//------------------------------// // Wild Signals // Story: The Arrival of a Brony // by Thebronywithin //------------------------------// “Yeah, thats right, Twi, get ready to work your magic!” Rainbow Dash says shortly before flying off in the other direction, then zooms towards me. “Crap” “Rainbow WAIT!!” Twilight tries to stop Rainbow Dash but it’s too late, she’s just drop kicked me into my room and slammed the door, I can hear Rainbow say something, but with landing on my NERF Longshot, and banging the back of my head against the wall, I could’t quite make it out, but if I had to guess, I’d say she was telling Twilight to send me back before I ran out and killed her. I see a flash of light outside my window, and all of a sudden, my iPad, the only device I left plugged in, makes the whistling/dinging noise that all iPhones, iPads, and iPod touches do when they’re plugged in. “Well, that was a short visit” I get up and go over to my window to inspect the area, but, to my surprise, I still see Ponyville Pond just outside my window. I go back over to my iPad, sure enough, it was receiving power, and even had a Wi-Fi connection. “Beyond weird, not that I mind, but it’s still weird, what about my phone?” I take my iPhone out of my pocket, and sure enough, I have four bars of Telus 3G, and Wi-Fi. “That makes as much sense as my whole situation, but at least I’ll be able to show Twilight the internet!” I then have a sudden realization. “Then again, that might not be the best idea.” I decide to go over and open my door, after all, there are probably a few confused ponies on the other side. I grasp the handle and turn the knob, unlatching the door from the wall, allowing it to swing open, and when it is fully open, I hear Rainbow Dash say. “Run! He’s gonna kill me for assaulting him!” I really need to get a handle on this situation before I become an outcast without doing anything, I decide not being hostile is a good start. “Next time you could ask, and I’ll gladly just walk in, no need to break my ribcage.” Twilight comes up to me, but not before whacking RD upside the head, and says. “I’m sorry about Rainbow Dash, she can be, quick to do, slow to think.” She says trying to make me less judgmental, I know, because I’ve had people try to do the same thing, not realizing my standpoint on the subject or person already. “It’s alright, I can be the same way at times.” I shrug, not much else to do in this situation. “So, you’re not mad?” Rainbow Dash comes out and asks, hoping I’m, well, not angry with her. “Nah, I’m pissed, but violence won’t solve anything, so why bother.” I hope that’s enough to keep them from running away, if not, I’m screwed. Applejack lightly slugs Rainbow Dash on the shoulder, as if to tell her to do something. “Uh, sorry for kicking you like that, I was kind of skeptical about you, I really just wanted to keep my friends safe, and to me you seemed like you could be a threat.” Rainbow apologizes to me in this manner, and I can tell it’s only half sincere at best, but, oh well. “So, what, did you think I was a spy or something?” “Yeah I, wait, how did you know that?” Rainbow Dash is a bit puzzled as to how I was able to “guess” her assumptions. “Well, based of the things you said” and my knowledge of My Little Pony “I was able to make an educated guess.” “Oh, okay, I guess that makes sense.” She says, probably not convinced, but whatever, it’s Rainbow Dash. I look down for a moment and see my laptop on the ground, with a few new dents in the aluminum enclosure. “Well, thats just great.” I reach down and pick it up, examining it, there’s a dent on front right corner, near the Facetime camera. “Well, maybe the damage is all aesthetic.” I open the laptop up, and to my relief, the display and trackpad are un-cracked, and the keyboard is fine. “MacBook Air, thin, light, and durable!” I now realize that the ponies I was talking with are staring at me. “What?” “Well, you seemed so concerned over a small item like that, we’re just trying to figure out why.” Twilight seems to be speaking for the group, which currently consists of her, Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Lyra. “Well, yeah, this isn’t exactly cheap, this particular model costs about one thousand, five hundred.” “HOLY CHEESE AND COW PIES!!” Applejack spurs out, while all the other ponies just stand and stare wide eyed at me. “Did it really cost that much? Thats quite a lot of bits for something so small.” Once again, I’ve made Twilight curious, this should be easy, just show her what it’s capable of. “Well, yeah, but it’s dollars, not bits, and its well worth the price, because, One, it’s durable, as you know from earlier, and two, it’s capable of so much, that it can replace many things you probably have lying around the