//------------------------------// // Part 7: The Tortured Survivor // Story: Adventures in the TARDIS // by Scroll //------------------------------// “She's here, Doctor,” Stern Wing announces as soon as Doctor Kelly Saddler teleports within the vicinity. From Doctor Kelly's perspective, this is the first time she is meeting Stern Wing, Feather Wind, and sees the TARDIS. “Welcome,” Feather Wind greets pleasantly. “My name is Feather Wind and this is my long foalhood friend, Stern Wing. Vision, I've been told, you already know as well as the Doctor here.” From a sitting position in front of the blue rectangular box, the Doctor slowly lifts his head and starts to smile at Doctor Kelly as he asks, “Are you sure and prepared for this?” Faced with that choice again, Doctor Kelly closes her eyes as she reminisces on recent events. Not more than ten minutes ago, Doctor Kelly was in an office at her private home. She sat on a floating force sphere with a wedge cut out. All around her were dozens of holographic windows which she sifted through with a glance, moved the window, or spun about on her floating seat. As she did that, she was sucking on a lollipop as she often did while doing a lot of critical thinking. Then, all of a sudden, the Doctor appeared. “Pardon the intrusion, but I have come to make an urgent request,” the Doctor told her after appearing. “Wha . . . ? Doctor? What are you doing in my home? Also, how did you get here?” she asked him. “There's not much time to explain,” the Doctor replied. “But suffice it to say, I'm not really standing here. You are talking to a computer program that I have devised. One whose exclusive purpose, for the moment, is to extend to you an important invitation.” Doctor Kelly widened her eyes at the holographic version of the Doctor. He just laid on her so many bits of information to process, she didn't know where to start. Since he said that his time was limited though (which is an ironic statement for a famous time traveler in her estimation), Doctor Kelly decided to tackle what seemed to be the most important issue during that moment. “What invitation?” she asked but already had an idea what he might say. In reply, the Doctor approached her and then extended a hoof that passed through some of her holographic windows. With that gesture, he said, “Take my han- . . . Um.” Then he winced as he withdrew his hoof and stared at it for a second then offered it to her again as he corrected himself by saying, “Take my hoof.” “And if I do?” Doctor Kelly checked. “If you do then I will show you endless wonders,” the holographic version of the Doctor promised. “I will also reveal to you precisely why you're so important.” “So you figured all of that already?” Doctor Kelly asked in an impressed tone. “Not entirely, but I'm getting there,” the holo Doctor replied. “And we can figure out the rest together. I've got some promising leads, though, and I'd be happy to share them with you as soon as we get someplace more private.” “More private than my own home?” Doctor Kelly reflected. The holo Doctor lowered his offered hoof a bit as he said, “Don't do that. You're brighter than this. Surely you must know that any true privacy in a fully synthetic environment is just a facade. Everything you do and interact with here is done within and to another computer program, and that computer can record and track everything you do. The only reason we have any temporary privacy right now is because I replaced us with another program that shows you just sitting here, minding your business, and the Doctor never showed up. Not even a holographic version of him.” “You're eventually going to need to explain to me how you did that,” Doctor Kelly stated. “Gladly as soon as we have enough true privacy to make that explanation safe,” the holo Doctor explained. “Oh, and by the way, that's precisely why I have limited time here. I can only fool the computer system for so long before it starts running additional self diagnostics. Also, the real version of me is about to take off from this world soon.” Doctor Kelly leaned back in her seat. The spherical ball she sat on tilted back while still hovering off the ground. From that position, she said, “You ask a lot of me, Doctor. This is my home. I'm well established here.” “I can deliver you back near the same time you left,” the holo Doctor offered. “To the rest of this world, only a few seconds will have passed.” “And during those 'few seconds', I could be gone for years on very dangerous adventures,” Doctor Kelly pointed out. “Let's face it, Doctor. You can offer no guarantees that I'll ever return home alive.” The holo Doctor lowered his hoof back to the ground as he admitted, “That's true. I can offer no safe guarantees out there, but the same can be said here. This place may seem safe, but it is slowly killing all of you.” “What do you mean?” Doctor