//------------------------------// // Chapter 3: Rainbow // Story: Afterparty // by FlutteringLillies //------------------------------// The rest of breakfast was stilted, quiet, awkward.  Pinkie tried her best, but even her bouncy energy and genuine smile weren't enough to restore the groggy but peaceful mood that had filled the dining room when they were all gathered together.  Sunset’s departure had just made things… weird, and Rainbow Dash was already getting tired of her friends shooting her concerned glances. They were trying to be stealthy about it, but they weren’t doing a very good job. She'd started to feel nauseous and unbalanced when Sunset left, and their misplaced concern was just making it worse. At least her head wasn’t pounding anymore. “Rainbow I-“ Dash cut Twilight’s worried words off with a nonchalant wave.  “It’s cool, girls. I’m good. I just have some sheets to wash and a bed to make. Plus I’m all full up. It was delicious Pinks, thanks.” She grinned at Pinkie, who beamed back and winked.  Rainbow picked up her plate, but she didn’t get far before Twilight tried again. “Are you sure? Because I had this whole plan on how we could do things super efficiently and-“  Pinkie interrupted this time. “That sounds like a great idea Twilight!”  “Yes, but my plan include-“  “It’ll still work fine, silly! Rainbow does need to clean up the upstairs. I told her to!” She leaned in then and as she was walking out of the dining room, Rainbow just caught the whispered words “time to herself” before she rounded the corner and stared up the stairs. She wasn’t particularly surprised Pinkie had seen through her. They almost certainly all had, save for Twilight. That was good though. She knew it meant they wouldn’t follow her.  Rainbow tried not to stomp as she climbed the stairs, but there were dark anchors of emotion tangled around her, so each step was still as heavy as she could manage with just socks. Her friends were used to her clomping around in heavy combat boots at this point though, so they didn’t complain. Her attitude was all frustration, with some small sprinkles of confusion and anger mixed in. Sunset didn’t have to want her or anything like that. Rainbow was far from desperate, but couldn’t they have at least talked? She groaned at the thought as she walked  into the master bedroom. It would have been a weird conver- The scent of Sunset Shimmer was so distinct and powerful that she physically flinched as she stepped closer to the tangled, messy bed. She hadn’t taken it in, or simply noticed. No, the smell had hit her like a wall of force. Memories of the night before came rushing up now that she was in less pain. They were hazy and warm like steam, just as oppressive and muggy too. Sunset close to her, grinding into her, kissing her. Rainbow sunk into remembering, into the warmth, until it became… heat. Her cheeks burned in sympathy. She shook it off. She had something to take care of. Since Sunset had so kindly left her all the work. Rainbow grabbed the blankets and was hit with Sunset's scent again. It rocketed an older memory to the forefront of her mind this time.  One that wasn’t muted by celebration and liquor.  Sunset's home. Just outside, on her cracked overgrown driveway. Rainbow leaned against the house, drinking a soda, watching Sunset, who sat on the concrete. She twisted bolts and screws, pulling at cords or nozzles or some other thing Rainbow didn't recognize. She had never really gone in on cars. There were just cooler things to get into. Watching Sunset work was fun though. There was a relaxing rhythm to it, like a heavy bass drum, and now she knew why Sunset always smelled a little bit like engine grease. She smelled it now. Just a hint, but still definitely there and definitely Sunset. "Focus, RD." She grumbled the words to herself and quickly gathered the large pile of blankets and sheets into her arms. She couldn't see much past the bedding but stomped out of the room and down the stairs nonetheless. Only when she caught a brief glance of pink hair at the bottom did she stop.  "Oh Dashie! So okay, laundry's this way." A pink hand grasped her arm and pulled her to the left, then spun her around. "Right! Now just go all the way down to the last room. Door's already open." Rainbow nodded, or tried to against the bundle of blankets. "Thanks Pinks." She heard a satisfied 'your welcome' sort of sound as she moved again, placing her feet carefully until she met resistance. Rainbow tilted herself to the side until she could see the solid metal washer in front of her, then promptly dropped blankets, sheets, and pillowcases onto the ground. They were dirty anyway, what did she care? With full sight now, she started on her task, reaching down to grab blankets and stuffing the washer full. There would be at least two loads, but that was fine, she had way more to help out with around the house anyway. Right now she just wanted to get away from the tangled, misty memories that kept bubbling up from obscure parts of her mind. None of them were unpleasant, but really that was the problem. Instead of helping Pinkie, she kept glimpsing into those shards of her recollection and making her present more twisted and confused. Last night was past, and held no answers, but she kept catching on the bedding in her arms anyway. She balled it all up, threw it inside, and shushed it all with one heavy slam of the washer door.  