house, like, a projector, for instance.” I seem to have hit home with this one, Twilight is beginning to understand why it costs such a pretty penny for the “Small device”. “Ah have a question.” Applejack adds, and I bet I know what the question is. “Go ahead.” “Why is there a glowin’ apple on the back?” Yep, I was right. “Oh, well, thats the company that makes it, Apple inc.” I say matter-of-factly. “They used to be called Apple Computer inc. but they made so many things other than computers, that they dropped the ‘Computer’ part of their name.” “And just what IS a computer?” Rainbow Dash asks, she seems annoyed, thats new (Not at all). “That would be what this is.” I point to the open laptop in my hands. “Oh, okay.” “Yeah, anyway, I’m gonna put this back in my room now.” I walk back into my room and put my laptop on my bed, and walk back out. “That was quick.” Twilight says as I walk back out. “What can I say, it doesn’t take long to walk in, set something down, and walk out.” “Well, I guess that makes sense.” She replies, just as a small purple and green dragon comes running up. “Twilight!” He says. “There you are! Ther-… who’s this?” He points to me. “Spike, this is Dallin, Dallin, this is Spike.” Twilight introduces us to each other, and I kneel down on one knee to greet him. “Hello, Spike, it’s nice to meet you.” I extend my hand to him, which he looks at for a moment, then takes it in his claw and shakes. “Nice to meet you too, Dallin.” Spike says to me as he pulls his hand away. “Anyway, Twilight, there’s some weird metal carriage-like objects outside the library” “What? Metal, carriage-like objects? What exactly does that mean Spike?” Twilight asks him. “Well, they look like enclosed carriages, although one is big and silver, while the other is smaller and orange.” Spike explains. “But neither of them have a way to connect to a pony to tow it!” “Well that just doesn’t make any-” Twilight is cut of by me saying. “Wait a minute, I know what those are, I think.” I say. “ could you take me to them?” “Well, yeah, but, why?” Spike seems perplexed by my request. “Just trust me.” I tell Spike. “oh, and Twilight, you can put Doodle down now.” “Oh, okay.” Twilight does her best to set my dog down without hurting him, but Doodle twists and turns and eventually ends up on the ground. “Omygosh, I’m so sorry!” “Nah, don’t worry about it, he does that, it’s not your fault.” It’s true, Doodle is a jerk when it comes to being put down, on the ground I mean. “Anyway, let’s go, lead the way, Spike!” “Uh,” He glances over to Twilight who just gives a shrug. “Okay.” “Come on Doodle, let’s go!” I say in a higher pitch voice, as if I were talking to a baby, and begin walking, following Spikes lead, with Doodle walking along side me. “You really think you know what these things are? Spike wasn’t very descriptive.” Twilight seems unconvinced that I know what the “Carriage like” objects outside her house are. “If I’m right, they’d be from my world, and Spikes description was adequate, providing I actually know what they are.” “Alright, if you say so” The rest of the journey to the library was filled with an awkward silence, with the exception of the light patting of Rainbow Dash’s wings, and the hoof clops of the other six ponies (Twilight, Rarity, Lyra, Fluttershy, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie). “Alright, it’s just up here, but they’re around back, so you won’t see them ‘till we’ve made our way around the Library.” Spike breaks the silence, probably sensing the awkward situation. “Alright, that’s cool.” Then I see the Library, it’s bigger than I thought, however, since about four months after first watching the show, I’ve had a comment on my mind that I Never thought I’d get to say, here goes nothing. “you know, when your parents tell you to make a treehouse, they didn’t mean literally make a house out of the tree!” My comments get audible response, laughter, just about everypony at least has a smile on their face, all except for Twilight, who seem’s slightly offended. “Yeah, why is the library made out of a hollowed out tree?” Spike adds. “I don’t know, it was like that before we came!” Twilight’s being defensive, time to ease off. “Relax cupcake, it was a joke.” “Cupcake?” Twilight seems confused by my choice of words. “Yeah, cupcake, a miniature version of a cake, commonly used at birthday parties.” “PARTY!? OMYGOSH! I TOTALLY FORGOT!! YOU’RE NEW, AND I HAVEN’T THROWN YOU A PARTY YET!” Pinkie Pie then zooms away, leaving me and the rest of the ponies in her dust, which is pink for some explainable reason, it’s Pinkie Pie. “I’m no expert, but given what she said, am I to assume that she’s throwing me a party?” I’m a bit bemused, even though I expected as much from Pinkie, seeing it in real life is just, weird. “Yeah, you get used to it after a while, but at first, it’d freak anypony out.” Applejack chimes in, she’s probably seen this a thousand times, and yet, she’s not completely annoyed by it, or if she is, she does a really good job of hiding it. “Curious” I add. “because I’m not a pony.” “Guys, are you gonna come and see, or just stand here and talk?” Gees, spike’s almost as impatient as Rainbow Dash, almost. “Alright, we’re coming, sheesh, who crapped in your cornflakes this morning?” That turned a few heads. