"So, um... Have any of you actually ever actually been on a date?"
The group of arguing mares turned their heads up to look at Twilight, mainly with confused looks. The exchanged glances with each other before they shared a sigh.
The Elements of Harmony sat on their haunches, not including Rarity sitting on a purple lace pillow, in Twilight's living room, gathered around six envelopes scattered on the ground between them. A flash of lightning outside earned a significantly loud "Eep!" from Fluttershy, who proceeded to hide her face behind her hair.
Twilight's guests had each flocked to her library house for the same two reasons: the letters and the storm. They had each received a letter from Cadence inviting them to a Hearts and Hooves Day Gala held in Canterlot. Each guest was also required to bring a date. Of course, when something related with Canterlot came up, they'd instantly go tell Twilight. The five had also been out during the storm, and Twilight's home was the closest place they could have gone to for safety. Except Fluttershy, who was just afraid of the storm.
The six friends sat together conversing over the letters. It had quickly broke into an argument over what they should do, but now Twilight was going to face the problem head-on and bring up the real question of importance.
"Not even you, Rarity?" she asked, shooting the fashonista a confused glance.
Rarity bit her lip and shook her head. "No... No, not really. There was the time at the Gala with Blueblood... But that was horrible! Horrible!" She put a hoof to her forehead and fell backwards to emphasize the fact. "Oh, there was the time in Canterlot with Fancypants, but that wasn't really a date," she said, getting back up. "Well, I did go on a few a while ago, but they were one time things... And I'm not very proud of them." She looked at the ground, frowning.
"Are you implying that--" Twilight started to say, a little confused.
"Yes." Rarity looked up at Twilight solemnly. The room fell silent. Everyone looked at Rarity, a bit confused. It appeared as though no one really picked up on what she was saying. Pinkie blinked a few times before raising an eyebrow, but then she smiled a bit. She seemed to be catching on.
"OOOOOOOH! You mean that you and a guy you dated once had--"
Rarity magically clamped Pinkie's mouth shut. "Never speak of it again." She stared at Pinkie in rage, and then continued to sigh. Her magical muzzle loosened on Pinkie's maw, and she instantly began to yap again.
"Its nothing to be ashamed of Rarity! I'm sure most of us have done it once or twice!" she said, smiling and bouncing.
"I know, but he proceed 'hit it' and then 'ditch it,'" Rarity said with remorse, eyes closed. Then her eyes popped open again in shock. "Wait, what?" She said suddenly, raising her head up quickly. "Are you saying that you've--"
"Ya-ha!" Pinkie interrupted with a smile. "It was after one of my parties and the guy gave me something really weird to drink and the started to hit on me and he was really drunk but I wasn't so he thought I didn't know what was going on but..." Pinkie stopped when she saw her friends staring at her, dumbfounded.
"What?" Pinkie asked. "Its normal."
Applejack shook her head at Pinkie. "That's... Odd, to say the least, hearin' it from yah, Pinkie." She actually laughed a bit. "Was it really a date?"
"Nopey dokey!" Pinkie said. "He just thought he got me drunk and then we--"
"We get it!" Rainbow shouted, cutting her off. "You've done it with somepony! Can we talk about something else?" A bit of worry could be heard in her voice.
Pinkie giggled. "Don't be silly, Dashie! I've done it with lots of ponies! Mainly after parties!"
The group dropped their jaws. Twilight picked herself up, then continued to talk.
"What about you, Applejack?" she asked, turning to her farmer friend. "Have you ever been on a date?"
AJ shook her head. "Can't say ah have. Too much work I have to do to give mahself any time for romance." She put a hood to her chin. "Ah've been asked on a date a few times, though. Never actually accepted."
Twilight raised an eyebrow. "Really? By whom?"
The apple farmer dismissed the question with a wave of her hoof. "No one special. Ah doubt you really know 'em." She was wasn't wearing her obvious lying face, so the group could tell she was being truthful.
"So I'm guessing you've never, if you'll excuse for asking, slept with anypony?" Twilight asked.
"Once, actually," she said, nodding. "Ah was drunk on hard cider on a business trip Hoofington to pick up some farmin' supplies. Don't plan on doin' it again any time soon."
"Well, you'll still need a date," Rarity said. "I'd be happy to help you. I know handsome colts that would like you!"
AJ shook her head and smiled. "Think again. Mah family's been asked to cater the event by Cadence. So, ah don't think that ah'll really need one." This time, she was wearing her lying face.
"Let me see that," Twilight said, snatching up AJ's letter with some magic. She opened it up and read it over, then smiled. "Ha!" she said, looking up from the note. "It says right here: Though you'll be supplying the food, I still find it necessary you bring a date for when your family members take a shift. You're a sweet mare; I'm sure it'll be easy for you."