Kelly asked in alarm. “Not physically, but in mind and soul,” the holo Doctor elaborated. “Static environments offer no real growth potential. You all need to thrive more on something more real. I can show you that. “Come on, Doctor. You saw the signs in history that you are meant for something greater than all of this. The reason history calls to you is that you are meant to be there, and surely there must have been at least one time when you looked up upon the real stars and felt you are meant to be up there as well. That there is so much out there for you to explore, and there is. By all the stars, I swear to you that there is. Let me show you.” He lifted his hoof again. “Come with me. I ask this of you. “No. I beg this of you,” the holo Doctor requested much more urgently as he actually bent on his knees while still offering up a hoof with a hopeful and pleading look in his synthetic brown eyes. Doctor Kelly was stunned. The Doctor, one of the most legendary individuals in history, was (sort of) right before her very eyes and begged her to join him. He seemed convinced her presence on his journey is very important for some reason. The only question was what. And she had to admit, his offer was very enticing. Issues of potential worthiness aside, it did sound exciting. As a pony with a heavily scientific mind, she was always fascinated by the idea of going out there and scanning and collecting samples of all kinds of things spread throughout time and space. All of a sudden, that offer was being extended to her and it felt too good to be true. She couldn't believe it. But as she observed the holo Doctor as he kept staring at her earnestly, she gradually realized how enchanted she felt by him and his offer. Almost in a daze, she finally reached back and touched his hoof. With it, he used that touch to pull her onto her, at first, three hooves then eventually all four. “Alright, Doctor. If it's that important to you, I will go,” Doctor Kelly accepted. “I wanted to further monitor and guide Vision's health anyway. I might has well do that for all the rest of you since I'll be with you all too. Just give me a few minutes to gather some important things and make a few preparations.” The bright smile that grew on the holo Doctor's face lit up her soul, and then he said to her enthusiastically, “Brilliant!” Doctor Kelly Saddler opens her eyes as her mind focuses and returns to the present. From there, she says, “As ready as I'll ever be, so let's get this show on the road. Or space or what have you.” “Brilliant!” the Doctor cheers then stands up. “That sounds like a capital idea, so now, then, I think I should give you a more proper introduction to our last companion, and a very old friend of mine.” The Doctor turns to the TARDIS itself, pulls out his key, unlocks the door, then opens it. From there, he steps inside, sidesteps off to the side a bit, turns back to the entrance then bows as he gives a sweeping gesture back to the rest of his vessel. “I think, this time, you should be next to step inside,” Feather Wind proposes to Doctor Kelly. “Prepare to have your mind blown!” Derpy declares cheerfully. With a final glance at the rest of those still standing out here, Doctor Kelly returns her attention to the entrance of the TARDIS and then does approach it to step inside. When she does, what she sees, smells, hears and overall experiences takes her breath away. The idea of something being bigger on the inside is not too novel to her. Her kind, the Magi, had access to some Time Lord technology a long time ago. Besides, by being raised in a computer simulation pretty much all of her life that can take any form she wants, a concept like this loses its novelty. But, despite all of that, what really blows her mind is knowing that all of this is actually real. That this is the real TARDIS and she is standing beside the real Doctor. Holographic emitters aren't equipped in this ship to her knowledge, so whatever she sees after she steps through that door has to be real unless this entire ship, and everyone here, is just another simulation. “Is this all real?” Doctor Kelly asks in amazement. “Am I really standing inside here?” As if in answer, the Doctor just smiles at her then turns his focus as he observes the rest of his companions step inside and join them inside the TARDIS. When Doctor Kelly notices that as well, she steps inside further to get out of their way and make enough room through the entrance. Derpy is last to enter so she closes the door with her tail. “We're taking off soon, I presume?” Feather Wind asks the Doctor after his gaze transfers from the now-closed entrance to the Doctor. “Very soon,” the Doctor confirms as he already makes his way to the TARDIS controls. “Like, right now soon.” “That's pretty soon!” Derpy agrees with a delightful blink of her yellow walleyes. “Very well,” Feather Wind