//------------------------------// // Alcohol and Ponies.... // Story: My Roommate is a pony? // by Meh121 //------------------------------// A/N Sorry I've been playing borderlands 2 like a crack head and no I have nothing against pot heads... "Um Pinkie right?" I asked, with a bit of fear in my voice from her craziness. "Yep that's my name silly." Pinkie said, in a very cheerful tone. "How the....you know what how did you even find my alcohol?" I asked, amazed at how she found it. "Easy silly, I mean really behind those strange machines that you shove stuff in." Pinkie said confused, at where a washer and dryer were. "You really don't know what those are?" I asked. "Um pardon me but if you forgot ponies don't normally wear clothes." Applejack said politely. I sighed before I face palmed, I quickly bent down and grabbed my Jack Daniels from Pinkie. "Right I forgot, well those...." I stopped thinking about having a bit of fun. "What are they?" Rainbow asked. I sighed before I chuckled. "Those are magical portals to magical places, they can take you and your clothes to a magic planet." I told them. I started laughing before I saw Twilight say something. "Um I thought you said magic is not real." Twilight told me. I quickly gave off a blush, before hiding my face. "So you were lying to us partner?" Applejack asked. "Not lying more like joking." I told Applejack before taking a swig. "I guess so." Applejack sighed out. Pinkie on the other half was, laughing like I told the funniest joke ever. "Oh that was funny everypony thought you were telling us the truth, then Twilight was all like um you don't believe in magic!" Pinkie yelled. I looked at the others who just giggled. "It's just Pinkie." Rainbow whispered in my ear. I shrugged again and sighed, utterly confused at how ponies act. "Ok then so I guess we are all getting drunk as hell?" I asked looking around. I got a nod from almost all the ponies. Besides one the yellow one. "Um...do I have....to you...know drink?" Fluttershy asked. "No you don't have to, if you don't want to." I said trying to sound as friendly as possible. I was surprised how the yellow mare just ripped the bottle right out of my hands. "Oh yes darling I should have warned you, Fluttershy is a surprisingly good drinker...but when you said those words. Let's put it like this you challenged her. Oh and Pinkie if you think she is crazy now, wait till she is completely baked." Rarity said. "Whoa wait a second Pinkie has weed!" I shouted. "Weed, no darling baked means wasted in pony terms." Rarity sighed out. "Oh thank god because baked here means, you are high from smoking a plant called marijuana." I said. "Oh come on old timer like we don't know that stuff, ever since you humans have came to Equestria the jails have arrested so many potheads." Rainbow told me, rolling her eyes with the old timer part. "Oh great of course potheads and a magical land full of talking ponies, that make sense." I chuckled. "Ok but enough of pot.....time to get wasted." I said standing up on my table. I looked over and saw Fluttershy still drinking, which is kind of creepy seeing her drink as much as a grown man. I shrugged it off and quickly jump off my table. I ran into my not so much secret stash and pulled everything out. I heard a knock on the door, I sighed a annoyed sigh. "Jst a minte I'm coming." I said with a bottle in my mouth. "What was that?" Twilight asked giggling. I set the bottles on the table. "I said just a minute I'm coming." I told Twilight opening the door. I looked and was shocked to see who was at the door. I sat there for a good minute or two before David talked. "You gonna let me in today, or you gonna keep staring at me like a ghost." David chuckled, waving a hand in front of my face. "Oh yea my bad." I said moving out of the way. "David is that you?" Rainbow asked. "No way crazy flyer Dash what's up!?" David asked in a joyful tone. "You two know each other?" I asked looking at both of them. "Of course this guy is crazy." Rainbow admitted hovering above David. "Yea this is my roomy." David said with a bright smile on his face. "I don't know if I should be tripping out or not." I told them. "Please the last time you tripped out was in high school." David told me. "True true, but um how awkward is it that my roomy is best friends with your roomy? Then us being best friends having each others best friends roomy." I said. I looked around seeing many confused stares. "You know what never mind." I sighed out. "Ok then well I see you are all about to get drunk." David said with a grin. "Oh god don't jump off the roof again." I sighed remembering what happened. "Relax there at least I took the ladder, mister climbing off people balcony's and walls." David told me giving me a punch in the shoulder. "Hey I was playing assassins creed when you decided it was a good idea, to have a 'few' friends over." I sighed trying to defend my case. "Oh jumping off the roof sounds like a great idea!" Pinkie shouted, all ready drunker then all of us. "Um Pinkie how are you all ready so drunk?" I asked looking at her. "It's simple a secret mix." I heard Pinkie whisper, before she popped out behind me. "Oh Jesus Christ!" I shouted falling. "Well then my little ponies and two humans." Celestia said with a grin on her face. "Oh my god the princesses are here!" David shouted before kneeling. "It's fine no need for such formal greetings when we are off duty." Celestia told David calmly. "Pinkie can I try your secret mix?" I asked seeing how fast it got her drunk. "S-sure...thing." Pinkie told me. I watched as she quickly dashed over to the drinks, and moved a incredible speed before she stopped. I looked at her in amazement seeing how fast she can make a drink. "Um how is that possible?" I asked a bit in fear. "It's Pinkie she breaks the laws of physics." Twilight told me. I looked down at her and saw her giggle, I noticed how cute her eyes looked. 