Then she took a breath and checked to make sure she actually knew what she was doing. Pinkie’s unit was similar to the one in her home though, so she set to work on the detergent and fabric softener, humming “Awesome as I Wanna Be” as she went. It was her song; from the lyrics to each instrument’s notes, and it was so ingrained into her head that she found herself coming back to it often. That was fine. It always made her feel better, made her feel more... awesome. "You wish you could be twenty percent cooler." She half mumbled, half sang the words as she hit the start button on the washer and spun around. "Woah!" She had already started her momentum out the door, but Fluttershy was there, blocking the exit. She stopped herself in time to not run headlong into her, but Shy still winced, bracing for impact. "You totally snuck up on me. Jeez Shy." "Sorry." Fluttershy murmured. The response seemed automatic. Given how many times this had happened before, maybe it was. Fluttershy had a weird thing about not interrupting, and often would hover in the background silently until being noticed. Rainbow usually wasn’t caught off guard by Fluttershy just appearing suddenly in her peripheral, but a bad mood always wound her tight with anxious energy, always made her more… jumpy. She would have to go for a run after this, get her mind off of anything that wasn’t the wind rushing through her hair. With a deep sigh Rainbow asked, "What's up, Flutters? Need help with something?" She thought it was a good guess, but Fluttershy shook her head. "I thought... you could use my help actually." She rolled her eyes. “Oh boy. Here we go.” She had expected this sooner honestly, but still wasn’t pleased to see it come. She didn’t need anyone to throw her a pity party. She was only irritated that Sunset had left the work to her, but Fluttershy would expect mushy emotions like sadness or hurt, and Rainbow just didn’t have that in her. “I know this isn’t really your forte, but it can help in the long run. Not just you, but Sunset too.” “Then why aren’t you talking to her?” Rainbow knew that sounded bitchy, and she almost took it back, but Fluttershy just smiled like she’d said something endearing. “Because I haven’t known her since I was five. Because we didn’t grow up together. Because I know you Dash, and can help you more.” Then she shrugged, like all that should have been obvious. Maybe it should have been. Rainbow slumped against the washing machine, and crossed her arms. She wasn’t going to talk about her feelings or anything like that, but it was only Fluttershy, not the rest of the girls. So maybe she could ask the one question that had been simmering in the back of her mind since she woke up this morning. She glanced at Fluttershy, who only smiled and gave her a little encouraging nod. Rainbow sighed. “What do I do now?” “What do you mean?” She unfolded herself and groaned, gesturing to emphasize words and exclamations. “I mean! Like! What do I say to her? Or do I just not say anything? Do I just let it go? Forget about this and never bring it up again or what? Should I… should I ask her out?” “Well, what do you want to do?” Dash folded up again and grumbled, “You know that isn’t really helpful. That’s why I’m asking you.” Fluttershy sighed and stepped toward Dash, putting a hand on her tense shoulders when she reached her. “Dashie… look. I can’t tell you what to do. I can’t decide for you. You know that. I can only help you talk it through. Can we try again? What do you want to do? And really think it through this time, okay?” Rainbow groaned but Fluttershy’s comforting voice and touch convinced her to at least not shut down the question right away. What did she want, really? Sunset was gorgeous, and had a cool, bad girl sense of style with her spiked leather jacket and the sleek motorcycle she rode around in. She played a mean guitar, she could paint, and do sports, and was even smart like Twilight. Rainbow knew what she liked, what she found hot in a girl: talent, confidence, a penchant for a little bit of recklessness. Sunset had it all. She’d honestly suspected these feelings before last night, but their tryst had crystallized them into something clear and tangible. Rainbow wasn’t going to be coy about them now. It wasn’t that simple though. “I mean… I… want to kiss her again?” Fluttershy smiled. “But…” Rainbow