says in a tone of acceptance. “Be that as it may, I'd like to inform you all that I did manage to pass the test for the visitor's visa on this world and I did it on the first try.” Feather Wind grows suddenly alarmed when he notices that statement instantly made Derpy seem depressed. Since Stern Wing does not notice that yet, she follows up that statement by declaring, “As for me, I didn't pass on my first try but I got it on my second.” She shrugs. “After all, it was mostly common sense stuff. Also, after I reviewed the test results of my first failed test, I had a pretty good idea of the pattern they were looking for. Not everything registered in my head, especially when it came to their alien tech, but I got it enough the second time to pass.” She then looks at Vision as she goes on to say, “And, as I understand it, Vision was downright exempt from the test because she's a minor.” Stern Wing then looks at Derpy and asks the gray mare, “And how did you do?” Right after Stern Wing asked, she finally notices Derpy starting to break down into tears. “I . . . I didn't pass!” Derpy declares in huge shame as she closes her eyes, bows her head, and her face scrunches up in shame. “And I tried! I tried so hard! I swear I did! Really I did!” “Shh-shh-shh,” Stern Wing hushes Derpy as the tall mare approaches the smaller pegasus and drapes a large brown wing over the gray mare. “It's okay. None of that matters now. We're leaving that world anyway.” “You don't understand!” Derpy wails as the TARDIS engine starts up for ignition. “I really, really tried and I failed five times in a row! I studied and I tested and I studied and I tested. I could never get it right!” Tears drip from Derpy's tightly closed eyes and onto the floor. “I really am just a big, stupid feather brain,” Derpy says in a tone of sad acceptance. With eyes still closed, she shakes her head as she says, “And it doesn't matter what planet we go to next. That inherent fact will still be true about me.” When Stern Wing uses her wing to pull Derpy even closer for a tighter hug, the bubble cutie mark pegasus turns her face into Stern's chest and wails. “I'm so sorry you're stuck with a useless companion like me,” Derpy apologizes in a muffled tone due to her face being half buried into Stern's fur. After the TARDIS engine cools off and is followed by the fading laser blast sounds, the Doctor steps down from the TARDIS's controls to approach Stern and Derpy. When he arrives, he taps Stern on her shoulder to get her attention. Once he has it, he says, “Please step aside. It's my turn.” Stern nods in very serious acceptance then releases Derpy before stepping aside. Once that happens, the Doctor takes Stern's place by stepping in front of Derpy, but she does not meet his gaze because she is too ashamed of herself. A brief moment of silence passes in that tense fashion before the Doctor requests with a bit of a hard tone in his voice, “Derpy, look at me.” It is a struggle for her to cooperate, but she eventually does. When their gaze meets, she grows surprised because he is smiling warmly down at her. She expected him to be angry at her, especially since his voice earlier had a slightly firm edge to it. “Do I look like someone who is ashamed of you?” the Doctor asks her with a beaming proud smile down at her. “Ah . . . no,” Derpy mopes with a slight edge of confusion in her voice as if she's convinced he should be. “I have invited very few others onto my ship,” the Doctor informs her. “Of countless individuals I have met, only a very select few I consider special enough to offer this privilege, and Derpy . . . you are one of those individuals.” He strokes her right cheek softly with a hoof and brushes aside a bit of her mane. He also tucks it behind her right ear as he says, “And I don't care what some other societies' standards are. You may have failed to get a visitor's visa from them, but as far as I am concerned, you earned a permanent residence in my hearts. “You are not the stupid one, Derpy. They are for not realizing and acknowledging your brilliance. The measure of one's worth is not only in pure academics. Very few others can match the quality of your Bright Eyes!” he says with a smile at the reminder of her nickname. When he said that, she starts to cheer back up again. “And Derpy,” he strokes a hoof gently under her chin, “I don't ever want to hear you put yourself down again because you don't deserve it, and none of us do either. I'm sure every one of us can agree with that,” the Doctor says as he sweeps his gaze across the others, which is met with confirming nods, including the blind filly. “I . . . I'll try, Doctor,” Derpy promises with very little confidence. “Now come on. Let's see that bright smile instead,” the Doctor encourages as he smiles back at Derpy. “Come on.” He reaches a hoof around her to deliberately tickle her. “Where