Twilight stared at her orange friend.
"Hehe..." AJ laughed. "Ah must have missed that part... Aw, who am ah kiddin'? Sorry fer lyin'..."
"Its ok," Twilight said. "We're all going to have trouble." Rarity and Pinkie nodded. "None of us really have experience. I doubt Fluttershy has ever dated anypony!" The group laughed, except for the mentioned pegasus mare. When they saw that she hadn't even giggled, they all looked at her.
"Oh Celestia..." Rainbow said. "Please tell me you haven't..."
"It... It was a small thing. He... He was very nice," she whispered. "We met for dinner, and then we went back to his house. And I guess we kind of..."
Everypony else was completely shocked. "You've actually...!" Rainbow said, with incredible disbelief. "That's freaking impossible!"
Fluttershy nodded. "He was... nice."
Rainbow hung her head in shame. "So me and Twilight are the only ones in here that have never actually done it with somepony...?" This was just too embarrassing.
Twilight giggled. "Well, actually..."
"Sweet Celestia, take me out of here!" Rainbow cried towards the ceiling.
The rest of the group stared at Twilight in disbelief, but after hearing Fluttershy's story, anything was possible. "My brother wanted to set me up with somepony nice, so he got me a date with a scientist friend of his. It was just a friendly date, but as the day grew old, I was tempted to go out for a drink. I don't really remember the rest," she explained. She giggled a bit when she was done with it.
At this point, Rainbow Dash was crying a bit. "So I'm the only virgin in this room?"
"Well, there's me."
The six swung their heads up in surprise at the small purple drake sitting on top of the stairs.
"Is this what you guys talk about when you think I'm sleeping?" Spike asked with a raised eyebrow. (If that's what dragons call them.)
"Spike?!" Twilight exclaimed. "How long have you been there?"
"Long enough," he said, shrugging. "You think I didn't get a letter?"
Twilight blinked a few times. "I... I guess I didn't take it into account that you may have."
Spike laughed. "Of course you didn't. I'm going to my room. I don't want to hear any more of this." He turned and walked away, but stopped to add one more thing. "And nothing I've heard will ever leave this room." He opened to door to his bedroom and walked in.
The six stared up in disbelief. "Did... That really just happen?" Rainbow asked, looking confused.
The rest of the group nodded. "He now has something he can hold over all of our heads," Rarity added.
Twilight gulped. "He knows Applejack and I slept with somepony after getting drunk, Pinkie is apparently a nympho, for lack of a better word, Fluttershy did it while still sober, completely conscious of the event, and Rainbow is a virgin," she said with dismay, mentally checking off her friends as she listed what Spike now knew.
"That pretty much sums it up," Applejack confirmed.
"Promise none of it ever leaves this room?" Rainbow said, blushing.
Her friends giggled. Twilight spoke up over the chorus of laughter. "Of course, Rainbow. But you know, there's nothing wrong with being a-"
"BLAH BLAH BLAH, NOPONY CAN HEAR TWILIGHT!" Rainbow shouted putting her front hooves to her ears.
Rarity patted Rainbow Dash on the back, since she was sitting next to her. "Rainbow, dear, please calm down. I'm sure you're just saving yourself for somepony-"
"NOPONY CAN HEAR RARITY EITHER!" Rainbow shouted at her marshmallow-coated friend. Then she frowned. "I... Never had anypony special. Never went on a date, never had a coltfriend. I'm horrible with guys. Horrible."
Rarity reeled back in surprise at Rainbow's sudden outburst, but her expression changed to that of sympathy when she heard the melancholic toned truth.
Pinkie put a hoof and Rainbow's shoulder. "It's ok, Dashie. It won't ever leave this room!" she said. "Pinkie Pie Promise!"
"Can you do the thingy that goes with it?" Rainbow pleaded.
Her five friends spoke and acted in unison. "Cross our hearts in hope to fly, put a cupcake in our eyes."
"OUCH!" Twilight accidentally poked herself in the eye at the last part, as usually, after forgetting to close her eye. The other five, even Rainbow, laughed, and were soon joined by Twilight herself.
The upstairs door opened, and Spike poked his head out. "Please be quiet?" he said. "I'm just trying to get some sleep." The six laughed a bit again.
"Ok, Spike," Twilight said. "We'll let you get some shut-eye."
Spike grinned. "Pinkie Pie Promise?" Everyone laughed this time, and when it quieted down, Spike spoke up again. "Seriously. Shut up." He pulled his head back in and slammed the door.
Twilight blinked a few times, then decide to change the subject. Sort of. "So, we each need dates. Anypony have any idea who they'll ask?"
