Rarity. "--no. It's a magic book linked with another one that...my mentor has so we can write to each other. Or at least, had. I don't even know if she kept her copy."

"It's...Princess Celestia?" Applejack asked slowly. "You thinkin' of writing to her?"

"I don't think she wants anything to do with me, at this point," Sunset said quietly. She looked up, seeing everyone staring at her. She sighed. "Remember, I lied to her, broke her trust, stole a large helping of gems, then go back only to try and steal her new student's crown, which I plan on using to depose her as ruler of Equestria. Considering all of that, I'm amazed Princess Twilight didn't drag me back to be executed."

"Because you were willin' to change, sugarcube," Applejack said. "Besides, somethin' tells me ya don't get to be Princess of Friendship without being willing to forgive an' forget."

"Some things you never forget," Sunset intoned.

"Who says you're supposed to?" Fluttershy said. All eyes looked to her. "I mean, I tried to kill Luna. She and Celestia certainly aren't forgetting that any time soon, but both of them gave me the help I needed to make it this far."

"I've...gotta be honest, sugar. I forgive ya everything, y'know? But the image of that fireball headin' towards me is never leaving." She shook her head, then reached over, wrapping an arm around Sunset's shoulders. "Quit fussin' so much over things you did before." She turned and shot a look at Fluttershy. "Both of ya. Focus on the now."

"And on the later!" Pinkie said. "There's always a party coming up sometime!" She somehow caught them both in a wide grin, despite their being at opposite sides of the room.

"Both of those have me as dead tired, so--" She hesitated. "'Dead tired' isn't, like, considered offensive to vamps, right?"

"Not really, no," Fluttershy answered. She almost looked like she wanted to object to 'vamps', but said nothing further.

Rainbow Dash lay down in her bag, yawning. "Well, that's a relief. I keep worrying I'm gonna...say a slur or something..." She trailed off into a light sleep.

"Well, let's follow her example, shall we, girls?" Rarity said, laying down. "We can talk more in the morning."

Most of the lights were turned off, one after another. The last one left was Sunset's light, mostly hidden by her pulling her blanket mostly over her head. "Applejack?" she said, looking to the girl closest to her.

"Yeah?"

"You got a pen I could borrow?"

After a second of silence, Applejack passed a pen over.

"Thanks."




Applejack left her friends sleeping, stepping out into...night? Probably? Very early morning. The autumn chill sank into her bones, but she almost welcomed it. She sat on the edge of the steps to Sunset's house, trying to get a handle on her emotions.

After all that had happened, waking up early was probably expected. She was surprised that all the other girls were still asleep at this point.

Well, Rainbow Dash wasn't surprising, actually. Even factoring in her usual carefree attitude, she had lost a quart of blood, so being tired was--

One of the shadows nearest Applejack moved. She straightened, looking over to her right. "Hello?" she asked.

It was just her own shadow. Sitting down, and with the pale moonlight slipping through the clouds, it just looked strange.

And...winged.

The shadow readjusted itself, and from its head, two glowing red pinpricks of light appeared.

"Uh...is that you, Fluttershy?"

Fluttershy landed lithely on her feet, looking just like she always did. "Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," she said. "I was just up there thinking..."

Applejack looked up. Sunset's roof was flat, so Fluttershy must have been sitting on the edge of it, right? But why did the shadow have glowing eyes?

Fluttershy squirmed uncomfortably. "High places help me think," she said.

Applejack laughed. "Well, suit yourself, I guess." She turned back to look out into the city, and of random cars driving down the road. "Has...anyone really seen ya doin' that?"

Fluttershy sat next to her. "Not really. City life is busy enough so that they're either working already, or asleep."

"Do you sleep?"

Fluttershy didn't answer for a long moment. "Vampires don't go to sleep."

"I..."Applejack hesitated. "Sorry."

"You didn't make this choice for me," Fluttershy said, the red glint returning to her eyes. "Don't apologize. I should say sorry to you."

"Well, all's forgiven," Applejack said. "We're willin' to give you any help ya need, Fluttershy, and I'm certain Rainbow and Sunset aren't too shaken. Heck, it sounds like even Principal Celestia and Vice Principal Luna forgave ya."

Fluttershy let out a 'hmm' sound. "Years ago. I assume they thought I'd died for a bit, when I stopped causing trouble, so they must have been surprised to see me here, playing nice."

"How old are they?" Applejack asked. "I caught you sayin' something about the eighteen hundreds..."

Fluttershy shrugged. "I'm old, same as them. I didn't hear anything about them when I was young, so, I can't really say when they were born.'

"How does that work with your body aging?" Applejack asked. "I mean, I remember you bein' a kid."

