//------------------------------// // (Never) Be Yourself // Story: Equestria Ninja Girls: Botbots // by RainbowRaptorDash1 //------------------------------// Spike stretched out, ready to head back to the mall. “Better be careful not to wake anyone.” Spike said to himself as he carefully snuck out of his house and made his way to the mall. "Phew! Now to find Burgertron and the others.” “Hoot?” A sound suddenly made itself known. “Gah!” Spike yelped in shock as he turned to see a familiar face. “Oh, Owlowiscious. It’s just you.” “Hoot.” Owlowiscious hooted as Spike shook off the fear. “You think you can cover for me till I come home?” Spike asked. “Hoo.” Owlowiscious responded. “Thanks, buddy.” Spike smiled before he ran off to the mall as it took some time, but Spike made it to the mall and got in through the back door. Burgertron jumped out as he saw him. “Hey Spike.” “Hehe. Hey, Burgertron.” Spike smiled. “I was just about to wake up the Lost Bots.” Burgertron said as he walked over to Spike. “Mind giving me a ride?” “Sure.” Spike responded as Burgertron got onto his back and they headed to the Lost and Found. Soon, they got to the Lost and Found as Burgertron jumped off Spike before blowing a kazoo loudly, jumping the LostBots awake. “Mommy?” Dimlit yelped as he was flipped upside-down. “…What was that?” Spike asked, looking at Burgertron. “Nothing like rousing kazoo music to get the Energon pumping!” Burgertron responded, waving it off. “Everyone okay?” Spike asked in concern. “I think so. But Burgertron, why?” Bonz-Eye responded. “Probably the same reason as my friend Applejack.” Spike guessed. “You Lost Bots probably aren’t used to getting up at the crack of closing, but if we’re going to get accepted back by our squads, we have no time to waste. We need the perfect plan. And guess what?” Burgertron asked. “You’re a ventriloquist?!” Dimlit smiled as Spike bit back a snicker at that. “What? No. Anyway, I have the perfect plan! Follow me!” Burgertron replied as everyone followed him. “Cloggstopper, you coming?” Spike asked before he found something surprising. “No one asks if I’m a ventriloquist." Clogstopper said to a hand puppet before he voiced said puppet, "You aren’t.” surprising himself with that. “I guess, everyone has a hobby." Spike said to himself as he mentally thought "Even if they are disturbing.” Soon, Spike, Burgertron and the Lost Bots saw the other Botbots watching a video. “A Video Kiosk?” Spike asked before the video kiosk showed Spud Muffin. “Hey bros, bro-ettes, various bro-dentities. Spud Muffin here, just doin’ what I do, NBD. Check it: COUCH SURFING!” Spud Muffin whooped as he then surfed the couch with a flip-flip while the other Botbots cheered. “See? If there’s one thing all the Bots love, it’s a dope BotVid.” Burgertron smiled as Spike stared at Spud Muffin in the video and had a strange feeling. “Burgertron, who is that exactly?” Spike noticed. “Oh, that’s Spud Muffin, my best bud and maybe former vice-captain of the Hunger Hubs.” Burgertron answered as Spike was suspicious, but kept quiet. “Man, that Spud Muffin is a hunk! What poise! What charm!” Clogstopper swooned. “Yeah, he’s got sort of a sidekick charm maybe. But that’s not the point. Look at how everybody loves BotVids!” Burgertron resopnded. “Uh, cool Bots make BotVids. *Quietly* We’re not cool Bots, remember?” Kikmee pointed out. “Well, not YET! Sure, you’re a little weird, and one of you, not saying who, is distractingly unhygienic…” Burgetron started off as Clogstopper had his Tongue stuck on gum. “He could mean anybody really.” “Yeah. That and you're disgusting." Spike added. “…but once we make BitVids for each of you and get them to play on that moving wall, your generalized greatness will be apparent and all the Squads will forget about how much they hate us! You in?” Burgertron finished. “At the very least it could be fun to do.” Spike halfly agreed as the Lost Bots kinda shrugged. "A half-shrug of acceptance? That’s all I need!" Burgertron