“This looks like a, ah . . .” The yellow stallion gives the Police Call Box a quizzical look. He maintains that expression as he rubs the bottom of his chin then gives up as he admits, “Well gosh darn it, I don't know what the heck this is.” He looks to the Doctor. “And you say that this is your spaceship?”
“Yeah? And?” the Doctor prompts while a mischievous grin steadily grows on his lips as if he's hoping for a specific response and he senses he's close to it.
“Isn't it, ah . . .” The yellow stallion gives the TARDIS another puzzled look. He's silent for a second as if considering how to phrase his next words. In the end he asks, “Isn't this a bit small to be a spaceship?”
“Oh really? Is that your opinion?” the Doctor inquires as his smile grows. “Don't get me wrong. I get where you're coming from, but what would you say if I told you it's surprisingly roomy on the inside?”
“I'd say you're full of shit,” the yellow stallion replies bluntly as he looks back at the Doctor. “Even if you had a holographic simulation in there to make it seem as big as you want, it would be, nevertheless, still that,” he nods to indicate the ship, “in its actual size.”
The Doctor just bursts into a chuckle.
“Still, let's say you're right and this is your spaceship,” the yellow stallion goes on, “how did you get through our protective shield? Were you invited to be here?”
“I'm sorry, what shield is he talking about?” Feather Wind inquires of the Doctor.
“This moon, and the planet it orbits, is protected by a barrier that prevents physical transport. It also serves as a sort of sensor. If anything tries to penetrate it, then those who are running security on this moon place will be alerted to the attempt,” the Doctor calmly informs Feather Wind. He instantly simmers down from his chuckle in order to do so. “This serves the dual purpose of protecting the natives here on this moon but also to prevent unauthorized access to the ocean planet below. The earth ponies planted down there are supposed to be monitored without extra-terrestrial interference. That includes the ponies here who originally planted those earth ponies down on the planet below.”
“For what purpose?” Stern Wing asks curiously.
“That, I'm not sure,” the Doctor replies. “That means the natives here from the other dimension either forgot that as well, or weren't forthcoming about it. I suspect the general populace is no longer aware of why they did that, but the answer is buried in their own data system. That's, ah,” he looks at Feather Wind, “their own version of record keeping.
“Based on the way things turned out, however, I can stab a few guesses. I suspect, given the evidence presented, that this civilization survived an alien invasion of some kind. They might have also assimilated the alien tech of their invaders into their own culture and that caused an unnatural bump in their technological evolutionary process. They couldn't help but to be curious, and at one time, they were probably also desperate.”
“That makes sense,” Feather agrees.
The Doctor shakes his head with a slightly sad expression as he goes on to lecture, “But I have often observed that any culture that receives a sudden shock evolutionary bump in some kind of tool, no matter what form it takes, it often also entails some growing pains to go along with it. Wisdom needs time to catch up to their new knowledge level. Before that happens, they'll make a lot of regretful mistakes. It's like giving a dangerous weapon to a child. Until they grow up, they may accidentally use it irresponsibly.”
“That also makes sense,” Stern Wing agrees as well.
“So that is what probably happened here. They toyed and experimented with their new tech, likely during and after they ousted their previous would-be conquerors, and it resulted in making a lot of mistakes. When they later realized it, maybe they started to wonder how their culture would have turned out if it had not been interfered with in the first place. To answer that question, they set up this experiment. Put pony life on an alien planet and see how they evolve on their own this time without external interference. Once the guardians here see the results of that experiment, then they can get a better idea of how they,” he points at the yellow stallion, “also would have turned out. It's kind of an experiment of self-reflection.
“To tell you the truth, my own people did something like this several times over. They, too, had a god complex and liked to interfere with all kinds of crazy experiments until they were wiped out by . . . um . . . Let's just say it was a long period of unpleasantness that I'd rather keep behind me.”
“Time Lord Victorious?” Feather Wind repeats what the Doctor had once declared as an alternate title on the recently departed ocean planet. “The Oncoming Storm?” Feather Wind squints at the Doctor as he asks, “You sure that god complex is just limited to your own people?”