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Spike’s pissed, probably not a good thing. “Relax, it’s an expression, it means, why are you so grumpy?” I state, trying to get a handle on the situation, this really isn’t going as smooth as I envisioned before arriving in equestria. “Well, you could’ve said that.” Spike replies, still upset. “You know what, forget I said anything, let’s just see if I was right about these ‘Carriage like objects’ okay?” Why am I always trying to re-obtain control of the situation? “Humph, fine, they’re just around the Library.” Spike grumbles, he’s probably upset about what I said. “Alright then, let’s head over there.” We walk around to the back of the library, and my eyes light up, the ponies just stare in confusion, but then again, they don’t know what they are. One has four doors, is a bit smaller than my bedroom, and is colored silver, with a logo on the front, the logo is a simple three elongated triangles that meet in the middle, and have a circle surrounding them, touching the tip of each triangle. The other has two doors, is a fair bit smaller than my room, about the size of a queen or king size bed, and is colored orange, and has a logo at the front as well, however, the logo is a triangle that bulges slightly on each line, is filled with black, has a gold/orange outline, and has a bull of the same color, seeming to be turning left while charging, and the word “Lamborghini” overtop of the bull. “See” Spike says as he walks over to the SUV. “no place to hook in a pony to pull it!” “I see, Buzz, can I call you Buzz? Do you recognize these?” Twilight asks me. “Yes, and yes you may call me Buzz.” I clarify, still staring at the smaller, orange object. “Can you tell us what they are?” I guess a ‘yes’ wasn’t enough of an explanation for Twilight. “Oh, right, they’re cars, that one.” I point to the larger, silver one. “Is called a SUV, or ‘Sport Utility Vehicle’, it’s a Mercedes-Benz GL320 CDI, and that one,” I point to the smaller, orange one. “Is a ‘Sports car’, built for speed, this particular one is a Lamborghini Murcielago LP640.” “I see, and how did you know exactly what they were called?” Why is Twilight so curious, wait, it’s Twilight, never mind. “Well, our family own’s one like the Mercedes, and I really like Lamborghini’s, so I looked into them, does that answer your question?” “I would say the information you provided should be adequate.” Why is Twilight being so formal? Ah, whatever. “Hey!” A voice from above rings, a voice that could only belong to Rainbow Dash. “What?” “You said speed, how fast are we talkin’ here?” of corse Rainbow would be curious about that. “We’re talkin’ 340 K/hr, or, 211 M/hr, give or take a few numbers, depending on the surface you’re driving on.” “I don’t know what those numbers mean, but it sounds fast! It has my approval!” it’s official, the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640 is 120% Rainbow Dash approved! “That’s all fine and dandy, but how do they work?” Rarity says, causing me to think for a moment, before I walk over to the Mercedes, and taped to the driver-side window, is another letter, this one however, has a bulge at the bottom, and the word “To DJ Buzz” on the back. “I guess this is for me.” I say while I oped the envelope, using my finger to rip the paper, getting an audible response from Twilight and Lyra. “What does this say, let’s see.” I begin reading the letter out loud. “Dear Dallin/DJ Buzz We hope you enjoy your life here in Equestria, we are giving these two vehicles to you to use at your digression, they have been enchanted, so you will never need to refuel or change the oil. The Lamborghini has some custom upgrades that we put in our selfs, I hope you enjoy them, it wasn’t easy to make them work. We didn’t forget about the Mercedes though, we upgraded the suspension, added more horsepower and torque, and left a special vehicle, as well as some new hockey gear for you in the back of the SUV. We hope you like your gifts, if you ever need anything, send us a message, and we’ll do our best to accommodate you. Sincerely yours Princess Luna and Princess Celestia P.S. Consider this your singing bonus” I tip the envelope, and out come two keys, one for the Lamborghini, and one for the