smiled as Spike leaned down. “Come on. I think I know someone who can help.” Spike smirked. “Who?” Burgertron asked in confusion. “Hop on and you'll see.” Spike responded as Burgertron and the Lost Bots got on him. “Okay?” Burgertron said, still confused. A short while later, Spike brought his friends to the electronics store where Twilight works. “Hehe. Sure brings back memories.” “What is this stuff.” Dimlit asked as Burgertron looked around. “Hmm, no idea. Nerd stuff?” Burgertron guessed. “Who are you calling nerd, nerd?” An unknown yet offensive voice retorted as the source was revealed to be a camera Botbot. “Guys, this is FOMO.” Burgertron introduced. “I know him. I saved him from being bought by a shopper this morning.” Spike remembered. “And how did you know I was a Botbot, exactly?” FOMO asked. “All of you have a scent I can pick up.” Spike responded after a small sniff in the air as Fomo seemed skeptical about that. “Anyway, these are the Lost Bots.” Burgertron continued. “Oh, I know. Everyone knows about you 'Lost Bots'. Ech. I can’t believe you broke The Sacred Rule!” FOMO dramatically pointed out as Burgertron ignored his complaints. “Okay, well Fomo here is gonna film your BotVids for you.” Burgertron said. “Really?” Spike asked, surprised at that. “Yep.” Burgertron answered. “Fomo is doing this for Fomo.” FOMO spoke in third person. “Thought so.” Spike deadpanned, having expected that. “Yeah, I did not become the top influencer in the Mall by helping others.” FOMO added, standing his ground. “Influencer? What do you make people do?” Dimlit asked while hugged one of Spike's leg. “I make ‘em watch suck BotVids. My lifestyle is my brand! Which means I need content, content, content. That is the only reason I’m willing to slum it with you pariahbots.” FOMO explained. “You seem rude but say cool words. So I guess that makes it ok?” Dimlit wondered. “Let’s go with that.” Burgertron smiled. “Maybe Dimlit could stay with me instead.” Spike offered. “Come on, let’s go. Shoot great stuff. Show off your personalities! Don’t worry! Just be yourselves!” Burgertron retorted as Spike had no choice but to let Dimlit go with the others. “Burgertron, are you sure about this?” Spike asked, tapping the Botbot's shoulder. “Absolutely!" Burgertron confirmed. Meanwhile, Dave was on his phone, talking to someone. “No, seriously, they were little robots and the Sparkles dog was talking! In the mall!” Dave said as hysterical laughter was heard on the other end of the phone. “Aw, stop laughing! It’s not funny! One of those robots was a cheeseburger!” Dave explained as the laughter intensified on the other end. “Aw yeah ok, laugh, laugh. Yo-You’ll see!" Dave growled as he ended the call. "Man. My mom sure can be mean.” Dave sighed as he brought out a trap kit he was carrying. “Once you catch the dog and one of those bots in a trap, Dave, everyone, your mom, your boss, that misinformed bus driver, they’ll have to believe you! Building this should be easy.” Dave confidently said before he let out an insanely long instruction manual and two small tools. “Yeah. Yeah, easy.” Dave uttered, unsure deep down. Meanwhile, back with Spike and the Lost Bots... "Alright! Ready to show me the gold you captured on video?” Burgertron asked with fist pumps. “Yeah, show us the videos.” Spike cheered in agreement. “Yep! We were kinda nervous at first, but we’re really proud of what we got.” Dimlit said. “Can’t wait. Lay it on me!” Burgertron smiled as Fomo turned the videos on so Dimlit was up first as nothing happened. “Hmm… When does it start?” Burgertron asked in confusion and impatience. “I think already started.” Spike noticed before “#Kittens” appeared with customized pictures of cats and kittens as he sneered at it. “"#Kittens?!” Why did it say “Hashtag Kittens"?!” Burgertron asked in surprise. “Everybody loves kittens!” Dimlit smiled. “You just erased my brain. What were you doing in that video?” Burgertron clarified. “The Standing Completely Still