is that smile that you're so famous for?” Having successfully reached and stimulated some of her ticklish spots, Derpy giggles brightly and playfully before she sighs and gazes at the Doctor with very deep affection. “I love you, Doctor,” Derpy declares in a tone of a happy, drunk-like daze but then soon strongly blushes when she realized what she said and the fact she said that in front of the others here. For a moment, she looks away shyly again, but when her gaze sneaks back to his face with one eye, she beholds him continuing to look at her very warmly before he pulls her in for an affectionate hug. Within that hug, she takes a deep intake of his scent which dips her into an even deeper happy/drunk daze. There is a long period of silence between all those standing there until the Doctor and Derpy finally pull apart. A little reluctantly on her part. “I hope you all enjoyed yourselves on that last world as much as you could because, from now on, we have some serious work to do,” the Doctor announces seriously as he slowly trots to the TARDIS exit. “Yeah. I noticed you were in a bit of a rush towards the end there,” Stern Wing agrees. “Also you have invited a new companion. Not that I'm complaining, but I would care for an explanation.” “And you shall have it,” the Doctor agrees before throwing open the TARDIS doors. Beyond that point, he gazes at the vast emptiness of space aside from the stars within it. He's silent for a while as he sweeps his gaze across the various constellations out there. He can identify every one of them, but for him, this moment symbolically represents much more. “As I told Derpy just a few minutes ago, I don't just invite anyone onto my ship,” the Doctor begins when he finally speaks again. “Every one of them has some special quality about them. Some special, tantalizing potential that I feel drawn to nurture. I dare say I even have a fondness and attraction for the underestimated, underappreciated, and the downtrodden, because, to me, that is a mistake the rest of society around them makes. Sometimes even the individual makes the same mistake. They say things like, 'You are worthless,' 'You are a feather brain,' 'You are a burden,' and other such crap like that. So many people out there try to bury the brilliant light that shines within us. Whenever I see it, I feel compelled to do the opposite of such short-sighted individuals. I seek to uncover the diamond in the rough. “I always have. “I always will.” The Doctor turns about and sweeps his gaze across his current companions for a moment before he steps aside and gestures out the open door which leads into outer space. “How many of you have gazed up at the stars and wondered about your place in the universe? How many of you wondered what might be out there for you to explore? “Exploring the inner and outer universe is ultimately the same journey. It's self-discovery. It is a reach to uncover deeper hidden potential. I've seen it time and time again, so I know what I'm talking about.” He looks out at the stars himself and then nods toward them. “This is the bridge,” he tells them. “This is the link between us all. All that is out there is what we share together. All of time and space . . . everywhere! That whole thing that seems to divide us is, in fact, what unites us.” He looks at them again as he says, “It is existence. It is life. That is so important. That is so meaningful.” “Wow, Doctor,” Stern Wing says with a proud smile and mist in her eyes. “Are you actually trying to get us all into tears? Because, if so, keep going.” The Doctor's serious expression lights up a bit with a soft smile at her as he says, “I'm trying to make a point. I've encountered many out there who did not realize their own worth in one way or another, but the most remarkable thing I have discovered in my journey is that I have never encountered even one person who is worthless. Everyone has their place in this universe. This grand design of life. This journey. This story. We are all living it together. Every one of us is writing another page in this book. Even those who read it are part of the journey.” The Doctor pauses a moment as he gazes upward while collecting more of his thoughts, then looks back at his companions as he continues. “The word 'paradise' can come in many forms, and it has many meanings to each individual. That meaning can even change across their lifetime. Another word that can often be associated with it is 'complacency', and sometimes also the word 'lies'.” “I assume you're going to elaborate on that point,” Doctor Kelly guesses with enough confidence to make her assumption almost sound like a statement. “Indeed I will,” the Doctor confirms. “I originally came to that world to investigate why some individuals from the planet below, the Alphalmians, were allowed to be stolen.” He pauses a moment as he sighs briefly, then