//------------------------------// // Eighth Entry // Story: Even the Strong Need Help // by Charlie_K //------------------------------// "It's all... all that I..." Strike had been in the process of repeating for a third time, but found himself unable to actually force the words out yet again. At this point he was struggling even to just maintain eye contact with the sisters, with his body language doing wonders to convey just how badly he presently wanted to look elsewhere right now. But still he continued, refusing to look away even as he trembled where he stood. Not that things were much better for Celestia and Luna at this point. Neither one of them had anticipated either his answer or the manner in which it'd been delivered. It was enough to leave them caught off guard, and uncertain of just how they should respond to what'd just been dropped on them like a ton of bricks. There had been suspicions, yes, but this was outright confirmation of them being fact. "I shouldn't have said that. I shouldn't have said that..." The question of how they should respond to the admission was put on hold, as the ensuring silence was broken by Thunder Strike berating himself, and sounding quite displeased at he did. "I shouldn't have said that," he repeated once again as he shook his head. "A Guard doesn't ask what the kingdom can do for him, a Guard asks what he can do for the kingdom. A Guard does not complain. A Guard must always exercise devotion, to their command, to their service, and to their comrades. A Guard must always be loyal, to command and comrade alike. Without loyalty there is no trust, and without trust there is nothing." On, and on, and on he continued, reciting tenets relating to the Royal Guard and the idea of what they were supposed to be, both as an organization and individuals. But whether he was reciting them to himself, or to them, was anypony's guess at this point. Whether or not he was even aware of them at this point was anypony's guess. Frankly, it was a little disturbing to watch, before he finally ceased and thrust his head downward. "Your Majesties, there is no excuse for my lack of professionalism. I profusely apologize for my conduct just-" Whatever he had to say further was silenced as Luna gently placed her right forehoof against his lips and over his mouth, before easing his head back up again. She smiled softly, warmly, but also sadly at the same time as she gently shook her head. "Thunder Strike, please, it is alright. You were simply being honest. You do not need to apologize for your honesty. That in itself is a tenet of the Royal Guard, is it not?" she asked. He awkwardly nodded in response. Only then did she realize the fact she needed to remove her hoof so that he could actually speak again. "If anypony here needs to apologize, it would be me," she continued. "I was frustrated over matters that I did not understand, I allowed myself to become angry, and worst of all I directed that anger at you for no reason. And I am so sorry for doing that. You dutifully do hard work, you do not deserve that sort of abuse." "Indeed not," Celestia agreed. "Luna, could I speak with you for a moment? Privately?" Luna looked from Thunder over to Celestia, before nodding and trotting over to join her. One flicking of magic later and their color palettes were restored to their previous glory. "We are now outside the confines of his dream, he will not be able to hear us until we go back in," she stated. After a moment of thought, she continued. "Nor will he be able to read our lips. Considering just what he does seem able to do, I took no chances." "A wise decision," Celestia replied and nodded. "Did you see what I saw? Was there a crack in that veneer of professionalism just a moment ago when he thought you were belittling his career decisions? Or was I imagining things?" Luna shook her head. "You were not imagining it. That was a genuine emotional response from him that we witnessed. That was... it felt like actual fury. I thought we might actually be getting past the Lieutenant and to the pony, but then he just... seemed to lock himself back down again. As if he was aware of what was about to happen, and he retreated back that protective shell of his before it could actually happen." "Or the Lieutenant part of his identity won't allow for his true self to be known," Celestia mumbled to herself. "It's your call, Luna, how do we proceed? Do we pull back and observe him in the waking world? Do we try and keep the pressure up until that shell cracks?" "I do not want to break him," Luna stated and shook her head again. "He is already broken enough if he believes being a guard is the sum total of his worth in life. He is far too young to be harboring such depressing thoughts." "I don't want to break him either. I'd rather not break anypony," Celestia assured her, "but we have to do something to help." "I am aware of that, Sister. I have seen what you have seen," Luna pointed out testily. And even more testily, she sighed in frustration. "Five days without working was enough to make him sleepwalk his way onto duty. I do not want to think what he will do if told he has to be on medical leave for a solid month. The guilt and mental stress alone may be enough to kill him. He would not even make it two days before he is helping the cleaning staff polish the palace from foundation to spire." "That may not actually be far from the truth," Celestia said as she chuckled weakly. "Back when he was a Private, I found him doing something along those lines." "He was doing guard duty and cleaning duty?" Luna asked. "Not exactly. Back then a maid by the name of Dust Bunny was having a hard time cleaning a particularly high spot, because her field just couldn't extend those last few inches needed to reach the point that needed polishing. He happened to be in the area at the time so he told her to climb up and stand on his back to make up the difference." "He was serving in place of a stepladder?" Luna asked. Celestia nodded. "At first it sounded like something entirely different was going on, as I'm sure you can understand. But there they were, him doing his best to stand up under her weight, and her doing her best to finish as fast as she could while trying to maintain her balance. Once they were finished and she climbed off of him, she polished his cuirass as a thank you for his help. "I waited until they were done and parted ways before finally coming around the corner. Otherwise he probably would've saluted me out of reflex and sent them both toppling to the ground, which nopony needed to happen. And he tried so hard to act like nothing had happened, and everything was normal. It was so hard for me to keep a straight face and not let on." Luna smiled at that. "That is oddly adorable. If I had known about that previously I would have brought up that memory, simply so I could see it for myself," she admitted. "Maybe later. Right now we still have business we need to tend to... right after we figure out how to do that." "I know. I just... do not know how yet," Luna admitted uneasily. As was done when they'd first arrived, she planted her forehoof against the ground and dragged it towards the right, grunting as she felt the same sensation of resistance presenting itself and forcing her to abandon her endeavor. "His mind is just as secure as it was before we talked. I tried to bring up something from his foalhood just now, and that mental block will not yield. It is as if he has completely sealed off everything that has no bearing on being a guard," she stated. "He may be telling the truth. The Royal Guard may very well be all he has, because he has subconsciously suppressed everything else; as if his life begins and ends with his service." "The same service that may very well end his life if things don't change," Celestia muttered grimly. "... If we could keep him distracted, keep him from being able to mentally balance himself again, could you get past that mental block and see what we're dealing with?" "Under the right circumstances? Maybe," Luna sighed and slowly -almost sadly- shook her head. "But I am done with this sneaking about shit. I am fed up with the lack of answers, and ready for the "tough love" approach if it is needed. I am fully prepared to march back in there, and be every bit the hardass superior our office affords us to be if that is needed to make him open up and tell us what we want to know so that we might help him." This time it was Celestia's turn to shake her head. "Let's hope that it doesn't require that approach. I don't particularly care for when we have to go that route of doing business." "Right," Luna sighed again. "So. Do you have any strategies in mind?" "My dear Luna... I'm making it up as I go along." "How comforting," Luna deadpanned. "I suppose I have heard worse ideas in my time. But I would be hard pressed to recall any of them right now."