Challenge”! Everybody also loves stuff that ends in “challenge!"” Dimlit added. “Okay, I… There are no words.” Burgertron admitted. “A for effort, Dimlit.” Spike commented. “Who’s next?” Burgertron asked. “How about Kikmee?” Spike suggested as Fomo was already uploading the next video. “Please be good.” Burgertron mumbled. “And no cats.” Spike added as a video came on, showing Bonz-Eye swinging her katanas at yellow triangles like beat saber. “Alright! This is more like it!” Burgertron cheered. “Cool.” Spike agreed before Bonz-Eye started going overboard with the katanas as she sliced the background, wires and flashlight before the camera turned to static. “Enlightening, is it not? My blade is so sharp, it can slice through our concept of reality itself.” Bonz-Eye said. “Reminds me of a friend of mine.” Spike chuckled. “The end might be a little off-putting.” Burgertron noted. “Well, mine’s ON-PUTTING! Roll em, Fomo!” Clogstopper smiled. “I have a bad feeling about this one.” Spike dreaded as the next video was… doodles?! “The weight of the world got you down? Feeling lonely? Listless? Friendship with Clogstopper can help! Friendship with Clogstopper can brighten your day with joy! Ask your doctor if Friendship with Clogstopper is right for you! Mild to serious side effects of Friendship with Clogstopper include random exposure to dangerous fungi, loose stool, and emotional irritation.” The Clogstopper on the video said as it ended with Burgertron and Spike facepalming themselves. “Called it.” Spike said. “So? Best one? Or better than best?” Clogstopper asked with a smile. “Don’t decide yet!” Kikmee responded as Spike stepped in. “Kikmee, breath.” Spike advised as the next video showed Kikmee transforming into a soccer ball before she bounced all around, tackling other Botbots while she was at it before the video ended. "Why would you do that?!” Burgertron gasped in horror. “What? It’s a fun, sporty prank!” Kikmee responded. “Just like Rainbow Dash.” Spike sighed. “You probably just enraged half the Mall!” Burgertron pointed out in worry. “For real. Y’all are more hated than ever.” FOMO agreed with a smirk before he was punched by Spike for not helping. “Yeah, hers didn’t really work out. But the rest… Masterpieces, right?” Clogstopper asked. “Masterpieces of garbage! Those are the worst BotVids ever made! What were you all thinking?” Burgertron questioned. “We were doing what you told us. Just being ourselves.” Dimlit responded. "No Dimlit, you didn't do anything wrong. It's just... These videos aren't exactly...” Spike tried to say, but stammered to find the nicest words before Burgertron interrupted him. “I didn’t mean your REAL selves! I meant your better, cooler, FAKE selves that people might actually like! How could you mess up such a simple, clear instruction?!” “Burgertron, calm down. We're all friends here.” Spike said. “Okay, Spike. Look. It’s my fault. I should’ve directed this project myself. Let’s just head to the South Wing, I’ll think of something new.” Burgertron declared. “Yeah, we can’t go there.” Clogstopper pointed out. “Yeah, Dave is at that wing.” Spike agreed. “Not to mention setting up his traps.” Clogstopper added. “His WHAT NOW?!” Burgertron gasped. “Oh, no.” Spike dreaded as he realized why ninjas are never supposed to be caught. Meanwhile, Dave finished his traps. “And they rejected your application to the Engineering Academy, Dave.” Dave said, acting like he did his traps perfectly when in fact they were poorly set up. “Well, their loss.” Dave scoffed as his stopwatch beeped. “Ah! I’m late for my rounds!” Dave realized as he left his traps with great confidence they'll work. After he left, Spike, Burgertron and the Lost Bots showed up from behind a pillar. “Wow, and here I thought Mikey was bad at building stuff.” Spike noted while remaining hidden as Dimlit saw the displays. “Is that a new amusement park?”Dimlit asked. ”They’re traps!” Kikmee whispered loudly. “They are PERFECT!” Burgertron smiled as