Mercedes. “Well, this is most definitely, the most awesome gift I have ever been given!” I pull the handle of the Mercedes, *Clunk* “Locked, hold on.” I press the unlock button on the Mercedes key, nothing, press it again, *Click* “there we go!” “Uh, Dallin, DJ, whatever, how did you do that? It seemed like magic, but you said you didn’t have magic where you came from.” Why do I always confuse the egghead, whatever, I have some basic knowledge on the subject anyway. “Well, the Key, thats this thing” I hold up the key to the Mercedes. “sends a coded signal over radio waves, and the car receives these signals, and translates them into actions.” “Is that it?” Sheesh, Twilight is persistent. “No, there’s a whole lot more as to how it works, but that’s all I know.” Although I wish I knew more. “Oh, alright then.” “Holy flippin cow” I mutter under my breath. Finally I reach out and grab the handle of the Mercedes, pull it towards me, and the door opens, making a half clicking, half clunking noise when I do, I reach into the cab, and press the button to open the back hatch. The hatch begins to rise, making the ‘Bring’ noise that it always make when it raises or lowers, while at the same time I come out of the cab, close the door, and walk around to the back, and I almost don’t believe what I see. “This is amazing! I thought I’d never get to ride one again!” I must have been exited, because Rarity comes up to me and says. “What’s got you so exited darling?” “Oh, its this, I thought I’d never see one again, hold on, let me get it out.” I reach in and grab the base of the object, the object is two wheels, both sitting parallel to each other, and a rounded rectangle connecting them together, and a T shaped bar coming out from the front of the base. I pull it out, almost dropping it when the heavy, 105 pound object is out of the vehicle, but I manage to keep it in control, setting it down, I lean it against the back of the GL 320 CDI, and pick up the sticky-note attached to the top of the object. “You never need to charge this either, hope you enjoy it!” I pull the sticky-note away, revealing a small, circular device, attached to the top. “Hey, what is that?” A suddenly curious Rainbow Dash Inquires. “This, is a Segway, a Segway x2 to be specific.” I say as I press the ‘Power’ button on the side of the segway key, activating it. “That’s cool, but what does it do?” Why is Rainbow Dash suddenly the curious one? Ah, whatever. “It’s a short range transportation device!” I tap the platform with my foot, activating the gyroscopes inside the machine, then, I step on, one foot, then the next, and I’m standing there on two parallel wheels, causing Twilight to cock her head to the side. “How is that possible?” Twilight’s back to asking questions, great! “Simple, it uses gyroscopes to keep me balanced, it balances me, not the other way around.” I explain to Twilight, using all my will power not to shout ‘Stop Being Curious!’ “Uh, what?” For a brief moment, my eyes are directed straight up, while my forehead scrunches up, my right eyebrow slightly higher than my left eyebrow, then, I redirect my attention to Twilight, think for a moment, and then park the Segway against the side of the Mercedes, step off, walk to the left of the Segway, and begin repeatedly smacking my forehead against the side of the car. after I hit my head four times, I hear a voice that can only belong to Rainbow Dash say. “Uh, Twi, I think you broke him.” “Nonsense, he’s not broken, oh wait, maybe he is, dear sweet Celestia! I’ve broken our guest!” With that, I stop banging my forehead, turn to Twilight and say. “Really? You actually believed that I was broken? I’m a firkin’ living being, not a machine!” I might be talking louder than I should, but I can fix that later. “I mean come on, for being so smart, you’re really gullible.” “Am not!” “Are so!” “Am not!” “Are so, and I can prove it.” “Go ahead, make my day!” “Hey look! Someone wrote gullible with the clouds.” Twilight instantly looks up, then, realizing that she had just walked into a trap, hung her head in shame and embarrassment. “Aw, come on Twi, don’t be like that! it was only a joke!” A snickering, Rainbow maned, Cyan pegasus says. “Yeah, what she said, besides, I’ve fallen for that trick before, it just seemed to fit the situation.” “How so?” *Facepalm* “What?” Twilight’s confused now, awesome! “I said you were gullible, and I used a trick that everyone falls for to get you back for asking questions about every, little, thing!” “I do not!” “I’m not even gonna go there, anyway, I need to finish checking whats in the car.” I say as I walk over to the back of the Mercedes, and then pull out a large bag that has the nike logo, and the word “Bauer” written next to it. “Hmm” I open the bag, and inside is