The Doctor smiles a little shyly as he replies, “We all have our own various backgrounds and roots. If you think I am arrogant, then you haven't seen anything yet. You haven't seen my people during their heyday.”
“I'll take your word for it,” Feather Wind accepts as he passes his look from the Doctor to the yellow stallion. Meanwhile, the yellow stallion was looking back and forth between each pony who spoke and tried his best to follow the conversation. Based on the look on his face now, he wasn't completely successful.
“Um,” the yellow stallion scratches his head. “Did the little blue stallion just say 'Time Lord'?”
“You've heard of them before?” the Doctor asks with sudden sharp interest to the yellow stallion, of whom the TARDIS trio still does not know the name of.
“I suppose you can say as myths and legends,” the yellow stallion answers. “To be honest, I've never given it much thought before, but if you're bringing it up now and one of you is even claiming to be one of them, then I'm quickly growing to suspect that all of this is above my pay grade.”
“So there is a currency in this world?” Stern Wing wonders aloud. “What kind exactly?”
“Actually, no,” the Doctor corrects. “The natives here have free and unlimited energy which they use to power,” he waves a hoof above his head in a circle, “all of this. Since their most critical needs are met in an unlimited supply, it means all of their services here are totally free. There's no point in having a currency system when they have an infinite supply of everything they could ever want or need.”
“Ah . . . then . . .?” Stern Wing says with a tone of confusion.
“On this world, the expression 'above my pay grade' strictly means 'this affair should be handled by someone of higher authority.' Do you get what I'm saying now?” the Doctor checks.
“Uh . . . partially,” Stern Wing says as she rubs a hoof on the side of her head in continued confusion.
“Everything here may be free, but there are still various levels, or tiers, to their society,” the Doctor lectures. “Higher level tiers are in charge of larger and larger amounts of authority and power. Tasks like that are relegated to those who best qualify and want the job. Nobody here, in this world, has to work a day in their life. They can just play all day, every day, in computer-simulated environments just for fun.
“However, if they actually want extra responsibility and power and they are willing to work for it, then there are various positions available in their society that need filling and they don't always trust such tasks to some holographic avatar. For some critical roles, they want real people on the job.”
“And speaking of which, I think it's high time to call in some of those authorities,” the yellow stallion decides. His horn glows red. A holographic window pops up and floats nearby him. To it, he says, “Computer, contact the Law Enforcers. Have one materialize to my current position.”
An instant later, a pony in some kind of sleek-looking black body armor materializes beside them. This pony, who seems to be an earth pony by the looks of the individual, is wearing a helmet that completely conceals the wearer's face. Instead of that, that helmet has a digital screen that displays a virtual face that is glowing and very obviously fake, but still gives the viewer some general idea of the wearer's expression.
“Officer Hawkly, reporting for duty,” the male police officer seems to say, but the helmet also distorts his voice slightly to sound a bit echo-y and digital. He looks at the yellow stallion as he asks, “How may I be of assistance to you, Citizen Chumely?”
“These three here,” the yellow stallion named Chumely uses a hoof to indicate the three others standing here as he goes on to say, “claim they came from off-world. The longer I listen to them, the more I am convinced they have an unauthorized entry here. Also,” he nods at the blue box beside him, “they claim that this is their spaceship, and he,” he nods to the Doctor, “claims to be a Time Lord.” He shakes his head. “I don't really buy into that crap, but they made that claim anyway. Perhaps they even really believe it themselves for some weird reason.”
“I see,” Officer Hawkly says as he then looks upon the TARDIS crew. “Please state your names for the record.”
Feather Wind almost speaks up, but he pauses when he sees the Doctor lift a hoof. That, in turn, draws the blue unicorn's attention.
“Before we get into all that, there is something I'd like to explain to my companions, if you don't mind. It will take only a moment,” the Doctor requests of the officer. “During that time, we'll remain right in front of you so you can continue to monitor us and record anything we say.”
