//------------------------------// // Revenge of Vodka: the Prequel // Story: Nikolai Berlinski and Equestria, with no Zombies?!?! // by Awesomedude17 //------------------------------// Nikolai Berlinski and Equestria, with no Zombies?!?! By Awesomeman17 "Twilight!" Nikolai screamed as he knocked on the door repeatedly. Applejack could not believe this man. The door slowly opened to reveal Twilight. "Nikolai, what are..." "Where is Dempsey?" "He went to Canterlot with Princess Celestia." "Canterlot! I was just there yesterday. FUCK!" "Why do you..." "I just need to talk to him." "Well, he might not be there anymore." "Why not?" "Because he said he had a mission to get to now." "Ugg, fine. I'll just pester Rarity for moment." Oh, remind her about Tom. "Who said that?" "Nikolai?" Only you can hear me. Just let Dempsey do his job and... DISCORD! Oh no... I don't know why you are communicating with the humans, but you and I are going to have a talk. Fine, but let Nikolai join in Tia. Very well then. Nikolai, prepare yourself. "What the hell is..." Nikolai disappeared in a flash, surprising the mares. "Where's Nikolai go?" Applejack was worried for Nikolai. "Maybe the princess summoned him?" Twilight said in an attempt to calm Applejack down. "Ah... Ah guess so." "... on he... WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED? WHERE AM I? I need a drink." "Nikolai, I summoned you here." "Why? So you can tell me I can't drink?" "No, come on out, Discord." "But of course." The draconequus walked from the podium he was on. He was set free, but in a room in the castle that made Discord powerless. "After all, he is a very chaotic being." "Whoa, your mother must have been busy before you were... were..." Nikolai then belched. "You smell nicer." Celestia was surprised at that fact. "Hospital washing machine and Oxygen tank do wonders when used more than once." "I afraid I don't follow." Discord was just watching Dempsey until he reached the cave. "It was fucking monkey's fault. Eww, they have really creepy eyes and are so annoying." "Really?" Discord wanted to summon a monkey to freak out this human. "Enough!" Celestia needed answers. "Discord, why have you been guiding Dempsey to the Cave of Vagueness?" "Why Tia, that is a good question. And my answer, I am not really a bad guy, more like an anti-hero." "What is difference?" Nikolai asked. "An anti-hero does what he wants, whenever he wants. And I want to help the humans go home. You see, chaos is wonderful, but even more so when I do it, not others." "So you are doing this for your own personal gain?" said Celestia. "Yes and no. Yes as in I could win an ally, and no as in that sometimes, I want to be the hero, the good guy, the one who..." "The douchebag who brags." Nikolai wanted to be a dick right now for no reason. "You want to learn about Tom?" "Hmm, if it'll piss Rarity off, then hell yes!" "Then shut it! Now Celly, you and I both know that there is a spell to send them back right?" "Correct." "And that the spell requires a specific stone from said 'Cave of Vagueness'." Celestia widened her eyes, she had completely forgotten the Stone of Souls. "Oh... you sent Dempsey there..." "To retrieve the Stone and get home to his zombie infested apocalypse." "Wow... I didn't think that you would be helpful. I mean, you would be new best friend if you got me vodka." "Yes, and now, Nikolai, I'll tell you about Tom." Dempsey had his flashlight on, and he wasn't sure what to do. "Dammit Discord, why did this have to be confusing?" Dempsey was, for a lack of a better term, wandering in the caves. He then noticed a peculiar stone. "Huh, what is..." PicK IT uP aND You'Ll Go hOMe! "What the..." PIcK iT Up! Dempsey obliged, and felt nothing. GO BacK! "O... kay." Dempsey walked back, and somehow ended up at the entrance faster then he thought it would take. Dempsey, it's me Discord. Oh, craptastic. What is it? That stone you got, you'll need it for sure. Why are you helping me? And how do you know Richtofen? I'm helping you because I want to. As for Richtofen... Let's just say he and I go back a while. Right... How am I going to get back? Dempsey then saw a familiar shape. "Princess, I see you came with Nikolai." "Yes, I have. Let's go back to Ponyville." "Da Dempsey, I have new way to taunt bitch unicorn." "Oh no, you don't." Celestia was not letting Nikolai terrorize her subjects again for laughs. "What? But I had the perfect way to make her angry. Its name was Tom." Dempsey at this point had already gotten on the chariot. "Tom?" Dempsey then sighed, "Nevermind, can we go now?" Dempsey asked Celestia. "Of course. You got the stone?" "Yeah, I do. Wait... how'd..." "I know Discord guided you. And while I'm against trusting him, this time shall be an exception." "How do you know Discord?" "He and I go way back." "Right." Dempsey was really starting to get pissed off. "Dempsey, I'm almost out of vodka." "Nikolai... not now." "...and he just disappeared and..." "Applejack?" Rainbow Dash was confused, until she looked at what Applejack was looking at. "WHOO HOOO! The princess brought back Tank and Nikki!" Pinkie Pie was ready to throw one of her parties for them. "We're back, bitches!" "And we've got vodka!" The chariot landed in front of the library and the three occupants stepped off. "Princess, I'm so glad that Tank and Nikolai are okay." "Don't worry my faithful student. They're okay, and we have everything we need to send them back home." "That's great!" "Wait wait wait wait wait... wait! We haven't even given them a party for their troubles yet." Pinkie Pie said, being usual ecstatic self. Celestia pondered about this before saying, "Very well, we shall have a farewell party for these two." "Better be vodka there." "Really Niko... Ya know what, Ah'm just glad yer back Nikolai. Honest." "And I am glad I'm almost out of this stupid world too, Applejack." "Yeah, the author will send us back the chapter after the next one, so let's just end this chapter now, and be done with it." "What chapter Demp..." -Chapter End-