Spike shook his head. “Poorly made though.” Spike pointed out. “Explain.” Bonz-Eye requested. “Well, whereas you all see danger, I see opportunity! If we can beat these traps, we’ll not only protect all the other boys, we will look incredibly amazing as we do it on video!” Burgertron explained. “I guess it could work.” Spike admitted as Clogstopper, Bonz-Eye and Kikmee smiled at that, but Dimlit was nervous. Spike didn’t look away from the work as he commented, “Man, Dave really built these poorly.” “And when our Squads all see it, they’ll be BEGGING us to join them!” Burgertron cheered with fist pumps as Spike tried to bring him back to reality. “Begging might be a stretch, Burgertron.” Spike pointed out. “Look, these are called “traps” which makes me think there will be some kind of “trapping”. What if WE get trapped?” Dimlit worried. “That's why you have me for a friend, Dimlit.” Spike responded, stepping up. “Well , you’re certainly not gonna beat the traps with that attitude! Now let’s get started, the flesh being’s rounds only take twenty minutes.” Burgertron informed as he and everyone else inspected the traps. “Um, why are there loose bolts here?” Clogstopper noticed. “And batteries in a jar?” Dimlit asked while holding said jar. “And oil?” Kikmee added. “Man... Totally cliche.” Spike sighed, not impressed. “You gotta be kidding me. They’re lures! These are robot stereotypes! Come on! Does he really think we eat nuts and bolts?” Burgertron deadpanned as Spike looked at one bot. “Don't try it, Clogstopper.” Spike growled “Aw…” Clogstopper pouted. “Don't.” Spike glared. “Is it possible the flesh creature built these with a blindfold on?” Bonz-Eye asked. “Or he's very incompetent.” Spike added before Kikmee accidentally knocked over the oil sprayer, before the construction fell apart, not hitting anyone at all. “Yes. I'd go with incompetent.” Bonz-Eye responded, agreeing with Spike. “Oh good! We don’t have to do this!” Dimlit sighed in relief. “Bad! We need these traps to work if we’re going to impress everyone.” Burgertron pointed out. “So? It’s not like we’re gonna rebuild them properly and put ourselves in more danger just to look better on video.” Kikmee said. “Open mouth, insert foot.” Spike deadpanned. “Yeah! Great idea! Let’s do that!” Burgertron cheered as Kikmee facepalmed. “So close.” The dog groaned. Later, they rebuilt the traps perfectly. “Hey, great work! We should think about applying to an Engineering Academy.” Burgertron smiled. “Tried that. They said they don't allow dogs.” Spike responded before Dimlit gasped. “We have our first viewer!” Dimlit pointed out as the Sugar Shock Botbot Sprinkleberry Donut walked up. “BotBots.” “Is that all he ever says?” Spike asked. “Yep.” Burgertron answered. “Weird.” Spike noted. “This is only the beginning! Once we make this BotVid, you’ll be signing autographs for everyone!” Burgertron cheered. “No. I will never write my own name.” Clogstopper growled. “Can you even spell your own name?” Spike asked as Burgertron looked at the time. “Ack! The flesh beast is only three minutes away! We have to make our cinematic masterpiece! Let’s go!” Burgertron urged before Kikmee stopped him. “Whoa! Watch it, coach! Oil slick.” Kikmee pointed out. “Thanks.” Burgertron said in gratitude. “Great job, Kikmee.” Spike smiled. “Now everyone, on your ones!” Burgertron ordered. “Better film this, Fomo.” Spike reminded. “Fomo, you ready?” Burgertron asked. “Readier than you dweebs.” FOMO scoffed. “Okaaay hit record!” Burgertron smiled before Fomo did that as his camera lens, being his right eye, turn red. “One other thing: Insult us like that again and I'll make sure my owner Twilight dissects you.” Spike growled as Fomo just scoffed, still skeptical since the dog knew about the sacred rule. “Hey bots! BT here, and we couldn’t help but notice the flesh creature has set up a series of traps for all of us. OH NO! But never fear, your brave and indisputably cool heroes are here to shut this down.” Burgertron