“As you wish,” the officer accepts with a neutral nod.
The Doctor looks between Feather Wind and Stern Wing as he explains, “Alright, one thing you need to know about our new friend here is he's synthetic too. He's a holographic program that is controlled by the computer which runs this whole system.”
“Com-pue-ter . . . the thinking machine thing,” Feather Wind recalls.
“Right. That thinking machine runs pretty much all of this. That now includes this new police officer,” the Doctor further explains.
“Really?” Stern Wing asks skeptically. “They trust themselves to be enforced by a fictional character that doesn't actually exist?”
“A fictional character who is programmed to be a perfect police officer, at least according to this society's standards,” the Doctor mentions. “All the laws of this society are uploaded into his database which he runs smoothly and efficiently. As a program, he can't be corrupted either unless one can hack the program that is running him. Barring that, he's immune to greed and bribes, nor can he be intimidated. His behavior will always be one-hundred percent governed by the scripts he is provided with.”
Feather Wind looks impressed as he says, “Well, I guess I can see some advantages to their strategy here. Since we're talking about an imaginary character anyway, those that have designed him can make up any rule they want about him.”
The Doctor nods as he says, “That's not all. If negotiations fail, which they can be very good at despite being technically emotionless, then they are also programmed to be as strong and as fast as they need to be to overcome their assailants provided it does not exceed the limitations of the computer system running him or the strength of the holographic emitters creating him. He can also call in backup by creating potentially unlimited number of clones of himself. Since every clone of him is run by the same program, they can coordinate themselves perfectly without having to say anything to each other. They are also all aware of anything that even one of them spots. It is like a hive-mind mentality.
“This character is also programmed to be physically unbeatable by most standard methods. That means such characters will either dodge your attacks, allow your attacks to pass right through them, instantly heal themselves of any damage inflicted on them if you somehow manage to damage them, or make themselves so solid that you can't physically damage them in the first place. If fact, if one were to try when they use the latter strategy, you're more likely to damage your own hoof or the tool you tried to use against them.”
“Powerful, invincible, unlimited backup, perfectly coordinated as a group as if they were all the same individual, and immune to any emotional weaknesses,” Stern Wing recounts. “I'm beginning to see the appeal too, but I still don't like it. I'm not comfortable with the idea of being shoved around by a character who doesn't actually exist.”
“A cop who can do his work tirelessly and effortlessly,” Feather Wind realizes. “If they don't have any true emotions, then they can never get bored and/or complain about their job either, so it won't even occur to them to betray their masters.”
“They can simulate emotions very well, though, if they determine that it assists their odds of success,” the Doctor adds. “Such as with negotiations. They are programmed by some of the best negotiators and diplomats that have ever existed, and people who are that good at their job typically teach that it is important to establish a rapport with their subject. Well, these synthetic cops can do that well enough to succeed in any average setting at the very least.”
“And carrying a big stick doesn't hurt their chances either,” Stern Wing realizes.
“Which is why I wanted to point this out first before we answer any questions,” explains the Doctor. “I wanted you both to know what we're dealing with. Keep everything I said in mind as we deal with him.”
Feather Wind and Stern Wing nod at the Doctor simultaneously. Feather Wind further adds, “We'll follow your lead.”
The Doctor nods at his companions in return then turns to address the holographic police officer Hawkly.
“Forgive me for the delay. I was just clearing some things up with my companions to make sure they understand precisely why it is important to cooperate with you,” the Doctor says to Officer Hawkly. “To that end, I'll further add that my name is the Doctor, and these are two of my companions, Feather Wind and Stern Wing.” When he introduces his companions, he gestures to each in turn.
Officer Hawkly nods to the Doctor as he says, “I thank you for your cooperation so far. I also think it is insightful of you to explain your situation to your companions to further ensure their mutual cooperation.
“Now, if you don't mind, may I have your permission to ask you a few questions?”
The Doctor nods as he says, “You certainly may, and I shall endeavor to answer them to the best of my ability provided I determine it is safe to do so.”