hockey gear, specifically, two shin guards, a pair of hockey “Shorts”, a cup (the kind only guys need), shoulder pads, and some arm guards. “Well, looks like I’m set for hockey pads, wait, is that another one?” I say, noticing the second and third rows are folded down to fit everything in. “Holy crap, that is, wait, this one’s bigger.” I say as I pull it out, it’s bigger at the bottom than at the top, meaning only one thing, but I should open it just to be sure. “Hmm, I wonder.” I open the bag, and inside is goalie pads, leg pads, blocker, catcher, helmet, chest protector, cup (this one’s a bit thicker), and the goalie pants, the whole shebang. “Wait, am I supposed to be a skater or a goalie?” I remark in confusion. “What ever do you mean darling?” Rarity inquires. “Well, I’ve been given pads for a skater, and a goalie, that’s what I mean.” “Well, we have a goalie, and a mighty good one at that, so those pads there must be for practice.” Applejack adds, after not saying anything for the longest time. “You may already have a goalie, but all national level teams, at least where I come from, have what’s called a ‘back-up goaltender’, that way, if the main goalie is having an off day, they have someone to fill in for them.” Does that make sense? Of corse it did, stop questioning me, me. [A.N. I often have arguments with myself in my head, so I’m telling myself to shut up.] “Oh, I’ve never thought about having a backup, I mean, Pinkie’s so good in net, I’d of thought we’d never need a new goaltender.” A shy yellow pegasus named Fluttershy states. “Trust me, even the best goalie can have an off day, emotions often play a large part in their performance, happiness and anger make a good goalie, while sadness and depression throws them off.” Did I just describe goalies, or Pinkie Pie? “Well, that makes sense, and in Pinkies case, it’s twice as true.” Applejack expresses, revealing “Party of One” to be true, but I should keep my knowledge of that hidden, at least until the time is right. “What exactly do you mean by “Twice as true”?” “Ah mean, one time, Pinkie invited us to a party on a day when we were preparing a party for her, she took it the wrong way, and thought we were avoiden’ her.” Applejack explains. “that silly filly got so worked up, she threw a party with her, her pet alligator, gummy, a pile of rocks, a bag of flour, and a dust bunny.” “Interesting, wait, hold on a sec.” I pull out my phone, go into my utilities folder, and tap on the “compass” app, which I’ve tested to work without 3G, and the compass comes up, and the red triangle indicating north, points to the left of me, indicating that I’m facing east. “Just as I thought, the sun’s on it’s path down, meaning it’s past noon, I’d estimate, about, three thirty in the afternoon, or sixteen thirty if you’re going by a twenty four hour clock.” “How were you able to tell which way was north on that little thing?” More questions from the best place to get them, Twilight Sparkle! “Easy, it has a compass built in, and it displays it on the screen.” “I don’t fully understand.” why would Twilight understand? “It’s technology that hasn’t been invented here, just leave it at that.” I say, shaking my head. “Sheesh, no need to get angry.” Twi says, half guilty, half offensive. “Sorry, I took it too far, and for that, I apologize, anyway, I’d like to take one of these for a spin before I attend the first party ever thrown for me that isn’t a birthday party.” “Um, okay, but, which one?” Rainbow Dash asks, I bet she wants to race the Lamborghini, but not today. “I think I’ll take the Mercedes for a spin, I need to take this stuff back to my room anyway.” I say as I re-zip the equipment bags, push them inside, pull the segway over, turn it off, and lift it back into the car, making sure it’s past the place where the hatch comes to a stop and latches shut, then, I press the lit up red button on the bottom of the hatch, shutting it, and walk over to the front door, driver side, open it, get in, close the door, insert the key into the slot, turn it, the electronics come to life, then I turn it more, I get the gauges working, telling me that everything is perfect, one more time, and the engine roars to life, making the signature *Chick-Chick* *Vroom* every gas and diesel engine makes when it’s ignited. “Lovely.” I then proceed to lower the driver side window. “Hey, guys, you’re gonna want to stand clear.” I shout to them, hoping they hear me as I put the vehicle into reverse, turn the wheel right, and take my foot of the break. “Oh, I can’t wait to see their faces.” I say as I look back, just to make sure I don’t hit anything, then, once I’m pointed in the direction of where my room is, I switch it into drive, and apply pressure to the gas pedal, not too much, just enough to