commented. "Hi, Twilight!” Spike joked. “SPIKE!” Burgertron yelled as humans couldn't see this. “What? It's just a joke.” Spike smirked. “Not cool, bud.” Burgertron frowned as the other bots were still a bit peeved off from the last time Spike got them caught. Kikmee transformed before bouncing across the bear-traps while setting them off before going into a bucket, lifting Bonz-Eye up as she sliced up the nets that were fired at her before jumping upward as Clogstopper transformed into a plunger while sticking itself to the pillar, allowing her to jump towards the skateboard as she pushed it with Dimlit riding the skateboard. “Whoa!" Dimlit yelped as set traps off while dodging them. "We’re really doing it! We’re actually cool! Whuh-oh!” Dimlit dreaded as he was about to crash into the trap before Burgertron stopped the skateboard. “And that is a wrap on the traps!” Burgertron quipped as Dimlit fainted. “YES! MONEY! Oh! This’ll be the way sickest BotVid yet!” FOMO grinned as he left. “That was amazing! There his no way we don’t look cool-“ Burgertron was about to cheer before he accidentally set off a trap and got captured underneath a box. “Of course, you'd be the one getting trapped.” Spike groaned in annoyance before Dave showed up as the the dog and Lost Bots hid. “Talk about timing.” “Huh? The traps went off, but no robots? I built these perfectly, so-WHAT?!” Dave gasped as he spotted the moving box. “Bonz-Eye, get on my back.” Spike said. “On it!" Bonz-Eye responded as she climbed onto Spike's back before he then quickly ran towards the box while Dave walked towards the trap. “I got another smoke bomb with my collar.” Spike informed. “So I must use it?” Bonz-Eye assumed as Spike saw the opportunity. “Now!” Spike shouted as Bonz-Eye threw the smoke bomb, covering an amount of area in a smoke screen. “Huh?” Dave wondered in confusion before he grabbed the box. “Oh YES! Why don’t you laugh at this, mom. Laugh with your face. Laugh… *Lifts box, revealing only the broken sticks* at me for another night. I’ll find you robots and dog, I swear.” Dave growled as he walked away, not noticing a tear in the box at all. “Thanks for the save, guys.” Burgertron sighed in relief. “No prob!” Spike smiled. “Now let’s see how the other Bots react!” Burgertron urged as everyone came to the kiosk to see Botbots watching it. “Are you showing it? Our brilliance? Our transcendent filmic experience?” “Better b-b-believe! I got it on loop!” FOMO giggled as the group saw the video showing Sprinkleberry walking forward before slipping on the oil slick, falling down and getting oily as the other Botbots started laughing with the video looping over and over. “You didn't film us?!” Spike growled in shock. “What is this? This isn’t us!” Burgertron pointed out. “No, it’s BETTER! I have a keen eye for fails, and when I saw Sprinkleberry headed for that oil, oooh, I knew exactly where the MONEY was!” FOMO explained as Clogstopper was laughing at the video too before Spike pounced onto FOMO and started beating him up. Meanwhile, Burgertron was walking, down in the dumps before Spike and the Lost Bots showed up. “Hey, look on the bright side, sir. Sure, no one saw it, but we DID beat all those traps. And we did it by being ourselves!” Dimlit smiled. “Which was your idea if I remember.” Kikmee pointed out. “And it'll keep Dave from trying it again” Spike added. “You know, good point. It’s not our fault other bots don’t have discerning taste and will laugh at the stupidest stuff on a BotVi-“ Burgertron was about to agree before he slipped on an oil slick and fell, getting a little oily as the others stifled their laughter. “Hey Spike, where do you get the smoke bombs?” Kikmee asked Spike. “Hehe. A ninja doesn’t reveal their secrets.” Spike responded as Burgertron still on the oil slick. “Uh, hashtag kittens?” Burgertron nervously said before he, Spike and the Lost Bots burst into laughter as the dog realized his slip of the tongue “Okay. Walked into that one.”