Dear Jet Set
I don’t even know why I bother with these messages to you any longer. Maybe it’s because you might regain some spark of our romance when you read these letters to yourself, the same way we spoke all those years ago. I know it sounds like false hope nowadays, after so much time spent in each other’s company, but can you blame me for indulging in a little nostalgia?
I know, I know. You almost definitely won’t read this letter, no matter how I try to get it across to you. Maybe that’s part of the problem, that we’ve spent so much time face-to-face that we’ve forgotten how to treat each other as new, exciting additions to our lives, the same way we treated each other all those years ago…
I’m afraid I must ask you to ignore any stains you might find on this roll of parchment; those are only the remnants of a potiological mishap, and certainly not as a result of any emotional tumult
It’s just that the memory of reading your first letter to me
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If I knew how
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I lov
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I’m so sorry. It’s just that I miss you so much. I miss the feeling of you nuzzling yourself against my neck, of you being with me when we share a night in bed, of you comforting me in my darkest moments of my life. Where has our life together gone? It feels like just yesterday that we were content with only the company of ourselves, and damn the rest of Equus to the fiery pits of Tartarus! Please tell me, my Settler! Where have our lives gone? Why am I not the mare you fell in love with all those years ago? Why are you not the stallion I fell in love with?
I miss you so much, dear Jet Set. Please come back to me.
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Addressed to Lord Jet Set
Unfortunately, the First Minister has declined my generous offer of food alleviations in exchange for extraction rights. They have made it clear to me that the Free State market is closed off to us for the foreseeable future.
Yours faithfully,
Lady Upper Crust
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Master High Roller of Shallow Shade,
I have reason to believe your enmity with Sir Nocked is about to reach its boiling point. The city of Las Pegasus will very soon become hostile to personalities such as ours. I suggest you move your indemnities elsewhere as soon as possible. Perhaps you could offer your services to the new Free State in exchange for umbrella? I hear they’re in a spot of trouble at the moment, which shouldn’t be too much bother to fix up.
Your loyal servant,
Pockmarked Ditch
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Addressed to Celestia Morningstar – Diarch of Equestria
Priority Mail
Celly,
Hey again. It’s me. I know I haven’t gotten a letter to you for a while now, and I’d like to apologise for that. I’m afraid I’ve been busy with First Minister duties for a good chunk of time over here… something I still haven’t forgiven you for, don’tcha know. I know I was perfectly content reading crappy adventure novels from the far-flung reaches of Equestria before my life became one!
Anyway. Things are still going tough over here. Rationing is tough, overcrowding is tough, running around trying to fix all the little, and not-so-little, issues we have here is tough… I’ve spent more than a few days working the fields myself, before I just plain ran out of steam for it. Had to resort to getting some other ponies doing it for me. I got Construct to finally set up some kind of foraging program around here, since I figured the forest would have at least something for us poor sods to eat…
Oh, and as for housing… well, we’ve had to bunch up a little bit, so to speak. I had a couple ponies of my own sleeping the night in my kitchen and hallway – although Construct did put her foot hoof down and get them out as soon as she could. Here’s hoping our brand-new commieblocks are a temporary solution; the aesthetic just doesn’t work with wood.
I’m sure you aren’t too interested in the minutiae of the Free State’s goings-on, though; you’ve got all of Equestria to manage yourself, after all, which is, of course, so much larger in scope than my own piddly nation. No doubt I must sound like a whiny teenager, pissing and moaning that things aren’t going my way, and that therefore the entirety of the universe must somehow be rigged against me in some sort of cosmic comedy
I’m rambling again, aren’t I? I really should compare notes with that student of yours someday; I suspect we might have much to talk about, once I get over my crippling lack of free time. And not just because I considered myself something of a scholar at some point, earlier in my life Please, please, please don’t let her see what I’ve just written here…
Anyway, I’m sure you must be a very busy ruler, and I’d hate to take your precious time away from the whole ‘running an entire civilisation’ thing you’ve got going on over there… besides, have you finally gotten around to re-opening that favoured pastry-shop of yours, just off Commiseration Ave. two blocks down? I seem to recall you ranting and raving about the egg-custard buns from that place… why haven’t you done anything about that yet?
Oh damn it, now you’ve got me hankering for some amazing egg-custard tarts again, Celly. Thanks so much.
I’d better leave you to your work, before you get overtaken by a hankering of pastries again. I think we both know how you get, after all… (Seriously. Don’t skimp your duties just to invite me to your favourite place again. You know how cranky your people get when you do that. Although, I wouldn’t exactly complain, if you were, hypothetically, to do that…)
Yours,
Adam Inns,
First Minister of the Free State of the White Tail Woods,
your friend
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To Lieutenant Hothoof,
Congratulations on your well-deserved promotion! I never had any doubt in your capabilities to see it through to the end. I know that the usual process for selecting COs these days is pretty rough on ponies like you and me, and that exercise must certainly have tried your patience at points, but I’m glad to see you’ve persevered through regardless! Here’s hoping you get assigned to us, here, so we can whip these sorry mudflingers back into shape again!
Don’t forget that you make more than me now, Hothoof! You’re picking up the tab at any bar we both find ourselves in now, yeah? I promise to try not to drink Equestria dry on your expense… how about starting off with just Vanhoover, first?
Sergeant Treated Polearm
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For PIDC Eyes Only / Confidential
Addressed to the Chancellor of the Office of Public Information Dissemination and Control,
CP: ‘Colorless purple ideas grieve ingloriously.’
Response negative for Operation Peeping Tom.
Addendum Alpha: Operatives placed in AoI: Free State are at risk of termination, as confirmed by First Minister. Possibility of Class-Brook incident. Proceed with extended caution.
Addendum Beta: First Minister is a confirmed anti-thaumaturgical entity. Intensity unknown, assumed moderate. Extreme caution is advised during close-mission encounters involving Invariable assets.
Additional note: resident of Free State confirmed to share physical/psychological characteristics of PoI: Plucked (including coat color, mane color, cutie mark, behavioral patterns (theoretical)). PoI likely in a close relationship with First Minister. Strong personal response as a result of re-acquisition of PoI is unlikely – relationship is observed to be one-sided (PoI-to-actor). Addendum Alpha must be considered during PoI extraction regardless of threat/observation level; First Minister was observed to be unusually protective of PoIs/actors deemed under its protection.
Count Gilded Hoof
Court’s Eye
Count Hoof of the Manehattan 2nd Industrial Zone, MSE, EQEI
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