goes on to say, “While it is true that those who did the actual kidnapping have cloaked ships, the fact remains the so-called 'guardians' of that world should have noticed and done something about it. For the longest time, that is exactly what they did, but recently something changed. “To my fortune, the Prime Minister of the Magi wanted to meet with me not even a day after we arrived on that world. I wanted information and so did he. That was a mutual, beneficial arrangement, so I complied. He had me wait for over seven hours for that meeting and he didn't have to.” The Doctor grows a smug smile. “But that's fine. That gave me more time to prepare for that meeting as well as other things.” “Is that when you made the holographic version of yourself?” Doctor Kelly asks. “And how did you do that? You know you were being observed that whole time, right?” “Allow me to introduce you to another longtime companion of mine,” the Doctor says as he pulls out his sonic screwdriver. “This is my sonic screwdriver. It might seem primitive compared to most of the tools in your world, but I assure you it is capable of a surprising amount if put into clever hands. “Now I have been to another world like that before but the magic component prevalent in this dimension threw me for a loop for a bit. However, give me seven extra hours of prep time, then it is only the foolish who underestimate me.” “You found the right frequency,” Feather Wind realizes with a cunning grin. “And you did it while being openly observed. “Wow, Doctor. You are such a devious genius." For that compliment, the Doctor bows to Feather Wind. “Yes,” the Doctor confirms. “I've been searching for that frequency ever since we arrived in that world. I had my sonic screwdriver scanning the energy signature all around us the whole time. When I found it, I got to work putting that knowledge to good use.” He nods to Feather Wind as he adds, “As you stated earlier, Feather, when it comes to imaginary characters, it is the creators that make up all the rules.” He gestures out of the TARDIS as he goes on to say, “From now on, I have a new digital spy working for me in that society. A copy of me who also has his own sonic screwdriver, albeit a holographic version of it. With it, that copy of me can keep on hacking for whatever other kinds of information that might be useful and send it to me.” “Brilliant, Doctor!” Derpy cheers but then grows confused. “But why all the subterfuge?” “Because someone in that world is responsible for allowing the thefts of the Alphalmians, and I believe I met one individual with enough power and authority to make it possible,” the Doctor answers. “The Prime Minister,” Feather Wind realizes. “And the residents of that world were expecting you to return for a long time now. Since that is somewhat public knowledge, it could naturally fall into the hooves of neigh-do-wells as well." The Doctor pauses for a brief moment in amusement on how Feather Wind phrased that before he nods and says, “He sought to put me on the defensive immediately by having me wait and then enter the room in a grandiose way. I have seen his type plenty of times before, including from my own people. I'm far too experienced and educated to fall for that trick anymore. His plan backfired, though, since all that extra time gave me more time to prepare for that meeting. “Once the meeting actually took place, I countered his efforts by pretending to realize that the Time Lords do exist in this dimension, and so does the Time War. When I wailed over that fact, that put him on the defensive and off balance. Ever since then, I had firm control over our conversation.” The Doctor lifts a hoof as he declares, “But the most important blunder he made during the conversation was pretending he was ignorant to the theft of the Alphalmians. That was a huge mistake on his part because I know for a fact that the Alphalmians used to have regular contact with the Magi. They are highly telepathic, after all, so they use that ability to keep the ocean planet's guardians in the loop. That was until the Alphalmians started to notice the theft of their people. They tried once to alert the Magi to that fact and they were awarded with a bunch of red tape for their efforts. Ever since then, the Alphalmian's society realized that their former guardians have now become corrupted somehow. As a result, they decided to keep their silence about any further complaints to the Magi, lest they tip off the true culprit to their suspicion as well.” “So somepony was allowing the theft, and it is the Prime Minister himself?” Stern Wing asks with righteous fury then smacks her left wing into her right in a manner that reminded the Doctor of when humans used to smack a fist into an open palm as a sign of anger and/or determination. “In that case, we have to go back there and kick his flank now.” “Not