'No she is a pony not a human, she is not cute like that!' I thought shaking myself loose. "Is something the matter?" Twilight asked me. "Nah it's fine." I assured her, giving off a slight blush. I felt a quick yank on my shoulders only to face a blue mare, she looked at me giving a 'hey let's talk...in private' look. I nodded and went into the room with her, I quickly closed the door. "Ok before we all get drunk as hay let me tell you this." Rainbow stopped, moving her hoof around like trying to find the right words. I sat down watching her move her hoof around a little bit. "Ok let's just say it like this you're dumb." Rainbow sighed putting a hoof on my shoulder. "Well that's kinda blunt there isn't it?" I asked, wondering why she said that. "I mean girl wise." Rainbow sighed. "What does that mean?" I asked looking at Rainbow directly in the eyes. She returned the look and stared me down. "Look for a human you're pretty cute kid, but I'm not gonna try and steal you from my best friend." Rainbow told me. "What do you mean?" I asked giving her a weird stare. Rainbow gave a frustrated sigh. "You really didn't notice as long as you've lived with her....Twilight likes you!" Rainbow said a little louder then I expected, which caused me to jump a bit "Well of course she likes me, we are good friends." I told Rainbow. "No I mean she really likes you, like really bad look here I'll show you my text." Rainbow said. "Isn't that kinda unloyal showing private conversations." I said. "It's being a good friend to you, so in a way it's loyal." Rainbow told me showing her phone. I grabbed it out of her hands, and scrolled through lines of text. I stopped seeing Twilight in the huge line of text. I pulled up the text reading through some of the crap, until I saw Twilight ask. _________________________________________________________________________________________________ Hey can I ask you something? Of course Twilight. Is it strange to have feeling for my roommate? Um you mean the one you like to tell me about? Yes that's him, I really like him.....he is so nice and he is pretty cute. Well I mean personally some humans are so I think it's natural. What if he doesn't like me, or is creeped out knowing if I like him? Well then I have no idea what then. Well that doesn't help. I'm sorry Twi. It's fine well I'll talk to you later. See you in a few days. _________________________________________________________________________________________________ I sat there for a second, before I heard a knock on the door. "Who is it?" I asked. "It's Twilight." Twilight told me. I gave Rainbow a quick glance. "Oh this is gonna make it look awkward." Rainbow said. "Hold up back up plan time, oh by the way Rainbow promise me this." I said stopping before pulling out a can of bud light. "I promise but what is it?" Rainbow asked. "It's strange but I think I have feelings for Twilight too." I said handing her a can. "Oh this is getting good, maybe I'll work some things out for you and Twilight while we are drunk." Rainbow said. "How when we are all going to be drunk as hell?" I asked. "Trust me this girl is a heavy drinker." Rainbow assured me. I gave her a quick nod before opening the human side on the bud light can. I quickly chugged it down before giving off a burp. "Good because I'm a heavy drinker, but there is no way you'll out drink me." I told her opening the door to see Twilight. "Oh really I've drunken three things of Pinkie's special drink and was still sober." Rainbow said with a grin. I quickly gave a grin back to her. I saw David looking at both of us, Rainbow and I both looked at him. "Oh drinking contest!" David shouted. "Oh what are these fine contestants drinking tonight?" Pinkie asked sounding like an announcer. "Your special brew." Rainbow said. "Oh goody." I heard Pinkie giggle, before she bounced off to the table and make a few drinks. She handed them to the others, I was surprised to see the princesses chug the drinks down quickly. Rainbow and I quickly approached my table, we both stared each other down. "Alright rules are who ever backs down from the table first loses." David told us. "Sounds fine." Rainbow and I told David in unison. Pinkie quickly slid two solo cups to us. I quickly grabbed the cup, and took a sip to get used to the taste. I licked my lips liking the taste I saw Rainbow do the same, we both quickly chugged the cups down before setting them down. "Holy shit that is strong." I said feeling a cool burning sensation like when drinking whiskey. "Thanks." Pinkie told me. I gave off a weak smile, before I turned to Dash. I was losing my balance before I saw my vision all ready getting a little different. "Round two here we go!" David shouted, dramatically. "Let's hurry I wanna jump off your roof!" Pinkie shouted pushing another two drinks. I looked to see Pinkie who acted sober but was completely drunk. I looked to see her gone and back door open. "Hey everypony we are all drunk, you wanna play?!" Pinkie shouted looking up into the sky. I sighed before taking another drink this one hit me hard I quickly fell back, and laughed seeing Rainbow fall back to. "Well it looks like it is a tie!" David shouted. "A TIE?!!" Rainbow and I shouted in unison again. "Yes you both left the table." David told us. I sighed before seeing Twilight walk next to me. "If you ask me I think you won." Twilight told me. "Turn up that music!" Pinkie shouted, I looked to see her dancing drunkenly on the porch to no music. I sighed just understanding it was Pinkie. I just chuckled and gave a kind smile to Twilight. I looked down and blushed again, I suddenly start to feel very dizzy and fell. "Are you all right?" Twilight asked me, staring down at me. I stared into her eyes again, blushing a bit more. "I'm fine I see you, that's all I need." I mumbled drunkenly. Honest truth I don't remember much of the night besides Pinkie getting arrested for trying to jump off a roof, causing public disturbances, harnessing a stop sign, and breaking and entering the apartment swimming pool. All I remember besides that is passing out on the floor, soon followed by a warm feeling on my body.