“A wise and worthy precaution, no doubt,” Officer Hawkly commends. “Now then, Mister The Doctor-”
“Just Doctor, actually,” the Doctor interrupts with a correction.
“Very well,” Officer Hawkly agrees with a nod. “Doctor, then. Now Doctor, do the three of you indeed hail from off this world?”
“We do,” the Doctor confirms.
“How recently did you arrive in this world?” the officer probes further.
“Two hours, thirteen minutes, and sixteen seconds,” the Doctor answers. “I could mention the milliseconds but it would no longer be accurate by the time I finish the sentence. And by the way, that is according to your chronology system. If you wish, I can rephrase my answer by the standards of any other chronology system of your preference which I am aware of.”
“That will not be necessary at this time, and I once again thank you for your continued cooperation. It is most appreciated,” says Officer Hawkly with well measured politeness.
“The Doctor doesn't have an hourglass cutie mark for nothing,” Stern Wing quietly snickers to Feather Wind beside her. In reply, Feather Wind agrees with a very emphatic nod.
“So suffice it to say, the three of you arrived very recently. As in, you arrived this very day,” Officer Hawkly double checks.
“Correct, Sir,” the Doctor agrees with a nod.
The digital eyes of Officer Hawkly narrows slightly as he asks, “And is this your first time visiting our world?”
“It is indeed, Sir,” the Doctor confirms. “Although I have visited another very similar to this one.”
“Interesting,” Hawkly says as his digital eyes widen back to normal. “And are you, indeed, a Time Lord?”
Chumely regards the Doctor for the answer to that question too, apparently very interested as well despite his dismissive claims earlier.
“I am indeed, Sir,” the Doctor answers. “To my knowledge, potentially the last of my kind unless you have evidence to the contrary.”
“And this is your vessel, the TARDIS?” Officer Hawkly asks as he regards the blue box.
“Now that is interesting,” the Doctor notes aloud. “I indeed mentioned the name of my ship to Chumely here, but not to you.” The Doctor narrows his eyes slightly. “I take it I've been on this artificial moon before?”
“In a manner of speaking, yes. However, for you, it looks like that has not occurred yet in your space/time,” Officer Hawkly figures. “The last time you came here was not your first time, but since it was your first time with us, you had to apply for your visitor's visa. Since this was not your first time visiting our world, you were able to apply for the visa very easily since you already knew the answers to the test questions, and I can assure you that not much has changed on that front since your last visit. That visa is still valid and on file for you even on this day with one exception; if this truly is your first time visiting our world, then you'll need to re-apply for the visa all over again.”
“Whoa-whoa-whoa. Time out here,” Stern Wing says as she crosses her wings in front of her in an X pattern then refolds them on her back. “Visitor's visa? Test questions? Re-apply? All of these issues sound important, but I'm afraid I'm not following.”
Officer Hawkly seemingly looks at Stern Wing with the digital eyes of his helmet as he says, “All visitors to our world here must submit to a medical examination to determine if they are a medical threat to the rest of our citizens. If they pass, they may move on to the next step of the visitor's process. If they fail, they'll temporarily be put in quarantine while we address the issues that they are suffering. At that point, with the consent of the visiting patient, we will also do our utmost to cure the afflicted pony of whatever condition they are suffering if it is within our power to do so. Curing them prevents them from becoming a public safety hazard, after all.”
“Makes sense,” Stern Wing agrees with an impressed nod. So far she likes the sound of this. “And this service is free?”
“Not only is it free, but it is also downright required,” Officer Hawkly answers. “Unless the visitor decides to withdraw their request to visit our world. They may leave anytime they wish, but they may not advance upon our population until they are deemed safe to do so.”
“I actually deeply approve of this!” Stern Wing says brightly. “This is a wonderful policy to hear! I say that for the sake of your citizens as well. I wouldn't want to be a threat to your populace either. If there is any way I can further ensure that, then I'm all for it and I'm greatly comforted by the knowledge that is the standard policy around here, for it means it probably is safe to approach any other visitors to this world, at least on a medical front.”