yet,” the Doctor denies with a shake of his head. “He's got too much of a home-field advantage there for the moment. Furthermore, we don't know how far his reach extends. He probably has many accomplices under his rule.” “He's the elected leader of our world. That makes a lot of sense,” Doctor Kelly agrees. “Somepony with that much power and authority can find plenty of places to hide their crimes.” “In that case, what is our game plan?” Stern Wing checks with the Doctor. “I'm sure you have one.” “Instead of going after him now, I'd rather go and collect evidence of his crimes,” the Doctor proposes. “That's exactly what I expected you to say,” Doctor Kelly figures. “We can do that by seeking out the stolen Alphalmians ourselves. Also, does the race that stole them directly normally carry manifests of such things?” “Typically, yes,” the Doctor confirms. “After all, they like to keep track of what they stole themselves. Keep in mind, however, they normally are a criminal organization. They've been in the ringer a few times so they won't just leave evidence like that lying around in public. It probably exists, but it'll take some effort to uncover.” “But now they have a Time Lord on their flank!” Stern Wing cheers aggressively. “And the rest of us,” Feather Wind adds. “Whatever it takes, we'll make sure they pay for their crimes and the innocent Alphalmians are returned safely to their home world.” “We also need to find out what members of my species, or at least Prime Minister Kratus, had to gain in this affair,” Doctor Kelly suggests. “I don't want to sound callous, but there is a chance that might end up more important. We'll free the captives of course if we can, but finding out what certain dirty members of my race are up to could be crucial as well.” “Agreed,” the Doctor says with a nod to Doctor Kelly. “The motive just might be very important here. I've sized him up in the meeting I had with him and I can already tell that is an individual with grand ambitions. Whatever he's playing at, there is a chance he might cause greater harm in the long run if his plan totally succeeds. If that is the case, then I'll need to stop it.” “Just what did he want from you anyway?” Feather Wind checks with the Doctor. “He's the one who called for that meeting. I doubt it was just to say hello.” The Doctor sits on the floor and crosses his forelegs across his chest as he says, “Now that is the very interesting part. He claimed that he has access to a number of other TARDISes like this one, but he didn't specify how many.” Vision is the only one of the Doctor's companions who didn't widen her eyes in shock like the rest of them did. Feather Wind also exclaims, “Are you serious?!” He calms down as he asks in a more measured tone, “Do you think he is telling you the truth?” “I'm pretty sure he only told me that to distract me, but it might also be true,” the Doctor replies. “This society survived and overcame an invasion from the Time Lords, most likely with my help.” He shakes his head as he goes on to say, “It's not unreasonable to believe that the very race who tried, and failed, to conquer the Magi would also have access to TARDISes at their disposal. That is the preferred method of travel for my people.” Everyone is quiet for a moment until Doctor Kelly asks, “So what are you going to do?” “I agreed to help him figure out how to unlock and use them, but in exchange, I am the one who gets to train the would-be pilots and captains of those vessels.” “Are you sure that's wise?” Stern Wing asks cautiously. The Doctor grows a devious grin as he says, “That would actually give me more an advantage than it would him. Not only because I secretly realize he has nefarious intentions and can thus plan circles around him, but it would also give me access to more vessels like this as well as trusted former companions to pilot them.” When he said that, he gives an emphatic look to Doctor Kelly in particular and she noted it which causes her to quietly gasp a bit, but nobody on the ship heard that except for Vision. Even if the blind filly didn't hear that, she felt the Magi Doctor's feelings along with everyone else on the ship. Thus, the quiet psychic filly, who is patiently holding her place in the background, just might be the one who is learning the most in this encounter. The Doctor then narrows his eyes as he goes on to say, “Ultimately I plan to raise a whole coordinated fleet of TARDIS users in order to circumvent and minimize one of the most bloody wars I have ever suffered which exists in this dimension as well, but so far I don't know the details too much and that gives me leeway to write my own version of that story. To do that, I'll need to prepare for it, and for that, I need a whole lot of resourceful allies by my side. We'll spread our influence all over time and space so we can arrange critical circumstances to