go 20 K/hr, which is a sprinting pace for most, but probably a casual running pace for these ponies. I look out my window, and see the ponies easily keeping up to me, so, I add more speed, now, I’m going twice the speed, now, only Applejack and Rainbow Dash are keeping up, I’d of gone faster, but my room came up, so I had to slow down and stop so I didn’t pass it. “Well, that was fun.” I say, getting out of the car, not before putting it in park and shutting it off. I look over to my right, and see Twilight and Lyra running up, while Fluttershy and Rarity walk behind them. “Oh, hello slow pokes.” I say teasingly. “I take offense to that.” Twilight complains, partially joking. “Whatever Twi, me, AJ, and Rainbow head here all beat you.” witty comeback, LIKE A FAUST! “Rainbow head?” I don’t think Dashie knows if thats an insult or not, neither do I. “Relax, I’m just playin’ around.” “Ugh, fine, just don’t ever call me that again.” “Whatever you say, cyan head.” “HEY!!” “Oh, come on, I’m just kidding around, consider this payback.” Rainbow was about to say something, then she realized what I was talking about, and promptly blushed and flashed what we call a “Bad poker face”. “Hey, no need to get all mushy with me, besides, there’s a party to go to, and I’m assuming you would know where to go.” “Well, yeah, follow me, I’ll take you to Sugarcube Corner, that’s generally where she holds her parties.” Rainbow reveals, seemingly glad that the subject has changed. “Lead the way.” “Alright, it’s kind of hard to miss, I mean, it’s a gigantic gingerbread house after all.” “That may be true, however, I still have never been there, let’s go!” Rainbow didn’t say anything, instead, she motioned with her hoof for me to follow, while she floated about two feet off the ground, so, we followed her, we walked behind Dash, while she floated forwards in front of us, the only thing keeping us from being exited, was the awkward silence, it lasted about two minutes, before I’d finally had enough, so, I try to start a conversation, Lyra should be easy enough. “So, Lyra, what kinds of music do you like?” “Well, I like orchestral, and lyre music.” “Anything else?” “Well, every once in a while I do enjoy going to one of Vinyls gigs, the music is great, the crowd, not so much.” She admitted with a shrug. “So, are they like, raves or something?” I raise my right eyebrow slightly. “yeah, exactly, you’d be amazed the number of ponies who like to get drunk and listen to techno blasting at -15db, it’s ridiculous.” Lyra only mentioning techno prompts me to ask the very question I asked when I found out I was in Equestria. “Do you have Dubstep?” “No, I don’t think so, what is it?” Lyra has some mix of confusion, and pondering on her face. “It’s like techno, only completely different.” The response to this is a collective “What?” from everypony here. “It’s something that can’t really be described, you have to hear it.” *Insert shrug here* “Okay then, do you have some on your comp- th-the thing with the glowin’ apple on it?” Applejack asks, not remembering the name of the “Device”. “Computer, and yes, but, I also have some on my phone.” Why did I say that? STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! “Phone? What in the name of Celestia is that?” Oh Rainbow, you know just how to get on my nerves, anyhow, I guess now would bee a good time to show them, good think I have siri, otherwise I’d have to unlock my phone, and guess what I was watching on youtube last time I used my phone? I’ll tell you, it was an episode of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. “Well, this is a phone.” I reach into my pocket and pull out the small device with an Oilers case on it. “it’s quite capable, not as much as a computer, but still.” I press down on the home button and hold it down until I hear the signature, two tone ding that means its listening. “Play songs by : Nick Thayer” Not really dubstep, but I want to have good speakers for that. “What good is talking to it gonna do?” Twilight asks, I think she doesn’t understand. “Playing songs by Nick Thayer” The female voice says from out of my phone. “Oh” Amazingly, the song that plays is Facepalm (Dodge & Fuski Remix), the one closest to Dubstep, and one of my favorites. They listen to the sound coming out of the tiny speaker, I’ve found a way to make the sound louder by holding my hand over the speaker, I do this so they can hear as much as possible, we listen for a bit, then, out of my phone speaker comes- “OH NO!” for those of you who don’t know, thats the drop of the song, and when it hits, I get mixed reactions. None of the ponies can really grasp it though, considering there’s no bass, I’ll have to change that later, I pause the song and put my phone in my pocket. “There wasn’t really any