“Indeed,” Officer Hawkly confirms. “I am greatly relieved that this meets with your approval, Madam Stern Wing.”
“Madam Stern Wing?” Stern Wing echoes with a bit of a smile. “Ooo! A girl can get used to this.”
“What is the next step?” Feather Wind asks Officer Hawkly. “You said that a medical examination was the first step. I take it some kind of test is the second? A step that applies for a visitor's visa?"
“Once you are deemed fit for the general public on a medical front, the next step is to provide you all with information that informs you of all the laws that apply to visitors to our world,” Officer Hawkly goes on to explain. “You may take as much time as you need with this, but you will have very limited access to our world until you pass your test when applying for a visitor's visa. To pass that test indicates a proficient level of knowledge about the laws of our world so that you are aware of what they are and hopefully you'll also follow them.”
“To ensure visitors can't claim ignorance as an excuse for breaking the law,” Feather Wind realizes. “This actually makes a lot of sense too. This is a very reasonable request as well.”
Stern Wing nods in agreement at Feather Wind then says, “Which also means that any other visitor we encounter with the visa is equally aware of the laws. They might still break it, but they'll do so knowingly and probably aware of the consequences too.”
“Indeed,” Officer Hawkly confirms then looks at the Doctor. “However, there is an extra provision for you since there are extra notes already attached to your pre-existing file. With your consent, Sir, a certain member of Parliament has expressed an interest to see you as soon as you successfully earn your next visitor's visa.”
The Doctor's ears perk up and his eyes widen with interest as he says, “Really?! Oh, this is getting quite interesting then, isn't it? So the very authorities that I want to see on this moon also want to see me in return? This is fantastic! This will make my job much easier here. I might even finish the primary objective of my mission on this moon faster than anticipated.”
“So he really is a Time Lord?” Chumely asks Officer Hawkly in shock.
“I'm not at liberty to discuss private information with you,” Officer Hawkly says back to Chumely. “You're free to draw your own conclusions, if you wish, so long it adheres to the law.”
“Holy Smokes!” Chumely says in astonishment as he eyes the Doctor in amazement.
Stern Wing ignores Chumely as she raises a wing and interjects to the officer, “I've got a question.”
“And I'll do my best to provide you with an answer so long as it is within my knowledge and within the bounds of the law for me to answer your question,” Officer Hawkly replies to Stern Wing then nods to her. “I shall certainly hear you out at the very least, for it is my solemn duty to serve and protect the best interests of the public. That includes our legal visitors.”
Stern Wing refolds her wing as she asks, “That's precisely what I wanted to ask about. What if one or more of us wanted to make it an extended stay here? What if we wanted to live here? Is that option at all possible according to your laws?”
“Thinking of living here?” Feather Wind checks with his friend.
“No, but I am curious what my options are anyway,” Stern Wing replies to her friend. “After all, whatever answer he gives me, I'll know that also applies to other visitors too unless there are special exceptions for some reason.”
“To answer your question, there are different kinds of licenses, visas, and certificates you can apply for depending on your intention and the duration of your stay," Officer Hawkly answers. “All of which will be provided on the pamphlet we are going to provide for you, but I'll answer your question right now as well since I am happy to serve. You can apply for an extended visitor's visa or a business license if your intention is more business-related rather than recreational and thus that is the reason for your frequent, repeated visits. Or, if it is indeed your intention to stay permanently, then you can apply for a citizenship certificate. To do that, you must apply to the Citizens Bureau to apply for that. Among the steps necessary for that are interviews, psyche evaluations, lineage testing, medical examinations, and above all, an entire school session dedicated to educating would-be citizens on all the ins and outs they need to know to be functioning members of our society.
“So, in other words, yes, Ma'am. It is possible to get such a thing, but it is a more lengthy process because it is a more permanent request of us.”
“That's all I wanted to know. Thank you,” Stern Wing says in satisfaction.