be in our favor.” He shuts his eyes in pain as he says to himself quietly, “Maybe this time I can save them all, or at least more than I did before. This time, too, I'll do it as myself: The Doctor. ” The Doctor pauses a moment as he looks out the door to open space again. After thirty seconds of quiet contemplation, he looks back at his companions as he says, “Remember when I said that I realized the Time Lords themselves were the would-be conquerors of this society?” “No,” answers Derpy. “Actually, he did,” Feather Wind corrects. “It was during this conversation.” “Oh,” Derpy says with an embarrassed blush. “So the Time Lords really do exist in this universe,” Feather Wind points out as he looks back at the Doctor. “At least, now, you know.” He grins a bit. “But they probably have been ponified too.” “Yeah,” the Doctor says sadly. “And, unfortunately, the Time War also exists in this dimension.” “What is the Time War?” Derpy asks. “Pray you never find out,” the Doctor replies as he narrows his eyes at Derpy. “The brief version of it is the Time War is a war mostly between my people and another enemy of mine known as the Daleks. This is an oversimplified version of an explanation but that just about covers the basics. This is the strongest, bloodiest, largest and most vicious war I've ever been a part of. “Let me give you just a small example of what I'm talking about just so you can get a glimpse at the sheer magnitude and horror of that war. Be warned, this is not for the faint of heart.” “You do not have to worry about me, Doctor,” Vision assures who physically has the weakest heart of them all. “I can take it.” The Doctor pauses a moment as he looks down and collects his thoughts, then lifts his gaze forward again as he informs his companions grimly, “There was this one world that got conquered by the Daleks which they were using as a staging operation to mass produce a certain weapon then deliver it from that strategic location. It was a massive thorn on the side of the Time Lords, so the solution they decided upon, despite my most vehement objection, was to aim a massive temporal canon at the entire planet in order to wipe it out of existence.” The Doctor's crew is spooked into silence. “And I don't just mean they destroyed it,” the Doctor says with a brief shake of his head. “No. If only they were at least that merciful. “No. Instead of that, the planet was hit with a super weapon of the Time Lords that unraveled the fabric of its target's existence. Entire timelines were severely altered to accommodate this change so that that planet never existed for anyone, anywhere, in the first place. “The Time Lords themselves, including me, stood immune to the temporal change because we resided in a pocket dimension outside normal time/space, but everyone within the normal universe when that planet was hit was affected.” Just telling this story is causing the Doctor's blood to boil. Both of his hearts are beating fast in his chest now. Sweat is pouring down his face and he's growing dizzy as he starts to hyperventilate, which is very rare for the Doctor. “Can you imagine it? Countless innocent civilizations and victims were caught in that crossfire, including some who were not even on that planet because they had someone in their ancestry that came from that planet or was affected by them in some meaningful way. All of that just GONE!" the Doctor suddenly shouts at the end. “Even the ancestors before all this started suffered from that blow as they, too, were wiped from existence along with everything on that entire planet and others affected by them in any way whatsoever.” The Doctor rolls forward on his knees because he's now too dizzy to stand anymore. He continues to breathe very rapidly which finally snaps some of his companions out of their horrified stupor in order to approach and attempt to comfort him. Doctor Kelly is the first to arrive followed by Derpy then Stern Wing. Feather Wind remains too stunned and numb to barely comprehend anything anymore, and Vision holds her ground surprisingly well physically and emotionally. “There weren't even corpses to bury,” the Doctor struggles to say. “No ashes. Nothing. Not even their memory lingered enough for anyone to mourn. They were erased from existence. The ultimate insult and denial of one's personal freedom and fate. “And for what? One little strategic outpost of a conquered world? A world that was filled with victims to begin with? A world that needed our help. They cried for our help, and what did my people do? Callously denied them and stomped them out of existence for simply being in the way. “Oh, how the mighty had fallen. The guardians of time and space sank to become the very tyrants they once opposed.” Suddenly, the Doctor struggles to rein in his emotions until Vision spoke. “Doctor,” she says. He looks at her. She has her face in his