bass, when there’s bass, or even better, a subwoofer, it sounds way better.” I explain. I get a collective “Meh”. Without realizing it, we’ve arrived at sugarcube corner, and by without realizing it, I mean I walked right into the front door. “OW! Who put that wall there?” If you can’t guess, I’m being sarcastic. “Uh, that wall was there long before you ran into it.” it would appear that Twilight doesn’t quite grasp the concept of “Sarcasm”. “Uh, T, I was being sarcastic, you know, not serious?” I shouldn't have to explain this, why do I have to explain this. “Oh, right.” Twi gives an embarrassed blush, then, perks up, and point at the door. “Hey look, a note!” “Notes, three down, five to go.” Why did I ever play SLENDER? “What?” A confused flying cyan pegasus says. “Nothing, it has something to do with a game I’ve played, what does this note say?” Rainbow glides over to it, lands, and reads it out loud. “Sugar Cube Corner is to small, party at the V.S. Rave Club” Rainbow steps back. “Woah, dude, this is big, if Pinkie is having your party there, you can expect to have the best night you have ever had!” “And why is that?” Oh me, why are you so quizzical at times? “Uh, that club is pretty much the party local of pretty much all equestria, and when Pinkie’s in charge, it basically becomes so epic that words CAN’T begin to describe it.” The Mint green unicorn in our midst proclaims (Yes, that’s Lyra) “So, what you’re saying is, I’m about to have the most epic party ever to be held in the history of parties?” “Yep” “Dang, and I haven’t even been here a whole day.” I now proceed to question my existence in my mind, it has been censored due to a large amount of fowl language, and I don’t like to make fun of birds. “wait, where exactly is this club anyway?” Twilight seems to come to a realization when I say this “It’s almost thirty kilometers out of town! we’ll never make it!” “Well, maybe you can’t, but I’ve got my transportation, I’ll be right back.” I then run off in the direction we came from. Alright, Library, where is it? it’s a giant tree after all, it can’t be that easy to… oh, there it is. “hmm, keys.” I check the pockets of my hoodie, sure enough, I put the keys there. “Perfect.” I unlock the car, raise the door, get in, lower the door, and harness in. “Here we go, don’t fail me now.” I insert the key, turn it, and get a satisfying *ChickChack* *Vroom*, much like the mercedes, only LOUDER! “Time for some fun, wait, isn’t this supposed to be manual? oh, right, magic, never mind. I switch on the headlights, it’s getting dark after all, rotate the wheel in the desired direction, put it in gear, and take off. -- *3rd person view* “What’s taking him so long? I thought he said he’d be back soon!” A very annoyed Twilight complains, she’s about to say something else when the sound of a roaring engine interrupts her. “what in the sweet mane of Celestia is that?” “Uh, Twi, I’d move if I was you.” Rainbow Dash warns. --*First Person* “AWWW YEAHH!” I say as I speed towards sugarcube corner. “No need to move, I’ve got a hand brake for that.” I release my foot from the gas, apply a little pressure to the break to slow down, then release that too, pull the hand break, and turn the wheel, proceeding to do a full 180º turn before coming to a stop. “Now THAT is what I’m talking about!” I switch off the engine, open the door, and walk over to the slightly stunned ponies behind the car. “Okay, that was AWESOME!” “Dude, how’d you do that?” a slightly amazed, slightly shocked, Rainbow Dash asks me. “A combination of knowledge, physics, and breaks.” I have presented the equation in the most simple form, no translation needed. “So you read about how to do that?” Silly Rainbow, no I didn’t, oh wait, I’d better say that out lout. “No, I saw someone else do it, so I figured id give it a shot.” This is taking too long. “Let’s just go, I need a navigator in the car with me, any volunteers?” Leave it to Twilight to point out a complication. “How? those seats weren’t designed for ponies!” “Easy, there’s a switch in the car that lets me change the seat to suit a ponies’ anatomy, rather than a humans, at least, thats what the note inside the car said.” Don’t ask, I’m not covering every note I find. “Alright, I’ll go with you, I know the way the best.” Twilight agrees. “Okay, let’s go, do all of you have a way there?” I get a collective nod. “alright, see you there.” I open the passenger door, and sure enough, right on the side of the seat, is a button that has the general shape of a pony on it, I press it, and the seat changes from the normal seat, to one a pony could easily use. “Alright Twi, hop in.” I say as I walk over to the other side, open the door, and get in. “Are you sure this is safe?” The questioning Lavender unicorn inside my