“Confirm, you are still the captain of this vessel?” Officer Hawkly asks the Doctor.
“Basically, yes,” the Doctor answers.
“Then I am legally obligated to inform you that your vessel will be temporarily impounded pending your re-acquisition of your visitor's visa because the vessel is currently here illegally. However, if, at any time, you express your intention to leave our world without completing the visa process, your vessel shall be returned to you so long as you do nothing else with it other than leave.”
“Ooo, um, there is one issue with that,” the Doctor warns.
“Which is, if I may ask?” the officer checks.
“Um, can I ask something real quick?” Chumely asks as he raises a hoof.
“Certainly, Citizen,” the officer happily replies to the yellow stallion. “How may I be of service to you at this time?”
“Can I go?” Chumely checks. “All of this is more than mildly fascinating, but I was having a game with some of my chums. They might have completed their turn by now and are eagerly waiting on me.”
For the first time, the digital eyes on the helmet squint a bit as if to indicate regret. The officer answers that question by saying, “I regret to inform you that you have come into contact with these presently unlawful visitors before they had a chance to have a medical examination. As a result, you are legally required to subject yourself to an examination as well. This is for your benefit too, of course. We want to make sure that your health remains in the clear. In this case, it is unfortunate, but you may have to postpone or forfeit your game with your friends because a more critical issue involving public safety has arisen.”
“Darn it,” replies Chumely glumly. “Well . . . I should inform my friends of that at the very least. Let them know that I'll have to forfeit the game and they should go on with their turns without me because I came into contact with unchecked, alien visitors, one of which is an actual Time Lord,” he says with another amazed look at the Doctor. “At least, now, I'll have an interesting story to share with them later on.”
“Thank you for your cooperation, Citizen,” the officer says to Chumely brightly. “It is most appreciated.” He looks back at the Doctor. “Now back to you. You said there are other issues that should be considered with regards to impounding your vessel?”
The Doctor lifts a hoof as he says, “I don't mind you impounding it as long as I can get it back either way, whether or not I pass this visiting visa test.” He puts his hoof back on the ground as he goes on to say, “The issue, here, is the fact the vessel isn't empty. I still have two more companions aboard it.”
“Then they will need to submit to a medical examination as well and apply for a visitor's visa if they wish to remain in our world for any length of time. Failing that, they shall not be permitted to exit this vessel under any but the most urgent of circumstances. For example, if their lives were threatened aboard that ship for some reason, then we shall do our best to secure their health and safety even without the visitor's visa.”
“A medical examination?” Stern Wing says aloud. “And you will cure whatever problems you'll find for free? Wait a minute! That's perfect!” Stern Wing snaps her gaze at the Doctor. “Vision is currently sick. Maybe these ponies can help her. After all, they seem to have access to some pretty advanced tech, and you just can't beat their asking price for this service. Not unless somepony else offered to pay us for the same benefit.”
“Best case scenario, maybe they'll even find a way to improve her crippled health permanently,” Feather Wind realizes in amazement. He then looks at the Doctor as well as he asks, “If you think they can be trusted, then I think this option is worth strong consideration.”
Realizing her friend has a point, Stern Wing regards the Doctor again but this time much more cautiously rather than excitedly as she asks, “How about it, Doctor? Do you think the risk to Vision's health is very minimal on this planet?”
“Excuse me for offering a correction, but our world isn't a 'planet', it is a moon,” Officer Hawkly corrects.
“Pardon me. You're right. My mistake,” Stern Wing accepts apologetically.
“I think we can risk it,” the Doctor says with an edge of caution in his voice. “If serious trouble would befall us on this world for any reason, Vision herself may be able to give us a sufficient warning. As it stands, we're far more likely to gain from cooperation with this authority rather than not, and, for me, that is a rare treat. I came to this world to get some answers and, so far, things couldn't possibly be better. I wish I had some wood to knock on right now just in case, but for the moment, we have very good momentum building here and I do wish to capitalize on it. Besides that, if they can indeed help Vision in any way, so much the better.”