general direction as she says, “Let it all out.” The Doctor looks down, closes his eyes in a tight wince, and shivers in pain. Still, though, he struggles to contain himself. “Doctor, let it go,” Vision advises again. “Everypony aboard this ship can hoofle it.” She nods at him. “It's finally time.” The Doctor's emotions are in such raging flux right now that he can barely contain it. With him pushed that far to the edge, he looks about himself at the others for advice. He gets a nod from each of them even if they don't fully understand his pain. For him, the most meaningful nod of confirmation is from Doctor Kelly. For some reason, her confirming nod hits much closer to his hearts than the others, but part of him knows why. If she is who he thinks she is, he cannot lie or deny her. So the Doctor faces his pain as his courage holds on by a thread. So much pain and torment circulate this memory alone, but there were many others like it spread across the Time War. Enough trauma to easily ensure PTSD of any survivor. That's the way the Doctor always saw himself ever since the Time War passed. Notably, a war that the Daleks technically won when all was said and done because some of the Daleks survived and rebuilt their empire. The Time Lords weren't so lucky. Meanwhile the Doctor, the one survivor of the Time War of his people, lost his home as well as everyone he cared about within it. There are so many names etched on his hearts because of that. Good people he refuses to forget no matter how much that knowledge tortures him. That's what he's been ever since the Time War. Not the glorious victor that he sometimes pretends to be, but rather the tortured survivor. The last of the Time Lords. With that thought, an explosion of pain erupts from his chest. This time he cannot contain it. He has crossed the event horizon. The Doctor roars at the top of his lungs with that explosion of pain and anger. Moments later, he roars beyond the top of his lungs. His voice became multi-tonal and more voices join his roar as he continues. In addition, a blast of energy erupts from his body. The energy that normally would only show up to save his life from complete termination, but this time his body can't tell the difference between the pained roar and him being in actual death throes. Instinctively and wisely, the rest of his nearby companions back off the moment they saw the golden explosion of energy radiating off of his body. The sheer horror of his scream sank deeply into their souls which is precisely why he tried so hard to fight this before. He didn't want to hurt his friends badly enough to potentially drive them insane with grief, but this time he could not help it. It just came out too strong to fight back anymore. Yet just outside, in the vast emptiness of space, everything remains completely quiet despite the sheer intensity of his roar or the fact that the TARDIS doors are still wide open. More and more voices join the Doctor's scream. They each echo, making it sound like more than there actually are. First, it sounded like ten voices, then a hundred, then thousands. After that, everypony in the TARDIS had no way to tell how many there are. The voices join in a single cacophony that is more like a constant, screeching note of a song. It is like ringing in the ears times a thousand. During this time, within that golden explosion of energy, the Doctor's face continually and constantly morphs into the shadow of other victims who suffered in that war, including others who were erased from existence. Only the Doctor remembers them now. Only he suffers the pain of their loss, yet at this moment they seem to join him somehow like the last shout of pain from their ghosts. Nobody in the TARDIS can tell how long this goes on. By the time the Doctor is done, everyone is fairly numb, yet Vision curiously remains the only pony left standing. In fact, she's the only one who seems unaffected by the outburst even though she should be the most affected considering her empathic abilities. But she acts like she expected this. As if this moment is necessary and a fixed moment of time. The Doctor collapses on the ground, very wiped out, but he struggles to hold on to consciousness just a little longer because he's not finished with his points. Outwardly he appears to be unchanged, but internally, he would no longer be the same after that moment. “None of you know . . . the sheer magnitude . . . and the horror . . . of that war,” the Doctor declares between desperate gasps of breath. “And I pray you never do. And I swear . . . by all the power that lies within me . . . NOBODY will ever know horror to that degree again.” The Doctor collapses. The TARDIS crew, with the curious and ironic exception of Vision, need a week to recover after that. During that time, they are stranded in space because the one pilot they have is out cold.