car asks. “Of corse not, but if it was safe, it wouldn’t be fun.” I say as I re-attach my safety harness. “And you might want to strap in.” “Oh, right.” She figures out how to safely strap herself in, don’t ask me how, she just does. “Ready to go?” I ask, Twi seems nervous, better change that. “Close the door, it’s harder to fall out that way.” “R-right, o-o-of corse.” She’s trembling, better not scare her. I close my door as she does as well, then, I put the key in, and start the engine. “Alright, get ready to navigate, and be quick, we don’t want to be late.” I put the car in gear again. “and this car is also quite fast.” and with that, we take off again. “where to twi?” “Right! okay, when you get outside of town, look for gigantic spotlight into the sky.” Really Twilight? REALLY? “Wow, specific.” Sarcasm alert. “Hey, it’s a gigantic building in the middle of nowhere, it’s really hard to miss.” Case defender Twilight, reporting to annoy the crap out of me. “Alright, I guess you get a joyride then.” I floor it, hoping to get the G-forces up a bit, I do. “SLOW DOWN! SLOW DOWN! SLOW DOWN!!” Ms.Lavender Panic Pants isn’t having nearly as much fun as I am. “Relax, I think I see the place up ahead.” At the speed we’re traveling, it wouldn’t take long anyways, and after all, it’s pretty hard to miss a gigantic building in the middle of nowhere. “Tell me when we get there!” I’m going to assume by what Twilight is saying, and how she’s saying it, that her eyes are closed. Soon enough, we arrive at the door, and let me tell you, the looks on the ponies faces that saw my car pull up, were, and still are, priceless. “Yo, Twilight, we’re here.” this seemed to get a collective jolt, and a sigh of relief from her. “C-can I get out now?” I guess I’ve had enough fun for one night, so I unlock the doors (they lock automatically when I travel faster than, about 20 K/hr). “Th-thank you.” she opens her door, and gets out, and I pull my car around to the side of the building, shut it off, get out, lock it, and head back to the front of the building to meet Twilight, but to my surprise, everyone (everypony, everybody.) is there, Dash, Lyra, Fluttershy, Rarity, and of corse Twilight are there. “Well, hello crazy ponies I’ve never met before.” I usually do this with friends, it means nothing, just some friendly banter, dash get’s it immediately, no one else does. “What’s that supposed to mean? you met us earlier, I was WITH you on your way here!” Twilight, always questioning and complaining. “Again, my world is different from yours, what I just said is a way I’d greet my friends, it’s sarcasm.” “...oh” Oh Twilight, you’re so silly. “anyhow, let’s just go in, I’d prefer not to stand outside in the dark, I don’t trust the environment here.” it’s a club, and it’s night, these ponies are likely drunk, so I’d like to go inside, there’s probably more security there, probably. “Alright then, lets go!” Lyra seems just as eager about going in as I am. We walk in, and the first thing I notice, is the blaring music, it’s not so loud that it deafens me, but it’s still very loud. “Well, either I left my headphones on, or the music in here is extremely loud.” “WHAT?!” I guess no one heard me, so I gesture that it doesn’t matter. Then, out of nowhere, the music stops, so we walk further into the club, right into the main area, and what I see, I don’t believe, there are gigantic speakers, a giant banner that says “DJ-Pon3 presents - the Vinyl Scratch Rave Club” and of corse, Vinyl Scratch herself, and who should be siting next to her, but Pinkie Pie, and she’s got a mic right now. “GOOOOOD EVENING! HOW IS EVERYPONY TONIGHT!?!” Leave it to Pinkie to go overboard, and the crowd answers her question with loud cheering. “THAT’S AWESOME! DID YOU KNOW WE HAVE A NEW GUY IN TOWN? HE’S NOT A PONY, OR ANY ANIMAL I’VE SEEN, BUT LET ME TELL YOU, HE’S AN AMZING PERSON, SO, GIVE IT UP FOR, DALLIN!!!” just as Pinkie says this, a huge spotlight shines right on me, I was always bad with crowds, especially when I was the centre of attention, I get some cheers, some “huh?”s, and a whole lot of “WTF” faces. “AND NOW, HE’D LIKE TO SAY A FEW WORDS!” Dangit Pinkie! Anyhow, she manages to get the mic to me. All right, come on Buzz, think! Whats the best way to win this crowd? I’ve got it! “I Like Ike.” well, they felt like my last words, although my name isn’t Indiana Jones, and this isn’t a movie where a refrigerator is dense enough to survive a nuke. “That’s all I got, I just came because 1. Pinkie said she organized it. and 2. For the sick Beats, and I think Pinkie’s part is done.” I think Vinyl get’s where I’m going with this, so she whispers something to Pinkie, then starts up the music again. Then, Lyra pulls me aside, and asks me this question. “Can I interview you?”