MLP: Adventures
Shadow blinked and opened his eyes. Pushing aside the covers, some vodka bottles, an empty cocaine packet, two vibrators and Sara’s cat fursuit head, he looked at his alarm clock.
5:30.
“Aw, jeez, there’s no way I should be up this early...” Shadow mumbled through his hangover headache.
He slowly tried to get up to avoid waking Sara, then had to bite his hand to keep from screaming as a jolt of pain shot through his body. He slowly looked down at his chest. Attached to his nipples were two jumper cables, which led down to a car battery.
“What the hell did we do last night?” Shadow questioned, not remembering much.
After much tiptoeing, shadow made it to the stairs. As he started going down, he noticed that the TV was on in the living room.
Shadow walked over to see that My Little Pony was playing. Looking over onto the couch, he saw Gabe staring at the screen. He had bags under his eyes, chips strew across the couch, an empty pizza box on his lap, a violated-looking raccoon sitting next to him, and a goofy grin on his face.
“Hi, Shadow! Come to watch the My Little Pony marathon with me?” Gabe asked cheerfully.
“No. Have you been here all night?” Shadow asked, wading through the vast sea of snack wrappers and soda bottles.
“Yup. Can’t miss a single second of MLP. It’s my duty as a brony,” Gabe said earnestly.
“Uh huh. Sure,” Shadow said skeptically.
“Hey, it’s a funny show!” Gabe rebutted.
“Sure...” Shadow said, not believing Gabe for a second.
“And... Pinkie Pie is... sexy...” Gabe mumbled.
“Ah HA!” Shadow yelled triumphantly.
“But Twilight Sparkle... Mm MM that is some fine pony ass!” Gabe said, reminiscing about some earlier episode.
“Um... ok...” Shadow said, visibly creeped out.
“But Applejack ain’t half bad either...” Gabe said fondly.
Wait for it... Ean thought to himself.
“Of course, Spike is the sexiest by far...”
“I KNEW IT!” Ean shouted very loudly.
Suddenly, a creak came from upstairs.
“Oh crap...” Ean whispered.
“Is that-?” Gabe asked.
Shadow nodded his head.
Suddenly, in a blur, Sara lept from the top of the stairs and tackled Shadow with cat-like grace, and said, “Ready for round six, big boy?”
“Um, I’m not sure if I-” Shadow began, right before Sara proceed to yiff him right then and there.
“Gabe! Save me!” Shadow cried out to his friend.
“Hey!” Gabe yelled angrily at Sara. Sara looked up.
“Take him to the basement. His screams are drowning out MLP,” Gabe said, dismissing them with a wave of his hand.
“You know what, Gabe? Fu-” The Door to the basement slammed before Shadow could finish his profanity.
“Ah, yes...” Gabe said, grabbing a Coca-Cola and turning the volume up on the TV.