Fluttershy looked Applejack in the eyes, and her face began to change. The chin narrowed, lines of age began to appear, and her eyes flash bright red. Her two front teeth elongated, but it didn't stop. Her face looked almost like a traditional nosferatu, old, wrinkled, with glowing red eyes and long, sharp fangs. "Most vampires can't do that," she said, voice sounding...dry, almost. She closed her eyes, and quick as it had come, her face returned to normal. "I had a good teacher, I suppose."

Applejack let out an appreciative whistle. "It would make one heck of a Halloween costume."

Fluttershy paused, then turned and looked at Applejack.

"Sorry, with Halloween coming up, it just--uh--"

Fluttershy giggled. "I suppose it would," she said. Her ears twitched, and Applejack listened to the sound of a phone buzzing. "Let's head in," she suggested, standing up.

Applejack shivered in the early morning chill, then followed Fluttershy inside.

Sunset was starting to wake up, though most of the others had sat up blinking. "Somebody turn that off," Sunset muttered.

"Alright, I got--" Applejack blinked. "Sunset? Um, I think it's for you."

"For me? Where'd I put my phone..." Her hand fumbled around her sleeping bag for a minute, eventually touching the glowing pink, vibrating book.

Sunset sat bolt upright, eyes going wide. "BOOK!" she shouted.

"I'm up!" Rainbow Dash burst out, sitting up.

There was a brief flurry of activity as Sunset held up the old-looking tome, which had stopped glowing and vibrating, before all the girls lapsed into silence. "Oh, she actually answered," Sunset moaned. "What do I do? She's...she's...okay, deep breaths. Deep...breaths..." She quickly began hyperventilating.

"Uh, who answered? She knows that's a book, right?" Rainbow asked Rarity, with a concerned expression.

"No, silly! Obviously she put her phone in the book!" Pinkie nodded vigorously.

"Really?" Rarity asked, glaring a the two of them.

Rainbow Dash slammed her palm into her face. "Oh, right, magic book."

"How could you forget--"

"I was tired, still am tired, and also, missing a quart of blood," Rainbow snapped. "Suffice it to say, I'm cranky."

"Now, now, sugar," Applejack said, sitting besides Sunset. "Let's not get too worked up, a'right? Slow, deep breath, in...and out."

Sunset complied, breathing slowing down.

"Now, Princess Twilight told Princess...Celestia..." When Sunset nodded, Applejack continued. "She told Princess Celestia that you were reformed. You just went and apologized to her, right?"

Sunset nodded.

"Now, if she's as nice as you've lead me to believe, then she'll forgive you," Applejack said.

"If she's anything like the one in our world, she's forgiven worse," Fluttershy said, giving an encouraging smile. "Come on, just open it and read her response."

Sunset gulped, then opened the book. She took her time flipping to the space where Celestia's reply had come.

Sunset took in a deep breath, looking up at her friends. Then she grinned. "Well, here goes nothing." She looked down and read what Celestia had wrote.


Dear Sunset Shimmer,

It's so wonderful to hear that you're doing alright. But let me ease your worries--all is forgiven, Sunset. I would have told you sooner, but my thought had been that the journal wouldn't work. The fault is mine, Sunset, for this, and for your descent.

I failed you as a teacher, Sunset. It was my job to watch over you, and I failed. It was my job to teach you about the things that you should stay away from, and I failed. It was my job to keep you from making the mistakes you did, and I failed. It is I who should be asking for your forgiveness, Sunset, and I hope that you can give it to this foolish old mare.


Sunset blinked back tears, rereading just those passages again.

"Sunset?" Rarity asked slowly.

"She...forgives me," Sunset said. "Pen. Where's a pen..."

"Here!" Fluttershy said, suddenly appearing on her other side holding a pen.

Sunset took it quickly, then gripped it in her bad hand with a wince.



Don't say things like that! You were in no way at fault for any of that, Princess. I messed up, you shouldn't blame yourself for that.

She paused as text from Celestia started to appear.



Part of living as long as I have is that you learn to accept where blame lies. I'm not perfect at it, but I can at least recognize when I've failed my job as a teacher. But do understand I'm not taking ALL the guilt off your shoulders. I was simply doing my best to apologize for my own mistakes, Sunset, not say that you made none.




Sunset let out a small sigh, then wrote back.



Well, as far as I'm concerned, everything is forgiven, Princess. You always felt like...well, a second mother, to me, up to and including trying to get me to make friends. Between the two of you, I should have listened at some point. Heck, it's the student's job to listen to their teacher, and I failed that one pretty hard, too.




It happens to the best of us, Celestia replied. There are plenty of people whom I ignored at one time or another, nearly costing me everything.




"Is everything alright, darling?" Rarity asked.

Sunset wiped the tears off her face, looking up and smiling at her friends. "Yeah," she said. "It really is."