Rarity was the first to voice her mind. "Well, this just a wild idea, but I could ask Fancypants," she said, a little unsure. "I haven't actually seen him in a while, and he might be going with Fleur, but it's all I have." She others thought it over a minute.
"It could work," AJ finally said, breaking the silence.
"What about Spike?" Pinkie said with a confused look. "You could ask him. We all know he'd say yes."
Rarity stayed silent for a minute. "I... I don't know. I don't really feel that way about him. If it comes to that, I could consider it."
The room fell silent, and the sound of Spike, now snoring up in his room, could be heard. Twilight though for a minute, thinking about how Spike would ask Rarity, eventually. If Rarity didn't already have a date by then, it would crush him if she said no. If she already had a date, however, he would probably understand she already made plans. She decided to remain silent.
"So, Fancypants as a Plan A. Do you actually have a thing for him?" Rainbow asked with a raised eyebrow.
Rarity nodded slowly. "Yes, sort of. He's handsome, smart, kind, and very successful. Most mares would fall for him fairly fast."
"Ah have to agree there," AJ said. "If you put those qualities into somepony less... Well, fancy, Ah's fall fer 'em pretty fast."
Rarity growled. "Don't get any ideas."
The group laughed. "Nah, he's way too fancy for me," the orange cowpony said, still laughing.
Rarity laughed, too. "I understand. While we're on the subject," she said, "do you have anypony in mind?" She nudged AJ's side, grinning.
Applejack blushed. "Well," she started, her eyes wandering, "Ah guess? There's a guy ah got in mind."
"Well, do tell, dear," Rarity said.
"Well, ya'll know Caramel, right?"
The group stared at her for a bit, thinking. "I... I don't think so..." Fluttershy said, quietly.
AJ sighed. "Ah thought not. But ya know what?" she said with a smile. "That makes it better. Ya'll can't get in the way!" She laughed a bit, and the group just stared at her.
"Anyway!" Twilight said. "Moving on. Any ideas, Fluttershy? Any specific colt you have a crush on?"
Fluttershy meeped. "Oh... I guess. There's this one colt... He's nice." She was so quiet, that, if not for the acoustics of Twilight's house, she would have been inaudible.
"Who?" Twilight pressured. "Surly we know him."
"Oh... You do. But... I... I don't feel comfortable talking about it," the yellow pegasus said, hiding behind her hair.
"We understand, sugarcube." Applejack said, nodding. "Now," she started, mischievously, "how 'bout you, Twilight?"
"Oh... Me?" Twilight said, blushing. "I really don't know. I was never really for all this 'dating' stuff."
Rarity chuckled. "Surly there's somepony in town you like. A scholar, a scientist, anypony?"
Twilight thought for a minute, then opened her mouth back. "I don't know if he's really a doctor, but I guess Dr. Whooves is quite... Attractive," she said with a blush. "I know him a bit. He seems nice. But he is weird, to say the least. He's always going on about these 'Daleks' and something called a 'Tardis' to himself. Never stopped to ask what they were."
"That guy's a bit loco in the coco," Pinkie said. "Sure you wanna try him?" She leaned in to Twilight and whispered something in her ear. "I think he has brain damage."
Twilight rolled her eyes. "You're one to talk, Pinkie. He's probably smart, though. And his accent is really cute," she said with a giggle. "Do you have any ideas, Pinkie?"
The cotton-candy maned mare shook her head vigorously. "Nopey dopey! I'm sure I'll find somepony very soon, though! Maybe a baker or a chef and they'd have to be REALLY nice and funny and they'd have to not be perverts--"
Twilight clamped her mouth telepathically like Rarity earlier. "Ok then. On toooooooo..." she turned her head slowly and stopped at the last mare in the room with a grin. "Rainbow Dash. Do you like somepony?"
Rainbow stared at her friends, worried. "Oh... No, not really," she said, with the words "Blatant Lie" written all over her face.
"C'mon, Rainbow, tell us," AJ said, glaring at the cyan daredevil.
"If that's ok with you..." Fluttershy whispered from behind her hair.
"No! I don't wanna!"
Twilight rolled her eyes. "Fluttershy, I can understand not telling us. But seriously, Rainbow, tell us!"
The five leaned in closer to Rainbow, pressuring her to tell. She began to sweat, and, as she succumbed to the power of peer pressure, she opened her mouth to talk. "Ok ok! The pony I have a crush on is..."
She was cut of by somepony stumbling into the door. The weight of said pony pushed the loosely hinged door open, and a blue pegasus colt stumbled into the room. He looked around the room. He was covered in ash and limping. "Well," he said, "this was unexpected."
"SOARIN?!" Rainbow exclaimed in surprise.
He grinned at the mare of his dreams. "The one and only." He then proceeded to pass out on Twilight's floor.