let out a loose breath as she watched the smile drop. She could see the frown on Sunset’s face too. Rainbow could imagine it perfectly. I’m sorry Dash, but last night was a fluke. I don’t feel the same way. Then she saw Sunset’s sad eyes, paired with a sympathetic smile. You’re really nice Dash, but I had my eye on someone else. Then she saw Sunset looking away, trying not to meet her eyes, blush on her face. Oh stars. Look, Dash. I don’t…. want that at all. Ugh this is so awkward. Maybe we should just not talk for a couple days? So things can go back to normal. Every new imagining was worse. She didn’t see any reason Sunset would reject her. She was awesome, amazing, just as cool as Sunset, but there was always a chance… and no matter how slim, Rainbow didn’t want this to be a wall between them. If it wasn’t already. She wanted more, but didn’t want to abandon their current friendship to get it. She was… she groaned… scared of what might happen. “I want… answers I guess? Why did she run away? Was she scared? Upset? Sad? Angry? Does she hate me now?” The thought struck into her chest, into her stomach, painful and heavy. “She doesn’t, does she?” Her voice sounded small and she hated that it did. “Oh Dashie. I can’t imagine that’s the case.” “Then why did she leave?” Fluttershy wrapped her up then. Rainbow didn’t break down, didn’t start crying, but she did hug her best friend back, gripping tightly. “Have you considered that she’s asking the same questions you are?” “What do you mean? I‘m still here.” Fluttershy shook her head. Rainbow didn’t see it, but she could feel it against her shoulder. “Not what I meant. I mean… what if she thought you were scared? Or angry? Or sad? Or ashamed? Or all of that together. She probably got… scared of what you might say, how things might turn out. Just like you are, right?” “I guess.” She said it miserably, because as much as she disliked being afraid, she hated admitting it even more. Especially to Fluttershy. “But I stayed, even if I was freaking out. She should have too. And talked to me. At least then this would be over with and I wouldn’t feel like shit.” She gripped at her shirt, right over her stomach, where she could feel the fear roiling. Fluttershy pulled back from the hug, keeping her hands on Rainbow’s shoulders. She was smiling. It was a smile that Twilight usually gave her. The smile that said she’d misunderstood something. Rainbow scowled back. “Sorry.” Fluttershy chuckled. “It’s just. Remember freshman year? When Gilda came over from Cloudsdale and introduced herself to us. She was planning on transferring and you spent like every day after school with her for a full two weeks.” Rainbow’s frown just got deeper. “I remember her being a total ass and treating Pinks all awful, yeah. I remember nearly chasing her all the way back to Cloudsdale too.” “Right, but you didn’t see it at first. And afterwards you were totally convinced Pinkie was super mad at you even when she kept saying she wasn’t. You’d only met about six months before, at the start of high school so it made sense you weren’t really that confident in your friendship with her yet.” Rainbow lifted a brow. “As much as I appreciate the blast from the past. I really don’t see how it matters now. I’m not mad at Sunset and she didn’t even stay long enough to ask me if I was.” Fluttershy rolled her eyes. “Sunset’s only been ‘doing’ friendship for a little over a year. You didn’t leave because you’ve gone through stuff like this before. Gilda and Pinkie fighting, that competitive iron woman challenge with AJ, even Sunset splitting us up. Sunset doesn’t really have a lot of friendship experience, and well…” Fluttershy looked around, then leaned in and whispered. “Don’t tell her or anyone else I said this, but I think her knee jerk response a lot of the time is to run away.” Given how she’d ended up in their world, Rainbow couldn’t exactly argue that. “So… what? Fight or flight and she chose flight?” “I could be wrong I guess, but honestly I think if she hadn’t needed to eat, she would have left earlier. She masks it well, but I could tell she was… tense.” They sat there, not speaking for a little bit. The sound of the washing machine kept going in its regular ka-chunk, ka-chunk, ka-chunk. Rainbow pulled away from Fluttershy’s grip and reclined back against the machine. Then she leaned back further, bending her back until her shoulder blades rested upon cool metal. She groaned. “So what the fuck now? Do I go chasing after her all dramatic like?” Fluttershy snickered, shook her head, and pulled her phone from her pocket. “Or… you could just call her?” Rainbow sighed, patting at her pockets. She frowned, double checked, then made a sound that was part hopeless moan, part irate growl. No phone anywhere on her person. Of course she’d lost it during the party “I’ll call it…” Fluttershy said, and started dialing.